First of all, Eurosport only showed "highlights" of this - which basically
means they hacked it with a rusty scissors and masking tape, but they have
redeemed themselves by promising to show highlights (read, the same) of the
Winter Goodwill Games and the Four Continents Championships. I'll believe it
when I see it, but it placates me no end right about now.

The first one we saw was Dmitry Dmitrenko, and Simon and Chris were pushing
the comeback kid aspect of his story. If I hear once more that he won
Europeans in 93 with two left skate blades, I'll throttle Simon! Outift was
silver trousers and shirt with a chainmail like top...music was weird - if
you're familiar with Dmitry, you'll know he's not your conventional skater!
Entitled "Choreography Lesson", it was piano music, and he was there doing
his "up down up down stretch" thingy, while a voice shouted instructions, I
presume in German, I couldn't understand a word, but the Viennese crowd
adored it. If you picture the SOI Fun and Games skit from two years ago, and
remember what they had the coach doing to the skaters, you'll have a fairly
full idea of what it was like. Halfway through it, the lighting changed to
spots, and then away he went! Very musical skater is our Dmitry, and he was
spot on to the music, and he has the best sit spin I think I've ever seen.

Drobiazko and Vanagas were out next, skating to Sunrise at Alcatraz. She had
a lovely brown dress, he had matching trousers, and a rather nice taupe
shirt, they were both looking mighty fine! And this, this was an ice dance!
I swear, I always loved these two, but this week, between the OD, the free
and this, I am now a confirmed fan, who will be hyperventilating through
their free dance at worlds! Just the speed, the rhythm, the innovation, the
connection between the two of them, the obvious joy that they have for
skating.....it truly is a joy to watch them.

Butyrskaya skated to some techno-Spanish piece,self choreographed, and quite
frankly it was better than her short program technically. It may have even
been better than her free program. She wore a pair of black velvet trousers
which I am convinced were stitched onto her, and a top which was constructed
of yellow material with black polka dots, and more flesh coloured net than a
skating costume has seen since Marina Anissina's Arabian number in 97. The
trousers also had yellow dragons tails type streamy yokes coming out of
them....why? Two triples,a double axel, a blinding illusion spin, and talk
about selling it! She positively ooozed attitude...and I know there's only 2
o's in oozed, but she oozed so much it deserves another o! Chris is a fan of
hers from way back, as is Simon, and I think had she led them into the fires
of hell on Sunday afternoon, they would have followed her with smiles on
their faces. She came out for an encore, which was a fantastic step
sequence, to split jump, double axel and spin.....again, she didn't miss a
trick and could have skated all afternoon.

Petrova and Tikhonov skated to some Russian movie soundtrack, with an
unpronouncable name, and I won't insult anyone here by trying to repeat it.
They wore their free program costumes, which meant that Alexei showed more
chest than we ever needed to see. And while I'm here, can I just lament the
disturbing trend among male skaters, across the discipline, who have a
predilection this season for wearing shirts split to the navel or
thereabouts? Now while I'm not a girl who decries such a situation normally,
it's them that aren't especially blessed in the department who seem to feel
the need to display said lack of talent. Them that we would like to see
cover it up. I think especially of the British ice dancer, Lucasz Zalewski,
who between the tango compulsory, the OD, and the free showed far more chest
than we ever wanted or needed to see....note, men with hairy chests should
not go for this look! You North Americans will be spared this sight....just
remember you have been warned!

Now where was I? Oh yes, P&T.....amazing technically! The kind of gala
performance that fairly screams, ok so we lost our title, but take this!
Split triple twist. throw triple sal in spots!...side by side 2ax which he
fell out of, and the most amazing lift, where she's on her side, tucked up,
and he's holding her up whilst he's in an inside spread eagle position. It
might even be done one handed, I can't recall offhand,but it's seriously
amazing. This was a nice routine, but they did an awesome gala piece last
year to Leonard Cohen's "Dance Me To The End Of Love" which was for me a far
better and more musical routine than this one.

Yags was next to Neil Diamond's "September Morning" He skated in a nice
black vinyl shiny shirt, with short sleeves, and thank every god we've ever
heard of that he eschewed the matching trousers! Don't think I could've
handled that! Very nice artisically -the boy has improved immensely in this
department since Helsinki. He did this spin combination which was amazingly
amazingly amazing......flying camel, then a flying sit, and while in the sit
spin, he'd do some revolutions then this little hop, then spin some more,
then another little hop, then spin some more.....he did that about five
times,and each time, bang on with the music. It looked great,as did his
death spiral.....I hesistate to use the word but Boitanoesque anyone?? His
encore was a triple loop, another fabulous death drop and then a
spin....enjoyable.

Next the Italians, Fusar-Poli and Margaglio. Doing their Arabian schtick.
Which I'm sure you've seen. She had a teatowel over her head at the start of
it, and I was hopeful, but it came off, and thank God, he showed no chest!
They do the Russian trick of repeating moves just so we can be sure and see
it, and just to prove that they;ve go it right, they repeat the ugly moves!
I'm like, ok, I get it, you can stretch your legs *really** wide apart, and
point your toe a lot! Great! Do something else! Very fast across the ice,
credit where it's due, but this did nothing for me. The music had pretty
incomprehensible lyrics....the only sense I could make of them was a
sequence where someone was repeating, over and over,what sounded like "You
be the ho".......I snorted. Encore was part of their OD....and I thanked God
for the invention of the fast forward button.

Sluteskaya was next, and the girl done good! First piece was "Entre del
Reve" and correct me on that anytime you like. Piano music, black dress with
purple bits. Spins to die for! Triple flip, Double axel, triple loop with
turns into it, spins to die for, which I've already mentioned, but need to
be mentioned twice because they are that good, a double Biellman, a
backspiral held absolutely forever, with extension and a pointed toe that
all skaters should take note of and do you know how hard that is, and
another Biellman to finish....all this and artistry! If it weren't for my
history of jinxing skaters, I'd be backing her for worlds. If she blows up
in Nice, remember where you heard it first! I said when she first came
along - Skate America 1994 since you ask - that she'd be great, if she lost
the feathers fluff and sequins, got a bit of artistry and figured out how to
use a bit of makeup to take the pallour out of her, and she's done it all.
Encore was a change edge spiral, to back spiral, triple flip, double axel
and double biellman....great!

Bereshnaia and Sikharulidze skated to "You're the Boss" - yes, **that**
"You're the Boss" that Elvis and Kat skated to in the 98 Elvis Tour. He wore
black trousers, red top, her in a red halterneck top with a little black
leather skirt....and this did nothing for me. Not a dog-gone thing. It's
such a departure for them, because it is a very light hearted, flirty
piece,and it looked as if someone just said to them, you do these steps,
this way. I didn't get any connection with the music, and unusually for
them, no connection with each other. I don't think she smiled throughout the
whole thing. They didn't look like they were enjoying themselves, plus I am
beyond convinced that he nearly dropped her on the opening lift - I
shrieked when I saw it, but Simon and Chris said nothing. Mind you it was
the same story with the last lift in the free, and all my friends agreed
with me. They did a throw triple loop, in spots, which she just stepped out
of, but they did it again in the encore and got it perfect. Did a death
spiral, very nice, with his leg lifted as well. Compared to the Elvis and
Kat version, I think they should have left well enough alone.

Plushenko - came out in his free program costume, and hope appeared. The
music started and hope set off for the horizon with its backside on fire.
Good grief child, get a new routine already! You've been doing the Russian
folk/Mr Humphries impression for the past two years, this is the third
season for it, and I didn't like it the first go around! You can only look
at these things for so long. And while you're at it, your shirt is missing
the top button, get thee to a tailor! Technically, 2ax, 3toe, 3loop, 2flip,
3toe, biellman, and a scratch spin he nearly lost.....look you all know this
routine, what more can be said about it???? Encore, I think I've seen, but
it did raise a chuckle. How often do you see the European champion lying on
ice, making flapping noises to bird chirping. (Discount the profession
programs of Bestemianova and Bukin people!) Like I said, bang on the music,
quite humourous, triple flip and triple loop - flying camel into a catch
foot camel (your doughnut on a stick spin) - died on the ice at the end.

Anissina and Peizerat.
Right, the mandatory comment - Gwendal cut your hair.
Now that that's out of the way, they took the advice I gave Plushenko just
now and they got themselves a new routine! No more gold lame body suit,
sorry gentlemen! But this was seriously amazing.....I'm guessing it's from
some French musical, because Gwendal was singing along to the French lyrics
at the start, and they looked as if they were in costume - kinda ragged
clothes, 60s hippy look, dirt / smoke smeared on their faces.....it started
off with Gwendal carrying Marina, singing along like I said, and she looked
as if she was playing dead,and he was appealing to the heavens, why? She
skated "dead" for the whole thing, and my interpretation of it, and I'm all
prepared to be wrong, if anyone knows the story behind the lyrics, but my
interpretation of it was that she was dead, and he was pleading with her not
to go, and she skated away from him at the end, and I am in no way shape or
form doing this justice, but it was just majestic. Epic. Stunning. A visual
and musical tour de force. Emotion unsurpassed. I don't think I've ever
enjoyed a routine from these as much. Super. Encore was the final part of
their OD, to Gloria Estefan, and I must say, I enjoyed it far more here than
in competition. The absense of the flourescent pink dress might help (with
that hair!) as did the presence of smiles! Very nice way to finish the gala.


Then all the skaters came out, in formation, five by five or something like
it, to skate to Janet Jackson, Rhythm Nation. Rene and Kati were there in
their Grease outfits, Lobacheva and Averbukh wore their OD outfits, Abtibol
and Bernadis were in black, Peggy and Mirko had their disco clothes
on...navy tops, blue jeans with spangles.....Zagorska and Siudek had their
"I Want To Spend My Lifetime Loving You" clothes on. Vanessa had her wingy
thingy outfit on....not sure who else was there. They all came out, and took
a turn.....very fun way to end! Volchkova had a black and red affair
on....looked to be enjoying herself.