Title: A Day in the Sun
Author: Kendra
Rating: JOOTT (Just one of those things)
Archive: yeppers
Disclaimer: I know nothing, I own nothing
Note: Had some time to kill early this morning. I stole from everyone, mucho thanks. Be warned, this was typed quickly so I'm sure mistakes abound.

The day was warm, the breeze sweet with spring blossoms, and the campus was buzzing with activity for the day's events. And in the cottage...

"Puff? Puff! Where's my..." Qui-Gon loudly asked while rummaging through the cabinets in Dande's once immaculate kitchen.

Echoing from the bedroom. "Your chef's hat is in the bottom drawer on the left side of the sink," Dande replied while searching for the perfect perfume to wear for a volleyball game -barbecue.

"Oh," the Mastah mumbled to himself, finding his lucky grilling hat exactly where the Wench said it would be. "Wishpuff!"

"Hanging behind the pantry door!" Dande sing-songed from the other room.

Opening the pantry door, Qui-Gon momentarily wrestled with the decision of which apron would best accent the occasion. With a grin and a grunt of triumph, he chose the red, 'Grill Mastah' apron and promptly shut the door.

"Puff!"

Dande looked into the dressing table mirror and sighed softly while adjusting her earrings. "Top drawer beside the stove," she replied, wondering if the kitchen would survive.

~~*~~

"Nope..."

"Uh-uh..."

"Don't think so..."

"Nada..."

"There you go," Shana casually remarked, momentarily glancing up from painting her toenails to comment on Elrond's last and final choice for a diadem to wear to the volleyball-barbecue.

~~*~~

Aragorn nodded sagely as he watched the arrow pierce the odd, white spherical object he'd just tossed into the air. "Good, good Legolas."

Legolas arched an elegant blonde brow and gave a half smile. "This... vol-ball is quite impressive," the elf remarked as the now flat object thudded to the sand between him and the Ranger. "Is that all that happens?"

"This could pose a problem. Dorotea neglected to inform me what to do once the sphere hits the ground and is targeted," Aragorn sighed as he and Legolas stood looking forlornly at the object.

"Shall we find another target?"

Aragorn ran a hand across his stubbled cheek and thought. "Agreed! I am most certain I spotted something interesting to pursue across campus. Damned E-waaks I believe I heard Lady Laure call them earlier."

~~*~~

Julia and Sere arrived at the lake a little earlier than most. After all, it was shaping up to be a hot day and more than likely the General would be shedding some clothing. There were many things to do in setting up camera equipment for just such an event; nothing could be left to chance.

"What's that?" Sere asked as she shimmied down the palm tree from where she was placing a remote camera.

"What?"

"That!" she pointed to a white blob at the edge of the volleyball court as she watched Julia cautiously approach the odd vision.

"What the hell?" Julia loudly exclaimed, picking it up and shaking her head in annoyance.

"What is it?"

"It 'WAS' the volleyball," the Ho replied, pulling the arrow from the center. "LEGOLAS!"

"Here, this might help," Sere groaned, handing the other Ho her trusty roll of duct tape. "After all, that's the only ball we have."

Julia nodded her head and sighed. "And so help me, we are going to have the General hot and sweaty and sandy playing volleyball. Mark my words, it will be so!"

"Any idea where we can get that thing pumped up?"

"Nah...on second thought, come on! We'll just patch the holes and siphon air out of one of the tires on Darry's car," Julia exclaimed with a wicked grin.

~~*~~

*Clump*

*Thump*

*Clump*

*Thump*

Laure glanced up from her desk at hearing the curious sound getting closer and closer to her office. Moments later, the maker of such a sound entered the room with a flurry of motion as the Diva teetered precariously on two different leveled clunky sandals.

"You've played volleyball before. I need your opinion, which sandal is best suited for the game?" she questioned as Laure slowly stood from her chair and glanced down to the Diva's feet.

"This one?" Emmy asked, pointed to her left foot. "Or this one?" she requested, pointing to her right foot.

"Are you sure about this? Clunky shoes in sand 'and' while playing volleyball?" the mediator/chanteuse questioned with an odd look in her eyes.

"Yes, there's no reason I can't be stylish and practical at the same time," the Diva retorted, glancing to her feet.

Laure sighed and pursed her lips while thinking. "The right shoe, definitely the right one," she decided with a nod of her head.

"You're sure? I would have said the left."

"Urrrghhh..." Laure groaned, sinking back down into her chair.

~~*~~

"Okay, boys! We've got to look alive out there today!" Tara emphasized while pacing before her fire company as they all filed in for inspection. Well okay, they straggled in and stood in a sort of zigzag pattern.

"This is one of the infamous HSU cookouts. This is your first time being present during one of the General's and the Mastah's grilling fiasco.... Err...demonstrations. Anything can happen and it usually does," she added, stopping to wink briefly at Boromir who was leaning against the fire truck.

"Be prepared and be safe out there," the water Ho added with emotion as she stopped before Tyr and wrinkled her nose.

"You are out of uniform, Tyr. Get your butt upstairs and put on that tank top like the rest of the group. Don't make me write you up," she edged as Tyr growled lowly at her and she growled back, making him turn and retreat.

~~*~~

Dor glanced at the mess scattered about the treehouse before her and cringed. "You'd think an elf would have sunscreen," she grumbled, hearing the cell phone's familiar ring in her ears.

The librarian, who sometimes had a library, surveyed where best to begin her quest for the phone. Dropping to her knees to crawl about the cluttered floor, items of all sorts began flying through the air as her cell phone search intensified.

"Ah-ha!"

With a triumphant wave of her hands, Dor grabbed her displaced cell phone and answered.

*Collect call from Paris. A Monsieur L.U.V. Slave calling. Will you accept the charges? * The nasally sounding operator questioned.

"Are you kidding? I'm having a possible freckle crisis today. I don't know whose brilliant idea it was to play volleyball in the sun, let alone this cookout by the pool...in the sun as well. But you'd think by now this would stop. I need dark and dank, damnit!"

*Is that a no? * The operator asked in confusion as Xani could be heard in the background yelling about mind whammies not working via the phone lines.

"Yes!"

*So you will accept the charges? *

"No! Look, I've got to find some sunscreen. I think I might have spotted a possibly freckle beginning to take form on my cheek. Reminds me, since I might be having a freckle crisis, I'd best get the windows on the Volvo tinted." With that, Dor tossed the phone aside, grabbed a blanket to shield herself from the sun's rays, and scurried out of the treehouse on a quest to find sunscreen.

~~*~~

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

"Kendra, love, please," the General requested as he followed his secretary out of the Admin building.

"Whart?" The water Ho asked in confusion, her bright and shiny new whistle still clutched between her teeth.

The General just sighed loudly and pressed on his ear with his hand, hoping to stop the constant ringing. "Please, must you blow that whistle and...startle everyone? You got it for the volleyball training."

Kendra contemplated what he said while they made their way to the lake. "I really didn't notice anyone being startled," she mused, glancing to her side, something suddenly catching her attention.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

"Hey you...yes you, Donna, Giles. There's no walking on the grass!" Kendra shouted as the couple stumbled in shock at the loud whistle and the Ho's shouts.

The General opened his mouth and did a very good impression of a fish, while he tried to get his hearing back. "Don't make me go Jedi on you," he unexpectedly remarked, watching as his secretary gasped in surprise, while clutching her whistle in her hand.

"You wouldn't dare," she edged as he chuckled lowly.

"Wouldn't I though, love," he replied as they walked the remainder of the way in silence, the Ho eyeing him suspiciously.

~~*~~

"This game of amusement. It seems...tame," Max remarked as he and Jael made their way to the volleyball court.

Jael grinned and glanced longingly to the sky. "Oh no, it can be quite brutal. Trust me on this, especially if any of the Ho's get involved with things," she remarked.

Max sighed deeply and nodded his head. This was true. If given the correct incentive, any one of the women on campus could probably obliterate any one of his men. It was difficult to admit that fact, but after spending much time within their world, he had to confess that he'd gladly take any a Ho to fight by his side during any battle.

"Cheer up, you'll probably get to grill with the guys. That usually equals fire and some sort of catastrophe," the Warrior princess smiled, glancing at the other general from the corner of her eyes.

The roguish grin on Max's face said it all. There was just something about male bonding around a roaring and dangerous, open fire. They loved it.

~~*~~

Darry sat in the shade sipping a drink while sucking on a nicotine sucker. There was no way in hell she was going to join the rest of the group in playing 'guys against the grrls' in a game of volleyball. Hell, if she had joined them, then she'd not have a ringside seat for all the action.

"Foul!" the Nurse shouted, pointing the sucker to Emmy who had suddenly kicked sand in Tanner's eyes. "If you're going to play dirty, the least you could do is aim for the ones who can see the ball coming at them."

"Bitch!" Emmy retorted, tripping momentarily as her clunky sandal got stuck in the sand.

Darry leaned back and surveyed the game once again. "Interference!"

"What the hell was that about?" Jen demanded.

The Nurse rolled her eyes and heaved a deep breath. "This is not a game of baseball. Put the bat down, Judy."

"Hey! I don't see the big deal if I use my bat," Judy insisted as there were a chorus of objections from the male side of the net...well all accept the General who grinned cockily.

"Damned Jedi, who would have thought they were so competitive," Kendra snapped, crossing her arms before her chest.

Judy placed her prized bat to the side. "You're just mad because Obi-Wan took that annoying whistle away from you," she winced, placing a finger to her ear and wiggling it around, hoping to get rid of the constant ringing.

Kendra kicked her foot and managed to nail Tyr with a mouthful of sand. "Hey! That whistle didn't harm anyone. He had no right to use the Force to rip it off," the secretary snapped, giving the General a glare, which quickly turned to an ogle as he grunted loudly and made a leap for the ball as his black shorts sank a little lower on his abdomen.

"What did you say?" Emmy asked, swallowing thickly as all Ho eyes watched the General carefully, hoping for the moment when the elastic would give way.

"Damn quality workmanship!" Tara griped, as the shorts never dropped.

Moments later there was a chorus of 'I got it' emanating from the Ho side of the net. Followed quickly by a plethora of curses as all the gathered grrls watched the ball hit soundly to the sand between them.

"Don't even say it," Shana exclaimed, pointed to the other side of the net and the smirking men.

Play resumed and Darry couldn't help but cringe as she surveyed the next instant. "That must have hurt," she mused, watching Laure quickly drop to the ground like a rock. The volleyball hitting her soundly upon the head.

"She should have been paying better attention," Jen added as the General leaned over the prone woman.

Ellie reached over and smacked Jen upside the head. "That's the reason she got nailed with the ball. She had a 'duh' moment when the General made that diving save and added that damn sexy grunt when he went down."

"I think I lost it when he slid in the sand..." Julia added from the sideline as she took pictures.

"Oh I definitely felt a little giddy when I thought for sure the shorts were going to go," Kendra commented,

Emmy nodded her head in agreement. "We'll have to do something about those shorts next time. Damnit to all hells, I broke a nail!" the Diva shouted.

"Bet Laure's going to have a great black eye," Dor said with awe, as all eyes turned to look at her. "What?"

~~*~~

"You know, all in all it was a fun day," Judy smiled, propping her feet upon the chair before her. "Even if I couldn't use my bat."

"True, we annihilated the guys," Jael laughed, joining the gathered group of Ho's, Wo's, and Wenches at the table in the pub.

"I'm not sure what the best part was," Jen mused, sipping her beer.

Julia collapsed into a vacant chair and grinned. "It was rather funny when the grill got out of control and muffed the Mastah's grilling hat. We got some great action shots about then...the fire company racing in...half of them falling in the pool...Draco toasting Cal...just great shots."

Dande raised her brow and was about to object to her husband's grilling mishap but found she couldn't help but giggle. "You realize the Mastah is going to be quite upset about the loss of his cooking hat."

"Not half as upset as when Kendra doused him with pool water," Tara added with amusement.

"Hey, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment," the General's secretary objected.

Laure groaned once again and once again everyone ignored her as she sat leaning back in her chair, an ice bag over her right eye. "So funny I forgot to laugh," the mediator winced.

"Fine, then obviously you don't want to join us for next week's game," Judy stated, watching as Laure quickly sat forward.

"Ha! Think again, I wouldn't miss that General grunt and sweaty half nekkid body action for anything. Which reminds me, I need to find the man so he can make it up to me," Laure explained before heading out of the bar in search of the missing Jedi.

"You know...I was just thinking that next weekend we could get the General to half nekkid limbo," Judy suddenly suggested as many a Ho's eyes glazed over.

"Pencil it in the man's schedule, Kendra!" Emmy encouraged.

~~*~~

The following Monday:

"Uh, I've got this odd message for you," Kendra murmured, stepping into the General's office.

The General glanced up from his computer and smiled. "What is it, love?"

"Well you see, I was a little busy when the call came in. New screensaver and such...but anyway...this Dicko...Ducko...Dinko...Dooku fellow wanted me to ask you if you'd join him in taking over the galaxy. Or maybe he said Wanker U, or possibly he just said something like let's get together for a drink. This man was wacko. But anyway, he was real insistent you join him or you'd face the consequences...whatever that means," Kendra explained as the General raised a brow in alarm.

"You know this dweeb?" she asked, walking over to the desk and sliding into the Jedi's lap.

The General sighed and nuzzled her cheek. "I think we've had the misfortune of meeting. And you are correct, he's a dweeb," he explained calmly, though he could feel a most elusive, and bothersome nagging upon the Force.

"Well, if he plans on leading the Wankers then he most certainly is king dweeb material. I'm not so sure what he'd be if he wanted to take over the galaxy though," the secretary remarked before cuddling up in the General's embrace.

~*~*~*~*~