Wanting Someone Who Doesn't Love You

It's not a mere statement, it's a truth. Never. I am nothing, she's nothing. Our love could be alike only to the son of two fishes in different aquariums. Born dead, because he needs the water he can't have. Twitching and aching on air, between the pained faces of his parents.

Oh, I tried to find a way. Hard. I could work it out, I said to myself once, but now I know I was only a foolish dreamer. Me, with a muggle-born witch- not that I despise her, but my world just hates her with all the force one can use. She of course hates me- how couldn't she, me, a-

Yet I pray at night and hope all the day. Please make her mine, please protect her from me, and from the others too. I don't want anybody to hurt her. I'd falsify her papers if I knew how, and if she'd bore it, just to save her from Voldemort and my companions. But I know my acts would be only seen like treachery and lies, and that she's so proud she would turn it back in its first true form. Granger, Hermione. Born September 19th, 1981. Father: Stan Granger (m); mother: Anne Evans (m), and so on. (m), muggles. I saw it once, and I can recite it by heart. What a silly thing. As sweet, as silly as my love.

                                                                           I just found me a bottle of blues
                                                                     some strange confort for a soul to soothe
                                                                               Ain’t it hard ain’t it hard
                                                                    to want somebody who doesn’t want you.

Beck, "Bottle of blues", Mutations, 1998

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