By Joy
E-mail: jbuchkow@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything to do with Roswell, nor Britney Spears' song; all are humbly borrowed without permission
Summary: Post-ep song-fic for Balance, M&M, Maria's POV
Spoilers: from River Dog up to, and including, The Balance, no ref to The Toy House
Rating: PG, maybe PG13
Archiving: go for it, just let me know
Dedicated to Queen Freak, who liked my last story, encouraged me to write this one, and helped me to decide what to write. Thanks, and lots of hugs to you, my e~chat buddy!
***
The breeze that had blown fitfully around school, during the day, had picked up that evening. It now rustled the leaves of the tree outside her window, and set the branches to tapping against the glass. Maria reached for the volume knob of her stereo, her hand finding it unerringly in the dark from years of practice, and nudged it up a notch. Just loud enough to drown out the tapping, yet still quiet enough so as not to awaken her mother next door. Her mother usually didn't mind that Maria listened to some music in bed, but she did draw the line at listening to music in bed at three o'clock in the morning.
Maria tried, unsuccessfully, to lose herself in the music, let it lull her to sleep, but the lyrics of this particular song mocked her cruelly, and only made her more restless.
~"You drive me crazy! I just can't sleep. I'm so excited, I'm in too deep."*~
That described her state of mind perfectly the night that Liz and Max had gone to the reservation to see River Dog. The night that Michael had kissed her for the first time, and everything had changed. Blasting the Jetta's stereo to keep herself awake on the way home that night, she had found herself belting out the song along with Britney. Yeah, he drove her crazy all right. His jibes, his otherwise apparent insouciance with regards to her, his incredible eyes (why hadn't she ever noticed them before?), that made her simultaneously want to run away from, and run into, his arms. Then, that kiss. A new cd found itself in her stereo the following day, track #2 set on continuous repeat.
~"Every time you look at me, my heart is jumping, it's easy to see...".~
She had played the song again, after the "ransacking" of Topolsky's spy's hotel room. Replayed in her mind how it felt every time Michael had drawn in close to her, teasing her, how he had leaned into her during the phone call. That was all he had done, however, despite the fact that she knew her heart was in her eyes whenever he would, however briefly, look into them.
Then came those hot, sultry nights, when she would get home so late after her shift ended, that she didn't get the chance to hear the song. She didn't think there was anything on the planet that could come close to describing what she was feeling then, anyway. How she felt when she saw that look is his eyes, as he stared into hers through the door of the Crashdown. How time seemed to slow down, so it felt like it took an eternity for him to come inside, and her to melt into his embrace. All that followed, that night, the days at school, the other nights. Her world became consumed by him, as her lips were consumed by his.
~"Tell me ..... that I'm not wasting my feelings on you."~
She had pushed any doubts aside, despite Liz's admonitions. She had actually thought that they might go somewhere with this. What a little fool she was. Out had come the cd; it had found a new home where it landed behind her dresser, amongst the dust bunnies. She didn't need him. She began to build a layer of armour around herself, Teflon-coated, to keep him away. If only it could have kept away her memories, and the reaction of her heart, and body, to him.
Her carefully-constructed armour had begun to crack when he had collapsed on the floor of the Crashdown. Bit by bit, that awful weekend, she had shed it, as a newly emerging moth it's cocoon. In the cave, in the circle, she saw that her own path led her, the moth, to his flame. With their kiss in his dream/vision, her armour had disappeared, and she had welcomed him back into her heart.
That was three nights ago, however. She had not seen him since they had left the cave that night. Since he had acknowledged his decision to let them in. Let her in. She gave him his space, though she was impatient with waiting. She had already gone to him, now it was his turn to come to her, and she feared that he might not take it.
In a burst of renewed hope, when she found she couldn't sleep for thinking of him, her cd had returned to it's rightful place in her stereo. Track # 2 on continuous repeat. Now, it was turned up loud enough now to drown out the tapping on her window, but not loud enough to drown out the tears in her heart. She could not go through this again. What right had she to expect that they actually could have something? Not even Liz and Max were immune to the ravages of the world, their own fears, their doubts. If Max had to take a step back, she doubted the existence of any steps that she might be able to take with Michael.
Maria scrubbed her face with her sheet, staining it with tears, and almost laughed at the thought. Steps with Michael, like they were dancing or something. She doubted that he had ever danced in his life.
The tapping grew too loud for the music. Maria finally sat up in bed, and glared at the window in annoyance, as if that would stop the wind. She met Michael's eyes, watching her from the front roof outside, and gave an involuntary yelp, which she quickly squelched behind her fingers. Slowly, she made her way to the window, never taking her eyes off of his. She saw the same look in them as he had the night when he had come to the Crashdown, and her fingers shook as she quietly opened the window for him.
"What are you doing here?" she quietly hissed, trying unsuccessfully to sound annoyed, as he dropped inside, very close to her.
"Returning your visit," he abruptly captured her astonished lips with his own, giving her another brief taste of heaven. Just as abruptly, he pulled back, searching her face, touching it with a tentative finger. "Sorry it took so long for me to get here."
~"Baby, you spin me around. The earth is moving, but I can't feel the ground."~
"There was no rush," she reassured him, stepping close enough to feel the rise and fall of this chest beneath her cheek. "There's still no rush."
She could be happy with toddling, baby steps. At least they were moving in the right direction. She felt him nod, as he rested his head against hers, nuzzling slightly into her hair, and causing shivers to chase up and down her spine. She found out, then, that he could dance after all. Not only to the music that surrounded them in her room, but also to the one in their hearts. Maria smiled to herself, as they subtly swayed in the dark. Love was truly a universal tango.
* (You Drive Me) Crazy, Britney Spears, from "...baby one more time", 1999, Zomba Recording Corp.
Completed January 13; Revised January 15 and 25, 2000.
The End