O yea. VERY IMPORTANT- This takes place after my fic, Dark Blood. So if you hear anything about an
ancient family secret about the Malfoys, and you don't know what it is...it may be a good idea to go read Dark
Blood first. Thanx

Rated PG

I'm Not In Love, No, Not At All

by PikaCheeka
 
 
 

Prologue

My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a Slytherin 5th year. I attend Hogwarts School for Witchcraft
and Wizardry. I have learned a lot here, about potions, transfiguration, caring for dragons and
unicorns, stuff like that. I also learn how to defend myself against the dark arts, which I think is
idiotic. I mean, that’s like taking classes on how to destroy my own father. But I have also learned
some other things there. About how you can’t buy away love and replace it with better feelings
[now you know why I’m a Slytherin], and about how love can only buy humiliation, anger, and pain.
 
 
 

Chapter 1

I arrived for Potions late. I do a lot, Professor Snape doesn’t care. Why should he? He’s the
head of the Slytherin House. "Sit down Draco..." he muttered lamely, picking up his potions
book. "Open up to page 117 now, class."

"If he were in Gryffindor, he’d be dead." Ron Weasley muttered behind me. I turned around
and smirked at him, just to prove a point. "But I’m not."

"It’s a good thing too." Harry glowered at me. "I couldn't stand being in your house."

"10 points from Gryffindor. You know not to talk, Potter!" Snape snapped.

I slumped into my seat, grinning maliciously. Snape hated Potter. It was no wonder. His father’s
friend played a trick on Snape when they were in school. The trick would’ve killed him, but
Harry’s father saved him at the last minute. Now he thinks he’s in debt, and like all Slytherins,
he hates that. So he takes it out on Potter. It’s kind of funny. Unfortunately, I have to have a
little respect from James Potter, without him, I wouldn’t have the perfect teacher to walk in late
on. Heck, I can even make fun of people in front of him.

I slowly pulled out my Potions book, starring off into space. Until Pansy jumped on my desk,
that is. "Hi Draco..." she grinned.

I groaned inwardly, but forced a small smile back. That seemed to satisfy her, because she
turned away again. She was still sitting on my desk, of course, but Snape would yell at her
in a minute.

Then she looked at me again. "Why were you late?"

"O, I forgot my homework in the common room." I shrugged.

"O, poor Draco..." she simpered. I wanted to flip my desk over and knock her off. She's such
a flirt. Just because I danced with her last year. But that was only because there weren't that many
Slytherin girls. And nobody in the other houses dared go out with a Slytherin. Even though a lot of
them cast longing glances at me when they raided the halls, looking for a dance partner. I hate
dances, the only reason I went was to laugh at Potter. Now that I think of it, it wasn't worth it.

"Pansy, please sit down." Snape shouted.

"But I am sitting Professor..." she whined. "And Draco doesn't mind...do you widdle Drakey?"

I heard Ron snort into his book. I dared not look at him or any other Gryffindor.

"I do mind actually." I muttered.

She sighed and slid off.

After an hour and a half, Potions ended. It was lunch next. So everybody was really eager to
get away. I slid everything off my desk into my waiting bag on the floor, then shouldered it and
stalked off, hoping to avoid Pansy, wherever she was. I tried to get out the door, but smashed
head on into Granger. She, Harry, and Ron were laughing abut 'widdle Drakey'.

I angrily shoved her out of the way. She cried out and smacked me. I would have hit her back,
but she was a girl, and others were watching. A passing Ravenclaw 7nth year shouted "You go,
girl!" I scowled, clutching the side of my face. "You had better watch it mudblood. Now that
Voldemort is back, you aren't safe..." I said it very quietly, so only her and maybe Harry could
hear. Then I sneered at her and strode off through the crowded halls.

Upon arriving in the Slytherin common room, I dumped my stuff on the floor and flopped down
in front of the fire. It was tinted green. I would have gone to lunch, but I didn't want to face anyone
right away. And this room is always empty at lunch, no goodie-goodies trying to get extra work
done or studying. My face still hurt, so after a minute, I got up and looked in the mirror. Sure
enough, my right cheek was red. "I could kill her." I said softly. "If I kill her, I'd be safe." I was
glad that the room was empty. I didn't want anyone listening to me. The thing is, I realized over
the past few months that I like Hermione. She's a mudblood, an ugly one at that. And a Gryffindor.
And a goody goody. And a friend of Potter. I wanted to hate her with a passion, with my whole
self, like the way I hate Potter and Dumbledore. But I can't. My heart likes her. Sometimes the
thought of it wants to make me kill somebody. Like my father would probably kill me if he ever
found out.

The only thing he cares about is following Voldemort's orders and carrying on the family line.
That's why my mother is so...ugh. Not that I would ever ever even think of marrying Hermione,
but he is known to skip conclusions.

I shuddered at the thought of even dancing with Hermione.

I sighed and leaned against the sink, staring into the mirror. The Draco who stared back at me
was the Draco that every Slytherin loved and worshipped. The Draco with the father in Voldemort's
inner circle, the Draco with the good looks, the Draco with the ancient family line, the Draco who's
a pureblood, the Draco who is the Quidditch Seeker...the list goes on. Well, everyone says I have
good looks. I'm considered the new school cutie now that Cedric is dead.

My silver blonde hair sticks up in odd spikes, not quite straight, curly, or wavy. I guess it's spikes
that are waved on the sides and spiked on the end. They hang over my forehead, five of them to
be exact, and stick up everywhere else. A few in the back touch my collar, but then again, everything
I wear is black and high collared. It accents my paleness.

My eyes are cold and gray. They are sometimes silver, and look immensely angry, especially when
I don't get enough sleep and they have nasty shadows under them.

And I have high cheekbones, a narrow chin, high thin eyebrows, and a stubborn jaw. My mouth is
merely a thin line, frowning deeply at the moment. Paleness, barely any color in me at all, hair and
all. Not that anybody else knew my secret, nobody knew what I really was, except Father and
Voldemort...

I sighed again and turned away. All I could think of was stupid Hermione and how much I liked,
no, hated her.

After a moment, I headed down to the Great Hall. I wasn't hungry, but I figured I would be after
an hour or so. Unfortunately, it was ending by the time I got there, I guess I had spent a lot longer
in front of the mirror then I expected.

Hermione, once again, stood in the doorway. She was looking very grouchy. "Hello, Draco." She
snapped. She raised her hand. I expected her to slap me again, so I ducked. When I realized that
she hadn't I glanced up.

"I hope you get expelled for praising Voldemort in this school." She glared at me.

"And I hope," I straightened up, so we were eye level. "That you die. Because I hate you."
 
 
 

Chapter 2

It took me a second to realize what I had said. It did for her too. She stared at me, her mouth
open. Then she broke down and started crying. I, on the other hand, broke down and ran.

I ran outside, toward the lake. For some reason, the words to a muggle song pounded in my
head. Pansy loves muggle songs, and fills the common room every night with them. This particular
one I kind of liked. Not that I'd ever admit that.
 

Don't think that you got me girl
Don't think you can tame me and change me
Don't think that it's all because of you
 

That part was like me.
 

Just because I don't run around

Just because we're forever together
 

I couldn't help but gag. Us, together at all?
 

Don't you think of a four letter word to use
 

That was like me. I swore all the time, the only real swear to me was 'love'. I noticed it made
my father all tense too. I mean, there was no point in it. It was just a stupid feeling that made
everybody inflicted by it all sappy and vulnerable. It was better to avoid it completely, that
way, no-one could hurt you.
 

So what if I just don't want anybody else but you
So what if you're all I ever really wanted too
I know what you're thinking, but it doesn't make it true, believe me baby...
I'm not in love, no not at all
What makes you think, you made me fall?
I slip but no
I'm not in love
What if I just can't sleep at night
I see your face in the starry sky
So high above...but girl, I'm not in love
Don't think that you've got it made
Don't think it's so easy to keep me
Never know, it could all just fade away
 

I forced myself to stop thinking about it at that line. I wanted to remember that line. I wanted
it to all just fade away. Then it would be easy. But right now I only have two options. One, I
could kill her. Two, I could kill myself.

The latter didn't appeal to me, but if I did the first, I would get kicked out of school, and
enrage father even further. I sat down hard on the cold ground.

"Well," I said, talking to nobody. "The next vacation is in a few days. I could go home. And
until them, I could try to avoid her. "It might work."

With that thought in mind, I stood up again. I brushed myself off, even though the ground was
so frozen there was no loose dirt to brush off. Then I ran off back to the school, hoping no
teacher had missed me.
 
 
 

Chapter 3

My tactic worked surprisingly well. I had gone two whole days without saying a single word
to Hermione. And tomorrow vacation started, I was safe. I sighed and leaned back in the
chair in the common room. Even though it's a dungeon, there's still a window, a small one. But
I could tell it was still snowing. It had been for a while. There was at least a foot.

I watched the snow until it made me dizzy. It does that, weird stuff does. And then I guess
I dozed off.

"Hey! Malfoy! Wake up!" a voice woke me up. It also caused me to jump, which caused
many in the room to laugh. I scowled at them, and they immediately shut up. Nobody likes
to make me mad, which is fine by me.

I turned around. Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy stood behind me. Crabbe had yelled.

"There's a bunch of Gryffindors outside, want to go throw snowballs at them?" Pansy smirked.
She thinks I'll like her more if she smirks a lot.

I glanced out the window. Sure enough, Granger was among them. A few wild excuses raced
through my head. I wanted to avoid her, but how could I say that without looking like a wimp?
"Ummm...OK." I sighed and got up. Pansy eagerly grabbed my arm and dragged me off to
the door. I pulled away. "I have to get my cloak!" I shouted. She's enough to drive me mad
sometimes.

Without thinking, I picked up a clump of snow. I crushed it into a small ball, then shoved some
ice into it.

"Who are you gonna hit first?" Goyle asked, watching me stupidly.

"Potter, of course." I smirked, looking for him. He wasn't there.

"Hit Hermione then." Pansy whispered.

Just my luck.

I had to, I couldn't say no. That would arouse suspicion. I wanted to hit her, but then she'd
notice me and come over and yell at me. I sighed again and threw it at her as hard as I could.

It hit her in the back of her head, my target. She cried out and fell forward. I noticed with
satisfaction that the books she was holding flew from her hands and onto the ice of the lake.

I laughed maliciously. Forgotten was the fact that I had to ignore her.

Suddenly, something smacked me upside the head. I almost fell forward, but caught myself
in time. I whirled around as fast Harry in the face. He swore at me and sat on the ground,
holding his now bleeding nose.

Ron grabbed me by the collar of my cloak and pulled me two inches off the ground. It was
embarrassing enough I'm two inches shorter then everybody else, he didn't have to emphasize
on the fact that I weigh about half as much as a fifteen year old boy should, seventy six pounds.

"See that book Hermione dropped?" he said calmly.

"Maybe if you let go of my neck I could turn around." I gasped out. He was choking me,
unintentional or not, I don't know.

He sighed and dropped me. "Go and get it."

"I'll fall through the ice."

"Hey. You weigh nothing." He smirked. He knew my weaknesses somehow.

Harry, from the ground, muttered something that was indistinguishable.

I turned on my heel and stomped off, kicking up snow at the other Gryffindors as I passed
them.

It took me all of two minutes to get to the book, luckily, I didn't slip and look like an idiot in
front of anyone. I reached down and grabbed it up, unable to hide the look of triumph on my
face. "I have your stupid book!" I sneered, causing Pansy to burst into laughter. Probably
fake, I thought darkly. That was until I heard the loud crack.

"Draco?..." Harry said somewhat loudly. "The ice..."

The ice cracked. I fell through. It was awful, like icy daggers. I grabbed at the edge and
doubled over in pain, under water, which is never good. "I can see that the damn ice broke!"
I shouted when I resurfaced. "Now go and get help, you idiots!"

Deep down in me, I knew I would die. My conscious was already fading. But I wanted my
last words to be mean. After I said them however, I was left alone with my true worries. I
was going to die out here, all alone in the water. It was immensely cold.....

It's all Granger's fault.

At least, when I die, I won't be cold anymore.

Maybe Potter would be expelled.

Then the blackness rushed in.
 
 
 

Chapter 4

It was white. All white.

Maybe I'm in heaven, I thought dimly. My brain was still foggy.

But I wasn't sure how I could be there. I have a father named after the devil.

"O for heavens sake, Draco. Stop hiding under the covers..." a voice said.

I guess I am in heaven.

"Father?" I whispered for the heck of it.

"O good, you're awake. I thought you were dead." It wasn't anybody I knew.

"I am dead." I whispered.

"You are not! You must have hit your head too." The whiteness vanished. I moaned. I realized
I was in a bed, and the whiteness had been a blanket. I felt extremely stupid.

It wasn't my father. It couldn't be anyhow. But it wasn't my mother either. It was Madame
Pomfrey.

I shot up. She grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down again. I didn't protest. I didn't have
the energy. "What am I doing here?"

"You nearly drowned. You've been unconscious for three days now." She sighed.

"But why am I here? I should be home..."

"You know your father. He isn't exactly....the parenting type..." she muttered.

"Don't say that! He is!" I cried. I hate people who make fun of my father.

"O well. You're here now. It's Christmas. I think you should be able to go down to the
dinner."

"It's Christmas?????" I gasped.

"Yes, your parents sent in enough presents for the whole school."

I smirked. They always did. I just loved to rub it in other people's faces that I'm richer then
anybody else.

"But for now, you ought to thank your saviors." It was her turn to smirk at me. "I'll leave you
alone for an hour..." she turned and swept from the room.

"Where are my saviors?" I muttered darkly, not daring to look around. I knew who they would be.

"Ummmm......" Somebody said behind me.

"Go 'way..." I mumbled, hiding my face again. How embarrassing.

"O, stop being a baby. We just saved your life!" Hermione whipped the blanket off my head.
I silently thanked Madame Pomfrey for leaving me in my clothes, and not a stupid hospital gown.
I guess they were to frozen to get off of me. I curled up and scowled at her. "What happened?"
I said finally.
 
 
 

Chapter 5

"Well..." Ron started, but Harry interrupted.

"You fell in. And you called for help. Stupid Pansy fainted, but not before smacking me and
yelling at us. Crabbe and Goyle ran off to go and get Hagrid. But Hermione said that you would
be dead by the time they got there. So we had to edge out there and pull you out. Luckily, we
didn't fall in." He shrugged.

"Why are you so mean to Hermione anyway?" Ron suddenly asked.

Without thinking, I blurted out. "I like her."

I gasped and fell back on my bed. "I didn't say that! I didn't say that!" I howled.

Hermione looked startled. "Seriously?" she was turning very red.

"Shut up you...will you go out with me?" I realized that my brain must still be frozen.

She was taken aback, for a second. "Me? Go out with you?????" Then she leaned forward.
"Well, the answer is.....NO!" she suddenly screamed and smacked me across the face.

"Don't hit the invalids..." Ron snorted, before falling on the floor, laughing. Harry followed suit.

I glanced around the room. I noticed with a start a long narrow package on the foot of my
bed. Good, I thought. I'll have my revenge soon enough. I guess I smiled, because Ron and
Harry straightened up. "We have stuff for you."

"Really?" I said quietly. "Not another smack, I should say?"

"Boys don't smack, we punch..." Harry grinned, holding out a present.

I warily picked it up. To my surprise, it was a large box full of stuff from Quality Quidditch
Supplies. I carefully examined everything, keeping one eye on Harry. I had a feeling that
something was bombed or something like that. But nothing was.

Then Ron held out his present.

"I really don't trust this one." I stared at them.

"You can't trust Hermione's present, but this one is safe."

It was. This was weird. It was a bunch of stuff from Zonko's Joke Shop, one being never
unwrapping wrapping paper. I guess it was new.

"I can't give you mine now..." Hermione hissed softly.

By this time, I was my usual Christmas self. I snatched it away.

"No! Don't!" she cried.

Harry and Ron started laughing again.

"What is it? It's very heavy. It's probably a book....."

"No no. It's worse then that..." she moaned.

It was very large box of chocolate frogs.
 
 
 

Chapter 6

I opened my mouth to scream or make some other unearthly noise. But at that moment,
Madame Pomfrey bustled back in, humming loudly. She handed all four of us a bag.

"What are these for?" Harry asked.

"O, you have to help Draco carry his presents up to the Common Room. The password is
Death Eater, it will be changed in twenty minutes, so hurry up."

"Death Eater?" Harry stared at me. "Pleasant password." He knew my father was one.

"What's wrong with that?" I smirked.

Pomfrey shuddered.

After a minute, Ron started shoveling presents into a bag. Everyone else did the same. I sat
there, putting on my hiking boots.

"Death Eater." I said loudly, because nobody else would say it. I love the way they cringe.
Makes me feel so powerful. The wall slid open. Hermione gasped when she entered. She
looked around, at the stone walls, uncut stone walls, the low ceiling, the strange fire, all the
chairs. "Doesn't seem that cozy." She muttered.

"We Slytherins don't care about coziness."

Harry and Ron shrugged, as if they've seen it all before. I don't know how they could. But
o well. I didn't really care. I ran up to my dorm and dumped everything on my bed.

"What's that?" Harry pointed to the long box. I noticed a hint of panic in his voice.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I whispered. He knew what it was. I knew what it was. It was
a Firebolt.

When we got back to the Great Hall, everyone was already eating. There was just one table,
provided the few people staying. Maybe twenty. I had to sit next to Hermione, it was the only
space left. She was staring at me oddly, shuddering occasionally. Harry and Ron continually
snorted into their food. I realized with a startled shock that I didn't like her anymore. What
was the point if she hated me?

"Hey!" I jumped up, suddenly shouting. "I'm not in love anymore! I'M FREE FROM THE
EVIL BURDEN!!!!!!" I started laughing maliciously.

I suddenly realized the silence. I opened my eyes and cocked my head. I was standing on the
table, my fists were up in the air, and everyone was staring at me.

"O...I guess I'm still a little weird from all the water..." I muttered, sitting down again. I
accidentally sat on Hermione's hand, which was on the seat. "Oh!" I cried. Then figuring I had
better make it her fault, I barked, "Stop touching my butt you freak!"

"Like I would want to! You sat on me!" she cried shrilly and yanked her hand away, not that
it mattered. I had jumped up the second I realized.

I was positively burning with rage. Everyone was laughing at us. Dumbledore the hardest. Why
did this stuff always happen to me?

"Well, I hate you now, so HA!" I smirked at her.

"O! My little Draco! Now you can love me!" a familiar voice cooed into my ear. I jumped and
started to turn around. But before I could, Pansy grabbed me around the neck in a hug and
dragged me to the floor.

"AAAH! Get offa me!" I shouted, pulling away.

"O, it's all right, Draco! I know you're shy...I stayed here all for you!" she grinned.

"Good for you. Now get away." I slumped into my seat again. She, being the idiot she was,
shrugged and flounced off.

"Well, "Harry finally said. "Now that you don't love anybody anymore, you can go back to
being your usual evil, vile self."

"Like you haven't already..." Ron added.

"How right you are, how right you are..." I smirked evilly, knowing just how true it was, and
how much they would feel my vengeful wrath.
 
 
 

A/n- I know I left it a weird point. Sorry...if you liked it, hated it, think it's weird, tell me! I love reviews...