Chapter
12
Running
Scared Cold Alone
He cleared
his throat and straightened himself up. “I should let you get some rest.
It may be that
I can’t live
without you, for some unknown reason that’s etched into fate and destiny...but
I do
not, in any
way, have room for you in my heart. You still remain what you have always
been
there.”
“Draco Malfoy.”
She called out, sitting up on the bed. “I know...that you’re not telling
the truth.
I know that
you don’t hate me.”
“How so? How
can you presume something like that? Love is like spun-glass, it can break
at
any time...how
can you say...”
“Every chance
you have had to kill me, you haven’t. You’ve simply let me live. You told
me that
if I didn’t
do what I was told, you would kill me and my family. My family are already
dead, but
I am still
alive at the mercy of your hand. Even when I tried to take my own worthless
life, you
saved me.
And even now, Draco, I mentioned nothing of love. It was you, who did that.”
“Love is for
the weak and fickle. Shallow men are willing to give their hearts to frivolous
women,
only to have
them torn apart. I don’t think love is part of me, nor do I wish for it
to be. It’s just
another wretched
barrier we put up against the slings and arrows of life. It’s a pointless
illusion...
it dilutes
our true perceptions of reality.”
“Stop trying
to fool yourself. Obsession, hate, love...what difference does it make?
Live a little,
Draco.”
He glared at
her, but somehow, his glare didn’t have the same venom any more. It lacked,
and
seemed hollow
now, almost like it was a mask he slipped on.
“Stop lecturing me, you filthy-”
“Filthy what?
Huh? Go ahead, yell some stupid name at me. You save my life and then you
freak out
because for once you’ve felt another emotion apart from senseless hatred.
Well let me
tell you something
Draco Malfoy. You aren’t the ice-king you think you are. You’re the Dark
Lord, no denying
that. But you turn away from emotion. Every time you come close to feeling
anything,
you pull those walls of ice up around you again and deny the very things
that make you
human. But
those feelings are still there, whether you have a soul or not. You may
turn away
from me...but
you can’t turn away from yourself.”
He had lost
control of the situation. Like a dew drop that trickled off the gentle
edge of a flower
petal, it
had simply fallen away from him. He turned. She was watching him, her eyes
following
his every
move. Her eyes were holding something. What? Contempt? Care? Concern? Dare
he
even think
it, love??
He left, not wanting to, yet feeling vague of everything and needing to.
He ran, almost
feeling her angelic presence beside him through the stony darknesses and
down
the endless
stairs of night. His breathing was erratic and frantic.
He felt ashamed.
Dark Lord Draco Malfoy; Scared, frightened, alone, ashamed...shattered.
It
was like the
voices of his victims had come to haunt him. He himself was spun-glass
and crystal
and ice and
sugar. He had been shattered. Seeming perfect porcelain...flawed and tainted.
He
didn’t want
to feel anything. Being numb was all that there was. It kept him where
he was, on
a high pedastal
away from everyone and everything. Up here in the bitter cold, he couldn’t
be
touched.
A greasy thick voice beside his ear. “If you love something let it go...”
Draco turned and looked at the form of Severus Snape.
“And if she does not return?”
“Then she was
never yours in the first place.”
a/n: thank.u
so much to every1 who has reviewed...your response has been so positive
and it's so encouraging
to me. It
really inspires me, knowing that there are people out there like you guys
that are willing to read and
give such
good feedback.
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