Stars I: Liz Parker

By: Lioness

E-mail: Hecubus@servant.co.uk

Rating: PG-13 (implied violence, drinking)

Legal Stuff: Roswell doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Jason Katmis Productions and The WB.

Author's Note: The show will end one day. That we all know. This is one way I that the show may end. I know it's sketchy, but it's just a glimpse of what could happen. Please enjoy.
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I always saw them. Living in Roswell I never thought much of them. You saw them in every store window as a backdrop for some alien fighting scene to attract the tourists who thought they might spot a little green man scuttering throughout the dusty streets.

But I never thought much of stars. They were always a part of my life and for the longest time they were my life. I spent nine years of my life with my head in the stars.

Looking back on it now, I think it was the happiest time of my life. That first year was the best. When Max Evans and I were a couple and in love. Nothing could ever come between me and that feeling.

The second year was probably the worst thing. I brought the whole thing to the ground. I knew Max still loved me. I could see it in his eyes. Even when he walked arm in arm with Tess Harding, I could still see it there.

I knew that even she was second best.

No one would compare to Max Evans in my life. He was the love of my life.

The third year was hard. Slowly the human race was killed off by the alien race, the Skins. No one noticed at first, but when around a hundred people died, then turning into ashes, things began to stir.

Things in my life were not easy in that time as well. The government came back for Max. But instead they got Michael. Michael spent three months in that place. He was never the same when we finally got him free. He was alive, but his mind was never the same.

In that three months Isabel realized her love for Michael. I don't know exactly how she dealt with the way he was from that point, but I knew that she loved him.

The fourth year.

Oh god. The fourth year was hell. Hell had taken residence on Earth right in Roswell, New Mexico.

The Skins brought out their full attack on Earth and the human race. Four alien twenty-somethings against an army of well trained alien soldiers. But then a savior came for them.

The others came. The other four aliens that they never knew. David, Kendra, Paul, and Serena. Serena and I became friends, and I knew we would.

It was strange the way things went. Even though it was a war. Even though it was an alien war. Even though we weren't aliens, they all stayed with us. They never left us. No matter where they went to fight this hell they always came back, and if they didn't come back, we always knew that they wanted to.

The fifth year was an oasis. After two years of being together, Isabel and Michael had their first child. His name was Thomas Matthew Gurrien. He was the sweetest thing you'd ever laid eyes on. I know whenever she laid her eyes on him, Maria saw her child.

That was one thing that she could never get past. Somewhere in there Maria had begun to believe that she and Michael were destine for each other and Isabel was a demon.

But that aside, the fifth year did take on a serenity that the third year, the fourth year, and the years after didn't have.

Max and I shared a kiss in that year. It was in the oddest situation. We were in a bar in East Roswell and I had gotten rather drunk; Max knew to stay away from alcohol, but it didn't stop me. But that night I kissed him, and he kissed me back. And what I saw...it was amazing. I hadn't experienced any flash like that anytime when we had kissed before.

That was the year he and Tess got married. They had a wedding with Michael and Isabel. I remember the ceremony like it was yesterday. I was a bridesmaid with Serena and Kendra. Isabel's mother held Thomas (Or Thommy as we came to call him) in her arms. I don't know how she did this, the tears were streaming down her face. Her alien children (She found out all about them when the war began) were getting married. I think when she found out about them, she didn't believe that they would ever find love.

The wedding was small. I have this picture of the wedding party that I keep in a box with my journals up in the attic.

Maria didn't come to the wedding. She couldn't bear it.

The sixth year was when things became thicker in the war. Alex and I took care of Thommy in this year more than Isabel and Michael did. I think Alex took care of him more, with my slight drinking problem. It was only a slight problem in the beginning. After about four months Alex had a one person intervention. It didn't do much good then.

That year Sheriff Valenti died. He was brought down in battle by a Skin. It was probably one of the saddest days of my life. When Valenti died, I think a lot of hope within the eight died as well. It was almost as if no one cared after that.

Probably three weeks after Valenti died Tess announced that she was pregnant. My drinking heightened here.

But still, the war raged on. And there was nothing anyone could do about it. At least not the humans. The entire human race was depending on eight aliens. And Max, Michael, Tess, Isabel, Paul, David, Kendra, and Serena were amazing warriors. I never thought of Max as being the violent type, but seeing him kill off Skins one by one still haunts my dreams.

The seventh year was probably the strangest.

Tess had her baby, a girl. I don't know why, but she insisted on naming her Elizabeth. I didn't deserve that honor. I was a drunk. That's all there was to it. But someone deserved the name Liz Evans, even if it wasn't me.

So throughout the seventh year of the war a lot changed. My parents died, along with Max and Isabel's mother. Alex, Maria, Lizzy, Thommy, a few others who we met along the way, and I lived in the apartment above the rundown Crashdown.

Maria had a drinking problem along with me, but her's was worse than anything I could have ever had. She didn't just have a drinking problem, she had a severe mental problem. Alex, probably the only one who was completely sane, took care of the babies the most.

One drunken night I slept with Alex, and that was the strangest thing that ever happened to me. No matter what else happened with aliens or alien wars, sleeping with Alex topped the charts.

Also, a few weeks after that, the eight tired warriors came home. They probably hadn't been in Roswell in two months. I know from that night Isabel was pregnant again. She stayed in Roswell with us while the other seven went to war.

Her baby died before he had a chance to live. She went to war two weeks after that.

The eighth year took it's toll on everyone. The war ended, we being victorious. The Earth began to rebuild what was left. No one was the same after that.

I stopped drinking early that year, mostly because Thommy was coming of an age where he saw what I did, and wasn't just an oblivious baby.

Maria on the other hand didn't stop drinking and soon after we admitted her into a mental hospital. I believe she's still there.

Max, Tess, and Lizzy moved away from Roswell to Texas, but we stayed in touch. Tess had another baby that year, a boy they named Alexander Parker.

Michael, Isabel, and Thommy stayed in Roswell. Isabel found out after that she was barren, but they adopted a boy named Caleb whose mother died in the war.

Alex stayed in Roswell. He never did much with his life. He made his way.

In the ninth year I got a phone call from Max. He was crying. He told me that they were coming for them. That night the Evans' and The Gurrien's came to where I lived. Isabel and Michael gave me Caleb. They knew he couldn't come with them. By the next day they were gone. I still wonder where they are.

It's been six years since then. I'm 31 and married. I'm very much in love with my husband, be he still comes second to Max Evans. Sometimes I go to the attic and I read my journals and I look at that picture of the wedding party. I cry. I never know what I feel, but I always know that Max is with me. When I cry, I know that he cries as well.

To this day my head is in the stars. The stars aren't my life anymore, but I will never forget a time when they were. And I'll never forget how I felt about Max Evans and how I felt about my life.

You may wonder about Kyle Valenti. After his father died, he left Roswell. I don't know where he went, but after the war he came back. Six months after Max, Tess, Isabel, and Michael left we were married. Kyle and I have two children of our own, and of course, Caleb. Kyle knows how I feel about Max. But then again, he also knows how I feel about him. We're happy. And I know that Max, wherever he is, is happy as well.

Stars II: Alex Whitman

My world has been through the ringer. It all started when I was sixteen. My friend Liz Parker was shot and Max Evans brought her back to life. That changed everything.

It took me about four days to realize why Isabel wanted to be my girlfriend. She was having dreams about Michael. It hurt me alot. I felt used. But for Isabel...she could use me anytime she wanted.

We never really broke up. It sort of faded away. For her. For me...I was still in love with her, and she never knew it. She never even knew that I was ever in love with her.

When Michael was taken into the government, things changed for Isabel. I could always tell. I don't know what it was, but I always knew what she was feeling. When Michael came back, she knew that she was in love with him, and he felt the same about her.

So I let her go.

The the Skins took a full force war on Earth. The hardest part of that was being alone. Liz began drinking around this time, not helping matters in the least. And Maria...Maria began to lose it. I don't know what it was, but she wasn't the same person then.

During that war David, Paul, Serena, and Kendra came. They helped so much. David was the strangest guy I've ever met. He always kept this stone with him, and I never knew what it was for, until later.

Then Isabel had a baby. She had Michael's baby. I can't say that I didn't feel jealous, I did. Thommy ended up being a very different addition to everything. They couldn't take him into battle, of course, so he stayed with Liz, Maria, and I. Or more like it he stayed with me.

Not too long after that Isabel and Michael married. Tess and Max married. I was in the wedding, as whatever they call the guys. Liz dealt with the wedding in her own way...drinking. Maria didn't even come to the wedding. And I, took a nice place in the bathroom and cried for about an hour. I came out and I was fine. No one knew.

I tried to help Liz with her drinking. No matter what I told her she wouldn't listen to me, so she didn't stop and there was nothing I could do. I think now she wishes she had, but that's not the point. I wasn't a very effective friend that day.

Then devastation set in. Jim Valenti died in battle. We all knew that he shouldn't have been there, but he couldn't just sit around and let this war happen. Soon after that Kyle left. I heard somewhere that he went to Canada, but that wouldn't get him away from the war. It was everywhere.

Then Tess said she was pregnant. That didn't take a good effect on Liz. No one else really noticed that she was drinking more then, except me. I was the only one around her enough.

When Tess had her baby, Elizabeth, who adopted the name 'Lizzy', I don't think that was good for Liz. Especially since she and I took care of Thommy and Lizzy together. Me mostly.

I don't resent Liz, or Maria, or anyone for basically losing three years of my life to taking care of children, but I do resent that they weren't my own children.

The strangest time in my life was when Liz came to me, extremely drunk and told me that she loved me and that she wanted to show me. I could have done more to stop what happened, but I was lonely. That was all there was to it. Liz and I slept together that night, and I don't regret it. Even if it was very, very strange.

Then when the eight came home, they spent the night in the dumpy Crashdown apartment, that we couldn't not call The Crashdown.

That night David showed me exactly what that stone did. It was sensory device. Sort of like what you see in spy movies, except this was alien technology. It didn't just...sensorize, it could tell how a person was, how they felt, what the felt. He used it on me. He knew everything. Then he let me use it on Isabel.

She was happy. She hated the war. She hated being away from Thommy so much. But she was happy with Michael. It made me happy that she was happy, but it made me so sad, that I was so alone.

Isabel became pregnant again, and stayed with us for about three months while the others went back to war. I got to spend time with my sweet Isabel. I asked her if she was really happy, even when I knew. I wanted to hear it from her. And she told me:

"Alex, I regret not having kissed you more. For not having been a better friend, when I had the chance. And the thing I regret more than anything is not taking you seriously. I loved you, Alex, really I did, but I always knew that it couldn't be. Now, I love Michael. And I love Thommy, and this baby, and I often think about what it would have been like if Thommy was our child instead of Michael and I's. And I am happy. And I know that you will be happy as well."

I cried that night. I cried again when Isabel's baby died before it was born. She went back into battle not long after that.

When the eighth year came, I was tired. I really wanted to die that year. But somewhere a ray of light shone on us, and the war ended. It was like a weight was taken from my shoulders. I don't know if I felt guilty for not have been in battle with them, even if I knew that i would have died. All eight of them came back alive, maybe not well, but alive.

Soon after that, Max, Tess, and Lizzy moved to Texas, where they had another baby, Alexander Parker Evans. It was an honor that I take to the grave.

Maria took every step the hard way. She never did totally understand what I then understood form talking with Isabel that night. She didn't understand that, maybe Michael did love her, but he knew that they could never be. Maria left us and went to a mental institution where she still resides. I think they'll be letting her leave in the next two years.

Liz stopped drinking finally. It took her long enough. But she stopped. I know that she still has a few problems with it. After the war, Kyle Valenti returned and swept Liz off her feet and they were married.

Michael and Isabel stayed in Roswell with Thommy. When they found out that Isabel was barren, they adopted a boy, maybe four, named Caleb. I was always resident baby-sitter.

About a year after the war, Max, Michael, Isabel, Tess, Serena, Kendra, Paul, David, Lizzy, Little Alex, and Thommy went home. Liz took legal adoption of Caleb, along with the two children of her own.

I never got to say one last good-bye before they left.

Now I cry every night.

I never got a steady job. I never got married. I'm a thirty-one year old bachelor and I'm so alone. My life for those nine years revolved around one woman, and I'm still in love with her. No matter what I say to myself, I still love her. Six years after the last time I saw her I'm still in love with Isabel Evans. And it's a comfort to know that she once loved me.

Stars III: Tess Harding

My life. I never had a life. No, I did, I had a life. But it wasn't my life for sixteen years I lived the life of someone I didn't know. For sixteen years Tess Harding was not a person. She was this thing that didn't mean anything to anyone.

Then we moved to Roswell, New Mexico. I don't know if Nasedo assumed that they would have never just stayed in Roswell or what. When we came out of the pods we were only children. Even he knew that. But still, we moved from place to place until we came to Roswell.

Where I met Max Evans for the first time. I knew him in my mind, in the bits and pieces of memories that Nasedo gave me, but he wasn't what I thought he was. I thought he was in love with me.

But still, things went on, and I learned to accept this. Until one night. He kissed me in the park. He told me that things were over with he and Liz. When he said that he wanted for us to be together, I thought I was the rebound girl. And maybe for a while I was the rebound girl, but after a couple of months Max actually began to enjoy my company.

Then one day he fell in love with me.

But that was not all I could think about. Nasedo died, and then soon after, the Skins began to take the lives of innocent humans.

Then things got very hard. The government took Michael. We had to go in after him. Only Michael knew how to get past the system, and, well he wasn't much help. So, we used my power to make things look as if nothing was happening and had a nice guard let Max in. Michael was in a white room. Max couldn't handle that with his experiences there. He was absolutely no help. So Isabel and I went in. We got him out of there.

Michael spent three months in that place. He never talks about it. He never brings it up. I think he told Isabel, but I don't know. Isabel knew she loved him while he was gone...soon after he realized his destiny was with her.

Then hell came to Earth. The Skins became the enemy of human and alien alike. Max, Michael, Isabel, and I went to war.

Isabel died. Only the four of us knew. But she died on the battle field. Michael brought her back. He discovered that he had the power to kill, but the power to life was in his hands as well.

We realized then that we needed help. And then, as if on cue, four angels came to our rescue. David, Paul, Serena, and Kendra.

David was strange, with a strange way about him. He always knew what to say when, though. I never knew how he did that.

Paul was the exact opposite of David. He was reckless and temperamental.

Serena was a beautiful spirit who didn't deserve to be on the battle field. She was quiet, and held great powers, more powerful then anyone else.

Kendra was bubbly. That's the only way I can describe her. She was the eternal optimist. She was so in love with David. The two of them, seemed to different on the outside, but they were so in love. Even Max and I didn't have that. Max and I would never have that.

After a long while we got a break in the war. It was like a resting period. And it was a good thing since Isabel had her first and only child, Thommy.

Then on the same day, Isabel, Michael, Max, and I had a double wedding. I can remember the look on Max's mother's face when she saw me in the second-hand wedding dress I had gotten. It was this mixture of sadness and absolute horror. I don't know what she expected, but I knew that she never expected me to marry her son. Even if her son was an alien. Even if I was an alien.

She was so proud of Isabel. Like everyday for the first sixteen years of my life, I felt like the extra that was just there because I "was part of it". I'd fought in battle. I watched her daughter die and then be brought back to life. It wasn't fair. And I never expected it to be. I knew that life wasn't fair.

About a year after the wedding Sheriff Valenti died in the war. We told him, pleaded with him, not to fight in the war, but he insisted. He told us that it was his duty and no one was going to stop him. Well, a Skin stopped him. I will respect that man until I die.

Not long after Valenti died I became pregnant. I was twenty-one years old. I hadn't been married for four months and I was going to have a baby. But still, I went into battle. Isabel had, and so would I. I never realized until then that Isabel was so much stronger than I was. I was struck by a Skin. It wasn't enough to kill me, obviously, but it hurt me, and the baby I was carrying.

I went back to Roswell and stayed until my baby was born. I named her Elizabeth. I figured that someone deserved the name Liz Evans. I stole that right from someone who would probably treat the honor with more love than I could ever supply.

Lizzy, Thommy, Alex, Maria, and Liz lived in the apartment above the old Crashdown. They were the only ones I trusted with my child outside of myself and Max. And we went back to battle.

This was the hardest part of the war. Not only were we in the most intense part of the war we ever fought, but I spent my time thinking about my daughter in Roswell. We were in Colorado during this part of the war.

We came back and spent a week in Roswell. Max and I spent time with Lizzy. I doubt she remembers that time, but I'll never forget it. Max told me that he loved me. I knew he did, but the look on his face when he said this...it was like for the moment I was the one person in his life and there was no one else, and there never would be anyone else. By the next day that changed back to the way things were, but that will be one time I will never forget.

Isabel became pregnant again, but her child died. I wasn't there for it, and I'm glad. I don't think I could have ever dealt with that.

One night between battles, a Skin came to us. She had golden locks, the were dirty and looked to have sheared off. It was Courtney. She was dying. We had struck her and she was dying. It wasn't as if we hadn't killed Skins before, but we killed Courtney. Someone we knew. It wasn't a trap or a trick. She died at our camp. We buried her outside the battlegrounds. It was the least we could do.


Finally the war ended. We won. With much amazement, we won the war. We went back to Roswell, victorious.

About two months after the war, Max, Lizzy, and I moved to Texas. It was Max's idea. I think he realized that he needed to be away from Liz, without forgetting about her. I had another baby, and I named him Alexander Parker. Alex deserved it, considering he was the second father to Lizzy. And Liz Parker deserved everything from me.

Michael and Isabel stayed in Roswell. They lived there with Thommy and their adopted son Caleb. We visited them often.

One night Max awoke with a dream. He knew that they were coming. He woke me up and told me to pack. We were going to Roswell for one last time. To see Liz.

We drove all day to Roswell, and then that night Michael, Isabel, Liz, Max and I cried. Isabel felt pain; she had to part with Caleb. Liz, and her by that point husband Kyle Valenti, adopted him. I knew that had to ease her pain. At least some.

And the next day, we left. Now we live where we belong. It wasn't an easy adjustment, but we still live. And we still love. And even when Max still loves Liz, from millions of light years away, I know he loves me. And that's something I can live with.

Stars IV: Jim Valenti

I get out my tent. It's still dark out. I look at my watch. From the moonlight I can barely make out that it's five AM. My sleep had been full of nightmares. The same nightmares I'd had every night since this war started...but tonight there had been a difference.

We've been at war for two years now. I wake up every morning around seven AM, earlier if we are fighting. Today, when I woke up two hours earlier, I know that something was going to happen. Something terrible.

My dreams were pits of doom, black fingers curling up at me at every turn. I saw the battlefield before me, thousands, no, millions of Skins advancing. I looked behind me and saw no more warriors behind me, but instead all the people I loved. I had to defend them singlehandedly, but the ground was falling out from under me. I grabbed for the edge of the bottomless chasm, only to see every Skin hold up his hand--

I stand, facing the east and wait for the sun to rise, hoping that the sunlight will shake off this awful feeling of foreboding. I begin to think about my life, and where it's been, and where it could someday lead.

The happiest day of my life was the day Kyle was born. I was a deputy, and I had no idea what real responsibility was. To my dismay he grew up very quickly and he was so much like me. I never wanted him to make my mistakes, and I feared that he would.

I lived the small-town sheriff life until one fall day there was a shooting.

After nine months I found out what I had been searching for...what my father had been searching for. The existence of aliens. There were four of them. Max Evans, Michael Gurrien, Isabel Evans, and Tess Harding.

In my dreams, I had watched my body turn to ash. First my fingers, blowing away in the wind--a torrential downpour of rain, rain that burned my skin--and then my hands. This was when I would realize that without my hands, I wasn't holding on to the edge anymore. I fell into the abyss as my arms disintegrated.

I shot Kyle. I didn't mean to, I didn't. If he died...I would have died. But Max saved his life. I owed him everything.

Soon after that another race of aliens began to take residence on Earth. The Skins. That's when things got out of control. Not just with that, but with my personal life.

That year I began to seriously date a woman by the name of Amy DeLuca. That July we were married. I loved her with everything I had inside of me. I don't think Kyle, or her daughter, Maria felt exactly the same way.

That fall the alien invasion of the Skins began to expand outside of Roswell. Soon people all over the world were being murdered and then turned to ash.

I would begin to fall more slowly at this point. As my shoulders blew away, I saw faces on the sides of the pit. They were the faces of the people who had been standing behind me, and I would realize with a start that, with no other warriors to protect them, the Skins would--But even my most horrifying nightmare did not make me witness that. The knowledge alone was enough to torment me more than the pain of the burning rain, the toes now blowing away.

That year Amy became pregnant with a child of our own. I was astounded. Probably not as astounded as Kyle and Maria. I think the idea of being actually connected bothered them, but it didn't stop Amy and I from having this baby.

When Amy was eight months pregnant, the Skins began the last chapter in their terror...the war. Every history book will have this war in it...if the war ever ends.

The four teenage aliens took it among themselves to go and fight. Even after four more came to their aid, I still went out with them. It was my duty. I can remember their pleas to me. They didn't want me out on the battle field, for my own sake. I was always glad they cared, but I had to go.

Amy had our daughter, Sophia, right on schedule. I wasn't there for it. I will regret that for the rest of my life.

Soon after Sophia was born, Isabel Evans had her child, Thomas. After that, Maria, my step-daughter was never the same girl I had known. She always talked about Isabel and Michael, when she spoke. She always spoke against them.

Then, Max and Tess, Isabel and Michael, were married in a double-wedding. I was the Best Man. That night, we partied. That would be the only way to put it.

The faces I saw over and over again were the aliens. I wanted to tell them, somehow, not to give up hope, to go on and fight without me--was I dying?--to tell them that good would prevail, because good always prevails, all the storybooks tell you, from the first story you can remember that your parents told you at night, good always wins. But my throat seemed to be ash.

Liz Parker had her own party with a bottle of vodka. She never took her eyes off of Max and Tess when they danced. Only made me wish that I could read minds.

Maria didn't come to the wedding, but Kyle, Amy, and Sophia did. That was one of the best days of my life. It was also the last time I saw my wife, my son, and my daughter.

*

The sun is rising now. It's almost completely risen. I glance at my watch. It's going onto six-thirty.

I wish I could see Amy again. Tell her that I loved her. Maybe that would shake off this feeling of dread that is hanging over my head.

I stand there alone at looking at the sun. "I love you, Amy. No matter what happens today, I'll always be there with you. I wish I could have been there for you more. I just hope that you know how I feel about you."

I stand there in my thoughts for a few more moments. I think about my children. I think of how much I love them,and I don't think that I'll be able to ever show them again. I regretted that so much. I could never tell them. I would never see them again. I know that I won't.

I wanted to see my son. He was my salvation for sixteen years, when no one else was there for me. I wanted to see my daughter. I hardly knew her. She was born and I wasn't there. I still cannot forgive myself for that.

"Kyle," I say softly. "Kyle...I love you. It was just you and me for so long. You're a grown man now, and you can make it without me. I just...I just want you to take care of Sophia, Sophia and Amy. And I hope that someday you'll have a family of your own to...to love the way I have all of you."

The dream had always ended there. I would wake up in a sweat, paralyzed with fear. But last night...Last night, I had watched myself turn to ash, watched the ash blow away in the wind. I saw it blow across the desert, across Roswell, across the people I had seen on the walls of the chasm. I saw Roswell without war, without Skins. I saw the people I loved happy and safe again.

And I had felt a peace like I had never known before.

I hear rustling from behind me. I see Max getting out of his tent. He looks like he hadn't slept at all that night. That poor boy. He's had to grow up so fast. He's twenty years old. He doesn't deserve this.

I look back at the sunrise. I thank God for making one joy within this hell. Going to Roswell would be another joy. Just to for a few minutes. I can't stop thinking about my family, the family that I love, there in Roswell, without me. I know I'll never see them again, and now, I can accept that.

Max walks over next to me. He places his hand on my shoulder. "Beautiful isn't it?" He says.

I nod. I look at the desert sunrise, staining the sky in orange and pink. Then I look at the boy--the man beside me. "Max..."

He looks me straight in the eye. I know he can see it too. I know he realizes what that day will hold for me.

And I know he feels my peace.

He turns back to face the eastern horizon again. I can see the tears glistening in his eyes. He takes a deep, calming breath before he speaks. "We've all had to make sacrifices in this battle," he says. "Some far greater than others."

I recognize his words for the goodbye they are. I, too, have to breathe carefully before replying. "And for some, they are not sacrifices. For some, they are honors."

"They're coming! I can see them...they're one their way from the next hill!" I hear Michael call, breaking the stress of the feelings in the air. "Get ready..."

I can see them coming now. They look so...lifeless. Like all they want to do is kill us all. And I believe that they do.

I call out to Amy, Kyle, and Sophia once more in my mind. I look at the sun once more and then walk away, toward the battle. I walk towards the greatest honor I will ever receive.

Stars V: Isabel Evans

I never understood my life to the full extent. I've always had this craving to know who I was. I spent my life wondering, wandering this Earth trying to find myself, and then one day I realized. I wasn't part of this Earth.

Vilandra. That's who I really was. A traitor to my people. Why would they ever want me back with them? History repeats itself. That's what everyone always said. But I could change history. If I really tried, I could change it...for the better.

When I was sixteen my brother, Max, saved Liz Parker's life. Then I could have killed him just because it had always been that we never told anyone, and no one ever knew. Now I realize, if he hadn't done that, we'd probably be teenagers in Roswell, still sitting around wondering who we were.

That year I met Alex Whitman. He was sweet, and I liked him alot. After a few months I felt I was in love with him. I never told him that, but I didn't feel it was really that necessary. I now know that I should have told him, because I hurt him. Badly.

Our relationship never went past that. It sort of...faded away. Nothing "official" about a breakup. After that I think I forgot about him. But when the government took Michael to that place...my mind was nowhere else. I realized my destiny was with him. I prayed that it was, anyhow. I didn't want to be that traitor again.

Him being in that place scared me. He was...I didn't know who he was to me. Was he my brother? My lover? It was all I could think of. No matter what I did, I couldn't get those questions out of my mind. It was horrible, like I was stuck in some sort of parallel universe. It took us three months to free him without any of us getting caught. And we had a lot of close calls.

But after three months of pure torture Tess and I freed Michael from the white room. I kissed him that day for the first time in my life. From that point on...I knew. He knew. It wasn't just our faces in a book. It was real. It was right in front of our faces.

I must admit, at first it was weird. At first it was very weird. But I worked at it. And to my surprise Michael tried to make it work. And by the time Michael and I had gotten comfortable as being more than friends; Sheriff Valenti and Amy DeLuca were married, the Skins had begun taking the lives of humans. Killing them, and then taking their lives. Stealing their lives from them, and making them their own.

This started the war. The war of the worlds, as Max put it more than once. After not long, probably three months, we were tired. The four of us felt that we couldn't go any further.

Because of this, I died. I died. It seems so strange to say that. I obviously don't remember it, but I was told that Michael saved me; brought me back to life. I got flashes of Michael's life. It was so sad. I knew his life was hard, but I never understood that it was so horrible.

Finally the others came. The other four. David, Paul, Serena, and Kendra. I loved them all. Not just for being with us, fighting the war, but for who they were. Kendra was the sweetest person I'd ever met. It was like she couldn't comprehend war. She seemed so innocent. She was in love with David and that's all there was to it. It wasn't even that final with Michael and I...even when I loved him.

We went to war with more power behind us. Sheriff Valenti insisted he come with us. Having him seemed to be almost like a inspiration. He wasn't like almost every other human on Earth who feared and hid. He faced the music. We all spent every day fearing for his life. He had less power than us. But he did a lot of damage to the Skins, so we could never speak against him, even if we thought that he wouldn't make it through the next day. We couldn't persuade him to go back to Roswell, back to his family. He was loyal. And we respected him for that. I don't think any of us disrespected him. I believe we always will respect him.

After a few months I felt sick; I was tired. I then realized that I was pregnant. We were in war and I was going to have a child. It was very scary. I was nineteen. I wasn't even married. I told Michael first. The look on his face. It was this cross between joy and pure fear. I knew exactly how he felt.

Pregnant aside, I still went to battle. I fought and I fought well. I never wanted to fight in this condition again, though. There was no way in hell they would get me out there again, putting my child's life at risk. I knew I wouldn't have to fight that. I fought them to even let me go out. They wanted me in Roswell until the baby was born. But still, I went to battle, and we even won battles in that time.

We went back to Roswell so I could have my baby.Michael held my hand the entire time. I had a boy. Serena and Tess delivered him. I can remember to clearly the first time I held him in my arms. Michael had his arms around me. I don't think I can remember a time when he was so happy. We named him Thomas after my grandfather.

Sadly, we had to go back to war. I left Thommy in the capable hands of Alex and Liz. I wasn't too sure about Maria. I had gotten the feeling that Maria was avoiding me. She never looked my in the eye, and when she did look at me it was always a glare. I could tell she was bitter.

Our battles then were short and sweet. We won every battle between Thommy's birth and the weddings.

Yes, Michael and I were married. As were Max and Tess. We had our wedding on the same day. It was really a nice ceremony. Valenti was Max and Michael's best man. Alex, David, and Paul were groomsmen and Liz, Serena, and Kendra were the bridesmaids.

Kyle sat with his step-mother and half-sister. He had a strange look on his face throughout the entire night. Maria didn't attend the wedding. Tess and I both wanted her in the wedding, but she didn't come. I knew that was my fault. I was marrying Michael.

Despite a few parents, no one else came to the wedding. We spent the night carefree and actually acting our ages. For the first time in a year we were actually acting like twenty-year-olds. It was refreshing. But the next day, we made our way back to the battle fields.

One night we had been fighting for hours. It was probably two AM. It seemed that we had lost this battle. Eight aliens and one human against hundreds of Skins...the more we fought the more it seemed like a distant dream. But Valenti. He sacrificed himself for us. A Skin...I don't know which one. If I did there would be one less Skin to worry about. A Skin struck him. He spent two years fighting with us, for us, and he was struck by the Skin. Tess and I were the ones to pull his body from the battle field. We were the ones to watch as his body...as his body turned into ash. I couldn't get past the feeling. The realization that he was actually...dead. It seemed so unreal.

Tess took some of the ash and put in a small pouch. We kept it and the next time we were in Roswell we buried it.

After Valenti died Tess told us that she was pregnant. She tried to be in battle as I did. I was much against it, but she insisted. She was struck by a Skin, not enough to kill her, but enough to hurt her and her child. Max ordered her to Roswell for her sake and the sake of their child. She obliged.

Tess had her baby, a girl, which she named Elizabeth. Lizzy, as she came to be called stayed with Alex in Roswell. And the eight of us went back to war. Tess and I would often talk about how we felt. The two of us became very close in this time. I told her how I felt. I told her how I felt about this war. How I felt about the eight of us.

I felt as if I owed them everything. I betrayed them in our lives as aliens. I'd been told by so many that history repeated itself. I felt like this war was my fault. If I hadn't been a traitor to my people...how could I have gone to the Skins? I had let myself believe that I was no longer Isabel, I was Vilandra. The one who left my people for some love. I loved Michael. My destiny was with him. Or so I thought. I spent every night awake, listening to Michael sleep, wondering if this is who I was before. If this is who I really was. Who was this love that I left for? Did it matter now? The questions prevailed in my mind to the point where I couldn't sleep.

After months of battle we came home to Roswell. We spent almost a whole week in the apartment above the old Crashdown. I tried to put my thoughts away while we were there. I put on a happy face. But how could I be sad or guilty when I actually got to spend time with my son and some real quality time with my husband.

While we were there Maria stayed at her mother's with her half-sister. By that time Kyle had left Roswell...for wherever he went to.

After that week we went to battle in Florida. I went back two weeks later, pregnant again.

I spent most of my time in the old apartment with Thommy, Lizzy, and Alex. I hadn't seen Alex in ages. I mean, really see him, spend time with him, talk to him. We spoke on almost every subject there was, except the war. I told him all my doubts, even when I knew I was supposed to be with Michael. And even when I loved him, and I hurt him, he returned to me with a sensible, kind ear. He asked me if I was happy. And I told him the truth. And I think it pleased him. I don't think it was what he wanted to hear, but I think it made him happy. At least to know that I was happy.

And he was the first to cry when my baby died. Even before me. He was the first to hug me. The first to tell me that everything would someday be fine. I disagreed with him, but I didn't tell him that. He was there to comfort me, and the last thing I wanted to do was be comforted. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry and never stop. I wanted to die. But I did none of those things. I let him comfort me. And then I cried. I cried for my baby, I cried for Thommy, he didn't know his sibling and he never would, I cried for Michael, who wouldn't have a second child, and I cried for Alex, who was being so sweet and staying with me that night. But I didn't cry for me. I didn't feel that I deserved to be cried for.

But Alex cried for me. And that meant something. It always did. And it always has. And it always will.

I went to war about two weeks later. I pushed that night from my memory and I dwelled on the war. Max told me how well I was doing. I was only doing that well because I didn't think of anything else. I wanted to kill the Skins. They killed Valenti and they killed my hope for anything. They killed my hope for ever atoning for what I did. And I don't even remember what I did.

I don't know what did it, but we won. We defeated the Skins. I did it for Valenti, my unborn child, and Vilandra. Vilandra who deserved a second chance. I gave Vilandra that second chance. And I took it. I will no longer be her. I will now be Isabel Evans-Gurrien. And I will be proud of that.

Max, Tess, and Lizzy moved to Texas. They came to Roswell often, but not often enough. They had another baby, Alexander Parker. And if you look him in the eye, you can see that gleam that Alex always has in his eyes.

Maria...I still feel guilty for Maria. Her mother admitted her into a mental hospital that year. I still believe it was my fault, even when Michael tells me otherwise. He says that it was inevitable. He tells me that she was never really stable, even when I know that's not true. I hope that she's fine. That'll she'll come out better than she went in.

Alex stayed in Roswell. I never forget him. I did once, but I don't anymore. I hope that he is well in whatever he does. I hope that he is making someone as happy as he made me. He deserves that so much.

Kyle came back after the war. I believe that he and Liz were married. And I hope that they were happy. I know the look is Liz's eyes though. She will always love Max, so in some way, I am her sister.

Michael and I adopted a child, named Caleb, after we found out I was barren. He wasn't an alien, he had no powers, but we loved him just the same. That never really mattered in out eyes until one night...

One night about a year after the war, Max called Michael and I. He told us that we were going home. Home. Back to where we came from. All my fears flooded back to me. What if they wouldn't take me? I was the traitor. Winning a war didn't mean anything. No matter how far I ran, I was still Vilandra in their eyes. I didn't pay my dues. Not enough.

But still we went to where Liz lived and gave her Caleb. It was like my baby dying all over again. I barely let go of him that night. I would never see him again...tears filled my eyes and spilled over early in the night. They didn't stop. No matter what I couldn't get it out of my mind that I would either never see Caleb again, or I would never see Michael, Thommy, Max, Tess, Kendra, David, or anyone ever again. If they didn't take me with them. If they were bitter about it.

Vilandra took a hold of me. I spent that night afraid. I clung to Caleb and Michael, in fear. In fear that I wouldn't see one or the other again.

But the next day, that night even, they came, and I went with them. I still cannot get over the loss of Caleb or my unborn child. I don't think I ever will, and I definitely don't think that I will ever forgive myself. Even if that part of me is Vilandra, and I don't know what she did. But whatever she did, it was part of me. She was part of me, but no longer did she take over me.

I dream of my life on Earth. I dream of being with Alex. I even dream of being with some strange man. I wonder if that's the man I left my people for in my 'first life'. But I'm still with Michael, and I don't feel that will ever change.

And I think that part of me will always be a part of my life on Earth. And Vilandra is part of me, but the part that I won't speak with much at all.

I cry for Alex. He cried for me when I couldn't even cry for me. And maybe if I cry enough, I will feel fulfilled.

Stars VI: Kyle Valenti

Jerk is the word that comes to mind when people think about me when I was fifteen or sixteen. And I would have probably pounded their faces in then, but now I have to agree.

I didn't realize I grew up fast until I turned about thirty. Adult. I never thought of it as a scary word, except for the time when I shoplifted with a couple of my buddies.

When I was seventeen I had a change of heart. I had found out that Max Evans, whom I had hated for so long, was an alien. So was his hottie sister, his weird violent friend, and the new girl. I didn't really know what to do. So I turned to religion. After studying a few of them, I settled on Buddhism. It seemed right for me at the time.

So on things went for a few months. No major changes, despite the general alien weirdness. You know, the girl I liked left off with her alien destiny-mate or whatever. But that was inevitable.

Really, to be honest, I avoided them as much as possible. I hung out with my other jock friends, just to get away from the aliens and anyone who had to deal with it. Unfortunately, I was one of the people involved with them.

But the government took Michael, the freaky one, and I missed most of that action. I was hiding out in my room. Mostly to get away from Amy DeLuca-Valenti, my step-mother. It's not that she wasn't nice or anything. It was just that she was my step-mom. I was used to it just being dad and me. And then Tess for a while as well. I don't like change. And Maria moving in the house. The tension between her and Tess was scary. I was afraid that Tess was going to kill her on more than one occasion.

Amy found out she was pregnant. it was really great. I can't say that it wasn't, but I wasn't as happy as she or my father. Maria didn't really give a shit no matter what.

Soon after that the Skins began an all out war. War. I was scared out of my wits, but my dad went into battle with Evans, Michael, Isabel, and Tess. Soon after that four more came. I never really knew them.

Dad wasn't there when Sophia was born, so I sort of filled in. It was the first time I saw a baby being born. Buddhism had teached me to appreciate life, but this was life at it's purest. I hadn't seen life so pure in my entire life. I took a new appreciation that day.

About four months after Sophia was born, they all came home. Isabel had her baby, Thommy, who I had to say, was a much more well behaved baby than Sophia. After he was born Max and Tess, Isabel and Michael, were married. It was weird. We were all like nineteen, and they were getting married.

I can remember talking to Liz that night, before she got totally wasted. She was sitting in the ground crying. I asked her what was wrong, thoroughly concerned for her. She told me that it was her wedding day. That it was her that was supposed to be getting married. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Then she told me this crack pot story about how Max had come to her from the future and all this shit. And with all that had happened to me in the past five years I believed her.

And she told me, "Kyle, this is my wedding day. Max and were supposed to get married when we were nineteen. That's what he told me." It was hard to understand her through her tears.

That was the last time I ever saw my father. I said good-bye. I didn't tell him that I loved him. I remember so clearly, not saying it. He walked away next to Evans, and the words were in my mind. I wanted to shout them out, but I didn't. I was too proud.

The day I found out. I remember the phone was working that day. It was a big deal. I was sitting on the couch, watching Maria playing with Sophia. It was one of Maria's good days. Amy was making an apple pie. I can remember the smell of the apples and cinnamon baking together in the oven. I was reading this book of short stories that I had borrowed from Maria. I was reading one about this girl who was a compulsive liar. And all of her lies came true. And things all got screwed up because they weren't lies anymore. I remember reading the line "He died because she said he wasn't alive any longer.", when the phone rang.

Amy answered it. It wasn't long before she began crying. Maria walked right in. First, I picked up Sophia, and then I walked in behind her. Amy was holding the phone in one hand, and holding her head in the other. I set the baby down in her high chair and took the phone from Amy. I could hear a dial tone, so I hung the phone up. For a while Maria and I sat on the floor watching Amy cry, wondering what the hell was wrong. And after what seemed to be hours, but was probably about fifteen minutes, she told us. My father had died in war.

I think somewhere inside of me I knew. I woke up quiet that morning. Like he woke me up and told me. And I went back to sleep, not really remembering, but when I woke up, wondering, 'did I dream that?'. I didn't cry. I packed my things. I ran. I ran like the coward I was.

I couldn't run from the war. The signs of it where everywhere. At first I went to Canada. I remember I saw a moose for the first time in my life, and it was the most amazing thing in the world. It was so stupid, but it was normal. It was something that was innocent.

After Canada, I went to Cincinnati. I have never been to a place like Cincinnati. It was like the was wasn't there. It this little oasis from the rest of the world. People there were actually happy. It was like the Skins had never even heard of the place. I stayed in Cincinnati for about two and half years.

I met a girl. Her name was Lydia Mason. The thing I really liked about her was the way she laughed. It was like if I could hear her laugh, I didn't think about my father. I didn't think about this war. But what I liked most about her, was that she reminded me of Liz Parker in almost every way. If everyone has a twin out there somewhere, Lydia was Liz's twin.

Two and a half years, I spent with Lydia. I was in love with her. We were actually engaged. But when the war ended, I knew I couldn't stay in Cincinnati. But it was she who broke it off. I think she knew that I was leaving. I think she took it upon herself to break her heart. Or not being an ego manic, she just wanted to dump me for someone who wasn't a loser.

I went back to Roswell. After three years of being away, a lot had changed.

My step-sister Maria completely lost it. I haven't seen her since before I left. They put her in an institution. She's still there.

Evans and Tess had a baby. They moved to Texas, and had another baby.

Michael and Isabel couldn't have anymore kids. So they adopted one and moved to a nice little house near mine.


I came back and I looked at Liz. I looked at her, and I saw something that Lydia didn't have. She didn't have that spark in her eyes that Liz has. That wanting to find something new. Wanting to discover something. Wanting to help people, even if it meant getting her hands dirty.

Liz and I began dating (again) a few weeks after I returned.

Maybe nine, ten months after that, Evans, Tess, their kids, Isabel, Michael, and their kids came over to Liz's house. They were going to the planet they came from. I was there that night. I didn't talk to Liz at all until the next day. I had grown up enough to understand that she needed to have her time with Evans. She spent the next day in my arms, crying her eyes out.

Liz took legal adoption of Michael and Isabel's adopted son, Caleb. Soon after they left I proposed to her. And to my surprise, she said yes.

So now, six years after our alien friends left, Liz and I live in Roswell, New Mexico. I'm the sheriff now. We live across the street from Amy and Sophia. We live there with our children, Jimmy, Evan, and Caleb.

So, I'm married to the woman of my dreams. I may not be the man of her dreams, but I'll take second place. If it means to be with Liz. Then it's worth it.

Stars VII: Maria DeLuca

When I was sixteen my best friend, Liz Parker was shot, and then healed by an alien. She told me about it. That was two years ago. Fifteen years ago, so they say. I don't believe them. I never believe them. Paranoia is the key.

It was not long after this that I became, let's say friends with an alien (Not the alien that healed Liz. They were all over each other. It was really sick.). And we engaged in some...I'm sitting here with a smile on my face. Let's leave it at that.

Okay, so things are going really well. Well as well as things can get when your dating Michael Gurrien. I think we broke up and got back together like six times. But there's something about him that makes you want to keep going back for more. I always went back for more.

And all the walls came down. They came to take me away. All the cars in the world couldn't keep me down. I couldn't like the walls. Everything fell down. And Michael was mine. And He was gone. Michael the wall fell down. Stone wall. Fell down. Deep breaths, DeLuca.

So then finally when we get it figured out that we can all date and be happy little perfect couples-Michael being far from perfect, of course- this little bitch Tess comes along and gives us all a hard time about it. I was like, 'tell it to someone who cares', but obviously Max, Michael, and Isabel took it pretty seriously.

So things get all cleared up and Max and Tess begin their little dysfunctional relationship. Michael and I didn't date, but he didn't date Isabel. But then the it happens. The government finds out about Michael, they take him, and they keep him for three frikin months. And in this three months, he and Isabel I don't know, connect or something and they fall desperately in love, goo goo eyes and all that crap.

So Liz and I discover alcohol together. She didn't like seeing Max with Tess and I didn't like seeing Michael with Isabel. I never liked Isabel anyway.

The god-forsaken woman. That fucking woman needed someone else to throw her angst on. Bitch.

Okay, so the Skins come to Earth and begin killing people off. Then the others come and they fight the Skins too. Whoop-dee-doo. That was really, the least of my worries.

Then Michael and Isabel had a child. The child that was supposed to be mine. The child that I wanted to have. Michael and I. Not him and Isabel. I can't even say her name. That name. It's like saying Satan, except I'd rather be around him. Michael and I were destiny. Real destiny.

Then they got married. My mom, my step-brother, my half sister, and my step-father all went to the wedding. I stayed home and compensated suicide. To this day there are scars on my wrists from that day.

Not long after they were married, my step-father, Jim Valenti, was killed in the war. The damn war. That damn war. I never knew any sort of father figure in my life, until he came along. He married my mom and I barely even saw him. Him dying was like my father leaving me all over again. I couldn't handle my father leaving me. I was alone. I was so alone. And I cried. I couldn't stop. The crying didn't stop. Flood.

I continued to drink. Liz was my drinking buddy for the most part, but even she would go home before I. She was using her alcohol for a crutch on lost love, and her sworn enemy, who was on our side, taking that love. I was recovering from a broken heart. But the woman who stole my love, was not my enemy. She was a person I considered a friend. I defined myself by Michael Guerin, and I liked that. He made me feel safe, no matter what the jerk he was being.

My life went on, or so I thought. My life was about two things. Abandonment. I was abandoned twice. So, I revolved my life around something that wouldn't leave me. Vodka. Or Tequila. Or anything I could get my hands on. And my hands were always full. Full of nothing. Full of everything. Full of rage.

At this point in my life, my life was leaving. My fathers were gone. Kyle was gone. Michael was gone. Liz was gone. Liz wasn't gone. I left Liz. And I don't think she cared. My mother was there, I guess, but she was so busy with the baby, It was if she cared more about her perfect child than she did her alcoholic 'angel'.

Everything is a blur now. They say the war is over. But I don't believe them. Paranoia is the key. You stay paranoid enough, you stay safe. No one can know about Max, Tess, Michael, and her. If they find out, the government will get them and after what happened to Max. And what happened to Michael, we don't want that.

I saw my mom. She brings the baby. The baby is getting big. She's almost seven. I'm seventeen at heart. I'm seventeen in mind. The baby will one day be older than me. And I will always be older than me.

I don't see Liz. I don't Alex. I don't see Kyle. My own damn step-brother doesn't come see me. I don't see Max. I don't see Tess. I don't see Michael. If I wanted to see any of them. I'd want to see Michael. Michael and the child who was supposed to be mine. My baby. And I will be happy to see him one of these days. Even if it's behind glass, I will see my baby. And I will see my destiny. The real destiny.

End