All You Want

By: Lioness

Rating: G

Spoilers: "The Balance", "Heart Of Mine"

Legal Stuff: Roswell doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Jason Katmis Productions and the WB. Lyrics to "All You Want" don't belong to me. They belong to Dido, the writers, and Arista Records. Lyrics are in italics
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I'd like to watch you sleep at night, to hear you breathe by my side
And although sleep leaves me behind, there's nowhere I'd rather be
And now our bed is oh so cold, my hands feel empty, no one to hold
I can sleep what side I want, it's not the same with you gone
Oh if you'd come home, I'll let you know that

All you want, is right here in this room, all you want
And all you need, is sitting here with you, all you want

I put my journal away. It was nice to write in it again. Writing about Max, writing about Sean, and even writing about Tess. You know, just when I was starting to like Tess and then boom! She pulls something like this. I mean, I know that she and Max had been spending a lot of time together and that Max has been remembering all that stuff about her....

And Sean. You know after I left the prom, we had fun. I hadn't had so much fun in my life. It actually reminded me a lot of Max and I's first date, when were playing pool. It was just fun and innocent.

I was glad to see Maria happy, and I know Alex was happy.

I don't know. I was just...out of it. Maybe it was Sean. Maybe it was Max. Maybe it was just me. But I know with all of my heart that I am still in love with Max Evans.

It's been three years, one night apart, but in that night you tore my heart
If only you had slept alone, if those seeds had not been sown
Oh you could come home and you could know that

All you want, is right here in this room, all you want
All you need is sitting here with you, all you want

After two years of pain, wondering, and just the suspense of it all. I know the truth. Max and I...we're never going to be. I guess ever since last May I knew, deep down under all that love I had for him, that Tess was his true destiny. I couldn't stand to see them kissing. To them locked together in an embrace that one can never go back from.

Max and I had done so. Sean and I had done so. Kyle and I had done so. Once, when we were eleven, at a birthday party, we were playing spin the bottle and Alex and I kissed. I'm laughing thinking about it now. That was my first kiss.

But it hurt to see them kissing. All that knowing that it would someday happen just made my love-filled heart explode. Sean was like a refuge from that pain.

Maria will kill me for thinking such thoughts about Sean, really she will. He just makes me feel...so confidant with myself, and who I am. Sure, he pisses me off from time to time, but anyone can do that.

I just can't get that image of Max and Tess kissing out of my mind. It hurts me so bad. A pain that I can't physically feel, but it brings me to tears.

I hear your key turning in the door,
I won't be hearing that sound anymore
And you and your sin can leave the way you just came in,
Send my regards to her
I hope you've found that

All you want, is right there in that room, all you want
All you need is sitting there with you, all you want

But, I know. Max and Tess are destined to be together. Max and Tess will be together. The least I can do is give them my blessing.

Though, neither of them will ever hear it,

Max Evans and Tess Harding: It was lovely knowing you both. I hope that you two will be happy together. I don't think I can ever look either of you in the eye again, but when I could, I loved it. Have a good life.

I'd like to watch you sleep at night, to hear you breathe by my side.