Disclaimer:
This story contains graphic descriptions of gay sex, male pregnancy and birth. It's unquestionably weird. If that offends you, please don't read it. Likewise, do not read or save it if you are under 18, or if by doing so you would be committing any sort of crime.
The Joe Luck Club By Greyson Moore,
greyenmoor@hotmail.com
Joe Kim wandered in to the strange little herb shop out of curiosity. His Chinese grandmother was convinced that Chinese herbalists' could cure every ill. His grandmother always said that after many years of not being able to have a child, she went to see an herbalist and he gave her an herb potion and then his father was born.
Joe's Father, who was a doctor, had always thought this was superstitious nonsense. For some reason though, Joe had never felt entirely sure about his father's belief. Joe had never been into an herb shop and when he found himself in front of one, he decided to investigate.
The shop was very small, very dark, and filled with pungent aromas. An extremely, elderly, but spry gentleman was behind the counter. "May I help you find something," said the old man in a heavy Cantonese accent? "Just looking," responded Joe.
"I can see by your face," said the old man, "that you are looking for something in particular." "Perhaps you are troubled by something and wish to have some soothing herbs?" "Just looking," said Joe. "Let me show you what I have," said the old man. "Really, I just want to look," said Joe politely. The old man ignored Joe's remark as he showed Joe his various herbs and potions.
As Joe was ready to leave, the old man said, "I have something to help you have a child." Joe's jaw dropped in amazement. Joe had wanted to have a child for a long time. But, he was gay and had no intention of having sex with a woman to produce a child. He had also thought about hiring a surrogate mother, but he worried that the mother may decide to keep the child. He didn't know why he wanted a child so badly. He wondered if it was the desire to carry on the family name.
Joe responded, "I'm not married or even dating." "You do not need a woman to have a child," said the old man without the least bit of self-consciousness. Joe blurted out, "right." "So, you do not believe me," said the old man with anger. "I'm sorry, but I don't," replied Joe. "I know where babies come from."
The old man replied, "you do not know everything." So saying, the old man walked to the back of the shop and returned with a bottle. He handed the bottle to Joe. Joe read the label on the bottle out loud, "Male Pregnancy Herbs." "And how does this stuff work," said Joe? "You must insert this potion into your penis," said the old man. "How," said Joe? "I would suggest a turkey baster," said the old man.
"What," said Joe incredulously? Joe knew what a baster was and suspected that he would have to inject the potion into his urethra, but he was certain his pee hole wouldn't stretch out enough to accommodate the end of the baster. "Buy one with an injector nozzle," said the old man. "They have them at the supermarket down the street." Joe looked at the man with skepticism.
"You still do not believe that a man can have a baby, do you," said the old man? "No I don't," said Joe with a slight hesitation. "When a baby if first conceived, it has no sex," said the old man. "As the fetus grows, it becomes male or female." "Testes and ovaries come from the same tissue and so do the penis and vagina." Joe was impressed by the old man's medical knowledge.
"This potion converts one testicle temporarily into an ovary," continued the old man. "A man's own sperm them fertilizes his own egg." Joe was intrigued about being both a biological mother and a father to his child. "How much for the potion," asked Joe suddenly? "A thousand dollars," said the old man with no sense of shame. "Too much," said Joe. "Come now, is a thousand dollars too much to pay for a desired child," said the old man? "Beside, I guarantee it will work or your money back."
Joe shook his head as he walked out of the store with the potion. He could not believe he gave the man a check for a thousand dollars. He wondered if he was loosing his mind. He was also amazed at how desperate to have a child he appeared to be.
When Joe got home he went into his bedroom and removed his clothes. He looked over his middle-aged body in the mirror on the wall and was proud of what he saw. His muscle tone was still high; no middle aged spread had take over his body. He wondered if he did get pregnant would he have a son that looked exactly like him since he would be both mother and father. He had know doubt that he would produce a son if he did get pregnant.
He had purchased the turkey baster with a nozzle like the old man suggested. He screwed the nozzle onto the end of the baster and threw it on the bed in disgust. "I am not putting that thing inside of me," he said to himself. He sat down on the bed and looked at the baster. "Maybe if I put a lot of lube on the tip, it won't be so bad." "He went into the bathroom and returned with a towel and a jar of petroleum jelly.
He removed the rubber bulb on the end of the baster and put his thumb on the end of the nozzle. He opened the bottle of potion and slowly poured it into the baster tube. He squeezed the rubber bulb and put it back on the baster. He let go of the bulb, which caused the potion to be sucked up into the bulb itself.
When he was certain the priceless potion wouldn't leak out of the nozzle, he slathered the nozzle with the petroleum jelly. Joe looked down at his stiff penis. He had become rigidly erect from the thought of what he was about to do. His pee hole seemed to gape open in anticipation of being filled. Joe put the greasy nozzle head at the end of the hole and gently pushed it in. He urethra resisted being penetrated, but Joe was determined to continue even if it caused him some pain.
He was surprised how once he got a small portion of the nozzle in the rest of the nozzle slid in. He gently squeezed the nozzle, which expelled the potion into his phallus. Joe thought it would burn, but it was extremely pleasurable. It was like he was ejaculating in reverse. Joe wanted to masturbate, but he was afraid he would squirt out the precious potion before it could do its work. Joe went to bed that night very horny.
When he awoke the next morning he felt a little strange. He disrobed and looked at himself in the mirror. Nothing about his body appeared different. He was disappointed until he noticed his nipples. His diminutive nipples had swollen up a little bit overnight. He could now actually get a hold of them and pull. That was enough to thoroughly arouse Joe. He began to pump his dick for all it was worth and pull on his nipples until he had an unusually strong series of orgasms and shot a large creamy load. His penis expelled it with such force that it hit the ceiling. After Joe rested from his orgasm he decided to get a mop so that he could scrub his sperm off of the ceiling before it dried. As he walked into the kitchen to get the mop, he felt an unusual heaviness between his legs.
He looked down and noticed that his scrotum had doubled in size. He was suddenly hard again and horny. He forgot all about the ceiling and the mop. He had to get off. He sat down on one of the chairs and masturbated furiously until he had another series of orgasms and shot another voluminous load.
Joe cleaned up the spermy mess he had made in the kitchen and the bedroom. He was a little reluctant to clean up the mess though because he was very pleased with himself for making it. After the mess was cleaned-up he cleaned himself up then went to work. He didn't believe any of this had to do with the potion. He thought it was all do to being excited by the idea of being able to get pregnant.
For the next four months Joe did nothing but work long hours at his job and masturbate to relieve all of the tension. Another company had bought the company he worked for and the new management was changing everything. For a while Joe felt sick every morning. He attributed this to the stress of having to work seven days a week. He had also noticed that he was beginning to get a middle-aged spread because he wasn't able to work out like he had in the past.
One night as he lay in bed tugging on his nipples while he masturbated, he noticed a discharge coming from one of his nipples. It was only a slight discharge, but Joe was aroused by it. He wondered if his constant tugging on his nipples while he masturbated has caused them to continue to grow and begin to lactate. He wondered if he kept tugging on them if he could get them to be huge. Big nipples on other guys had always turned him on and now that his were big he wanted them huge.
After about six months his gut was enormous. "I've got to get to a gym," said Joe in disgust as he looked at his big belly in the mirror. The rest of his body was still hard and firm. His pecs also were still hard and firm but nipples that looked like Playtex nursers now crowned them.
Things at work had settled down so Joe made good on his plan and started working out again, but his gut continued to grow. One night a the gym a good-looking and well-muscled guy walked over to Joe and said, "what's with the gut?" He then touched Joe's sweatshirt, which barely covered his bulging belly. Joe felt a sudden twinge in his stomach. The guy felt it. "If I didn't know better," said the man, "I would say you were knocked-up cause I could swear I felt a baby kick." "Better lay off of the beers," said the man chuckling as he walked away. "Maybe I am pregnant," said Joe under his breath. "You got a problem with that."
Joe was sweating like pig when he went into the showers. He began to slather his body with soap. Suddenly, he heard a deep bass voice say, "need some help buddy?" It was the tummy toucher. Before Joe could respond, he began to soap up Joe's back. "Ya know, I like men with big guts," he said as he soaped. "I really get turned on by men with big guts," he said as he exposed his erection. "I like to think I am so fertile that I got them pregnant," he said as he began to play with himself. "I must of stuck it in your butt without a rubber," he said as he stroked himself more rapidly.
Watching the guy masturbate excited Joe. His erection stuck straight up into the air. "Do your titties give milk," asked the guy as he rapidly beat his meat? "Sure do," responded Joe as he began to stroke his own dick. "Wanna see." Joe began to pull on his nipples like he was milking a cow. "Come on babe," said the guy, "milk those titties for Papa." "Yeah milk those titties for me." The guy soon shot his load all over Joe. He quickly washed up and left the shower leaving Joe all alone.
The guy had excited Joe. He had to drain his balls. He began to pull harder on his tits until they began to leak. Feeling the warm milk dribble out of his tits caused Joe's cock to explode. He had never felt so alive in his life.
That night in bed, Joe wondered if he was really pregnant. As he pondered, he felt another twinge in his stomach and he knew the answer. He went into work the next day and told his boss that he had to have leave under the family leave act. He said that he had a sick relative that needed his attention for a few months. Joe was an excellent worker and never asked for much, so his boss reluctantly granted his request.
Joe's family had a cabin at lake that they used during the summer. Now that winter had arrived Joe knew it would be empty. He figured his baby was conceived in June so it should be due sometime in March. He stocked the cabin with everything he thought he would need for the next few months.
For the next three months, Joe's belly continued to swell. His nipples had stopped growing but had turned a dark brown and were producing more and more milk. Joe was as horny as ever and ceased to wear clothes around the cabin because he was constantly masturbating and the clothes were too confining. He had even taken to drinking some of the milk his tits had produced which made him even hornier.
One day as Joe was outside chopping wood for the fire, he felt like he felt an incredible need to urinate. He didn't think he could make it back to the cabin. He pulled down his sweatpants and let it rip into the snow. He wizzed more than he had ever wizzed in his life. He felt he had sprayed out at least a gallon. He also noticed that his penis had begun to swell up. By the time he was done, he couldn't even get his bloated penis back into his sweatpants. There just was not enough room left to get it back in.
Joe forgot about the firewood and headed quickly back to the cabin while his exposed penis grew larger and larger. By the time he got back to the cabin and shut the door it was as big around as a five-pound coffee can and showed no signs of stopping. His stomach suddenly began to spasm. Joe knew it was time.
He was scared. He wondered how his baby was going to get out. He hadn't even thought that he might need a doctor to perform a caesarian on him. He wondered if he and the baby were going to die, because he had no way to call for an ambulance. And even if he did he would be too embarrassed to explain to the dispatcher what was happening.
The spasms in his stomach began to come faster and faster causing him to lie down on the bed. His penis was now as wide as his hips and the end was leaking. Suddenly he felt a spasm in his penis, then another.
He felt a sharp pain in his penis. He thought his penis was going to explode. He looked down and saw the head of ababy coming out of the end. It then occurred to him that his baby was conceived through his urethra maybe it would be born through his urethra. He began push like he was trying to get the last drops of urine out.
With one mighty push his baby was born. As soon as the umbilical cord hit the air, it began to dry. It then broke off. His penis began to rapidly shrink. Joe picked up his baby and held him to his chest where he began to suckle.
Joe fell asleep that night with his baby next to him in the bed. When he awoke the next morning he was back in his own bed. His body covered in his own semen. Joe swore as he realized that all the potion seemed to have done was produce one incredible wet dream. He didn't even notice his swollen nipples and enlarged scrotum.
The End
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