"Arnold and Julia"

Written By Shaun Blankenship

Author's Note:

This story is a prequel to Same In The End. In that story, Robert for a small portion of the story is going out with a girl named Julia. Chief had asked me who she was and if there was any importance to the character. At the time, there really wasn't any importance to the character, but I thought about it and wanted to add a little bit of back-story. This isn't really the best I've done, but it is a nice, odd little story about this girl before their high school days. What I think it is, is a small mix between Spring, my first fiction of Hey Arnold, and The Other Girl, my fiction that only three or so people enjoyed reading. God, I feel like Kevin Smith right now. This is just a small little dose of background for those who read Same In The End, it may be a little more entertaining. Either way, you might enjoy it. I guess I'll have to read the review and find out once I post it. Anyways, I should probably get to the story now... Any minute now...

Oh, and a small plug - to hear my song about Helga, the remix of said song, and "Theme from The Adventures of Square-Guy", go to http://www.oocities.org/HA_MDT_Fan

Upon thinking about this story, maybe I should've made this one The Other Girl. I don't know, you tell me.

SCENE: Robert's sitting on the stoop of the boarding house with Gerald and Arnold. Nothing More, nothing less.

ARNOLD: ...So I'm hanging on to the ceiling fan, right, waiting for Grandpa to come back with the stool. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs but nobody is answering.

ROBERT: Wow...

GERALD: Man! That sounds nerve-racking!

ARNOLD: I'm gripped onto the thing and I start to see the base of it pull away from the ceiling. Dust and stuff is falling on me, and just in the nick of time Grandpa came with the stepping stool. As soon as we left the room, the fan came crashing down onto the carpet.

ROBERT: Hmmm.... all that trouble over changing a light bulb.

ARNOLD: I'm tellin' ya. So what do you guys want to do?

GERALD: I was thinking of a movie. You know, I've been wanting to see that new one with that guy... you know the one... [Gerald circles his hands in confusion, shifting his eyes about.] The one with the thing and the... the computer thing... it's the sequel...

ARNOLD: It doesn't matter. The Cineplex is closed for the week. Some kid threw cherry bombs at one of the screens and burned holes in it. They shut the whole theatre down because of it to renovate.

ROBERT: I heard it was Wolfgang.

GERALD: I'm always the last to know about everything in this town.

ARNOLD: The only other theatre is in the next town. If we walk, it'll take all day, but isn't that far of a ride if we take our bikes. It isn't as nice as the other one...

GERALD: Nah, forget it. I'm bored but I'm not desperate.

ARNOLD: Come on, it's a great Saturday and there's absolutely nothing to do. We could just wheel up there and say we did something worth our time. What else are you gonna do?

ROBERT: Well, I was gonna see if Stinky was home...

GERALD: Dentist appointment.

ROBERT: Sid...

ARNOLD: Went to visit his cousin Jerry.

ROBERT: Helga...

ARNOLD: Went to visit her Aunt that lives three towns away from here.

ROBERT: [Scratches head in thought.] Curly?

GERALD: Disappeared last night. Nobody has found him yet.

ROBERT: I guess I was just gonna go home.

GERALD: I don't know what I'm gonna do.

ARNOLD: Come on, it'll take us maybe fifteen minutes to bike there and a lot of that trip is downhill. Do you guys have money?

GERALD: [Searches pockets while Robert does the same and pulls out any found money.] Eight bucks.

ROBERT: I've got a ten.

ARNOLD: I've got fifteen; that's more than enough! It won't be that bad!

SCENE: Arnold, Gerald and Robert all arrive in the next town over, a very slummish city where you can often hear police sirens when nobody is talking. Overturned shopping carts crowd the alleys and stores don bars on all of their windows. All three of the boys are exhausted completely.

GERALD: It won't be that bad! Classic bit of trivia, Robert: name the man who said that quote!

ROBERT: [Bitterly.] Is it Adolph Hitler?

GERALD: Close, but incorrect! Want to take another guess at it?

ARNOLD: [All three of them stop in front of the theatre and chain their bikes to a rack out front.] All right, I'm sorry! I didn't think it would take this long, and I do realize we're going to have to ride back too. [Stops in thought.] Ooh, all that downhill area is gonna be a battle...

ROBERT: Maybe if I'm lucky, my parents can come and pick us up. My mom has a strap on the back of her car for our bikes.

ARNOLD: Well, that'd be appreciated, Rob, but our movie's gonna start in two minutes. We need to rush. [He snaps the combination lock around the chain as all of them do and walk to the ticket booth. Arnold collects the money from everyone else and puts it in front of the ticket taker, a young teenager with blonde hair and a Dirt, Perspiration, and Sprockets magazine unfolded below his eyes.] Three tickets for Syntax Error 2: Bad Command please.

CLERK: [Takes money, pushes tickets out, and holds them in front of the window before releasing them to the kids.] This movie is rated PG-13. Are you all thirteen?

GERALD: [Smiles widely and approaches the booth.] Of course we are! Besides, the ratings are only a suggestion of what age group should go see the movies!

CLERK: [Passes tickets through the bottom of the booth.] Whatever. Thank you for choosing Kavols Cinemas. Enjoy the show guy. [All three of them walk through the doors.]

SCENE: They're standing outside of the doors to the actual theatre playing the movie. Arnold is passing money to everybody. The lobby is ratty and a dingy yellow color. The rug is red with large gashes in it and the lights on the ceiling are covered with age-old cobwebs.

ARNOLD: As change for all of our money, this is all we have left. Matinee price was five dollars a ticket. That leaves six dollars for each of us. Keep in mind that we may need to make a call home, so if possible try to have change. [Arnold cringes slightly.] You guys don't want to sit together, do you?

GERALD: Nah, I'll be okay. Rob?

ROBERT: I'm good with it.

ARNOLD: Good, 'cause I like to sit in the very front row. Usually people don't like that.

GERALD: And we're all usual people. Come on; let's go in.

ARNOLD: I will; I'm just gonna get myself a small drink and popcorn first. The sign says there are free refills so I'm gonna try and save as much as possible.

GERALD: I never did understand why there are large and small drinks with vastly different prices when it doesn't cost anything to just go up and get a refill. It makes the whole size thing pretty stupid. See ya, man.

ROBERT: Yeah, see ya. [They both walk into the theatre. Arnold walks over to the concession stand where there is nobody else standing in line. Apparently, it has been that way for a while since the clerk, a large man with a navy blue shirt stretched across his body, is asleep in a chair behind the counter with a book in his hand.]

ARNOLD: Hello?

CLERK: [Even though Arnold wasn't that loud, the man sprung to life and shook violently in his chair.] WHO-YA-HAI-MI-FAHSETAHN! [He pants with his hands in the air and realizes that it's only Arnold at the counter.] Oh, sorry. What do you need, buddy?

ARNOLD: Small popcorn and a small Yahoo, no ice.

CLERK: [The man, although big and would appear to be lazy, quickly rushes through the back of him and quickly prepares Arnold's order.] Butter flavor?

ARNOLD: Yeah. Thanks.

CLERK: [Places items on the counter.] Five seventy-five.

ARNOLD: [Reaches for his money as his eyes are bulging in disbelief.] Here.

CLERK: [Takes money and hands back a quarter.] Thank you for trusting Kavols Cinemas. Next?

ARNOLD: [Turns around and slams his arm into a girl his age who was standing closely behind him, knocking the pop and popcorn out of his hand, causing them to spill onto the floor and onto the girl. The girl has long brown hair and is wearing a blue shirt with black sports pants.] Ah! Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry!

GIRL: [Looks at her shirt and spots a large brown spot from the soda.] It's okay... accidents happen.

ARNOLD: [Picks up cup and bag from popcorn.] I'm just... oh, man... oh... I am so amazingly sorry. I'm usually much more careful... [Places bag and cup back on counter.] I'm so sorry! Can I get a refill?

CLERK: [Sighs and grabs the bag and cup.] Yeah, sure...

GIRL: It's okay, really. I was standing too close to you.

ARNOLD: [Scratches the back of his neck.] Do you need a napkin or something?

GIRL: [Reaches to the counter and grabs some napkins.] No, I've got it all under control.

CLERK: [Quickly puts the items back on the counter.] Here you go sir.

ARNOLD: [Turns around and takes items.] Thanks. [He slowly turns around with the popcorn, comically avoiding another collision with the girl. She starts to laugh.] Look, I'm sorry about all of this. I really feel awful.

GIRL: Well, I easily forgive. Hey, do you go to school here because I thought I might recognize you... but I don't.

ARNOLD: Oh, no! I live... [Waves his hand about to his left.] somewhere way over there. I go to P.S. 118.

GIRL: That's why I don't recognize you, I go to P.S. 116. Do you have family here or something?

ARNOLD: Nah, my friends and me just wanted to see a movie. We rode our bikes up here.

GIRL: [Whistles.] That's a pretty big ride.

ARNOLD: Yeah. I need to go now. I'm sorry about all of this, but my movie's about to start.

GIRL: [Waves him goodbye.] Well, nice meeting ya... um...

ARNOLD: [Rushes to the door of the theatre, but turns around and waves before entering.] My name's Arnold. [Disappears in the doors.]

GIRL: [Turns to clerk.] Hi, do you have anything with Peanut Butter in it?

CLERK: We do sell peanut butter. [Pulls out a plastic tube from beneath the counter.]

GIRL: I meant candy! Who in their right mind would want just regular peanut butter?

CLERK: You'd be surprised...

SCENE: Inside the theatre with Syntax Error 2 where Arnold sits down in the middle of the front row. The last preview is running.

SCREEN: This summer... the only action-packed cartoon you can proudly say you rushed to the theatre to see is... The Adventures of Square-Guy! [Picture is of a red square on top of a building with a face drawn on it. A mask similar to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles dons his face over his eyes. The scene cuts to a quick montage of him beating down a large yellow circle with arms and legs. The theme song plays in the background: He's Square-Guy - Protector of the young and free. / Square-Guy - in the house to save you and me. Square-Guy - leavin' bad guys layin' on they back. Square-Guy - Takin' advantage of the handicapped...] An iLLfINGER production. June Fifth in theatres everywhere!

ARNOLD: Pssh! Okay...

GIRL: [Is standing right next to him unknowingly with a small bag of candy in her hand.] Excuse me...

ARNOLD: [Jumps a little in his seat.] AHH!

CROWD: Shh...

GIRL: [Whispers.] Can I sit here?

ARNOLD: [Stunned a little but nods yes.] Yeah, sure.

GIRL: Thanks... [Takes the seat right next to him.] Arnold?

ARNOLD: Yeah.

GIRL: I'm Julia. Julia Appleton.

ARNOLD: [Little annoyed but doesn't want to seem rude.] Hi.

JULIA: [Nods.] Hi.

SCENE: A montage of everything happening. It views Arnold and Julia watching the movie. One scene, Arnold is eating popcorn and Julia has her hands clenched to the armrests. Another scene, Arnold and Julia are both laughing at the screen. The next scene, a loud explosion happens that, in some inexplicable cartoon way, blows Arnold's hair back (I guess it's the air from the speakers being pumped, but I always see stuff like that in cartoons). Julia grabs at Arnold's arm, but he looks at her oddly. She realizes what she's doing and lets go. The next scene, she's steady eating away at her candy while Arnold sips at his drink. The last scene shows the light from the screen fade and the lights come back on in the theatre. Arnold and Julia get up and head for the doors.

JULIA: Oh, man; that was great! I can't wait for it to come out on video!

ARNOLD: Yeah! That was great when...

GERALD: [Quickly rushes behind him with Robert.] Hey, man! [Looks over at Julia.] Who's this?

ARNOLD: Gerald, this is Julia. Julia, this is Gerald and Robert.

JULIA: [Lifts a hand up shyly.] Hey.

ROBERT: Hi... there... okay...

GERALD: You live around here, Julie?

JULIA: Yeah, I live in the apartment complex over on the corner. [She points out as if they know where she's talking about, especially when they're still in the theatre and not looking at the actual street. Isn't that annoying?] My mom and my brother.

ARNOLD: I'm still sorry about...

JULIA: Could ya shut up about that already?

GERALD: [Starts laughing.] I think I like this one... [Pauses.] Wait a minute, I don't get it. Did I miss something earlier?

JULIA: Hey, Arnold told me you guys biked here. Do you need a ride back? I can probably get my mom to drive. Or at least I could let you use my phone.

ARNOLD: That'd be great! Thanks!

JULIA: No problem! Come on!

GERALD: [They all start walking out the door, but once outside, Gerald halts Arnold.] Hey, what was she talking about?

ARNOLD: Don't worry about it.

GERALD: [They start walking again.] But I gotta know, man! I just gotta!

ARNOLD: It's nothing really.

GERALD: Then what's the harm in telling me? Come on! [Eagerly.] Come on, come on, come on! I feel like I missing out on something!

ARNOLD: You're not, trust me.

SCENE: The boys are riding in the back of a white minivan with their bikes strapped to the back. Julia sits in the front passenger seat with her mom driving. The three all sit with their hands each held together in their laps, silent in the awkwardness. Julia turns around.

JULIA: You guys are awfully quiet.

MOTHER: [Speaks with a very tiny hint of a British accent.] Yeah, what's wrong?

ARNOLD: Oh, nothing... it's just a little too quiet.

MOTHER: Sorry about that. I would turn the radio on, but I can't get the blasted thing to work.

JULIA: We shorted something out a couple of months ago.

MOTHER: No radio, tape, nothing.

JULIA: It really bites.

ARNOLD: [All of them are blinking, still slightly confused.] Okay then.

JULIA: We can sing something if you want. [She smiles jokingly.] Do any of you know Dancing Queen?

ROBERT: [Burst out laughing, seeming to be the only one who understands why it's funny. ABBA sung Dancing Queen, one of in my opinion the worst songs ever written. The song being disco doesn't help it climb any higher on my respectability chart. He slowly starts to stop laughing and drops his head to his feet.] Sorry.

JULIA: [Giggles softly.] Offer's on the table.

ARNOLD: I'll keep that in mind.

GERALD: [Nudges Arnold and whispers.] Hey, she just smiled at me!

ARNOLD: [Whispering.] She smiled, so what?

GERALD: [Whispering.] I think she likes me, man.

ARNOLD: [Whispering.] What? Because she smiled?

GERALD: [Should I even say it?] Yeah, because she smiled! I've been feeling it all night! Look at her! Wait, she's gonna turn around again...

JULIA: What are you two whispering about?

GERALD: Nothing...

ARNOLD: Baseball.

JULIA: [Blinks in confusion.] Okay then... [Turns back to the front.]

GERALD: [Whispering.] See! She just blinked at me!

ARNOLD: [Whatever... You should know by now.] That doesn't mean anything...

GERALD: Look, I know how to read the signs. I've read up on it. She's digging me six feet! She crushin' me like Godzilla on Tokyo!

ARNOLD: What?

GERALD: Trust me... All I gotta do is act like I don't care.

ARNOLD: [Stares at Gerald.] That's the worst idea I've ever heard.

MOTHER: Well, where do you boys want to be dropped off?

ARNOLD: [Searches out the window, leans over in the seat from the middle of the back, and points up the street.] That place up there. The Sunset Arms boarding house.

JULIA: Boarding house?

ARNOLD: My grandparents own it. I live there.

JULIA: Oh... okay.

ARNOLD: It's weird.

JULIA: [Arnold pulls open the sliding van door and hops out with the rest of his friends.] This is a nice neighborhood though.

ARNOLD: It's nice.

JULIA: Well, it was nice running into you today.

ARNOLD: Yeah, I guess... I wish I could say I'll see you around, but I think we know I won't.

JULIA: Ah, we'll meet again. Bye Arnold, Robert... [Thinking.] Gerald...

ARNOLD: Bye, Julia.

ROBERT: Bye.

GERALD: [Rudely.] Yeah, see ya. [The van pulls away while Julia is waving good-bye. Gerald rushes to Arnold.] Did you just catch that? She saved my name for last... then she waved at me! I told ya, man!

ARNOLD: Gerald, she waved at all of us, and I think she actually had trouble remembering your name. [Arnold walks into the boarding house and quickly walks out.] It's about six o'clock. Maybe we should call it a day.

GERALD: Yeah, my mom should be making dinner around now. See ya, Arnold.

ROBERT: [Waves slowly.] See ya, man.

ARNOLD: Have a good night, Robert.

ROBERT: [While walking away, holds up his index finger.] You too.

ARNOLD: [Walks into the boarding house, leaving the door open, and instantly sees his grandmother chasing a moth around with a chainsaw.] Grandma seems to be doing fine... [All at once, Arnold sees the dogs and cats (including Abner) rushing down the stairs. He quickly leaps and slams the front door. All of the animals stop and start slumping back up the stairs. Abner looks back at him, teary-eyed and continues walking.] Sorry, guys. You missed your chance.

GRANDMA: [Passes by with the chainsaw.] The animals shall not rest until they are liberated, Mr. President! The animals need their freedom! (Insane cackle.)

SCENE: The next day, Arnold is at the arcade playing a video came called Car Thief 7. The screen flashes GAME OVER and Arnold regretfully walks away, only to find Gerald standing firmly two feet from behind him.

GERALD: Hi!

ARNOLD: [Jumps back a little. After he breathes, he becomes calm.] Don't do that.

GERALD: So, what about that Julia girl, huh?

ARNOLD: Gerald, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're in the fourth grade. We're too young to have girlfriends. Another thing is that she lives in the other town. We don't go to the same school, there's no way we're ever going to bump into her around town, and I don't think that she liked you.

GERALD: [Extremely glad.] Thanks, man.

ARNOLD: Thanks for what?

GERALD: You just sealed it! By saying that, you have immediately opened the door for the exact opposite to happen!

ARNOLD: [Blinking.] What?

GERALD: You just said that she won't ever go to our school, bump into us anywhere, or liked me. By saying that, you have allowed her to come into town in an odd but expected twist!

ARNOLD: When you talk about it though, doesn't that mean it's not going to happened... being that you just added more irony to the situation?

GERALD: [Slumps and smacks himself in the head. Then he snaps his fingers.] Wait a minute!

ARNOLD: Don't say it... or it won't happen.

GERALD: [Puts his hands up and shrugs.] Sorry.

ARNOLD: It's your life. [Arnold walks over to a counter with a sign over it: "CHANGE & PRIZES". Before actually reaching the counter, he reaches into his pocket but finds no money. He shrugs, then finds Gerald playing Runaway Bus 2: Bussing Through The Ages. The screen shows the bus passing through a prehistoric landscape.] Hey, Gerald, I'm just gonna go home.

GERALD: [Looks at his watch.] It's only noon! Out of money?

ARNOLD: Yeah. I don't want to borrow any in case you were going to offer...

GERALD: Oh, I wasn't.

ARNOLD: [Stares with his eyelids half-shut.] Anyway, I'm just gonna go home.

GERALD: Okay. See ya later... or tomorrow. Whichever comes first.

ARNOLD: See ya, Gerald.

GERALD: [Lifts a hand up and waves while still looking at the screen and pressing buttons.] Peace, man.

SCENE: Arnold is walking in front of Green Meats (That is such an unappetizing name for a butcher shop.) and is kicking a pop can down the street with him. Mr. Green is sweeping out in front of the store.

GREEN: Hey, Arnold.

ARNOLD: Hi, Mr. Green.

GREEN: You seem down, what's goin' on?

ARNOLD: [Lifts his head up.] Huh? Oh, nothin'.

GREEN: You look troubled.

ARNOLD: [Sighs.] I kind of am, but I don't know why. I mean it's just odd, but I feel like... I don't know.

GREEN: Ah, you're young. It's expected that you don't know. Heck, even some of us adults don't know the problems are with us. You'll soon find out. It always happens.

ARNOLD: I don't know. [Waves good-bye and walks away from the shop.] Nice seein' ya, Mr. Green.

GREEN: Yeah, you too Arnold. Don't think about it too much!

ARNOLD: [Turns and smiles.] Don't work too hard. [Turns back to his slouch. A white van then stops in front of a shop further on down the street. Julia and her mother step out.]

JULIA: Is that... hey, it's you!

ARNOLD: Hi! What... what are you doing out here?

JULIA: Shopping, what's it look like? [Turns to her mother, whose foot was almost in the shop's door.] Hey, mom, it's Arnold!

MOTHER: [Squints.] Who?

JULIA: The boy you drove home the other day...

MOTHER: Oh! Oh, right! Hi, Arnold!

ARNOLD: [Waving confusedly.] Hi... [She walks inside completely.]

JULIA: Hey, what are you doing today?

ARNOLD: [Thinks for a minute, still nerved by her showing up in his town... and that maybe Gerald had been right.] Absolutely nothing.

JULIA: Great! Wanna come to my house for dinner?

ARNOLD: [Really confused now.] Dinner?

JULIA: Yeah, my mom's making lasagna. Do you like lasagna?

ARNOLD: [Scratches his head.] Well, yeah...

JULIA: Of course! Who doesn't like lasagna? Anyway, will you?

ARNOLD: I... guess so...

JULIA: Great! Do you need to call your parents or anything? We have a cell phone in the van.

ARNOLD: Actually, I don't live too far from here.

JULIA: Oh, right, that Sunset Arms place.

ARNOLD: You know, for a person I just met yesterday, you sure remembered a lot.

JULIA: I tend to remember the little things, but usually nothing important. [Claps her hands in front of her excited.] Well, we can drive you over there and you can shop with us for the rest of the day!

ARNOLD: [Shifts his eyes across the ground, caught inside of the awkwardness.] Um... sure... okay.

MOTHER: [Walks out of shop with a large cardboard box.] All right, let's get going.

JULIA: [Opens the sliding back door for her mother.] Mom, is it okay if Arnold comes to dinner with us?

MOTHER: [Puts the box in and comes out of the car looking at Arnold, who is smiling very nervously.] Sure! Did she pressure you into coming?

ARNOLD: [Waves his hands flat and horizontally in front of him.] No, no, no; she just...

MOTHER: She's been known to do that from time to time.

JULIA: [Lightly elbows her mom.] Mom...

MOTHER: [Pats her head.] I'm just joking around.

JULIA: I also thought that he could come along with us shopping.

MOTHER: [Drops her hands to her side.] She's putting you on the leash, isn't she?

ARNOLD: [Shrugs with the nervous smile.] Heh...

JULIA: Mom!

MOTHER: Yeah, you can come along with us! Just jump in the back.

ARNOLD: Well, I don't know...

JULIA: We'll buy you a slushy!

ARNOLD: [Perks his head up like a dog at the sound of a whistle.]

SCENE: Arnold walks into Julia's house with a red slush, halfway finished, in his left hand and two paper bags with handles in the other. The house is an apartment. The kitchen and dining room are the same area and reach right into the living room. A small area behind the kitchen that could've been a closet in the boarding house has three doors on each side of it. Arnold observes around while Julia and her mother carry the rest of the bags inside. Arnold follows them to the kitchen table and sets the bags atop of it.

JULIA: This is the kitchen, that's the living room, and over here are my mom's room, my room, and the bathroom.

ARNOLD: [Nods.] Uh-huh... [The kitchen is all white - everything is a shade of white except for the table and cupboards under the counter. The living room walls were a light gray with a maroon-burgundy carpet. An off-white couch and large green chair crowd around an old Zenith TV console (Big, wooden frame / large TV in between two speakers / looks like there are drawers underneath the screen but there aren't) that holds a small boombox on top of it.] It's nice...

JULIA: Come on. My mom's just gonna be cooking dinner. Let's go see my room.

ARNOLD: Okay... [She moves and grabs his wrist with her.]

SCENE: School the next day. Arnold is doing work while everyone else does the same thing, but most while having other friends scoot up and talk to them. Gerald pulls up next to Arnold.

GERALD: Hey, I was thinking of that Julie girl the...

ARNOLD: [Slams pencil down.] Enough, Gerald!

GERALD: What? What'd I do?

ARNOLD: [Rubs a hand across his forehead.] I went and saw her yesterday.

GERALD: What? [Pauses.] Awwwwwwwwww...

ARNOLD: No! No, it's nothing like that! I actually met her in town shopping.

GERALD: Yeah, sure ya did. What did she say about me?

ARNOLD: Nothing! But she remembered my name, where I lived...

GERALD: Sounds like you've got a crush on your hands.

ARNOLD: I don't like her, Gerald.

GERALD: No, not like that. I mean that she likes you.

ARNOLD: I know you meant that.

GERALD: Then what's the problem?

ARNOLD: I don't know... It's kind of scary... This hasn't ever happened before. [Spitball hits the back of his head.] Ah! Helga! [Turns in his chair.]

HELGA: [Hands behind her head.] What?

ARNOLD: [Turns back.] I don't think it's that though. Us meeting again was really coincidental, but for some reason not.

GERALD: Don't tell me you're thinking it was destined or something.

ARNOLD: No, it was like... she planned it. As if the whole reason she was in town was to see me.

GERALD: Why would you think that?

ARNOLD: Because she really had no reason to be in town. Why couldn't she shop in her city?

GERALD: That's not what I meant. Why would you think anybody would travel that distance to see you? I mean, no offense, but you're no prize. You've got the football-head, the big round nose, the small hat goin' on, the weird hair...

ARNOLD: [Sarcastically.] Thank you so much, Gerald.

GERALD: While I am what would you would call a rare specimen. Look at me: how many other kids in this city have as much as style as me?

ARNOLD: [Pauses, but still a bit bitter.] Gee, not many...

GERALD: That's right.

ARNOLD: It seems she followed me. Who would be... [The class bell rings and everyone stands up.] Well, I'll see you later. I've got some chores to do around the house.

GERALD: All right, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Have a nice day, man.

ARNOLD: You too.

SCENE: Arnold is walking into the boarding house. While he is closing the door, the animals stop running down the stairs and back up, once again denied their freedom.

ARNOLD: You're getting slow! Come on, guys!

GRANDPA: [Just walks into the picture from Arnold's right.] Hey there, Short Man. How's it going?

ARNOLD: Good. I... [Narrows his eyes.] What do you need from my room?

GRANDPA: [Falls to his knees.] Oh, Arnold! Can I please borrow your CD player? I ordered this Hits of 20's CD off of the TV and I forgot to ask for it in vinyl! Please, please! [Grabs Arnold's ankles and starts sobbing.]

ARNOLD: [Smiles and pats his Grandpa's head.] Yeah, hold on.

GRANDPA: [Jumps up and hugs him.] Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Now I'll be able to relive those wonderful childhood memories of mine... like when Jimmy and me had that fight... or when my dog Pooter died... or the time when my father... [He throws his hands up and walks away.] Forget about it, I won't need it. I'm just gonna go sleep.

ARNOLD: [Smiles.] Goodnight, Grandpa.

GRANDPA: [Mumbling as he walks away.] Ah, won't be anything good about it, I'll just wake up later...

ARNOLD: [Turns at the sound of a knock at the door. He goes to answer it and Julia is standing on his stoop with the white van behind her.] Julia! [As soon as he says it, the animals go passing by his legs and out the door.] What are you doing here?

JULIA: Hi! What are you doing today?

ARNOLD: I was... nothing. I was doing absolutely nothing.

JULIA: Well, my mom scored us some tickets for the demolition derby. I wanted to know if you and your friends wanted to come.

ARNOLD: [Eerie music starts to play and Arnold's eyes shift about.] I'd... have to call them...

JULIA: [Cocks her head.] I thought they lived here with you.

ARNOLD: Oh, no. Gerald lives a bit over and so does Robert.

JULIA: Well, we can wait. [Turns to her mom and flashes a thumbs up, and then holds up one index finger to signal she needs a minute. She turns back to Arnold.] Can I come in?

ARNOLD: Yeah, sure...

JULIA: [Walks in past Arnold.] Wow, this place is pretty nice. Your grandparents own this place?

ARNOLD: [Closes the door.] Yeah... I have to use the phone...

JULIA: Okay. [Starts up the stairs and looking the at the pictures on the walls.] Is this you as a baby?

ARNOLD: [Rushing to the phone.] Yeah! Sure is!

JULIA: Aww, you were so cute!

ARNOLD: [Quickly dials the phone. He cringes and tugs at his collar.] Thank you?

SCENE: The phone conversation switches back and forth from each person at their house, but it starts with Gerald.

GERALD: [Approaching the ringing phone.] I'll get it! [Picks up the receiver.] Hello?

ARNOLD: She's here?

GERALD: Arnold? Who's there?

ARNOLD: Julia. She's at my house. She wants to know if we all want to go to a demolition derby tonight. She has tickets, her mom's here with the van, and she wants you and Robert to come with us.

GERALD: See? I knew she couldn't wait to see me again! She probably couldn't stop...

ARNOLD: [Whispers these sentences to not be heard by Julia.] Could you get over yourself for a second or two? This is creeping me out! She showed up at my door unannounced and I'm just clueless for a reason why.

JULIA: [Up from the stairs.] Who's this guy in the picture with squinty eyes? Your father? He doesn't look like you.

ARNOLD: [Puts a hand over the phone.] That's another boarder in the house; that's Mr. Hyunh.

JULIA: Oh...

ARNOLD: [Back on the phone.] I can't say no to this girl, so you have to come with us.

GERALD: I don't know, Arnold. Mom's makin' casserole tonight...

ARNOLD: Gerald!

GERALD: Yeah, I'll be over there in about five minutes. I'll bring Robert on my way over.

ARNOLD: How do you know if he's not busy?

GERALD: It's Robert, man. He won't be busy. See ya, Arnold.

ARNOLD: See ya. [Hangs up the phone.] They'll be over here in about five minutes or so.

JULIA: Great. [Walks down the stairs.] Hey, who's the bald guy with the beard?

ARNOLD: I didn't know there's a picture of Mr. Kokoshka up there.

JULIA: Oh, there isn't. He's raiding your fridge.

ARNOLD: [Stomps away off screen into the kitchen, leaving Julia watching from the living room.] Mr. Kokoshka!

OSKAR: Heh-heh...

SCENE: Julia, without her mom in a chair anywhere near her, is sitting in the crowd with Gerald, Arnold, and Robert (In this order from left to right - R, J, A, G). A white car with red racing stripes is pummeling into the side of a dark red car with it's motor sticking out of the hood. I know there's a name for it but I can't recall it.

JULIA: [Yelling to the center ring.] YEAH! GET HIM! CRUNCH HIM! MANGLE HIM UNTIL HIS OWN MOTHER CAN'T IDENTIFY HIM! RIP HIM APART! [Turns to Arnold.] Isn't this fun?

ARNOLD: [Keeping his arms as far away from anything as possible. He's just keeping to himself.] Yeah, this is great.

JULIA: Are you having a good time, Gerald?

GERALD: [Still pretending not to care.] I guess so.

JULIA: Robert?

ROBERT: [Waving his fist and shouting.] MAKE HIM WISH HE WAS NEVER BORN, RED CAR! MAKE HIM RUN BACK TO HIS MOM WITH HIS TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS!

JULIA: [Puts up a fist and shouts.] WHOOOOO!

ROBERT: THAT GUY'S A PANSY! PUSH HIS FACE IN THE DIRT!

GERALD: [Nudges Arnold.] Come on, man, and lighten up!

ARNOLD: I don't think you're really the person to talk.

GERALD: Look, my strategy is to stay isolated to build my mystique - sooner or later she'll come around.

ARNOLD: Sure.

SCENE: The van is stopped in front of the boarding house. It's dark outside and all of the lights are on. Julia's mom has already dropped off Gerald and Robert. Arnold and Julia are standing outside.

ARNOLD: Well, thanks for coming out today...

JULIA: Oh, no problem. We should do it more often.

ARNOLD: [Pauses.] Julia, we just...

JULIA: Hey! My friend Darrel is having a party next week. It's his birthday and his family invites all of his friends. Do you wanna come?

ARNOLD: But I don't know who Darrel is.

JULIA: Yeah, but I do. He wouldn't mind if I brought you guys along.

ARNOLD: [Takes a deep breath.] You mean it would be you, Gerald, Robert, and me?

JULIA: Why not?

ARNOLD: Well, you should've asked them while you had the chance. I mean, I don't know if they'll want to go out tomorrow.

JULIA: [Shrugs.] Oh... well, then... I guess just you and me could go... Would that be a problem?

ARNOLD: Well, it wouldn't be a problem but it would...

JULIA: Great! Tomorrow, I'll be here at five o'clock. [Leans in and hugs him. Backs off and waves.] Bye! [Runs back into the van. Arnold steps into his house backwards as the van takes off. He's about to close the door, but he sees all of the animals outside slowly moving up the steps. They seem very exhausted.]

ARNOLD: Little too much freedom, eh? [He smiles. Abner the pig seems to nod yes as they slump inside.] I'm sorry, guys. [His happiness quickly shifts to disappointment. The entire boarding house is down stairs and in their pajamas.]

GRANDPA: Arnold! Where've you been?

ARNOLD: What time is it?

GRANDPA: It's almost... [Looks at his wrist.] Eh... ah... it's almost... eleven o'clock! You should've been in bed a while ago!

ERNIE: Yeah, and Old Yeller here been keeping all of us awake until you came home. Now that you're here, I'm going to bed! [Goes up the stairs.]

GRANDPA: Where were you?

ARNOLD: I sorry I didn't say where I was going and I'm sorry for being home so late. It'll never happen again, but I am really tired right now. Anything you want to know I can tell you tomorrow.

GRANDPA: [Scratches his head.] Hey, during that long period of talking, did you say anything about where you were?

ARNOLD: I went to a demolition derby with friends. I'm sorry, Grandpa. It won't happen again. Goodnight. [Trudges up stairs.]

GRANDPA: [Turns to everyone else and claps his hands together.] Okay, time for bed!

OSKAR: It is about stinking time!

HYUNH: Yes!

SCENE: Arnold is tossing and turning in bed while dreaming. This is the dream. Arnold is sitting in school when a student taps his desk from across the isle. He looks up and sees Julia.

JULIA: Hey, what are you doing after school? [Another hand reaches and taps him on the opposing shoulder. He turns to find Julia again.] Do you want to hang out or something? [He looks and the whole class is filled with Julia. The teacher is Julia. The teacher walks over and slams a yardstick on his desk.] Wanna come over for dinner?

ARNOLD: AHHH! [He runs out of the classroom and into the boys' bathroom. He reaches one of the sinks and grips it with both hands. He starts panting until he looks in the mirror to see behind him.]

JULIA: Hi, Arnold.

ARNOLD: AHHHH! [He bolts out of the bathroom and heads out of the school. He grabs his bike and starts peddling wildly down the street. He brakes when he sees a giant gap in the middle of the road and sprays a puddle he stops in all over. He turns to his right to see Julia tugging at her clothes.]

JULIA: Oh, my shirt!

ARNOLD: AHHHH! [He turns around on the bike and starts peddling down the alleyways. He finds a dead end at the end of one alley. He reaches for a fire escape ladder and starts climbing up. He goes inside of a window and runs through the hallways. He goes down a set of stairs to find another hallway. He stops to breathe with his hands at his knees... when two hands grab his shoulders.]

JULIA: Oh, man, has it been a long time since I saw you.

ARNOLD: Get off me! [He throws her away and rushes down the hallway with her chasing after him. As she's running, she seems to morph into somewhat of a monkey. She jumps and wraps her paws around his neck and take him down to the ground.] Get off of me! Get off of me! [In real life, Grandpa and Grandma stand in Arnold's room watching him shake.] Get off of me... Get off of me...

GRANDMA: Shouldn't we wake him up?

GRANDPA: Nah, the boy's fine. We'll wait for him to do out of his own accord.

ARNOLD: [Mumbling.] Get off of me, you ape... get off of muh... [Shoots up out of bed and starts panting, widely awake.]

GRANDPA: [Walks to Arnold.] Oh, Arnold, we heard you and came up here as fast as we could! Are you all right? Were you having a nightmare?

GRANDMA: Do you need something to dull the pain, soldier?

ARNOLD: What? Huh? [Looks around and quickly falls back on the mattress.] No, I'm fine.

GRANDMA: That's what they say about the war: you never stop dreaming about it.

GRANDPA: Could you shut up, Pookie? [Tucks Arnold back into bed.] I'm sorry about you having a nightmare and all and I wish there were something I could do about it.

GRANDMA: We could always break open the liquor cabinet...

GRANDPA: Pookie! [Back to Arnold.] Anyway... what was I talking about? Oh yeah! Never let a blind man cut your hair. I'm living proof of that mistake. Sweet dreams, Arnold. [Pats his head and slips down the stairs with Grandma. Arnold is left with himself in his dark room staring out of the skylight. He quickly falls back asleep.]

SCENE: Gerald and Robert get on the bus with baggy eyes. Gerald sits with Arnold, he too is baggy-eyed, and Robert sits behind them.

GERALD: [Calmly and discreetly.] I have never been so tired in my entire life. When I get home from school today, it's right back to that bed.

ROBERT: Same here.

ARNOLD: I know the feeling. She wants me to go to a birthday party today.

GERALD: She might as well strap you on a leash and name you Fido.

ARNOLD: She wants all of us to go.

GERALD: What?

ROBERT: [Raises a hand.] I can go...

GERALD: You've gotta stop this, Arnold. This is cutting into not only your social life, but mine as well.

ARNOLD: I know, but I can't find a way to let her off. It seems that she's just... I can't say no to her.

GERALD: That excuse is getting old, man. Just slam the foot down. Get that monkey off your back, man!

ROBERT: I can go with you...

ARNOLD: You're right. I know you're right. [Slams a fist into his palm.] I gotta make a stand against this...

GERALD: Oh, shut up. It's too early for that stuff.

ROBERT: [Leans on the back of Arnold's seat.] Hey, I can go with you.

ARNOLD: [Looks up and pats Robert's head.] We know, Rob. We know.

SCENE: Arnold is standing in his room in front of a mirror with dramatic Western music playing. He fixes the collar of his shirt that pokes through the sweater. He straightens it as if there was a tie... though there is no tie... and combs his hair out. He then squints his eyes and turns the blue hat backwards. A doorbell is heard and he sighs deeply. He looks back in the mirror and puts the hat forwards again.

GRANDPA: [From the bottom of the stairs.] Arnold! Some girl's here for ya!

ARNOLD: [Tugs at the shirt collar one last time and heads down to the front door. He opens and Julia is standing there.] Julia.

JULIA: Ready to go?

ARNOLD: We need to end this before it goes anywhere.

JULIA: I know.

ARNOLD: You see... what?

JULIA: I thought you wanted to keep hanging out with me.

ARNOLD: What gave you that idea?

JULIA: I don't know, it felt that you kept... looking at me this certain way. I just couldn't let you down.

ARNOLD: Well, actually, I've been miserable ever since I met you.

JULIA: Same here.

ARNOLD: Hmm... well, this went easier then I expected. A lot faster too.

JULIA: What? Did you expect some big, sappy break-up or something?

ARNOLD: No... I expected more than this though.

JULIA: Well, sorry. [They are both looking at the ground wondering what to do next.] Still wanna go to that party?

ARNOLD: [Smiles and offers a hand to shake.] You couldn't drag me there.

JULIA: [Smiles and shakes his hand.] Glad to hear it. Hey, where does that Gerald kid live?

ARNOLD: Huh? [Steps back and waves a hand in front of his face.] Wait a minute; wait a minute. Have you been taking me out to get to Gerald?

JULIA: Well, he does have this mystique about him. It seems as if he just doesn't care about anything, but deep inside...

ARNOLD: Okay, I get it. He lives a few blocks over. Look for the mailbox that reads Johansson. It's not hard to miss.

JULIA: Thanks. I won't forget you, Ernest.

ARNOLD: That's Arnold.

JULIA: [Slaps herself in the forehead.] Right, Arnold. I won't forget you, Arnold.

ARNOLD: And I'll try my hardest to forget you.

JULIA: Aw, that's so sweet. [Kisses him on the cheek and skips down the steps.] Sorry for manipulating you for my own selfishness!

ARNOLD: Sorry for spilling my pop on you! [Julia walks away into the van and drives off down the street.] I am so glad that is over. [Opens the door and all the animals fly out immediately.] That's the spirit! Go! Go!

SCENE: On the bus the next morning, Gerald takes a seat next to Arnold. His eyes are baggy and red.

ARNOLD: What happened to you?

GERALD: That girl came over to my house. After we went to that birthday party, she called me up and would not hang up with me.

ARNOLD: Well, these days and age a young boy should be proud when a girl has a crush on him. It looks like you were right and all.

GERALD: Yeah, but I don't like her.

ARNOLD: Neither do I, Gerald... Neither do I. [Pats his back.]

GERALD: Get off of me.

FINISH: The bus speeds down the street as the "camera" pans out to the city. Fade to black, "Executive Producer - Craig Bartlett", and roll the rest of the credits. Blah, blah, blah; yada, yada, yada. What else is on? Ooh, Saturday Night Live! Is Norm McDonald in it? Is he? Is he? Come on, Don Pardo! Yes! Norm McDonald! Whooo! Whooo! Ah, this one sucks. Oh, crap. I'm still typing. Sorry. Well, tell me what you think... sign a review... you're wasting perfectly good review time here...

All rights reserved. ©Shaun Blankenship. Used with permission.