Leather Bob

I started out as most other stuffed animals do, that is to say instead of born; I was created. I was cut out and sewn and put onto a shelf for public consumption. But little did they know I was never going to be for public consumption again. For I was created in a way that no other stuffed plaything had ever been. I had thoughts and feelings, AND a sexual orientation that would render me as unfit for the neutered child’s plaything I was made to be.

I was packed and shipped and then found myself on a shelf next to rows of vacuous looking creatures whose sole purpose was to be eventually someone’s plaything. But I could not help but dream after the lights had gone out during the evening that my purpose would eventually be found. Then one day it happened.

"OMIGOD will you just look at that? She’ll just love him."

I heard the voices of two of the female of the large plushless race approaching the shelf. Very often they tended to get themselves into this sort of state when approaching the shelf. Then they stood before it, but instead of plucking out one of the multitude of tiringly vacant companions I had been housed with- they chose me.

No sooner had they whisked me from my captivity on the shelf than they started to approach a rack of what they term as being "clothes" and soon my wonderful soft plushy self into something which was black, shiny and restrictive. They buttoned pants onto my legs and then took them off again. We went up to a counter where an older female looked at them disdainfully as they placed me on the counter and asked in a tone as cold as ice "Did you try those pants ON that monkey?"

"Yes!" they both chimed, and soon I was put into a bag and taken out of the store and in an eating area. Then the two of them giggling like fiends proceeded to put the different clothes on me and then decided on the first black outfit.

We left the shopping area and went over to the apartment of one of the plushless ones. Inside I was presented to a smaller, quiet plushless female who took one look at me, covered her mouth and uttered "Oh my…" I was then put into a dark box to await my fate.

After what seemed like an eternity inside the suffocating darkness, I was sure that I would never again get out, but then I sensed movement of the small prison. Soon I could hear that the sounds of the apartment had changed and was sure that we were in a new home.

Soon the box was opened and as my eyes adjusted to the light I could start making things out in the room. First thing that came into focus was a large pink flamingo in bondage gear suspended from the ceiling. Oh no I had fallen in with some weird cult!!!! What diabolical things would they have planned for me?

Then I saw faces of more plushless females. A loud red headed one in some odd head decoration was then pulling me out of the box shrieking "Oh my god! He’s PERFECT" and laughing. I guessed by the demeanor and headdress she must be a leader of some sort. Soon I was placed in an area where I could see all the proceedings. To my horror- they had soon beaten that poor flamingo with some sort of ritual stick and then ripped him apart like a pack of wolves. I was among animal sacrificers, I was sure. They had given me a new identity "Leather Bob".

Surprisingly, no harm came to me and life soon slipped into a nice lull. I was shelved again, but this time it was next to two incredibly nice and attractive Jedi. Who unfortunately only had eyes for each other. But then I was taken from that shelf and to a new place filled with plushless beings and computers. I was introduced to all the females who fawned over me admiringly; especially the one who really seemed to understand me.

Life there moved from one day to another, then there was a move of the beings and then out of the corner he had previously inhabited he came into my view. The one I would love forever. My be-spectacled Adonis. The tall one… Never before had my simian heart felt such an overwhelming urge to throw myself at any beings feet. Curse my clothen legs that I could not move.

Soon he came my way and picked me up. Oh I was sure I would faint from the excitement. He regarded me for a while then said to the loud red head "I don’t even WANT to know." And walked off. "Leather Bob seems to like you…" she said as he returned to his desk, put on his headphones and tried his best to ignore me. Oh how could that tall lean creature, that specimen of plushless beauty, not feel what I did? I vowed then to make him mine.

Scenes change sometimes and then mine did for the better. When the office moved, my red head was sat facing the programming god and she sat me facing him on her monitor. Late at night, which I would affectionately refer to as "our time" it would be him and I. I would watch in silence as he sat staring into the glowing screen. How to tell him how I felt? My wish was answered when the red head attached a note to me "I can see you". He looked up at me for the first time in months and laughed.

Then tragedy hit when I was once again moved away from my life, my love, my be-spectacled Adonis of programming; but not before leaving him one final note "I can still see you". Suprisingly, when he saw it he flew into a rage, pulled the note for the computer saying "Damn MONKEY!!!" Those words stung, but I knew he was just hurt from our separation as well.

As the office returned to normal, with the females fawning over me. Leaving me thoughtful gifts and making me pretty for the attentions of my piece of programming pulchritude. In the meantime, he had struck up a friendship with the loud red head and I knew she spent some time with him outside the office. My heart knew that nothing was going on… but I was so jealous I couldn’t see straight. I hated her, as I loved him. But at least I still got to see him often and still got to share "Our time" from my distance.

The rumours of his discontent with me then began to surface. He thought I was obsessed and wished me harm. But I knew it was not true. It couldn’t be. Even when he told the other males to shoot at me with their foam dart weaponry and the females would come to my defense, I knew it was only his malcontent du to our separation as well. Then tragedy struck. The red head was no longer employed at that office and I was taken back to her apartment. I still saw him occasionally when he came by to see the red head and watch TV. But he had forgotten about me… about his Leather Bob. So one night when he came by to pick her up to go to a party I made my move and threw myself into her bag and went with them.

At the party I could overhear everything. Soon the conversation veered toward me. Then I heard the words that forever shattered my world "I hated that stupid monkey"

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, then I heard the red head chide him "What do you mean? He loved you…"

"He was obsessed with me…"

"Hah… It was just a stuffed animal… he had no real feelings…"

I was destroyed. Totally and utterly destroyed. He didn’t love me. He hated me… I was shattered. I fell into a deep depression. Nothing would ever replace my life long love for the tall, lean, beautiful, programming god. Just when I found it almost unbearable to keep on the stitched in smile, the red head then came home with someone who really did understand me. "Leather Bob, I want you to meet Glitter Ted".

He was perfection in glitter. A beauty incomparable to anything I have ever seen. My heart was healed and saved. I was in love again. He also loves me.

Now we sit next to each other hand in hand on a book self for all eternity I hope.

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