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THE MEMOIRS OF JOSEPHINE |
I had the choice. I could had easily hold on to my knight and convince his family, who almost disowned him, to side with me. Yet, everytime I pray and see Mama Mary holding the infant Jesus in her arms, I couldn’t help but think of the baby. I could have clung to my knight if I wanted to. But I knew that I would not be happy because I would have deprived an innocent child the chance to be with his own father.
I was crushed. Sino kaya ang hindi? During my recovery period, I joined SFC. But I didn’t join SFC looking for love. By the time I was attending the CLP, I was programmed and determined to close my eyes, my ears, and myself to any kind of love, its perks and other forms. Ganun yata ako ka-bitter...
SFC was not an escape. I was lost and crushed that I wanted direction. I needed to rebuild myself from my brokenness. And when you rebuild one’s self, it is the spiritual foundation which should be the strongest. It was a major turn in my life. Through SFC, I learned and changed and softened. I understood that everything happens for a purpose which I cannot immediately comprehend at times. God has His ways which are not the same as mine.
I was healed. I immensely enjoyed the service. I breathed the SFC air. Teachings became my gimmicks, households my revitalizer, meetings my stimulant. Whatever God had taken, He also replaced abundantly. I experienced the pure joy that only God can give. I enjoyed SFC so much, to the point that I am already ready to spend my life alone in a life of single-blessedness. But while I was having the time of my life with my service, I didn’t notice that God was changing me. He was molding me to be the person that He wants me to be. From being the stoic person that I am, God had softened me. He had other plans for me all along.
When I was really discerning for my vocation, God had revealed to me that I am for marriage. I wrestled with Him. Not again! But then again, SFC taught me obedience, honor, and respect. So, I obeyed and prayed for God’s guidance. I secretly started my novena with St. Joseph, the patron of good husband, without any soul knowing about it. Before the end of nine days, God revealed to me who will it be - a brother in SFC, who, surprisingly during that time, had revealed his intentions to me. We had been serving together for quite a while, but it occurred to the both of us that we could possibly end up together.
We sought the help for prayers from the Tito’s and Tita’s in our cluster, while we were discerning for God’s plan for us. Inspired by the Love Forum Talks, we both started our 40 days of prayer and fasting. During that time, I lifted up my every question, doubt, and fear to God. Amazingly, the tiniest details of every question had been answered. God used the people around us to help us see things in a new and different perspective... Naging kami. From then on, everyday is a blessing from God. Mas na-intensity ang service namin at mas na-doble ang saya.
From my brokenness, God had rebuilt me. I didn’t join SFC looking for love but God picked His gift for me from the community. It is true that God will prepare us for that one true love. He is saving someone for us pag-ready na tayo. Kaya sisters, don’t go looking for love or for the right man for you. Be the person that God wants you to be, and your man, with all his love, will find his way to you...
I am now looking forward to walking down the aisle with him. I thought I found my knight in shining armor again... But I didn’t. I am no longer a damsel in distress. I feel like a princess. Now, I have more than a knight because my Prince has already found his way to me... - Sis. Josephine
I'm not sure if this “microwave prayer” was something that he read or he invented. But nevertheless, I made my own… “God is the strength of my heart”. It was during that time when I was really down and spiritually dry and “malnourished”. And because I believed the power of my friend's microwave prayer, I received the empowerment that I need, instantly and unfailingly. Such is the power of belief. In my case, it did not matter if what I chose to believe in is a universal truth. All that mattered is my faith in it. The freedom to choose what we will believe in is one of God's wonderful gifts to us. It practically defines what our lives would be. We believe that God loves us and we see everything, even the most difficult problems, as gifts for our good, to prosper us and give us a future. We believe that the world is full of sufferings and we only feel the pain that life has to bring. It is our choice. So many catastrophes had hit our country but what do we see? Do we see a wrathful God who is punishing us because of our sins or do we see a wise God who is teaching us to keep the faith, remain hopeful and give love? So many things had happened in our community, some good and some not so good. What do we see? Do we recognize a community that is becoming shallow in what it is standing for, or a community that is being challenged to stand up each time it falls and think of solutions to improve what it needs to improve rather than perennially analyze the problems and pinpoint those who are responsible for it?
In the recently held Regional Leaders Conference, we were made to shout out loud that SFC is UNLIMITED because our GOD is UNLIMITED. How strongly do we believe in that? This last issue of Herald for 2006 is the team's effort to testify how God is infinite in His love, limitless in His strength and abundant in His blessings to us. As this SFC Unlimited issue showcased the inspiring stories of our brothers and sisters and the recollection of the wonderful events that happened during the year, we are praying and believing that this would add to your faith that you can also be infinite in your love, limitless in your strength and abundant in sharing what you have to other people, and that we, SFC's can be and should be UNLIMITED because we can never ever outdo God's generous love and blessings to us. And may this belief pave the way to a brighter 2007 to all of us.
Thank you for being the inspiration to our team. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!
Medyo ma-drama ang kwento ko, pero gusto ko talaga itong i-share...
Before I became an SFC, I already have plans to go abroad with my sister. Akala ko nga, di ko matatapos and CLP. Pero siguro, sabi ni Lord na di muna. Thankful ako dahil through SFC, nagbago ang mga pananaw ko at ang buhay ko. By end of December 2004, pumasok ulit sa isip ko ang mag-abroad. Kaya after ng Puerto Azul Conference, on May 28, 2005, lumipad na ako papunta dito.
Very exciting and adventure ko kasi first time kong sumakay ng airplane. Amazed talaga ako nung tumingin ako sa baba. Ang galing ni Lord!... First agenda ko ang hanapin ang SFC dito para ma continue ko yung pagseserve sa Kanya. Hindi naging madali dahil wala kang makikitang sign board at di ko rin alam kung saan ang church. Pero natagpuan ko sila through the internet. Nag-email ako at nag-reply naman sila. Happy ako pero di ko maiwasang mag-compare ng SFC dito at sa ‘Pinas. Pag pauwi na ako sa bahay, sobrang namimiss ko kayo kaya nag-mimiss call ako sa mga ka-Chapter ko.
I started looking for a job. Walk-in application, pass lang ng CV sa kahit anong company. Masaya na mahirap dahil and init init sa labas. Halos everyday ‘yun. Noong una, pumipili pa ako ng mataas na salary, hanggang dumating ‘yung time na malapit nang mag-expire ang visa ko. Wala pa rin akong work. Grabe ang pressure. Doon na nagsimula yung darkness ng life ko dito sa abroad. Mega iyak na ako. Di na rin ako nakakaattend sa SFC activities dahil wala akong pamasahe. ‘Pag binabalikan ko ‘yun, ‘di ko talaga mapigilang umiyak. Dumating din sa point na hirap na talaga kami sa finances, lalo na ‘yung family ko dyan sa ‘Pinas. Halos every night ata ako umiiyak noon dahil hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Gusto ko nang sumuko at bumalik dyan. Nag-self pity ako at di naiwasang i-compare ang sarili ko sa ibang nakahanap agad ng trabaho dito. Tapos, may time din na akala ko ay dumating na ang pinakahihintay ko, only to be disappointed in the end. At ang worst, sumabay pang nawalan ng trabaho ang sister ko dito. Grabe ‘yung prayer ko noon. Ayoko kasing nahihirapan ‘yung family ko dahil kami lang ang inaasahan... One night, sinabi ko na talaga sa KANYA na di ko na kaya at ang will na lang NIYA ang masunod. Binigay ko na talaga kung anong mangyayari sa akin dahil suko na ako...
Lalong tumibay ang faith ko dito. Naging mas malalim ang relationship ko sa KANYA. Hindi na ganun ang presseure dahil alam kong di NIYA ako pababayaan. SIYA na ang bahala sa family ko at sa financial needs namin... Nagkatrabaho ang sister ko. Nakakuha ako ng new visa. At naka-survive and family ko ‘dyan. At through a sister in SFC, nakakuha rin ako ng trabaho dito. Honestly, last option ko na ‘yun. Tinanong ko si Lord kung ano ang will NIYA. Ang sagot NIYA ay mag-stay ako dito. Naka-isang taon na ako sa work ko dito at next year, uuwi na ako. Makikita ko na kayo!
Ang mga lesson na natutunan ko -TRUST THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART. Mas madaling i-accept kung anuman ang dumating, kung anuman ‘yung para sa akin. Sobra kong napatunayan na nandyan lang SIYA parati at sobrang grabe ang love ni God sa akin, sa atin.
Maraming dumating na blessing sa family ko. ‘Yung dream ko para sa kanila mula nung high school pa ako mukhang matutupad na. Kaya happy ako kahit malayo sa kanila... Malaki ang naitulong ng SFC sa buhay ko dahil sa pamamagitan ninyo, mas nakilala ko si GOD. At binigyan din ako ng lakas ng loob ng mga taong nag-tetext at nag-email sa akin. Salamat sa inyo!
O sige, medyo mahaba na ito. Basta attend din ako ng SFC Unlimited sa Midle East Conference. At confident din ako na pag-uwi ko, dyan ko matatagpuan ang gift ni LORD sa akin.