Dreamers

By: Lioness

Rating: G

Category: CC/Romance

Spoilers: Any first season episode after "Sexual Healing", "The End of the World", and "Viva Las Vegas"
Legal Stuff: Roswell doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Jason Katmis Productions and The WB.
"Dreamers" doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Sarah Brightman and the production companies who worked on it.
Author's Note: This is my first dreamer fic. Please bear with me here. I'm not even a fan of the Max/Liz relationship, but I was inspired.
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Dreamers have mountains they will climb
There are dreamers who don't believe in time
Only dreamers have worlds where they can fly far away

Things were never well with Max and I. I just sometimes wish we could go away. Away from everything. Away from stress, away from destiny, away from it all. Things were going so well when I believed, truly believed, that I would someday be Mrs. Max Evans.

Liz is the only thing on my mind. Nothing can distract me from her. No destiny could pull me away. Liz Parker is the love of my life, and I can't deny that. And I can't see myself with anyone besides her. Not Tess, not anyone.

Certain dreamers have kingdoms they will build,
Filled with treasures and dragons to be killed
Only dreamers have wings with which to fly far away

I can't get away from Max. Maybe I should just let my feelings take over. Maybe we could get away. We could fly away to someplace new. Someplace far away from Roswell. We could go up north. Just anywhere but Roswell, New Mexico where Tess is, the destiny, and aliens.

Max said he saw us being married. As if it were a memory flash. What he doesn't know is that it was a memory flash. Just from a life he will never live. He's to be a king. And I can't be his queen.

When Liz and I kiss, it's magic. She sees stars. Literally. It hasn't happened since that time last spring, but it happened. I wish she would realize that it happened. She seems to distant. Liz is my treasure.

The more time I spend with her lately, the more I feel myself falling in love with her. The more time, the deeper the love.

Some people dream of being rich,
While others dream of being tall
And there are people who don't dream at all

The more time I spend away from him, being only friends, keeping myself from falling back in love with him, the more I find myself falling back in love with him. Irony.

I know Tess is my destiny. I don't want to spend my life with Tess. And Tess doesn't want to spend her life with me. She sees right through my faults. Liz does the same, but she balances my faults. And I balance hers.

Tess and I may have been in love in some past life, but it's a life I can't remember. Just like seeing Liz and I, happy and married in Las Vegas. We were in love, and that happened, I know it did, but I can't remember it. She knows what's behind that memory flash. I wish she could tell me.

Dreamers have shooting stars they chase,
There are others with nightmares they must face.
Sometimes dreamers are forced to leave their dreams far away

Being with Max has become a passing memory. The love I still feel for him is a nightmare. The pain that comes with the knowing. Knowing in my mind that he and I will never be again. Loving him is a wish. Loving him is like a memory I never want to let go of, to hold onto for forever. But still, I feel pressed to let go.

But he won't let me go.

I will never let Liz go. But something inside of me tells me to. I can't listen to that voice. That voice is why she feels that she and I will never be again. But I know that voice is wrong. I will wish on the brightest star for our love. I will go through the nightmare. I will never let go. It's such a cliche` now, but that's how I really feel.

I'll never let go.

And there are people who don't dream at all.

I try not to think about it. If I don't think about, hopes are to be that he won't either. I've never been in love before. I've never second guessed my feelings. I know that I am in love with him. I feel physical pain knowing that I can't be with him. My heart is set with a man already spoken for. My heart wrenches at the though of his face, smiling at my company.

I try to think that I could one day be with him, but I know that is only a dream.

I inhale. I can almost smell her perfume if I think hard enough. Her scent is something wonderful. She has this lavender shampoo and when she walks by me, I always make a point to catch a whiff of her hair. I can still feel my fingers running through it. It was so soft.

I dream of that scent. Of that softness.

Sometimes you need to take the time
To find treasures and mountains we can climb.
And maybe we dream to change the way that we feel,
'Cause to dreamers the real world can be unreal.

I dream. I try to not, but I do. I suppose you could call me a Dreamer. I pretend that Max and I are happy together. It gives me a shimmer of hope. Those dreams are unreal. I try to convince myself that it will never happen. But I keep climbing that mountain of hope. Maybe I will reach the top. The treasure.

I dream of Liz. One could call me a Dreamer. I dream of the two of us. I dream to change the way things are. That if I dream enough, things will change. I hope I can dream that much. To make my dreams come true.

Liz has made my dreams come true.

End...