Title: Dick and Cal or Spam is a Truly Bad Thing
Author: Laure
Rating: TDD (Typical Daily Drivel)
Disclaimer: Not mine, we're violating several copyrights here.
Archive: HSU of course
Timeline: Set after Julia's great fic and before Jael's great fic neither of which I've feedbacked because this fic just would not END.
Author's Note: I've been trying to get my character to this point for months. Not too Mary Suish, I hope...
Author's Other Note: Yes, I really did get this spam...

One day after New Years and all through the campus...well, everything was chaotic as usual, but as nothing had burned down, fallen over or sank into any swamp it was being classified as a pretty good day.

The Dean was actually doing paperwork, processing the whole three new students coming in at the new semester, and muttering to herself that she'd be damned if she'd share the General with any more.

Time for some of the lazy upperclass Ho's to matriculate.

Or maybe they should just close the campus to new students...

As she blew a stray curl out of her face and reached for her mug of dark chocolate cocoa, an annoying squeak sounded from the outer office. Before she could yell for her robotic secretary to stop squeaking, the door opened a smidgeon and Cal peeked in.

He ducked at the shoe thrown his way and the door swung all the way open revealing Cal cowering, his red wagon squeaking, and some strange boy with a huge red pimple on his nose doing what looked like the pee-pee dance.

"What?" Emmy bellowed.

"Um, trash?"

She gave him a scathing look. "Trash is to be picked up before and after work hours only."

"Um, well, I got behind," Cal dithered, scratching his head and making his braid fall into the trash bag heaped wagon. "I was showing Dick around."

"Who the *@$&! is Dick? I know I didn't approve the hiring of anyone named Dick. I swear, first we got vampires, then elves, if a dwarf shows up, I'm out of here." Eyes blazing she aimed another shoe at Cal. It careened off his forehead and smacked Dick in the er lower stomach region.

As they howled in pain, she rolled her eyes.

*****

"I thought we told Tara no bagpiping in the buildings," Judy said, wincing at the high pitched sound echoing through the halls and into her pub.

Kendra shrugged, trying not to lose track of her counting of gummy fish. Darry's appearance in the doorway, yawning, wearing inside out scrubs made the General's secretary fall off her stool, the gummy fish going with her.

"Who's killing that damn cat?"

As Kendra scrambled for her gummies, Judy reached into the fridge and pulled out the jumbo sized gatorade, setting it aside, then reached for the vodka and began to mix the perfect martini.

"What a pleasant surprise," Judy said, mixing, stirring. "And only...hey, you're a month early. Did you see your shadow?"

Darry flipped off the chuckling bartender and stomped over to a stool. "That elf and his damn architectural project in the woods is taking up way too much of my husband's time. Cic has been gone for a whole fifteen minutes."

The wailing suddenly cut off.

"Good, cat's dead." Darry sipped her martini, then swirled her olive in it.

"Actually, we think it's Tara and her bagpipes."

"Too high pitched," replied the Nurse, sucking the olive off the skewer.

Flipping her hair out of her face, Kendra heaved her huge bag of gummy fish back onto the bar and began to recount.

"Why are you doing that?" her master asked.

"Five, six, seven...I think someone is stealing them."

Darry rolled her eyes. "They're not chocolate."

"...Chocolate gummy fish..." Kendra's eyes began to glaze over at the thought.

*****

Rubbing his temples in pain from that horrid noise, the General rose to see what was going on. His outer office was empty, so he stepped into the hall, only to see Cal and some other young man limping away from the Dean's office, the little red wagon trailing behind them and squeaking in an annoying fashion.

"Emmy, of course," the General muttered, walking into her office, past the dozing robot, and nearly tripping over a couple of clunky shoes.

"Bare footed, love?" he asked, rakish grin in place.

"Spares." The Diva smiled up at him, feeling much better now that she'd wounded someone. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Cal?"

The smile vanished. "You didn't give him the go ahead to hire an assistant, did you? You know only the Board of Regents can hire anyone." Blithely ignoring all the hiring of EAs and EFs done with blatant disregard for the Board.

"No. Is that who I saw with him?"

"Some creature named Dick. Next time I see him I'll boot him through the nearest gates."

Smiling wolfishly at her, Obi-Wan closed and locked the door. "Now about baring those feet..."

Emmy grinned and swung her legs up onto her desk.

*****

Limping--though he hadn't been hit in the leg, so why he was limping only he could tell you--Cal knocked hesitantly on the Wench's office door.

"Come in," Dande trilled.

Opening the door and cautiously poking his head in, Cal sighed in relief at finding the Counselor alone. Grabbing a hold of his groaning Dick, he stumbled them both into the room.

To her credit, Dande continued to smile, but a brittleness began to grow around the corner of her eyes. "Cal...It's only been..." She glanced at her watch. "Two hours."

"The Dean threw her shoes at us."

"Who's your friend?"

"This is Dick." Flopping on the couch, he tugged Dick down beside him. Dick curled into a ball, groaning and clutching himself. Dande hurriedly looked away." I'm learning to manage him."

"...What?"

"I got this email..."

Sighing heavily, Dande reached for her teapot, pouring herself a fresh cup. "Cal, we've had this conversation before about spam."

"But this one was really good. It was really detailed and had purple ink." Reaching into his tunic, he pulled out two crumpled pages of printer paper and began to read. "How to manage your dick. Redirect sexual energy and..."

Blushing bright red, Dande interrupted him in a strangled voice. "No, stop, let me read it." She hesitantly took the paper from him.

"I want to buy the book to help me even more, because I think Jedi are good managers, right Mrs. Dande? And I want to be a good Jedi. But, I don't have any money, so, I just went out and found a Dick to manage."

At this point Dande couldn't decide between dying of embarrassment or bursting into rolling laughter. Trying to focus she read silently, tears streaming down her cheeks. "...Dick management... destructive, testosterone-driven impulses...saying 'yes' to something larger than the tunnel vision of the Cyclops in your pants!?"

"I didn't understand that part," Cal added, watching with some concern as Dande thunked her head down on her desk and started to do something that sounded like crying. "Are you okay, Mrs. Dande? Did you hurt your head?

*****

"I can't be hearing this right," Julia muttered, adjusting the signal on the remote receiver in Dande's philodendron.

"Does Shana know that Dande's fooling around with Cyclops?" Sere asked, smirking.

"Oh hush, that's not what she said."

"Would make an interesting headline."

"You want to get on the wrong side of tree top man?"

Sere thought about it for all of a second, then went back to eying the most recent contact sheet of the General working out. There were several of him using a bow and arrow. "Hey, that elf does have his uses."

"Shhh. Wait. Huh?"

Sere passed her the set of pictures and Julia's eyes lit up. "To heck with Dande and Cal. Wonder if the General would like to give us a private demonstration..."

*****

Rousing from a mid-morning nap, Shana slumped into her desk chair and clicked open her email. There were fifteen, no, sixteen messages from 'The Office of the Dean'.

"I am SO not in the mood."

Skipping past all of Emmy's messages and three porn spams, Shana clicked on the lone message from Ellie.

"Time for the tigers to get their shots. Oh, that'll be fun." Opening up AIM, she frowned. "Lazy ass ex-mediator..." Picking up the phone, she dialed an extension.

The phone rang and rang and rang...

*****

Growling in frustration, Spike flopped onto his back, ignoring Laure's look of equal frustration.

"Between the caterwauling, which set off the tiger howling, and now the bloody phone ringing, pet..."

"Are you making excuses?" she snapped.

"And there's always the chance the bumbling idiot will return early once he figures out it's impossible to golf in a foot of snow."

"Well I refuse to boink you in the basement. It's worse than the freakin' crypt."

"There was nothing wrong with my...Are you going to answer the blasted phone?" he asked, exasperated.

Narrowing her eyes in a death ray at him, Laure grabbed the phone. "WHAT?"

"Oh good, I'm not the only one having a bad day," Shana smirked on the other end of the line.

"I was busy, or, trying to get busy."

"Which EA?"

"The dead one."

Shana laughed. "They're both dead."

"The blond, annoying, and currently unable to perform dead one."

Spike rose in a huff and stomped nekkid into the bathroom.

Laure snorted and rolled onto her stomach. "So, what's up. And do you know what was making that god awful noise earlier?"

"Huh? Must have slept through it. I was napping with Scott."

"Nice..."

"Until he bounded out of bed with this sudden urge to strip his motorcycle and rebuild it. Woke me out of the nicest dream."

"Well, since neither of us are getting any, want to go see if the elf will give us a sword fighting demonstration?"

"Gotta take the cats in for their shots first. Got a third reminder from Ellie."

"Oh, is that what those messages are? I haven't read any of my mail in days. Too much going on around here," Laure yawned.

"Yeah, you're so busy. Try shuffling roommate assignments for the Freshmen Ho's, and trying to remember which ones have EAs, which ones have EFs, which ones smoke, which ones are allergic to cats, dogs..."

"Okay, okay," Laure laughed. "Let me throw on some clothes, leash up Spike..." She laughed even harder at the "OY" from the bathroom. "Little Spike," she clarified, "And I'll meet you out front."

"Bundle up. It snowed another couple inches over night."

"If dichotomy really DID exist, it would be perpetually 70 degrees here," Laure grumbled.

*****

Yawning, Xani slithered from the half-finished, but roofed bedroom and blinked blearily up at the snowflakes fluttering into the library from one of the many holes in the "temporary" plastic covering.

"Damn slaves," he muttered, wrapping his jacket around himself and stomping over to the coffee pot and his beloved Xbox.

Pelham followed him, brushing the snowflakes from his immaculate velvet blazer as he crossed the floor. He frowned as he wended his way through the construction site towards his precious tea kettle. When he turned on the water, the pipes made a horribly rumbling noise, then spewed chunks of ice.

"This is intolerable, Xanatos. Winter has come and we yet have no roof. Your workers have fallen into league with those disreputable miners and low class yeomen soldiers and spend most of their time in the public house. And all you do is play that damnable game."

At the sound of dulcet masculine tones raised much higher than sociably acceptable, Xani glanced up from Rebel Alliance 2. "Did you say something?"

"I now see why Lady Dorotea throws things at you."

A book whacked Xani upside the head.

*****

Ellie wrapped her woolen coat tighter around herself and squinted at the teeny tiny peck mark on the right big toe of the dragon.

"Really, Dor, it's healing fine."

"It's gonna go septic, I just know, and my baby's gonna lose his whole leg."

Draco snorted at that and danced backwards from the Vet.

"It didn't even bleed," Ellie continued.

"Damn chickens," the Librarian muttered, stroking Draco's muzzle. "There, there, baby. Wanna go chase them into the frozen lake?"

"You know, I really think he knows what we're saying."

"Of course he does. He's much more intelligent than the average male around here," Dor replied, grinning.

Draco grinned and flapped his wings, preening in the winter sunlight.

*****

After Dande had requested oh so kindly that they leave and let her ponder the matter for several hours, Cal and Dick strolled through the grounds, Cal pointing out various objects of interest and avoidance, and reading over and over again the list of chapters to the wonderful book he wanted to own.

As they left the woods and wandered onto the beach, they nearly stumbled over Draco chasing a squawking bunch of chickens. One chicken, a particularly scrawny one, skidded onto the ice of the lake, butt and tail feathers wagging in the air.

While Dick screamed like a girl and cowered behind Cal, who wasn't that far off from screaming either, Draco turned from the chickens and blasted flame at his second favorite target.

Screeching--though the flame came nowhere near him--Cal fell over his own feet and tried to bury himself in the sand. His eyes fell on the title of chapter five, and, as warm wetness flowed down his leg, he cried, "Lizard? It's the lizard of chapter five. How am I supposed to drain it?"

Hearing shrieking, Dorotea wandered a tad faster away from Ellie's clinic and found Cal and another boy trying to hide under the frozen sand while Draco played with them.

"Who are you? Are you from Wanker?" she asked, eyes narrowing.

"I'm his Dick."

Struck dumb by that statement, Dorotea slowly shook her head and patted Draco. "Come on, baby. Leave the nasty boys alone. You don't want to catch their cooties."

"And they're stinky," she threw over her shoulder as a parting shot.

*****

Dragging his golf clubs through the snow, Commo tromped up the path from the stables. Since he had no knowledge of how to operate an automobile, and his precious golf cart had been turned into a fountain, he was reduced to riding his horse to the Club.

He was beginning to think that the loud duck like noises coming from the automobiles as he trotted down the road were not sounds of worship.

But, he had more important matters with which to concern himself at the moment, like finding a new sport for the winter.

There was that indoor game with the orange ball and hoops that Laure liked, but one tended to perspire heavily playing it, and there was much rough-housing with commoners. He didn't think he could tolerate that for long.

As he strolled past the edge of the woods, Maximus' slave boy clamored down a ladder from a tree.

Ah, of course, the Pict had reverted to living in trees like the rest of his heathen kind.

Cicero glowered at the fallen emperor, then called up into the trees, "I'll return after your archery class, friend."

A disembodied voice echoed down, "It shouldn't be long. Most of the women find it oddly cold here."

Archery? Commodus perked up at that. He was quite proficient with a crossbow, but perhaps he could learn the longbow. It was quite the elegant sport.

As Cicero kicked snow at him and stalked away, another man dropped from the trees, not making a sound. He had long hair much like Commo's beloved's, and odd ears.

"You offer archery class? With the long bow?"

"Yes. I am Legalos."

"Lucius Aurelius Commodus, but everyone calls me Commo. Well, my beloved calls me Commo. I am the golf instructor." At the blank look on Legalos' face, he set down his clubs and pulled out his putter. "Golf. It's a sport, a game."

"Interesting weapon..."

"But, it cannot be played in the snow, so I am at loose ends. Is there room in your archery class?"

Legalos shrugged elegantly. "Undoubtedly. The numbers shift as often as their moods."

"Lead the way, good fellow," Commo beamed.

As the two walked towards the rugby pitch cum gladiatorial training arena cum archery range, Commo could be heard to ask, "Are you part satyr? It's the ears..."

Tigers all newly vaccinated, and extremely unhappy about it, Spike--the big one--finally in the mood and now sleeping the sleep of the dead or undead, Laure wandered towards Dande's office for their late afternoon tea, muffins and gossip fest. She carried a basket of her latest creation--raisin oatmeal cinnamon muffins-- letting it swing lightly at her side.

With a perfunctory knock, she opened Dande's door and stepped inside.

One hair on Dande's head was out of place, and Laure paled. "Oh god, what's wrong?"

"Cal," Dande replied in a strangled voice, as she waved a piece of paper at Laure.

Setting down the muffins, Laure hesitantly took the paper and quickly scanned it.

Within ten seconds she was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down his face.

"Don't...tell me...he..." Snort. "Ordered it?"

"Worse."

"Oh god, he's not going around playing with himself is he?" Laure's face scrunched up in disgust, but she continued to laugh.

"He found a..." Dande turned bright red and started to laugh herself. "Dick to manage."

"Huh?"

"A boy named Dick."

Laure's guffaws cut off and she stared wide-eyed. "No, he can't be that stupid."

"Oh yes he can."

The snickers began again and Laure cradled her head in one hand as her shoulders shook with humor.

Somewhere in the middle of their laugh fest, Da Mastah arrived to get his fix of Laure's muffins. He hesitated in the doorway for a long moment, then decided that he'd wait in the pub with the other men.

There was too much use of the word 'sex' in that little chintz filled room for any man to be comfortable with when it was being spoken by two giggling women. Yin and yang, Aristotle, these words he knew and understood, but who was this Johnson, and what was that about a gong? No, he'd heard that wrong, it was a dong.

Shaking his head, Da Mastah slipped unnoticed from the office and headed for the pub and rationality and some good beer.

"Psychobondage?" Laure spit out. "Hm, sounds interesting..."

"Laure!"

"You need to cut off Cal's computer access. He's a menace."

"He's not a menace. He's just a confused little boy."

Laure rolled her eyes.

"And I can't do this alone anymore. You have to come back."

Laure snorted.

"Come on," Dande wheedled. "Look at what you're missing."

"Exactly what would I be mediating between here? I'm not going anywhere near Cal's Dick." Laure snickered again, tossing the paper down on the desk.

"Actually, there was some accusation of Emmy throwing something at Dick."

"Oh no. I'm not trying to mediate Emmy. It's impossible. She refuses to attend the sessions, and if she's dragged here, she refuses to participate, just glares and threatens and proclaims her Alphaness."

"Well...yes, I can see that, but..." Dande brightened. "I'm sure Cal and Dick have managed to irritate someone else on campus by now."

"Dande..."

"We know nothing about this Dick person. What if Cal kidnaped him? What if Dick doesn't want to be here? Maybe you can mediate between them."

"I'm a singer not a mediator."

Dande flapped her hand in a scary, Divalike way.

"Emmy's rubbing off on you," Laure said with a shudder.

"Pshaw."

"Pshaw to you, too," the ex-mediator retorted.

"Laure, seriously, I know you're bored during the day. There's only so much...EA time one can tolerate, I'm sure. Your show is set, so rehearsals take no time at all. You've finished recording your CD."

"There's General appointments, as many as I can possibly get," Laure protested.

"You're not the Nurse, dear. Multiple daily sessions with Obi-Wan and your two EAs would kill a normal human being," Dande replied with a smirk.

"Fine, whatever, that still only leaves me a couple, six empty hours during the day."

"I'd be happy to help you redecorate and turn the recording studio into an office."

"Dande..."

"No chintz, I promise," Dande beamed.

"I'm not going back to mediating."

"You're a born mediator, dear. It's in your blood."

Laure sighed and slumped deeper into her chair.

*****

On the archery range, Kymira, Tara, Jen and several other students were huddled around a growing bonfire, trying to stay warm.

"Why wasn't this course offered in the summer?" Jen groused, bouncing up and down on her half-frozen toes.

"Because cute elf-boy wasn't here last summer. As soon as he arrives, you know it'll get warmer as all these Freshmen start panting," Kymira smirked.

"I think someone else has taken up the bagpipes," Tara added from nowhere, frowning into the flames. "Did anyone else hear that wail...um...sound this morning?"

"That screeching, killing something horribly sound?" Jen asked.

Kymira smirked even more. "I figured it was my Master's fangy EA eating an Ewok."

Tara made a face and frowned deeper. "I'm the Piper Ho around here. I'm not giving up that title."

"Piper Ho, Water Ho, Firewoman Ho, whatever." Jen glanced nervously over her shoulder for the tenth time in half as many minutes.

"What?" Kymira asked irritably as the movement kept stirring up the cold air.

"I keep waiting for someone to charge over and put out the fire."

Tara shook her head. "There are occasions that fire is warranted. Freezing our asses off so we can ogle a cute elf is one of them."

Noise sprang up from the other side of the fire and the grrls looked up to see Legalos strolling towards them accompanied by Commo.

"What's the idiot doing here?" Kymira groused.

"Well, he is actually pretty skilled with a crossbow." Tara watched him carefully, though.

"When he's not shooting Kendra in the butt," Jen laughed. "And speak of the devil..."

Breathing hard and clutching her bow, Kendra ran towards them from the direction of the Dorm. "Forgot my arm guard."

"Like we're going to feel the kick through the layers of sweaters and coats."

Kendra nodded absently at her fellow Water Ho. "True, but we want to look the part, don't we? And show our instructor that we're paying attention."

"I'm paying attention." Kymira grinned as she ran her eyes slowly down the elf's lean body.

As Legalos began to line his students up facing the targets, Commodus strolled around the fire to warm himself and deposit his golf clubs in a safe spot. He nodded benevolently to the upper class Ho's, smiling at the sight of Kendra who slid behind Tara.

"Good day, ladies. I have never taken lessons with ladies before. It looks to be quite illuminating."

"He's going to kill me, I just know it," Kendra muttered, watching carefully as Commo picked up a bow and a quiver of arrows.

"Nah. Not much damage you can do with these dull tips," Kymira offered helpfully.

"He'll find a way," Kendra groaned.

"You could always drop the class," Jen suggested.

Fear turned into indignation. "Shut your mouth. I'm not giving up a chance to...appreciate Legalos."

The other three started to laugh.

"Are you sure you're one hundred percent grateful?" Tara teased.

"She just has ear whatevers, springing from her wanger whatevers."

"Issues," Kendra hissed at Jen, "And I do not."

"Whatever."

More laughter.

*****

"...And here we have the rugby grounds where the miners live and no one ever seems to play much rugby."

As Cal pulled him along behind a row of targets, Dick gestured frantically.

"Fire at will," came the cry from the archery instructor.

Arrows flew willy nilly, somehow not one managing to hit either boy who were now screeching and running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Hearing the screeching, Jael and Max charged from his trailer, wearing their winter armor and wrapped in fur, swords drawn.

"Are we under attack?" Max demanded to know, striding forcefully across the field.

Legolas pointed gracefully with his bow towards the boys huddled together on the ground, wailing for their mommies. "I mistook them for Orcs."

"Ah." Max wasn't sure what Orcs were, but was certain the mistake was understandable.

"No need for you to come charging to anyone's rescue, Maximus," Commo sneered.

Slowly Max raised his sword until the tip was at the former emperor's throat. He smiled as Commo paled. "I see you are learning the art of the long bow? Planning to try to kill me from afar this time?"

"Um, Max darling, you know that truce I have with Laure really doesn't allow the killing of her pet weasel."

The Other General smiled benevolently down at his Warrior Princess. "Can I nick him?"

Jael thought about it for a moment, then smiled brightly. "What's a little blood shed to her these days?"

Commo backed up quickly, out of sword reach. "You shall pay for threatening me, Maximus. With a snap of my fingers, I..."

"Will what?" Max chuckled. "Call your vast army? Your praetorians? Your daddy?"

As Commo stomped away in a huff, Julia stretched on the bleachers and snapped several more shots.

"You know, they really should just give us the Pulitzer every year," she suggested to her sister. "These shots are golden."

"That one of Max with the sword at emperor boy's throat is going front cover of tomorrow's paper," Sere said, grinning. "That's sure to get a rise out of Laure."

"Like that's a hard thing to do," Julia laughed, before turning her camera back on her EF.

*****

Laure had finally gotten Dande off the topic of mediating and onto the topic of campus gossip, when a gasping Cal and friend stumbled into the office. They reeked of sweat and...other ungodly odors.

Cal fell at Laure's feet, babbling, "Oh, Miss Laure, please help us. We have been attacked. First the dragon tried to eat us, then the Ewoks used us as a toilet, then the whole campus shot arrows at us. It's too hard managing my Dick. I can't do it." He began to sob.

Dick sobbed, too.

Laure narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "Who are you?"

Dick stopped sobbing. "Um...name's Richard Wenger."

"Did he just say wanger?" Dande asked, nibbling on a muffin."

"Wenger," Laure corrected before turning her attention back to the boy. "And where are you from?"

"Lucas County. It's so boring there. Cal and I met at the Quickie Mart. I was getting my daily stock of beef jerky and squishies. When Cal mentioned he worked at a women's college and asked me to be his assistant, I jumped at the chance. Anything's better than working at Whitebread Baking Company." He lowered his eyes and scowled. "I didn't count on so many men as competition, though."

Raising her eyebrows as she looked at the pimple encrusted geeky face, Laure forced down a giggle. "Cal doesn't work here because of the women. He's here to learn from his idol. We have enough men working here for the women, I'm afraid there's no room for you."

"Great, back to boredom."

"Better than losing your wenger."

"Huh?"

Laure rolled her eyes.

*****

Later, after Dick had been shipped back to Lucas County, Cal had been mollified with his very own Action Obi doll with kung fu kick, and all the muffins had been eaten, Laure headed for the General's office for her dinner appointment.

Take out Chinese before a roaring fire, Count Basey on the stereo, and lots of smooching were just the ticket for the end of a typically normal day at HSU.

As she entered his private quarters, she kicked off her shoes and padded barefoot to where Obi-Wan lounged on one side on the faux fur rug before the fire.

"Dinner will be here shortly," he said as greeting, reaching up and tugging her down next to him.

Laure didn't smile and didn't relax, and he sat up, a concerned look replacing his wolfish grin.

"Love?"

"I'm thinking about going back to mediating," she said hesitantly.

"Well, if you feel that's what you want to do, we'd be happy to have you back."

She looked at him, and he grinned.

"I'd be happy to have you back. For one, it would save me from having to listen to Ho's complaining about other Ho's. That puts me in the middle, a place I really shouldn't be. And, Laure, mediating is in your blood. It's what you were meant to do."

"You sound like Dande."

"We have the same Mastah," he chuckled, gently brushing the back of one hand over her cheek.

Laure sighed and leaned into his touch. "I know there are problems I can help solve here. That's to be expected with the volatile nature of the Ho's. And you're right, you shouldn't have anything to do with the messes we get into with each other."

"I just felt so useless sometimes."

"And these last few months?" he coaxed.

"Well...I like singing, I always have, and performing is fun, but..."

"It's not your chosen path," he concluded softly.

Laure looked up at him, shaking her head in slight exasperation, but with a slowly burgeoning smile on her face. "How come you always know the right thing to say?"

"Not always, just sometimes, the important times," Obi-Wan chuckled.

Nodding in agreement, Laure replied, determinedly, "But, if I come back, I'm not going back to the silks and lace and the eight hour days and the eternal angst. I'll work a couple hours in comfortable jeans, and still perform at the cabaret on occasion."

"Whatever makes you happy, love."

Laure laughed softly and leaned up for a kiss. "You are just too damn good to us, Obi-Wan."

"I think that's the other way around."

They both laughed and sank down before the fire.

And another day at HSU ended with happiness all around.

Except something odd was happening to the chickens...

End?