Part 4

Just as the Volvo was only a few feet away from It's Bride, Draco swept down in front of the running Wo and Wench.

"Draco! Thank the gods," Dor shouted as she jumped on the dragon's back and reached for the Wench.

"Dande! Take my hand! Get on the dragon!"

"You want me to ride a dragon?" The Wench screamed to be heard over the revving motor and the roaring dragon.

"It's your call, but I would if I were you!"

Dande glanced behind her just in time to see the demonic thing gaining on her. The demented car honked, backfired and blew out black exhaust as it closed in on the trio. It's hood was flapping open and closed madly.

"Oh my Gaaaaaaa!" Dande yelled. "I've never ridden a dragon! What will the Wench Council say??"

"Whatever!" Dor yelled, getting impatient. Suit yourself. Draco! Next stop, Tahiti! Avanti!"

The car began flashing it's headlights and flapping it's doors and wipers. "Ahh, the Big Haired Matchmaker! She will be the first to go!" It shrieked with maniacal laughter.

Dande grabbed Dor's arm and hoisted herself onto Draco's back. "Okay, then," she said.

Draco swept up into flight, spreading his wings magnificently as he turned in the sky and blew a blast of fire at the possessed auto. Draco knew he was a very good dragon indeed. He was saving 'She Who Doesn't Sleep' and 'Grumbly Stern One's wife' from 'It Which is Nuts.' The Dragon giggled and did a barrel roll, just to show off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Dande screamed in terror as Dor giggled and hugged Draco's neck. "This is great!" The Librarian shouted.

Julia excitedly photographed the Wench/Wo dragon ride. "We're going to have to do a whole issue just dedicated to this wedding!"

The car honked madly as Draco leveled off on a strafing run and blasted it again. The car, now a flaming ball of fire, reversed itself and took off in a pinwheeling path toward the woods again as the HSU Fire Department came roaring out, sirens blaring.

"Ooh, la, la," Shana said as the fire truck whizzed by, "Kilts!"

The Fire Captain, Tara, shook her head. "They were dressed for the wedding! I hope they don't burn their legs."

"Their legs? I'm worried about more than that." Kendra mused. "Did they go regimental?"

"Where are Tyr and Boromir?" Laure asked.

Tara waggled her eyebrows. "You'll see at the reception. I think that my men can put out this car fire without them."

Just then the fire truck drove into the lake.

Tara shook her head. "I can't believe they let Tanner drive again!"

~*~

The deranged, flaming car fled into the depths of Wanker County as Draco landed on the front lawn. Dande and Dor slid off the dragon's back. Obi and Qui came running up to them, Qui embracing his Wench, while Dor patted Draco's back. "Good, Draco! I'll feed you Xani's boots later, okay, sweetums?"

"Mastah, pay up. I do believe we had a side wage-ah. I had fifty on Dande riding the dragon."

Qui-Gon grumbled.

Draco purred as She Who Does Not Sleep praised him. He was not going to let anything come between his Pet and Dark Man. He adored having the Dark Man to play with everyday. True, Dark Man had been very ill for the last month and often did not even have the strength to stand, but his Pet had told him that the upcoming ritual would make the Dark Man all better.

By this time Donna had run out of the Clinic. She took one look at Dor's dress and moaned. "I don't think I can fix this before the ceremony!"

Dor looked down at her dress, it was covered in grass, dragon scales and ripped in several places. "Oops."

The Wench still looked perfect. What? You were surprised?

Sirius approached them from the alter (er, gallows). "Everything is set up, we're ready to start seating the guests when they arrive," he said. Noticing Dor's disarray, "Dor, I do hope you remember the clean-
up charm...you had to use it often enough at Hogwarts."

"Onay on the Ellspay!" The Wench motioned to Sirius from behind Dor.

"I think I remember it...." Dor started.

"Never mind," Sirius said quickly. "I'll do it! Cleanurus Erfectay!"

With a swish of Sirius' wand, Dor was instantly returned to her previous state.

"Thank goodness," Donna said, taking Dor's arm. "Back inside, we only have an hour before the ceremony and we're still going to have to get these roses on the veil...and I was going to braid your hair with the ribbons and miniature roses."

"That's not too Wenchy, is it?" Dor asked, nervously.

A few Ho's nodded that it was too wenchy, but Donna quickly led Dor away.

Things being business as usual for HSU once again, everyone headed back inside to continue preparations for the Wedding of the Century. At least, that is how The Tattler was billing it.

As she turned to follow Dor, Da Mastah put his hand on Dander's shoulder.

"Yes, Mastah?" She said with a big, tired smile.

"Riding dragons?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Oh, Mastah. This entire wedding has just been one damn thing after another." She responded with a shake of her head. "I'm afraid I'm not myself at all."

"No. You're not. Your turning into Dor." He said with a smile. "Oh don't worry, I'm sure it's temporary." He added quickly as he noted her alarm. "But I do think you've pushed yourself too far."

"Umm, A Wench's work is never done?" Dande asked, trying to sound cheerful.

"Not working Puff. After the wedding, you and I and Cara are going to have a bit of a holiday ourselves. Just the three of us..and...no arguments."

"Yes, Mastah."

The Master smiled. "That's what I like to hear. So tell me, Wishpuff, have you other hidden talents of which I'm unaware?"

"Honey, I've got moves that you've never seen." The Wench giggled.

"I'm counting on it." The Master answered with a smirk. "You can show them to me when we're on holiday."

"Hee!"

~*~

"These are very unusual ushers," Remarked Mrs. Willis as she took the arm of one Supreme Chancellor's guards, dressed entirely in red.

"It's not a Jewish wedding, dear." Mr. Willis said.

"I heard the bride was going to sacrifice a live chicken!" Sandy interjected.

"Oy," Mrs. Willis said. "I hope the blood doesn't splatter too much. Usher? Seat us a few rows back, okay?"

"Iz lovely Kolor, dees scarlet red." Ivana purred as one of the Imperial Guard showed the BGH and her escort to their seats. "I vill buying you a red loin cloth in da same shade, my bootiful Arcadian." The Scorpion King raised one eyebrow quizzically at the elegant Wench, not accustomed to a sugar mama.

"No vorrying handsome one. I alvas vant you to take charge of tings, no? I am a Vench, after all. Neverminding dat you are bait to torment Donald vith. You quite bootiful. Ve have fun, OK?"

"Works for me." He answered.

"Good! If you see Donald, shoot him between the eyes vith dat manly quiver, ya? Dat is good consort." Ivana said with a giggle as she patted the Rocklike arse of her companion.

"How did I even get here?" Mattais wondered aloud.

"Ah! You have same question as rest of us!" The King of Siam answered from where he sat with the King of Telos, Aragorn, Elrond, and all the various and sundry manly king types that populate HSU.

"That is the 'But I was a King' section." Shana pointed out helpfully to Mattias. But you're free to sit with the BGH if you......Vant." She said with a giggle.

"Psst! You, last of the Arcadians!" The King of Telos whispered. "Meet up with us at the reception, there's a lot of betting going on."

The Rock smirked. This gig was ok, and he didn't even have to kill anyone. At least, he was pretty sure he wouldn't have to. Unless Donald showed up -- whoever that was.

~*~

Qui unstapled Xani. "It's almost time."

"What's all the commotion outside? Have the villagers come with rakes and pitchforks?" Xani asked as he stood shaking out his arms.

"Oh, a little mishap with Dor's car."

Pelham arched a brow. He was dressed in full formal evening wear (from the 18th century). "Hopefully the fire won't burn down the *entire* forest and then spread to campus."

"I better speak to Dor, maybe we should delay the wedding," Xani, said, hope gleaming in his eyes.

"No," both Qui and Pelham said simultaneously. "It's under control."

"Damn."

Pelham sighed as he handed Xani a glass of wine. "Xanatos, you know she's the one you want. Be a man about it."

"I am being a man!" Xani protested, downing the wine. "And it's easy for you to say, you're not the one getting married!"

"I would happily marry Lady Dorotea," Pelham said, refilling Xani's wine glass. "But it's you who she wants. Be careful what you do. They didn't hang me for wearing lavender out of season."

"What did they hang you for?"

Pelham just arched a brow and smirked like the Cheshire Cat.

Xani looked Pelham in the eyes for a long moment, then pulled him close and kissed the Lavender Lord within an inch of his life. "Pel, just so you understand, when I said the harem had to leave after the wedding, I didn't mean you. You are...I mean, we all...We kind of go together, you know..."

Pelham held up a hand and cut off Xani's painfully clumsy attempt at verbal affection. "Understood Xanatos. I never doubted it for a minute."

~*~

Dor stood in the Library, which was decorated perfectly for Halloween. Jen Jen was sleeping on the floor, surrounded by origami bats. Dor pushed her with her steel-toed slipper. "Jen Jen, it's time for you to go be seated for the wedding!"

Jen whimpered, "No more bats, please. I can't feel my fingers."

Dor sighed and turned to Bail. "Give her some very strong espresso, okay?"

Bail nodded and helped the Librarian's overworked padawan up. Of course, he did his level best to be quite charming while doing so.

Jen Jen giggled appreciatively.

"Is Emmy here yet?" Dor asked for the fifth time, her eyes never leaving the Library's stone clock. "She's going to walk in first with Obi, then Laure, Kendra, Donna, Darry and Dande. Right? That's right, isn't it?"

Dande patted Dor's shoulder. "That's it. Emmy is here. She's just changing. Are you okay, doll? You look a bit pale. Paler than usual."

Dor nodded, fidgeting nervously while her eyes watched the minute hand on the clock. "Who has the rings?"

Dande swallowed nervously. "There was a little - sort of - *problem* with the ring Xani got for you dear...don't worry though! Qui is taking care of it."

~*~

"YOU CAN NOT GIVE DOROTEA A RING MADE FROM A PAPER CLIP, XANATOS!" Da Mastah bellowed.

"Hey! That's no ordinary paper clip ring! I'll have you know I bent that with the Force!" Xani exclaimed as the Master threw the mangled paper clip down on the table.

The Master shot Xani a Withering Glare (tm).

Pelham hung his head and sighed as he reached for the Jameson's. He took a long drink directly from the bottle and handed Qui his pinkie ring. "Go take care of Dorotea," Pelham said to Qui. "Cicero and I will get Xanatos to the alter."

Xani scoffed at the Second Consort and the Servant. "Yeah, right."

Cicero looked at Xanatos like he wanted to bury him under the alter. Obi-Wan let his hand rest lightly on his lightsaber.

"That will hardly be necessary, Opi," Xani said, rolling his eyes. "I thought we'd save the shirtless sparring for the reception."

Da Mastah gave Xani one more "look" and left Pelham's office.

~*~

"A ring from a paperclip!" Julia exclaimed to her sister, Sere. "Are you getting this all down for the Tattler?"

Sere nodded at her sister as they continued to listen in on the activities in Pelham's office from the bug they planted in Pelham's boutonniere.

~*~

"Okay," Dande whispered to the bridesmaids, "if she tries to make a break for it before Da Mastah gets here, I have Sirius, Lupin and Giles covering all the exits, so let her run, she won't get far."

Darry covered the mouth of the cellphone and said aloud, "Isn't that interfering with the natural flow of events? I have a 100 on her to be off planet before the ceremony starts!"

"Ahhh, ummm.. Well..." Dande stammered under the Nurses Steely Gaze (tm), "The good news is, if she makes it off planet now, you'll clean up! Since I posted the goons, Umm, I mean, guards, the odds of escape just took a big jump."

"Messing with gambling permutations and tampering with gaming outcomes might have you taking a big jump. The kind of jump that happens when someone is shot in the arse with purple lightning." Das Nurzen whispered menacingly.

Dande searched for possible cover.

Dor rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't Qui be here soon?" She asked as she looked around for a bottle of Maker's. She discovered her silver dragon flask, but Dande plucked it from her hands before she could open it.

"I'm here," Da Mastah said, walking into the room looking quite impressive in dress boots, leggings and tunics, all in black. His beard was very neatly trimmed, looking very sleek and not a hair on his head was out of place.

"Oh! Quigs! You went sinister for me! You doll!" Dor giggled.

"See? I was just telling Sirius that you do still giggle." QGJ winked.

"NA....NA...NA..NAAAAAAHH." Was all Dande could stammer as she stared at her Master.

"Yes, you look lovely too, Puff." He chuckled as he kissed her cheek.

"Okay, girls," Dande said, "It's show time! Let's go!"

Dande and the bridesmaids scurried out of the Library as Spike begin singing "White Wedding".

~*~An usher in solid red took Kendra's arm. "Oh my God!" Kendra exclaimed. "It's really you guys! I love your look! Julia? Will you get my picture with the ushers? I was thinking maybe they could stand behind me and hold me...But no butt pinching." Kendra warned, holding up her stapler in a warding fashion.

Meanwhile, Darry passed a note to one of the ushers to give to his boss as she walked down the aisle. When she reached the front where Cicero stood next to Xanatos, she winked at Xani and groped her husband. As soon as he was safe from the gaze of the lightning weilding nurse, the guard opened the note and snuck a peek.....And blushed as red as his robes.

As Laure gracefully walked down the aisle, Commo stood up in the "King Types" section and proclaimed, "Ah, my sweet Laure, your fair and beautiful face will grace the next coin minted by the Empire."

Laure rolled her eyes, but smiled sweetly at her beloved Emperor.

At hearing the word 'Empire' Palpy grinned knowingly and chuckled a bit.

~*~

Dor looked in a mirror, fussing with her veil. "Is it crooked? It looks crooked to me," Dor asked Qui anxiously.

Qui smiled. "It's not crooked, Dor. You look fine."

"Fine? I just look fine? Or are you trying to tell me I look horrible? Maybe I shouldn't wear the veil...the roses are too wenchy, aren't they? Does the veil hide the freckle on my nose? I look a wreck, don't I?"

"You're a beautiful bride, Dorotea." The Master said gently.

Dor took a deep breath, "Thanks," she said softly. "But if you make me cry, I'll spell you."

Qui chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."

'I can't believe you're going to give me away after being first in line for objections," Dor remarked.

"I still may not."

"WHAT?"

"I'm keeping my options open. I'm going to wait and see how things go. I've pulled you out of a great many dangerous situations, Dorotea. And I'll pull out of this wedding if I have to."

Dor chuckled. "Yes, Mastah."

"That's what I like to hear." Qui said with a smirk.

~*~

Pelham sat down at the organ and played the Bride's processional...in this case the theme to "The Adaam's Family". All the bridesmaids began clicking their fingers to the song.

The Groom turned toward the aisle where his Bride was to appear and promptly fainted. Kendra handed Obi-Wan a water bottle that she had tucked in her bouquet. Obi spritzed Xani and he sputtered awake. Obi-Wan helped him up and held onto him. Kendra searched her bouquet for her stapler.

The guests turned to watch the Bride walk in. They waited. And waited. And waited.

Em turned to Obi and whispered, "I think I know what's wrong, I'll be right back!" And then she turned and ran down red velvet carpet aisle to the Library.

"Emmy?" The General asked, befuddled.

Emmy turned around and dashed back to Obi Wan, planting a swashbuckling, movie style kiss on him. "Don't worry, doll face. I have to save the day. You wait right here, I'll be back for you." She drawled with a wink.

"Oh, my hero." Kenobi said in a playful, dramatic fashion.

~*~

"It's time, Dor," Qui said to Dor.

Dor was not moving. Her eyes were glazed over and she looked as if she were about to collapse.

"Dor," Qui said gently to Dor. "Take a deep breath and --"

"I, I can't..." Dor said weakly. "I can't move."

"Dorotea, it's ok, you're just nervous..."

"LISTEN TO ME! I CAN'T MOVE! MY FEET. WON'T. MOVE." Dor yelled in panic. "I'm stuck! Frozen! Hey, do you think I have some terrible disease??"

Qui Gon struggled to maintain his serenity. Briefly, he thought about hoisting her over his shoulder and striding in - and then quickly put that thought aside.

"Maybe a Force nudge will help you." He suggested. "Now, I'm just going to..."

"Don't *even* whammy me!" Dor said, hyperventilating.

"Well then, what do you suggest we do -"

Suddenly Em burst into the room, "I think I know what she needs," Em said, brandishing a large box.

Dor's face brightened like the sun when she recognized the logo on the box, "DOCS!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I'm saved!"

"Taa Daa!" Emmy exclaimed as she ripped open the box and pulled out a pair of black steel-toed Docs, storm-trooper style. Dor flung off her black silk ballet flats and pulled the Docs on, lacing them quickly. "I can feel my Wo Powah returning! Thank you!" Dor said happily, embracing Emmy.

"That's not necessary, really. I could feel your distress along the Shoe Consciousness Plane," Em said. "You two need to get in there before Xani faints again."

"Again?" Dor and Qui asked simultaneously.

Em nodded. "Don't worry though, Kendra is going to staple him to the alter."

~*~

"I can't believe he fainted already! I didn't think his fainting would bother me, but what are people going to think? I'm not fainting am I? He could at least wait until we got to a scary part! How dare he be a wuss!" Dor exclaimed, grabbing Qui's arm. "I'm going to go in there and kick his ass!"

"I think we're supposed to walk in slowly, Dor," Qui said, as Dor stomped out of the Library straight onto the red velvet aisle that led from the door of the Library to the ceremony, dragging the Master along by his tunic cuff.

"And the General thought going to the Shoe Convention was a waste of time. I have saved this wedding!" Emmy declared, although she herself was not quite sure if that was a good thing or not. Deciding that didn't really matter, what was important is, she did it, she rushed back to Obi Wan and smooched him again. Hey, why not, he's good for it.

~*~

Even through the black veil that covered Dor's face, Xani could see the anger and passion in her eyes. Well, he thought to himself as she stormed down the aisle, it might be a lot more anger than passion, but whichever it was, it was very sexy.

"Okay, then," Mace said as the bride kicked the groom's shins. "We are gathered here today to join --"

"Just a minute," Dor interrupted, letting go of Da Mastah's arm. She grabbed Xani's cloak and pulled him in close. "If you try anything funny, I will smack you, spell you and voodoo your ass. Understand?" She whispered angrily.

Xani arched a brow at his irate bride. "Bring it on," he smirked.

Challenge heard and met. "That's better," Dor grinned.

Their eyes met for a long moment and it was in that moment Xani made his decision. "On with the show," he said to Mace as Dor released his cloak took a step back.

Dor felt a chill run through her. She could feel something dangerous in the air. She zoned out for a moment and didn't come back until she heard Mace say, "And who gives this woman to be wed?"

Qui sighed heavily and gave Xani a long, hard look, "I do," he finally said, handing Dor's hand to Xani, "but, I'm warning you, Xanatos, if you --"

"Chill," Xani said as he took Dor's hand. "I'll take very good care of her."

Dor looked quizzically at the Greysider, wondering if he had been in Aragorn's weed before the ceremony, silently cursing the fact that she hadn't thought of that. "I shouldn't have let Dande take away my flask," she whispered under her breath as the strange vibes she was feeling continue to increase.

Qui nodded at his former apprentice and went to stand next to Dande.

Dande took another look at the Master in black, and listed dangerously to one side.

"Is it time for the objections, yet?" Judy called, a bit impatiently.

Mace's eyes widened as almost everyone in attendance help up a number. Including the Groom. Dor uttered the beginning of a spell (well, Dor couldn't remember a spell, so it was actually a recipe for Tandoori chicken, but Xani didn't know the difference) and Xani quickly tossed his number behind him.

"I am objecting to Kendravitch not being golden! Is a shame. She looking so nice ven she is golden. And to everyone vearing de dark koolers in da sum-er! And choo know dese fabrics is all wrong dahlinks. Vhat are you tinking? Dante! In black? Vhat is dis? Is most upsetting. I am needing champagne now to kope vis dis all!" Ivana remarked, making circling hand gestures around her and looking distressed.

One of the Imperial Guard rushed to her side with a champagne flute.

"Thank you, you are most being gallant...."

Kendra tried to hide behind one of the ushers. "No, being golden burns!" She whimpered.

"But, Dooroteyyyahhhh........."

"I hate it when she does that!" Dor hissed to Xani.

"Does what?" Xani asked, confused.

"You know!" Dor said, rolling her eyes. "Saying my name all spooky like that. Dorooootaaaaaaaaaayahhhhhhhh!" Dor shivered. "Creeps me out."

Qui and Xani chuckled at the thought of the Goth Librarian finding the fashionable Wench creepy.

"You groom is quite handsome, no? I am being proud of you Dorovinka, finding a man who is wealthy and handsome. By the vay, how is the shrinking spell for Donald's vanger coming, dahling?" The Big, Giant Hair asked.

The King of Telos stood. "Son, has she signed a pre-nuptial? Think of the family fortune!"

Ivana put down her champagne abruptly and stood up again. "I am ooobjecting to his oobjection!" She declared loudly. "Never singing the prenooptooal, Dorohtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayaa. Is big, fooney SKAM! You are terrible man, saying that! You.......BASTAGE!"

"Who the frack is that?" The King of Telos asked, then, he got a nervous look on his face. "She was never my wife, was she?"

Xani rolled his eyes. "Dad, the entire family fortune was confiscated by the government because of your illegal activities -- you know, raiding the treasury of Telos?"

"What about the off-planet accounts?"

"Mother took those and ran."

The King of Telos glared at Dande. "You stole my money and then took up with a hippy?"

Dande shook her head. "No, not me, your wife!"

"Good for her! She vas being de schmarty Vench ven she did that!" The BGH said with a satisfied nod of her big, giant coiff.

"Dad, I hate to tell you this, but you're penniless. All my money comes from my company, Offworld Corporation. See me after the wedding, I'll see if we have any openings in the mail room."

Kendra held up her number card and waved it back and forth until Mace noticed and signaled it was her turn. "I object to staplernapping! Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, that *Wench* over there has turned to the darkside, stolen my beloved spectacular spectacular stapler, called me up imitating Darth Vader on the phone and tried to get me to wear pink floral sundresses!"

Palpatine looked mildly interested, then went back to his phone call.

"Kendra, deah, I believe the objections Mace means need to be *Wedding* related. You undahsthand, don't you love?" The General said with a cute smirk on his face. "*Perhhhaps* I can help. My *Mastah*" He said, emphasizing the word since he knew his secretary loved it. "brought me a *paahcel* this morning. It could *possibleh* be your stapler. *Latah* will you come with me and help me......unwrap.........it?"

"Well, ok then!" Kendra giggled. "Objection withdrawn!"

"This is a wedding, not a court room." Mace grumbled.

"Well, I object to this entire wedding on the grounds of - " Emmy looked furtively around and continued in Pig Latin, which, as we know, is the only language Jedi can't understand. "Of Orotea-Day Un-
ov-ing Lay the Eneral-Jay"

All the ungratefuls waved their hand cards in the Diva's general direction.

"What I want to know is, who's going to take care of her cat when she's on her honeymoon! I don't do the litter box thing!" Jen Jen said as she held up her number. "And I am soooooo not dragonsitting!"

"Are we going in order by numbers? Or are we just all yelling out randomly?" Laure asked, holding up her card. "Because I object to Xani cheating at Risk the other night in the pub!"

Commo leaned over to Laure and whispered, "Don't let them get to you, my fair flower. These Senators quibble and cheat all the time. I should have wiped them out when I had the chance!"

Aragorn stood up, causing a hush to fall over the crowd. "And I'm still not King!" He grumbled before sitting down again.

"Okay! OKAY! NO MORE OBJECTIONS," Mace bellowed. "We'll be here for a month!"

The guests settled back into the chairs. Supreme Chancellor sat in the front row next to Ivana and the Scorpion King, talking discreetly into his cellphone.

The Nurse stood next to Kendra and Laure and was speaking discreetly into a cellphone disguised as a black and blood-red rose corsage.

"Now, Love is a many splendored thing. Love is like oxygen..."

Xani interrupted the speech with a quote of his own. "I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for lovin' me." He grinned at Dor.

Dor rolled her eyes. "Skip the nonsense, please."

"Yes, it's probably better not to give them too much time to freak," Qui whispered to Mace.

Mace nodded. "Xanatos Du Crion, do you take Dorotea Senjak for better or worse?"

"I do," Xanatos said, smirking at Dor.

Dor arched her brow at him. So, he wanted to play chicken, did he? Fine.

"Dorotea Senjak, do you take Xanatos Du Crion for better or worse?"

Dor smirked at Xani, "I do," she said confidently, daring Xani to keep going.

"For richer, for poorer?" Mace asked.

"I'll never be poor, but, yes, I do," Xani said.

"Dorotea?"

"He'lI never be poor, but, I do."

"In sickness and health?"

"I do."

"So do I!" Dor said, even before she was asked, determined not to be upped by Xani.

"Is this a pissing match or a wedding?" Kendra asked Dande.

Dande shrugged, her Wench vibes still too caffeinated to get a good reading.

"To love and cherish, Xanatos?"

"I do," Xani answered.

"To love and obey, Dorotea?"

"To what?" Dor asked, turning on Mace.

"Love and obey," Mace answered calmly.

"Uh oh," Dande whispered as she heard Qui snicker softly next to her.

"Did he pay you to add that? No one promises to obey anymore!" Dor huffed at Mace.

"I vowed to obey," Dande interjected.

The Ho's all moaned in disdain.

Qui-Gon patted Dande's derriere and whispered in her ear.

"You're not helping, Dande!" Dor yelled to her Matron of Honour.

"Hmmm?" Dande asked hazily. She hadn't heard a thing anyone said after QGJ began whispering to her.

Darry took the opportunity to lean over and started explaining to Cic just what sentences she wanted him to write on her later.

"Hey, if they are all going to keep whispering up there, it's going to make the betting difficult!" Han complained. "How are we supposed to know what they're up to? I bet they all have delusions of grandeur or something."

"The vows, Dorotea? Obey?" Mace prompted, eager to get through the ceremony and on to the dancing.

Dor shook her head. "Love, fine, I do. I don't like the fact that I do, but I do. Honor, iffy, but okay. Cherish, still iffy, but okay. Obey? No. Way."

Xani smiled knowingly as he looked Dor straight in the eyes. "I can live with that," Xani said to Mace, and then whispered to Dor, "I like it when you're disobedient, then I can punish you."

Dor waggled her eyebrows, but still kicked Xani, causing him to yelp as Mace continued. "Xanatos, do you take Dorotea to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, forsaking all others?"

There was a long moment when no one in attendance made a sound. Dor held her breath, this was the moment of truth, the moment she would win the game and Xani would back down.

"I do." Xanatos said loudly and confidently.

There was a collective gasp from the guests.

Dor froze for a moment, not believing what she had heard.

Mace continued, "Dorotea, do you take Xanatos to be your lawfully wedded hus --"

Mace stopped as Dor wavered dramatically, then fainted, somehow managing to fall very slowly and without messing up her hair, veil or flowers. Her fall was broken by Xani as he caught her mid-faint.

"Well done." Qui nodded to Xani in appreciation of the good catch.

"That was a beautiful Wench faint," Donna mused.

"I'm so proud of her!" Dande beamed. "Look, she didn't even smudge her mascara when she put her hand to her brow."

"I wonder if she's pregnant!" Laure said.

Xani's eyes widened and he fainted, crumpling to the ground with Dor still in his arms.

Qui, Obi and Dande rushed to the fallen duo.

"Ok, Ellie and Shana, you two each had 'both of them pass out' for your third quarter predictions. You two get to split the prize for this quarter final!" Judy announced.

Ellie and Shana high-fived each other as the other gamblers groaned.

"Round and round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows!" The bartender said. "Hey, it's not over til it's over. I'm still taking new perfecta and box bets on the outcome."

"Well, ok then." Lupin smiled as he reached into his robe for more knuts.

"Hey," Judy asked Qui and the General. "Could you do a Force whammy and see if she's really pregnant? That could change all the betting!"

Qui and Obi exchanged a look. "I don't think that's proper use of the Force, Judith," The General started.

At the same time, Darry gave Xani a jolt of purple lightening and he had jolted awake.

"Wait there's no way she could be pregnant, she's been to busy...But I'll check anyway," the revived Greysider said.

"I wonder who the father is?" Tara asked.

"See, Dorotea is already making her mother a grandmother!" Mrs. Willis complained to her daughter.

Darry rolled her eyes.

Xani put his hand on Dor's stomach for a second and then happily announced, "She's not pregnant!"

"Cool," Emmy said, "Let's go party!"

"Ooh, yes, I have to go change to sing at the reception!" Laure said, grabbing Commo's arm and rushing to her flat.

By this time Dor's harem had surrounded her and Xani had lifted her up. Dande was fussing over Dor, trying to fix her veil, but Da Mastah pulled her away.

"Xani will take care of her, Puff," Qui said giving Xanatos a stern look. "Right, Xanatos?"

Xani nodded at his former master as he carried Dor into the Library, followed by Pelham, Aragorn, Bail and Sirius.

The King of Telos approached Dande. "I want to speak with you about returning to Telos with me."

Dande sighed. "I am not returning to Telos with you! I'm married!"

"I know! And as my wife your place is with your husband!"

"She is with her husband!" Qui growled as he led the Wench away from the confused royalty.

"Think of what this is doing to our son!" The King called after her. "Just what kind of example are you setting for him? Running off with all my money and a hippie!"

"Mastah, is it just me or is all the royalty around here a bit nuts?" Dande asked her husband as they headed to the reception.

"So like, are they married? Or what?" Kendra asked, a bit confused.

"Oh, I don't think so." The General replied, thoughtfully. "I mean, Dor nevah ahnswered the question, did she?"

"Fasten you seat belts, It's not over yet." Judy announced happily. "Gaming table will be set up in the North east corner of the reception hall. See you all there!"