by Madgirl Insane
 
 
 

Hermione

I’ve never exactly been the girly type, all giggly and sweet and cute. Actually,
I don’t think I’m like that now. I hope. Viktor-- Viktor wasn’t real, not to me. I guess
I kind of used him. To see if maybe I was that type. I’m not.

I’m dark.

I guess I seem average, not fluffy like Parvati and Lavender but not, you know,
out there. But then again so do Ron and Harry, and they aren’t normal.
Bitter like me. How could Harry not be, I know that’s obvious, but Ron is too,
and not many people know that.

But I am dark, and I’m not going to tell you why.
That comes later, but not now. But I am dark, different. Not girly and giggly.
Imagine how surprised I was to realize I was in love.

It’s taken much too long
To get it right

Draco

So I had exploded a Filibuster Firework. Big whoop. Okay, so I shot it at Potter.
Who cared? It didn’t even explode properly. Was that any reason for a detention?
No. Stupid McGonagall. Damn her.

And worse, Hogwarts was trying out a new idea, to see if it worked.
Prefects watching the people in detention, instead of teachers wasting their
time. I’m a prefect, why do I have to be watched by one? McGonagall said
I might not be a prefect anymore if I don’t "shape up". Yeah, right. We’ll see
what Father can do about that.

But worst of all, it was stupid Granger’s night to monitor detentions.
Wouldn’t be so bad, maybe, if she didn’t hate me, but she does. For a
Mudblood, she’s not that bad. Actually, sometimes I think I like her.
Sometimes a lot, but never for very long. Then I snap out of it and think,
"Are you CRAZY, Draco? We’re talking about GRANGER here. Get a clue."

But that thought doesn’t last very long, either.

Would it be so wrong
To maybe find someone

Hermione

Prefect duty. Normally I don’t mind rules, but this was completely absurd.
Watching juvenile delinquents in my spare time? No thanks.

I read the list. Fred and George as always, Neville, poor guy,
from Snape, Barbie Markowitz, Samuel Boggis, Mikaela Jervis. . . Oh gosh. Oh, gosh.

And I knew this was fate. I had suspected that it would be him,
him that I had to tell. I had thought maybe he was the one, but hadn’t
known. I knew I had to tell somebody, but who exactly was unclear. It was fate
that I had him for detention tonight, and I had to tell him.

I had to tell Draco Malfoy.

A miracle

Draco

I sauntered in to detention, glaring at Granger, who was behind
Binns’s desk looking like it was her classroom. Cocky little Mudblood,
I thought, not really believing it.

"Draco," her voice was smooth. "Thank you for finally joining us. We
all do so appreciate it."

Draco? I don’t think she’d ever called me that, I really don’t. It’s
always Malfoy. Or Ferret Boy, but let’s not go there.

"So?" I drawled. I love drawling. "What do I have to do?"

"I need to talk to you outside," she said.

Oh great. Where does she get off? She think she’s gonna lecture me?
She’s not a teacher.

I sauntered out. Granger came out behind me, shutting the door quietly behind her.

"Yeah? You gonna lecture me? I have better things to do with my time."

"Shut up." Her voice was cold. "I have to tell you something."

And all you really need
Is everything you could never be

Hermione

His expression changed. His eyes were the same, though.
I had absolutely no idea why I was going to do what I was going to do.

"It’s important," I said. "Listen.

"My mother is dead, Malfoy."

I saw him flinch. Don’t know why, his father’s a Death Eater. He must
be able to deal with dead people by now.

"She committed suicide. She strangled herself."

His eyes still had not changed.

"My mother was the most wonderful person in the world.
She wrote poetry and sang classical songs and taught me
everything about nature. She told me about angels. She was
everything I ever wanted to be.

"You should’ve seen her the day I got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts
. She was screaming, she was jumping around, she was singing.
This was her magic, the one she had looked for all her life. And if she couldn’t
have it, she wanted me too. She was the reason I studied so hard. To make
her happy."

And so you’d give it all
For a miracle

Draco

Why was she telling me this? We weren’t friends.
We hated each other. Or we had last time I checked.

Is there a trace
Inside her face
Of a lonely miracle

Hermione

I had to keep going. I had tell him everything,
because his eyes had changed. How, I don’t know. But they had. And so I kept
telling my story.

"And then-- this summer-- Dad found her. In the living
room, dead. There was--"

And I cried. I cried, for the first time about my mother. I hadn’t
even cried at the funeral, but now I was, to Draco. I hardly even knew him.

"A note. It wasn’t-- a normal kind. It just-- it said-- Hermione, Keep going,
baby. Love, Mom."

And so you wait
And lie awake
For a lonely miracle

Draco

I looked at her. And she was different. She wasn’t a Mudblood.
She wasn’t a Gryffindor know-it-all. She was Hermione. And she was
someone I could love, someone I was loving more by the second.

"And now--" she was struggling to regain her composure, "My grades
are slipping. I just don’t care anymore. I don’t have to do it for Mom. Look
what she did to me. I feel like going, "So ha, Mom!". She doesn’t deserve it.
I don’t care. Yes I do. I love her, and I hate myself for loving her. What does
that say about me?"

You never really know
What it is
Not until it goes

Hermione

His eyes were definitely different now.

Draco

"Shut up, Hermione." She looked up at me, shocked. She thought I
was being the old Draco, the one she knew and hated. "Shut up and get
a clue. That means you’re a great person, Hermione. You can love people
even if they hurt you. Because you know love is more than that. And it is.
Love is more powerful than hate. You know that. Not many people do."

She was looking up at me. I loved her, at that moment I knew.
I looked back at her. My nose was nearly touching hers, I could feel the
heat from her face.

"And believe me," I said softly, I said, moving even closer,
"There is another person who loves you."

I kissed her.

And if it comes again
It’s a miracle

Hermione

We kissed. We kissed and I could feel the magic running through us.
Real, true magic, the greatest magic. Not like magic they do in this school,
but a different magic. The magic of us.

But what you miss is love
In everything below and up above

Draco

There was no word to describe to describe the way I felt, and if there
was, it wouldn’t be enough. Nothing could ever be enough.

And she pulled away from me.

And she could bring it all
A miracle

Hermione

I pulled away from him.

"What?" Draco whispered.

"Just--no. It’s not. . ." I paused.

"It’s not what? It is! Don’t you get it? I’m okay now! I’m happy!
Everything’s okay now! You’re-- and I’m-- it’s right."

"It’s not," I said.

"Of course it is! How can it not be! We’ve finally-- it’s-- I want to be-- with you."

"Dammit, Draco," I swore, frustrated. "You think I don’t too? I do.
But think about it. What do you think’s gonna happen?
Our friends will accept it? Our teachers will accept it? Most importantly,
you think your father will accept it?"

He opened his mouth to speak, then shut it.

I knew this was killing him like it was killing me.

All you wanted was a miracle
All you needed was a miracle
A miracle

Draco

"It doesn’t have to be like that," I said.

"Oh, yeah, Draco. I’m sure if you sit down Crabbe and Goyle and
Pansy and your dad and rationally explain this to them, they’ll understand.
Same with Harry and Ron. And then we’ll all do a happy dance. And
Voldemort will give Harry a box of chocolates. And Dumbledore will reveal
that him and Snape are in love. And Hagrid will tell us that he’s secretly Donny
Osmond in DISGUISE!"

I laughed. I had never known she could be this funny, and I told her so.

"Is that all this is to you?" she asked angrily.

"No, of course not," I said. "I’m just pretending it is. I’m a Malfoy, for
God’s sake. Of course I’m pretending it is."

"So-- now what?" Her voice was small, miniscule.

Wish I knew.

Hermione

I answered my own question. "Now we figure out if we can do this. If us is doable."

"Of course it is." He was sure.

"Is it? Think, Draco." Why was I saying this? I didn’t know.

"We'll lose our friends. If your father finds out he’ll probably
marry you off to Pansy Parkinson or something."

"So what? I can do without Crabbe or Goyle. With you I can. And your not as
attached to Potter and Weasley as you may think." It was true. I had grown
apart from them this year. "Why can’t we try and then, at least, we’ll have been
together for a little while."

I didn’t want to answer. I knew I had to.

"Because that’ll make it harder to let go, Draco. It’s hard enough already."

He thought about that. We both did. After awhile he spoke.

"So now what?" he whispered.

I knew it had to be. And I knew with all my heart that I had never wanted not to
be as much as I did this, nor would I ever again.

"Now we say goodbye."

He nodded. He knew, just as I knew, that it had to be.

"Goodbye, Hermione."

"Goodbye, Draco."

I ran. I ran. I never heard him as he watched me run away, "I’ll always love you..."

But I know he did.

Because as I ran away, I said it, too.

To maybe find someone
A miracle
A miracle