Title: HSU: Pyramid Plans
Author: Ellie
Archive: Always
Rating: HMNAH - Hunky Mummy Needs a Home
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
Summary: Spin off from list talk of Imhotep, Ardeth and other things Egypt. Thanks Dande, Dor, Laure for getting the idea going in my head. :)
Note: Please forgive any grammar mistakes I wrote most very late at night and the rest on Nathan's puter with no MS Word!

**~**

Ellie was sitting at the window of her office in the vet clinic, the pane swung open just a bit on its hinge. She sat on a long file cabinet, her feet dangling just a bit above the ground. With one hand she fidgeted with a long, red curl and with the other flicked the ashes off her Marlboro Red, delicately, out the small crack in the window. Sometimes she thought to actually aim her exhale of smoke out the small opening, but mostly she sat staring dazedly out the window, blowing smoke all over the room. No one cared about the smoke. Logan smoked with her, Indy even enjoyed one every now and then with a whiskey, and Han was plenty used to smoky cantinas. But she enjoyed staring outside when she wasn't busy at her computer or with a patient. She'd just given Tara's cats their yearly exam and shots earlier that afternoon and was still nursing a few scratches. It seems that though the cats genuinely liked the Vet Ho, they still wanted to make it painfully clear that did not approve of rectal thermometers.

Ellie crushed out the cigarette, making a mental note to empty the half full ashtray. She may not mind smoke, but she hated stale, put-out cigarette smell. The ashtray on her desk, when one could find it among the slew of papers and science journals, was sparkling clean. The one farther away on her lab bench did sometimes get neglected and more frequently nabbed by the sticky hands of the mutant and was overflowing with half smoked cigars and Reds.

Taking one last look out the window into the trees and wilderness that lay just past the rugby pitch and larger buildings of HSU campus, Ellie suddenly sat up from her haze. Past the window ran Lasher, followed by Draco, then the nexu and massiff and finally two tigers and an ocelot. They went by in mostly a flash of orange and stripes but the tigers looked to be Little Spike and McCoy. Ellie ran for the door, grabbing her tranquilizer rifle and shoving an extra box of darts into her cargo pants. She made it out of the clinic and into the clearing nearby and sighed with relief as she took in the sight.

They were all playing. The rougher play between the multi- eyed, spike-backed nexu and the fire breathing dragon, but the brave Lasher held his own with the sharper toothed cats. All was in good fun. The smallest twig breaking under her booted foot turned all the animals' heads on her. She smiled as they all looked at her and then scampered off to continue the play elsewhere or, more likely, to go cause some mischief.

She shouldered the rifle and headed back to the clinic. Suddenly, feeling eyes on her she looked about into the trees. Then, in a flash, a mostly nekkid Elf flew past her so fast she had no time to get a shot off. 'Damn,' she thought. She could have had a prize for Kendra. Oh, well, she'll have to just live with her whatevers.

**~**

"I really just can't take on another man," Laure muttered through her hands that covered her face in exasperation. Dor looked at her puzzled. "Well, of course, I can *take* on another man, but I really don't want to. I only want to look."

Dor nodded in agreement. "Me, too. Xani would kill me if I brought one back to the library. And not kill in a good way, either."

Dande flitted about serving tea and cookies on the porch of her cottage. "He's such a lovely specimen of a man isn't he, girls?"

"What's that, Puff?" Qui-Gon inquired from the lawn where he and Obi-Wan struggled to assemble Cara's latest toy.

"Nothing dear, just discussing a project we're taking on with Ellie." She turned her attention back to her guests, not noticing the interested looks from the men at the words "project". "We need to get together and go over the blueprints of the pyramid before Imhotep gets any more annoyed," Dande added urgently. "I think I saw sand swirling around *inside* the admin building when I dropped cookies off at Kendra's desk earlier."

**~**

In fact, the High Priest was very upset. He was standing in the courtyard, arms outstretched, eyes closed in concentration. After a few moments he opened his eyes and smiled an evil grin of accomplishment.

**~**

"No, dear, that's the wrong tense of that verb for that sentence. You'll have to lick it off and try again," Darry purred to her husband. Outside the clinic there was a large groaning sound, not that of a person, but more like something supernatural. Neither of them noticed or cared and resumed their chocolate syrup English lessons.

**~**

"Tanner!" Emmy yelled from her trapped position in her office. "I do actually expect to receive messages that pertain to shoes, shopping, chocolate or the General!!" She had just seen out her window a swaggering General and other Ho's heading off toward the lake in yachting gear. How come she had not been invited!?

At his desk, now surrounded by miscellaneous files, office equipment (including a couple of phones), and other items discarded from Emmy's office, her poor secretary tripped over a fax machine, went head first into a filing cabinet as he tried to figure out exactly *what* the Dean wanted from him anyway.

Huffing after the exertion of extracting herself from her still crowded office she flipped her hand at Tanner who was now sprawled on the floor unconscious and made her way into the main admin hallway.

She stopped and gaped. Sand crept into her clunky Mary Janes and she cried out when she saw something crawling across a "dune" farther down the hallway. 'Was that a scorpion?!' Someone was going to pay for this. All these darn ungrateful Ho's. It had to be one of them.

Or the Nurse's fault.

Or that foul Egyptian! "Dande!!"

**~**

"Hey, doll, got the plans," Indy said excitedly as he entered the room. "Pulled some strings with a few shady friends of mine." He winked and Ellie went weak in the knees.

Ellie snuggled up next to him as they poured over the blueprints he laid out over a lab bench. "Oooh, these are great, Indy," Ellie whispered. Standing so close to him she could smell a faint hint of whiskey mixed with the scent of earth. She turned her attention from the prints and pulled her rogue archaeologist into a long kiss. The pyramid was forgotten for a few hours.

**A few hours later**

Dande, Dor, Laure and Ellie were now all sitting comfortably under the gazebo by the cottage. Ellie passed up a cookie and opted for a cigarette and moved to the railing. Her companions looked at her incensed but didn't say anything.

"Oh, Ellie dear, these are just absolutely fabulous! I just know Imhotep is going to love his new pyramid," Dande praised, her long pale yellow skirt swaying lazily in the breeze. They were all dressed in more summer type clothes than was usual, even in Estrogen County, for winter. The day had gotten strangely warmer over the past few hours. She busied herself with freshening everyone's drinks: lemonade for Ellie and herself, something a little stronger for Laure and Dorotea.

"Dande, your addition looks great!" Dor added as she sipped her cocktail. Dande beamed.

"Yeah, we added the observation deck you suggested, Dande, over the sparring room. Complete amenities so Ho's, Wo's and Wench can lounge in style as they watch the hunky men working out below." Ellie explained, exhaling a puff of smoke into the warm wind.

Dande watched the Vet smoke disapprovingly but then put on a smile and turned back to the plans.

"So this whole section is designed authentically?" Laure inquired, peering over the prints.

"Yep. Indy put in a for a few favors and got some plans of Khufu's pyramid. But complete plans. The ones that no one's supposed to know about. Contained some chambers the general public's not supposed to know about. Bunch of hokem stuff but I used them to recreate a more authentic design for your man," Ellie said skeptically as she sat back down at the wicker table.

"And this section?" asked Dor motioning to another corner.

"Well, over here I just kind of tried some of y'all's ideas and other crazy stuff. There's a fully stocked bar with Egyptian beer and other imports. And Indy's added a secret chamber somewhere. It's one of those rooms on the prints so I don't know how secret that makes it but, hey, it makes him happy." The other girls giggled.

**~**

By now the news of a pyramid was widely spreading through campus. Emmy had ordered Cal to start shoveling sand out of the hallway and she'd ordered Kendra to find out who was responsible for putting it there in the first place. She'd lived with ice, she wasn't going to live with sand crawling with poisonous organisms. Kendra had ignored this ordered, and the sand, even the strangely warm weather and gone back out on her yacht.

Delphi was sitting in the pub at the bar. Worf, Han, Logan and other assorted men were sitting at a table behind her. Han was trying to explain the game of sabaac and fighting off growls and complaints as he kept winning all their money.

"Damn pyramid!" Delphi burst out between handfuls of chex mix. "Don't they know what that is going to do to my computer systems around here. There are already plenty of other forces around here that already make my job more difficult. I mean, does Ellie even know what she's doing designing this thing anyway?"

"Hang on there, sweetheart," Han interjected after a swig of Whyren's Reserve whiskey. "Building a pyramid ain't like dusting crops, girl. El knows what she's doing," he soothed. If he had added a swagger with that 'sweetheart' Delphi might have fallen off her stool, but she held her composure. Instead she just huffed into her beer glass.

**~**

Darry opened the door of the clinic to take a very rare outing from the clinic. Cicero was needed to help run this new massive construction project. She stepped out into shin deep sand.

"What the FUCK?"

**~**

Dorotea had finagled (and we don't want to know how) Xani to get his slave labor, er volunteers out onto an area of land on the opposite side of the campus as the rugby pitch but well behind the main buildings. She was pretty sure not all of it belonged to HSU but that was where Laure came in. She had held a meeting with Lindsay and he was now taking care off all the legal aspects of the project. Annexing land, building permits, etc. Dande kept the crews fed and watered as they broke ground. Max and Cicero had rounded up the legion and gladiators to work as supervisors over the other workers. Everything was going well.

Then Imhotep appeared. "INSETNA!"

Everyone looked at him. Dande, Laure and Dor swooned. Pretty much everyone else scratched there heads. No one had any idea what he was saying. But he did seem to be pleased. And evil grin at taken over his face. He raised his hands and chanted again in Egyptian. Everyone stared.

Over in the admin building Cal screamed as all the sand he was standing among, shoveling, suddenly rose from under him and swept itself and him from the building.

"Ooh, I told you this would make him happy," Dande crooned. "Imhotep, yoohoo, over here," she cried and waved the loincloth wearing man over. "Please have a refreshment while everything gets under way," she said and handed him a lemonade.

Dor and Laure were ready with the body oil.

Ellie and Indy were holding a copy of the plans and discussing something animatedly with Max and Cicero who then went off and began conversing with Haken and the other gladiators and brute men.

The pyramid was underway, Things were running smooth.

Nothing could possibly go wrong. Right?

*fin*