AUTHOR'S NOTES: For detailed notes and disclaimers, see part one
It was fair to say that if the others had worried about Nicole since she came back to the School of the Arts, it didn't get any better over the next couple of days. If anything, she was even worse than she'd been before. The scene with Leroy had come sooner than she'd expected, and while she thought she'd been prepared it for, she realised she hadn't been. It had all she'd been able to do to stay calm when she was in his appartment - after she'd left, she'd walked most of the way home with tears running down her cheeks.
She had been so close to admitting the truth - so close to ruining everything. When he was talking about what they'd agreed on New Year's morning...
"NICOLE!" Miss Grant's voice snapped Nicole out of her reverie. It was evident from the teacher's voice and demeanour that this wasn't the first time she'd called her student.
"I'm sorry Miss Grant. What did you say?"
"I was telling you that I need you to stay behind tomorrow to walk you through the routine for The Heat is on in Saigon, you're going to need to know it."
Nicole nodded. "No problem." She was aware that the rest of the cast were looking at her strangely. That was something she'd gotten used to in the month she'd been back.
Seeing that Nicole hadn't heard any of what was going on at this rehearsal, and that everyone else clearly knew it, Miss Grant took pity on her. "And Mr Shorofsky and Cassidy would like to hear you and Reggie sing your duet."
"I Still Believe?"
"Precisely Miss Chapman, precisely," Mr Shorofsky entered the conversation. "And I cannot wait to hear it."
"Where's Reggie?" asked Miss Grant, looking around.
"She went to see Mr Seeger about her assignment for drama," Maxie spoke up.
"Oh then..well Nicole, why don't you run through your part of the duet for us, we can work on the rest of it later" Miss Grant suggested.
Mr Shorofsky began to play as Nicole began to sing. As always, Miss Grant was amazed at the power of her voice, and the emotion she conveyed.
Last night I watched him sleeping
My body pressed to him
And then he started speaking
The name I heard him speak...was Kim
Yes I know that this was years ago
But when moonlight fills my room I know
You are here... still
I still
I still believe
You will return
I know you will
My heart
Against all odds
Holds still
Yes, still
I still believe
I know as long as I can keep believing, I'll live
I'll live
Love cannot die
You will return
You will return
And I alone know why
She stopped when she got there, as this was the part where Reggie was supposed to come in. "Lovely Miss Chapman, just lovely." It was one of Mr Shorofsky's more oft-uttered phrases these days, he was surprised at how good Nicole and Ian were, especially Nicole.
"Do you want to go through it again, until Reggie comes?" Nicole asked.
What Shorofsky was about to reply was never known, since Mrs Berg came in. "Nicole," she called. "I have a note for you." She took her time coming up the aisle, while Nicole waited for her patiently on the stage. "I was told to give you this message straight away, that it was very important..." She noticed Nicole frowning slightly. "Your father said you'd understand."
"My FATHER?" Nicole exclaimed.
"Why yes," Mrs Berg finally, far too slowly in Nicole's opinion, reached the foot of the stage and handed her the note, which Nicole snatched from her and read frantically.
When she looked up again, her eyes focussed on Miss Grant. "Miss Grant, something's come up... I have to go..." She was already backing away to get her bag.
"Is everything ok Nicole?"
"I just have to go." Nicole didn't give a backward glance as she ran out of the auditorium.
After rehearsal, Ian and Jesse waited in the foyer for Reggie and Maxie to come out of the changing room. There was only one topic of conversation on their minds - Nicole.
"Did you see the look on her face when she ran out of the auditorium?" Jesse asked. "I've never seen her look like that."
"I've never seen anyone look like that," Ian replied. "She looked terrified."
Jesse shook his head. "I don't care what anyone says. There's something wrong there. Seriously wrong."
"Talking about Nicole again?" Maxie and Reggie came up behind him.
"You heard then?" Ian addressed Reggie, ignoring Maxie's comment.
"Yeah, Maxie told me. Is it true?" Reggie didn't for a moment believe that Maxie was making anything up, rather that she wanted to make sure she wasn't putting an unwelcome spin on things.
"Yeah, she got that note and was out of there like a bat out of hell," Ian summarised.
"Something's wrong," Jesse repeated his earlier assertion. "If we could just find out what's in the note..."
A light came into Reggie's eyes as she looked down the hall. "Maybe there is...."
Poor Mrs Berg never knew what hit her as the four students converged on her at once, with Reggie taking the lead. "Mrs Berg," she said. "I was wondering if you can help us."
"Why anything Reggie, you know that."
"You see, we all heard about the note, and how Nicole ran out of the auditorium, and we're really worried about her."
"Oh, I know." Mrs Berg was all sympathy. "The poor girl looked just so frightened..."
"So we were wondering if there was anything we could do to help her, and we tried to phone her house, but there was no-one home..." Reggie crossed her fingers behind her back against the blatant falsehood, and reminded herself she was doing it for a good cause. "So we were wondering if there was any way you knew where she was...."
"How would I know?" Mrs Berg, as often happened, was genuinely mystified.
Jesse had, by now, figured out where Reggie was going with this. "We were hoping that you might be able to tell us what the note said."
"Well, I'm not so sure that would be right...."
"Please Mrs Berg?" Reggie was at her most winsome. "We're just so worried, and we really want to help...I'm sure Nicole wouldn't mind..." Behind her, all three were also looking rather winsome, a fact not lost on Mrs Berg.
"Well, all right then." She lowered her voice as if there was someone around to hear them. "Mr Chapman was very specific, and he kept the message very short. He said that Sarah was in City Hospital, and could she get over there as soon as she could. And that she'd understand."
"That's it?" Jesse asked.
"That's the whole thing." Mrs Berg was very definite. "I hope it helps."
She walked off and the four looked at each other, perplexed. "Who's Sarah?" Reggie asked the question for them.
"And why is she in hospital?" Maxie continued. "Hey, where are you going?"
Jesse was already halfway down the hall. "City Hospital. Coming?"
The others followed him out.
"Well, we're at City Hospital. Where do we go now?" Ian asked.
"How about there?" Reggie pointed at the reception desk.
"Might be good." Ian replied. Jesse was already on his way, as Maxie looked after him with a frown.
"Hi." He fixed the receptionist with his most charming grin. "I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm looking for a friend of mine, Nicole Chapman?"
The receptionist looked unimpressed by his charm. "You family?"
Jesse gulped. "I'm her brother."
The receptionist narrowed her eyes. "Uh-huh?" Her skepticism was like a third person in the conversation.
"OK." Jesse took a deep breath and tried sincerity as a ploy. "Look, I'm not her brother. None of us are blood relations. But we're all really close friends...the next best thing to family. Please, can't you check?"
For a wonder, it worked. "I didn't tell you this..." the receptionist muttered as she consulted her computer screen. "...nope, no Nicole Chapman. We do have a Sarah Chapman though." At this news, four pairs of eyes looked hopeful. "She's in - "
"Jesse, Ian!" A familiar voice exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
Jesse turned, and what the receptionist was about to say was never heard. Nicole's mother was right behind them, three styrofoam cups in her hands, obviously on her way from the cafeteria across the hall. "Mrs Chapman, hi!"
Mrs Chapman's eyes were narrowed, her expression closed. It was a sight all too familiar to Jesse. He'd seen her look like that at him way too many times when he and Nicole were dating. "How did you know to come here?" she asked suspiciously.
Reggie stepped forward, knowing that Mrs Chapman had always liked her - or at least tolerated her more than she had Jesse. "We were worried about Nicole when she ran out of rehearsal...we found out where she was, so we came over. To see if we could do anything to help."
"Nicole didn't tell you she was here?"
Reggie exchanged a glance with the others. "No." She paused, watching to see how Mrs Chapman reacted to that, and saw a guarded expression pass over the woman's face. "Can we see her?"
Mrs Chapman hesitated for a long time before she responded. When she did, she took a deep breath before she spoke. "I'll tell Nicole you're here. But I can't promise anything." As she spoke, Jesse realised he had never heard her sound so tired...so old. "Why don't you wait here?"
They waited for fifteen minutes when finally, Nicole came down. When they saw her, they each had to fight back a gasp. If anything, she looked worse than they had ever seen her look before. Hands in her pockets, her shoulders slumped forward, she looked broken. Her hair was unkempt, as if she had been continually running her hands through it, and there were dark circles under her red-rimmed eyes.
"Oh my God," Reggie murmured quietly. She couldn't imagine what would make Nicole look like that.
"Hi guys," was all that Nicole could say.
Whether that was all she was capable of saying, or all she was actually able to say wasn't quite clear, as Jesse, half out of his mind with worry already and completely unnerved by Nicole's appearance, wasn't able to stay quiet any longer. "What's wrong with you Nicki?" he burst out, and continued with all the other questions he'd been dying to ask. "What are you doing here? Who's Sarah? Why have you been so distant since you came back?...."
"Steady on mate." Ian tried to interrupt him in the middle of that diatribe, seeing Nicole unravel even further before their eyes.
It looked as if Jesse could keep going, but Maxie silenced him, as Nicole began to sob. "Shut up Jesse." Her voice cut across his, and silenced him and everyone else. As she looked at Nicole, and considered everything that had been going on recently, everything had become very clear to Maxie. She was convinced now that she knew what was going on with Nicole, and Jesse was right - it was serious. She stared at Nicole as if everyone else in the room had just disappeared, and Nicole, for her part, was staring speechless at her too. She knew well how Maxie felt about her - support from her was unexpected to say the least.
Maxie looked at Nicole, really looked, for the first time since she'd met her. "I'm right aren't I?" she asked, unnecessarily. Nicole didn't respond, but her tears spoke as clearly as words could have. "Oh my God." Maxie's voice was the most sincere it had ever been when she talked about Nicole, all trace of bitterness gone. When she spoke again, she sounded much older than her years, and she stepped forward and pulled Nicole into a hug. "You poor kid."
Reggie, Ian and Jesse stared at each other, and both guys saw the proverbial lightbulb go on over Reggie's head at the same time. Her hands went up to her mouth in disbelief as she turned her gaze to Maxie and Nicole, locked in a tight embrace as Nicole sobbed. "Oh my God," Reggie muttered again. "Oh my God Nicole" She joined them in a three way hug as the guys looked on.
"Did we miss something?" Ian wondered aloud.
Nicole staightened up and wiped her eyes, as the other two looked wordlessly at her, asking without words if she was alright. At Ian's question, she smiled slightly.
Jesse caught the smile. "What is going on here?" he asked.
"Why don't we get a cup of coffee and we'll tell you," Maxie led them all into the cafeteria where they each got a cup of something that vaguely - very vaguely, as far as most of them were concerned - resembled coffee. They sat at a table, Nicole with Reggie and Maxie on either side of her, Jesse and Ian at the other side of the table.
"OK," Jesse said when they were all sitting down. "We're waiting. Why are we here? And who's Sarah?"
Reggie and Maxie looked at Nicole, knowing that this was her story to tell, not theirs. A hopeful sign, as far as they were concerned, was that there were no tears from Nicole this time.
Nicole paused, gathering her courage. She took a sip of her coffee, barely even tasting it, which was probably a mercy she reflected. She put the cup back down, took a deep breath, then spoke the words that she'd hoped she'd never have to say.
"Sarah...is my daughter."
In another time and place she realised, she would have laughed at the expression on Ian and Jesse's faces. If they were on a tv show they couldn't have done the slack-jawed speechless look better.
"Your WHAT???" Ian was the first to speak, and immediately looked long and hard at Jesse.
Jesse correctly interpreted the look. "Don't look at me!" he protested, then turned his attention back to Nicole. "You have a daughter?"
Nicole nodded, feeling Maxie and Reggie squeeze each arm in support. "Her name is Sarah. And she'll be six months old in April." She could see Jesse and Ian frantically counting back, and decided to spare them the trouble. "There was no professional acting gig in Florida," she said quietly. "Just my father's sister, who agreed to let me live with her."
"You mean you were pregnant when you left?" Ian was trying to get this all straight in his head.
As Nicole nodded, Jesse asked the next logical question. "Who's the father?"
Nicole shook her head. "It's not important." At Jesse's look, she elaborated. "He wasn't a student at our school." She took another sip of coffee before she went on. "Anyway...when I left the school, I was two months pregnant. I didn't want anyone to know...and my parents thought I might give the baby up, so no-one would ever have to know...and I went to Florida, to live with my aunt..and she was born on the fourth of October, my beautiful baby girl..." Her voice trailed off as tears overcame her.
"Were you planning to have her adopted?" Jesse asked, not understanding why she hadn't.
Nicole shook her head. "Not once I saw her." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "I couldn't."
"Didn't you think of...y'know...." Maxie couldn't quite bring herself to ask the question, but Nicole knew what she meant, and answered honestly.
"No. My mother was fifteen when she had me..." The look on Maxie's face betrayed her surprise, and forced a smile out of Nicole. "Not that mother, my other mother. I'm adopted." Maxie nodded and Nicole continued. "Anyway, I just kept thinking, what if she'd had an abortion? I wouldn't be here. And the more I thought like that, the more I knew I'd never be able to do it."
"Nicole," Reggie's voice was gentle. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because I didn't want anyone to know."
"And you thought you could keep it a secret?" Ian was still having trouble with this.
Nicole sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking. I guess...once I'd kept it a secret this long, it was so hard to tell people...guess what, I've got a baby? It's not exactly the sort of thing you drop into the conversation."
Seeing that they weren't going to get any further than that, Jesse asked something on all of their minds. "What's wrong with her?"
"Is it serious?" Maxie continued.
"Is there anything we can do?" Ian was next.
Nicole smiled. "No, it's not serious, she's going to be fine. She's been having trouble sleeping lately, she's crying all the time..."
"Don't all babies do that?" Ian asked, genuinely perplexed.
"Not Sarah. She's usually much more placid. She's a good baby. Except recently...today, she just started screaming, and wouldn't stop. So my parents brought her here."
"And...?" Jesse prompted.
"It's something we should have realised sooner - I had the same problem. See I've been trying to stop breast-feeding her..." She stopped at Ian and Jesse's reactions.
"Too much detail Nicki" Jesse held his hands up as if to ward off the words.
"Sorry." Nicole smothered a grin - Maxie and Reggie didn't do as well. "To make a long story short, she's lactose intolerant - her body can't digest the lactose in bottled formula. We just have to have her on special food, and she'll be fine. She'll be home in a couple of days."
"That's great." Reggie said warmly, noticing Nicole light up as she talked about going home.
"Can we see her?" Maxie asked. She was surprised to see what she had mentally termed as Nicole's "walls" go up again.
"She's not good with strangers," Nicole told her. "Plus it's family only at the moment."
"Another time then" Ian said.
Nicole nodded, then looked at her watch. "Look guys, I'd better go back up. I want to spend some more time with her before I get dragged home. Unless they let me stay with her." She stood, and the others followed.
"Will we see you tomorrow?" Reggie asked.
"I don't know right now..." Nicole ran a hand through her hair.
"No problem" Reggie held up her hands, then hugged her friend. "You take care of yourself ok?"
"OK" Nicole hugged each of them in turn, watching as they went out the double doors. Then she turned and went back the way she'd come. She found a bench in one of the corridors and sank down on it gratefully, dropping her head into her hands. Once her mother had come up to her, she'd known that she was going to have to tell the truth. She supposed that's why she'd reacted so badly at the school when Mrs Berg gave her the note. She'd known Sarah wasn't herself, she'd been worried about her for days. But the fact that the news had come to the school - she'd known her friends would be worried about her, would track her down. Mrs Berg wasn't the best person to leave in charge of secrets. It was the knowledge that her carefully constructed house of cards was within a breath of falling that had hit her almost as hard as the knowledge that her daughter was in hospital.
Tonight had been hard. But it was only going to get worse, she knew that. Now that her secret was out, sooner or later he was going to find out too. It was only a question of when, and she had a feeling it would be sooner rather than later, the way rumours went around the school.
And this, being not a rumour, but confirmed fact, and juicy, salacious confirmed fact at that, was going to spread faster than light-speed.
She shook her head, knowing that she had to prepare for that. Then she stood, and continued down the hall to see her daughter.