"You better shape up;
You better understand
to my heart I must be true."
'You'e the One I Want', Grease

Finally! Part 5

Dor moaned and shifted. Her head was pounding in pain... No, her whole body ached she decided when she tried to move. She opened one eye and when her head didn't explode she opened the other eye. "Ugh."

A swarm of men instantly surrounded the bed. Dor bolted up, remembering what had happened, "Oh my God! Please tell me I'm not married! I didn't marry all or some of you, did I? Oh, Gods, please tell me I didn't marry Cal!"

Aragorn patted the panicky Librarian's head. "Fret not, love. You did not marry anyone."

Dor sighed in relief and slumped back into bed. "Wait a minute, why am I naked?"

"We didn't think you'd want to stay in the wedding dress."

Dor rolled her eyes. "I have other clothes!"

The men pretended to look befuddled.

"OUT!" Dor screamed.

There was a flurry of, 'But, loves' and other excuses from everyone except Xani, who had stayed silently in the corner of the room.

Dor pulled the down comforter over her head and shouted, "If you're not out in 10 seconds I'm gonna start randomly screaming spells!"

Aragorn led the men out the door, backing up quickly as he held his sword protectively to his chest. Dor sighed in relief as she heard the door click closed and pushed the comforter down. Xani still stood in the corner.

"I want you out most of all!" Dor exclaimed.

Xani arched a brow. "Why, pet?"

"WHY!? WHY?! How dare you say, 'I do', when you really don't!"

Xanatos smirked. "I gotcha you good, baby. I hope Julia got a shot of the look on your face. And you falling on your ass."

Dor glared. "I haven't eaten real food in over a month! Low blood sugar is the only reason I fainted. And I haven't slept in a month either! And it was hot in that damn dress! Pelham might have had a point about velvet and long sleeves in June. And I. HATE. YOU!"

"Obviously. Why else would you have gone to all this trouble just to torment me?"

Dor pulled the comforter back over her head. "Just go away!"

Xani came and stretched out on the bed next to the Librarian. "You know you can't get rid of me that easily. Not even in death. Your own words, remember?"

Dor snapped the comforter down, "Oh, no? It wasn't that hard to get you to go to Paris, was it?"

"Ah, is that what this is all about?"

"So what if it is?"

"I was just doing what you wanted. It was obvious you wanted me to leave so you could have a guilt-free boinkfest with that scruffy, wannabe King, woodsman."

"It was obvious you wanted to go! And the mere fact that you went told me you didn't care who I boinked!" Dor snapped as she climbed out of bed and began rummaging
around for clothes in the closet, her back to Xani.

"It was obvious you were just playing another game with me. 'Let's see what I have to do to get Xanatos worked up.' This entire wedding was a game to you. And I'm not going to play anymore."

"WHATEVER," Dor huffed as she pulled on silver mid-midriff shirt and a long black skirt. "I'm finished playing games with you too!"

"Then that's that. No more games for us."

"No more us!" Dor screamed, fastening a silver chain around her waist. "I've been humiliated by you for the last time."

Dor started toward the door without looking back at Xani.

"I'm the one who said, 'I do'," Xani said.

Dor paused for a second, swallowed hard, then said, "Whatever," she reached for the gargoyle door knob and added, "it's not like you meant it."

"What if I did?"

"You didn't!"

She tried to turn the knob but it wouldn't turn. "No fair using the Force! Let me go." Dor closed her eyes tightly. "I know you're just teasing me. Open the door! Now!"

"Open your eyes, Dor."

Dor slowly opened her eyes to see a small silver box floating in front of her face.

"Show off."

Xanatos grinned and walked across the room to stand behind the Librarian. "Open it."

"No."

"You always have to be difficult, don't you?"

"I'm just afraid something will fly out and bite my nose off."

"It's not something from your voodoo shelf."

Dor arched a brow and reached for the box. She felt a terrible pang in the pit of her stomach and that nagging voice in the back of her head telling her whatever it was, it was dangerous. Not that everything with Xani wasn't dangerous. But this had that 'More dangerous than usual' feel to it.

Dor slowly opened the box and a simple platinum ring floated out. "You're still showing off," Dor commented as she plucked the ring out of the air, but she couldn't stop the
corners of her mouth from turning up, even though she was trying very hard not to smile.

"Read the inscription," Xanatos said.

"Vous et aucun autre."

"You and no other. I had it made when I was in Paris."

"And yet you were going to give me a ring made from a paper clip?"

"You found about that, eh?" Xani laughed.

"I could hear Qui bellowing from Pelham's office!"

"It was a joke."

"A joke?"

Xani sighed, "Okay, maybe I was scared."

"And now?"

"I've decided you're the one I want."

Dor swallowed. "Well, I just said I hated you."

"I hate you, too. So, will you marry me?"

Dor slapped Xani across the face. "SHUT UP!"

Xanatos was unfazed by Dor's unusual response to his proposal, he hooked his fingers in her waist chain and pulled her closer. "Getting frisky, eh?" He smirked. "So, is that a yes or no?"

Dor looked up at the Greysider. "It's insane."

"That's never stopped us before," Xani said as he pulled out a flask from his cloak. "Here's drinking to treason," he said as he took a gulp of Maker's and handed the flask to Dor.

"Up the Republic!" Dor exclaimed before finishing of the Maker's in the flask.

Xani slid the ring on Dor's finger and said, "Let's go find, Mace, he's at the reception. We'll do this right now. I can't afford another wedding."

"You can afford another wedding, but I don't think I'd survive planning it. Wait a minute.. RECEPTION?" Dor asked in disbelief. "They just left me up here, nekkid and passed out, with all of you men? Oh, yeah. Ok, so that's normal for me." Dor muttered. "But then they partied? Oh, yeah. Ok, so that's normal for them. Ungrateful Hos!"

"No, it was mostly the gratefuls that partied the hardest, but the ungratefuls kicked up their heels too." Xani commented.

"Ha ha! That's not the kind of ungrateful I meant! What about Dande and Qui?"

"Dande was in a tizzy, but she had her hands full trying to convince my father that she didn't want to go back to Telos with him. I talked to the Master and assured him I'd handle things up here with you. He seemed to accept that. But I did get 'The Look'.

Dor chuckled. "Ohhh, I know that look well."

"Yeah," Xani snickered. "Me too. Maybe that's why he finally said he thought we were meant for each other."

"He said that?" Dor was surprised.

"Well, yes. Once he finished telling me the type of horrible death I'd suffer if I ever hurt
you." Xani replied with one eyebrow cocked.

"Oh, he's so sweet!"

Xani rolled his eyes and grabbed his Librarian's hand. "So, are we doing this?"

Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach that felt more like piranhas gnawing at her intestines than fluttery wing movements, Dor led Xani down the stairs into the throng of partygoers at the reception.

"Well, at least the reception seems to be a hit," Dor muttered as they scanned the crowd.

"There he is," Xanatos said, pointing through the crowd to Mace, who was grooving with Emmy.

"Can you send him Force vibes? So we can keep this a secret?" Dor asked as they waded through their own wedding reception, although no one seemed to have noticed their arrival. Of course, it was rather dark in the Library. And the liquor had been flowing freely for several hours. And they were Ho's, they were busy.

"Force Vibes? The Force isn't like a walkie talkie, Dor." Xanatos shook his head and tapped Mace on the shoulder. "Follow us."

Emmy protested as her dance partner took off and Cal tried to take his place. Two clunky shoes to the head later, Cal's place was on the floor.

"Now we need witnesses that won't blab to everyone about what we're doing,"Dor said as they led Mace to the crypt.

"Good luck with the no blabbing thing." Mace grumbled. "This place lives for dish."

"I'll get Obi-Wan, you fetch Qui-Gon," Xani answered.

Dor nodded. "Mace, go wait in the crypt, we'll be right back with the witnesses."

Mace gave Dor a look. "You're not just wasting my time or trying to pull one over on me, are you? Because I'm not leaving the party to sit alone in a dark crypt. That's Yoda's idea of a party, not mine."

"Just go before someone sees you and gets suspicious!" Dor snapped, pushing Mace towards the stairs down to the crypt.

Dor and Xani took off in different directions. Xani found Obi-Wan dancing with Kendra, who was spritzing him as they swayed to the music. Kendra looked at the Greysider in surprise. "Hey, where's Dor?"

Xani shrugged at Kendra and told Obi-Wan, "Need some help."

"Did Dor escape?" Obi-Wan asked with a smirk.

Xani made a face at Obi-Wan and motioned for him to follow. Obi-Wan kissed Kendra and said, "We'll continue this later."

Kendra smiled at the General and headed toward the bar for a refill on her drink and some of the yummy headless corpse chocolates.

Dor had grabbed Qui away from a conversation with Cic about building supplies and led him away.

~*~

"Oh, vunderbar Venchen! Hak vil being happy for helping mit das garten stownes. Yah Yah. Vee vil building einnen rock garten por das Vench kinder to play in."

"Oh, thank you Hak! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Dande gushed as she hugged the beefalow.

"Oh, so you're *involved* with him too? Some wife you turned out to be!" King Du Crion muttered into his gin and tonic.

Dande sighed and shrugged her shoulders. Why people from outside couldn't understand the simplest concepts was beyond her.

Slowly, Dande turned as her Wench Senses began to tingle. She watched as Dor pulled Da Mastah away from Cic. She immediately picked up a slight buzz from Dor's Wenchichlorians. Something was going on, something big. As always, she heeded her Wench instincts and followed the Wo and the Mastah.

Emmy, who's own sense of impending dish was quite fine tuned, also felt the disturbance in the Ho/Wo/Wench continuum. The Red Cell Phone of Dish (tm) in her pocket started to make a humming sound.....The harbinger of incoming gossip.

"Dish me, baby." Emmy purred through her mental bond with her phone.

~*~

"Feeling better, Dor?" The General asked as the four of them made their way down the narrow stone steps.

"Not really, but I want to get this over with," the Librarian answered.

Xani pulled Dor's hair. "You're such a romantic," he drawled.

"If I started spouting romantic prose now, you'd faint again!" Dor answered as she stopped on the steps to bite the Greysider's neck.

Xani bit back. And then, well, then they seemed to forget they weren't alone.

Obi and Qui looked away, embarrassed. After several minutes Qui cleared his throat loudly. "I thought you wanted to get this over with."

Dor and Xani ignored or didn't notice Qui's remark and continued groping each other.

At this point Mace had started back up the steps. "I am not staying down here in the dark by myself when there is a party going on with jive women to dance with!...What the hell is this?" He asked as he saw the bride and groom making out.

"This, is why you were brought down here Mace," QGJ answered.

The Bad Mothah Mastah just glared in confusion.

"Yes, I'm afraid you were elected to perform an impromptu wedding ceremony." Obi Wan continued with a smirk. Not just "A smirk," but his own, patented, "Naughty Boy Smirk." In fact, the General was rather put out that none of the Ho's were there to see it.

"Oh, Force! Okay. In that case..........Break it up!" Mace yelled in the Greysider's ear.

Dor and Xani didn't break it up.

"Okay, fine," Mace said, "just say 'I do' at the appropriate time. Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife...and when I say take, I don't mean 'take her'. Because I've already seen the video of that and I don't need to see it live action...WHOA! Hand check!"

~*~

"Hey, where is the Wench going in such a rush?" Judy asked Emmy.

Emmy looked across the Library to see the Wench quickly making her way toward the crypt. As Dande disappeared behind the door, Emmy said, "Something is up, she's not stopping to chat!"

Just then Em's Red Cellphone of Dish rang."Diva," the Wench's voice sang into the phone, "Heads up! I'm in the stairwell to the crypt and Dor, Xani, Qui, Obi and Mace are all here."

"What the frack are they doing in the stairwell?"

"Um, looks like Dor and Xani are, um, hmmm, should get a room and Mace is trying to marry them!"

"I have to see this!" Emmy clicked off her phone and begin calling all the Ho's as she made her way through the crowd. "Judy! Did anyone have 'Not at the ceremony, but later in SEKRIT' for a bet?"

Grabbing her green visor, Judy made for the tote board. "I'll go check. Make sure you get me on the line and give me a play by play. This could be important if more than one Ho bet on this scenario. And if no one had it, I want to open up a new pool on the outcome!"

Emmy nodded at the efficient and shrewd bartender. "That's my girl" She nodded.

~*~

"Xanatos, do you take Dorotea to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, forsaking all others?"

"I do," Xani answered for the second time that evening, although his reply was rather muffled as his face was buried in Dor's neck.

"Was that an 'I do'?" Mace asked Qui and Obi as the stairwell began to fill with Ho's.

The General nodded. "I believe so."

"Did Dor answer yet?" Kendra asked excitedly.

"So much for the Sekrit part," Qui said to the General.

"Dorotea, do you take Xanatos to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, forsaking all others?"

Dor suddenly pulled away from Xani. "All others?" She asked somewhat breathlessly.

Xani grabbed Dor and pulled her back. "All others except Pelham, he doesn't count."

Pelham rolled his eyes, took a drink of champagne and muttered something in French under his breath.

"Okay, then," Dor answered, wrapping her arms around Xani, "I do!"

"By the authority vested in me by the Jedi Council, I pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss, well, I see you have that part under control, let's go party," Mace said as the newly wed couple kissed, er, very passionately.

Pelham raised his champagne glass to the couple with a wistful smile and took a sip, silently toasting them.

"I can't believe he didn't have her sign a pre-nup," the Queen of Paperwork commented, shaking her head.

"You are a very sharp and beautiful woman." The King of Telos said to Shana with a very charming smile. "Have you ever been to Telos? Have you ever been a queen?"

Shana laughed and walked off, shaking her head.

"Iz Vench happy endink, yah? Ok, vee go drinking champagne now," Ivana said, before leading the Scorpion King back toward the bar.

"Ok, it looks like Jen Jen wins the big prize! She bet heavily on 'Wuve, twooo Wuve.' Whoda thunk?" Judy exclaimed as she paged through her notebook. "But there are still substantial wagers pending on murder, destruction, randy bunnies and chicken archery left before morning. It's not over yet! Oh, and someone has just placed a huge sum on the 'Donald's Wanger Shrinking.' I love this job!" Judy grinned happily. "Round and round and round she goes........"

Dor and Xani finished their kiss as the Supreme Chancellor entered the stairwell and patted Xani on the back. Palpy said, "Married, Xanatos? My my. This is a surprise. So your fall to the dark side is now complete."

Dor rolled her eyes as she started to pull Xani down the stairs into the crypt. "Gee, thanks."

"Sure. Fine. Whatever," the Nurse said to Dor and Xani, winking at Palpy and grabbing Cic by the arm to take him to the dance floor.

Dor and Xani began their groping again, ignoring the guests still in the stairwell.

Mace shooed the rest of the crowd out of the stairwell. "Give them their privacy, rather they care or not," he directed as he followed them out, closing the door heavily behind as he entered the Library.

Qui-Gon put his arm around his wife, who was sniffling. "Let's dance, puff."

"Yes, Mastah," she agreed, delicately patting the corners of her eyes. "I'm so happy for them."

As the Mastah wrapped his arms around his Wench for a dance, there was a distant roar of an engine to be heard and it got closer and closer and closer until.

CRASH! BOOM! THUD! CRACK! SNAPPLE! POP!

The possessed Volvo had returned in search of it's Bride. The still magically flaming auto tore into the Library, collapsing the front wall as the wedding guests tore out of the Library using all the exits.

In the throng of refugees outside, Qui shouted to Obi, "Maybe we could Force Whammy it!"

Lupin and Sirius had pulled out their wands. Sirius yelled to Lupin, "You're the DADA professor, what spell should we try?"

The Volvo, unable to find it's TrueLove, tore back out of the Library.

Em threw her clunky shoes.

Obi and Qui performed a mind trick.

Lupin and Sirius screamed a spell.

Ivana, Dande and the WIP girls invoked the power of Wench Magic.

Darry and Palpy stoked up the Imperial lightning.

All the magical energy collided and grew into a massive, pulsating orb of brilliant blue hovering around the possessed auto.

"Blue? Why always Blue?" Mace grumbled. "What about purple?"

Everyone groaned.

The Ewoks watching from the woods bowed to the great God.

"Ruffa Ruffa Wanga Longa." - The great time is at hand! The Dark and Angry God will deliver us from She Who Throws Shoes!"

"Oooga Oooga Mama!" - And She Of the Roses Who Hurts With Scissors!

"Leee Hooo Vaaa......Bantha Poodoo!" Soon, all of the land will be ours, and the Evil Women will be toast.

All the Ho's and EA's and wedding guests began backing away from the energy orb. The orb rose up into the sky and exploded. The shockwaves from the blast blew down the last remaining wall of the Library, which was now just a pile of rubble.

"Dor and Xani are still in the crypt!" Dande exclaimed anxiously.

"I'm sure they're fine, Puff," Qui said gently to his Wench. "That crypt is like a bunker."

"I had already put the Self-Righting Spell on the Library," Sirius explained. "It'll be like new by morning."

"Good, because we can't have an eyesore like that on Campus," the Dean said.

"My clinic is going to be full of dust!" the Nurse exclaimed. "Ellie! Dust buster! Pronto!"

"I guess this party is over," Kendra said.

"Where are Boromir and Tyr?" Tara asked anxiously. "The last I saw them, they were shaking their hoses on the dance floor."

"We're here Cap." Try answered, growling. "No more cakes."

"My Lady, are you all right? Did those commoners hurt you?" Commo asked Laure, full of concern.

"Yes, Commo, I'm fine." Laure smiled.

"Pussy!" Spike muttered. "Ow!" He groused as Laure stepped on his undead foot.

"Giles, will that take care of it?" Donna asked as she snuggled up to the Tweed One, looking worriedly at the remains of the Library and car.

"Oh, it should. I don't think we'll be seeing the car again. And Sirus is quite right, the Library is self righting. It should all be jolly right by morning."

"So, you mean, The Car is gone for good?" Obi Wan asked.

"Yes, quite." Giles answered with a nod.

Getting that grin on his face again, Obi Wan quoted a very old movie.

"You see? It was beauty that killed the beast." He said, wistfully, nodding in the direction of the crypt.

Everyone groaned good naturedly.

Emmy pinched his bum playfully. Hey, why not? It's a beautiful bum, and he's good for it.

~*~

Fookra Kaa Bastage Fargin Ice Holes Zoom - zoom!" The Ewoks screeched. (We are still occupied! Stupid fracking fake deity car! It was a fargin trick! What a bunch of crap!) Suddenly, the creatures dove and ran to escape blaster fire.

"Stupid little fuzz balls! You! Hold still! I'm going to blast each and every one of you!" Han shouted, knocking off at least three of them before they got to cover.

~*~

Meanwhile in the crypt, Dor said, "WOW! I was worried that sex wouldn't be as good after we were married, but I felt the earth move."

"Me too," Xani answered. "That was amazing. I felt a wave of energy surge all around us."

"Again?" Dor asked her husband.

"Yeah, baby!" Xani said as he pounced on his bride.

~*~

The next morning, Dor and Xani emerged from the crypt into the Library. "How did it get cleaned up so fast?" Dor asked.

"It looks better than it did before the reception," Xani commented.

"It does not! All the spider webs are gone and I wonder what happened to all the custom made crystal centerpieces I had specially made for the wedding?"

"You had those ugly things custom made? How much did that cost me?"

"You don't want to know and they weren't ugly! They were gargoyles! Gargoyles are lucky."

"When we get back from our honeymoon, I think we should redecorate."

"What? No! You'll want all that ultramodern crap -- chrome and glass and blech!"

"I don't want all your stone and scary silver crap. Maybe being married will bring out your wench side and you'll want chintz."

Dor made a face at Xani and stuck out her tongue. "Blasphemy!" She exclaimed teasingly. "Oh, but speaking of scary silver crap, I haven't given you your wedding ring yet."

"Should I be worried that you just described it as scary silver crap?" Xani asked.

"Um, no," Dor said quickly. "I'll bet Dande still has it, let's go to the cottage and see."

"Okay, I guess. I wonder if anything interesting happened at the reception after we got married?"

Dor shrugged and they left the Library.

~*~

Dande opened the door to the cottage as Dor and Xani approached.

"It really spooks me that you can do that, Mom," Xani grumbled at the Wench.

Dande just smiled sweetly at the newlyweds. "Xani, Qui is out back grilling, why don't you join him and Dor and I can dish a few minutes before dinner."

Xani wavered a bit.

"If you faint, I'll kick you," Dor warned.

"What is there to faint about now?" The Wench asked Xani.

"It's just so fracking normal, it's scary," Xani grumbled as he walked through the cottage to the back door.

Dande patted Dor's arm. "Don't worry, dear, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"It is awfully normal, isn't it? What if it ruins our relationship? What if we hate each other? What if we fight all the time? Okay, that wouldn't be much of a change, but what if I start getting all excited about new types of oven cleaner and food processors?!" Dor said, freakage mounting suddenly.

The Wench smiled at her friend. "What you're feeling is completely normal, Dor."

"Oh,no! Even my freakage is normal now," Dor wailed in despair.

"Is normal really such a bad thing?" The Wench asked with a smile on her face.

"That is dangerous talk, Puff." Dor said seriously.

"Dor, trust me," the Wench said, "You and Xani will never be a normal couple."

"Promise?" Dor asked.

"Yes," The Wench said without a doubt.

"Okay, then," Dor said, feeling better. "By the way, do you have Xani's wedding ring? I need to say the last part of the spell to active the curses and wards."

"Curses and wards? You never told me about that part." The Wench asked hesitantly as she handed Dor the black velvet box with the ring in it.

Dor nodded, grinning. "I love him and I do trust him, but a little insurance is never a bad thing."

"Have you been talking to Ivana again? Because honestly Dor, something happened to her when Donald left her, she's really not herself and......."

"Yeah, well, we live and learn." Dor answered.

~*~

Dor and Dande stepped out back and smiled at Qui and Xani. Dande was carrying a tray with lemonade (freshly squeezed) on it.

"Here's your ring, Xani," Dor said.

Xani paled a bit, but didn't faint. He held out his hand and Dor slid the ring on, kissing him at the same time. Xani started to return the kiss, then paused and asked, "Why does my skin burn?"

Dor tried to look innocent and flashed Doe-Eyes up at Xani. "Hmm?"

"Dorotea!" Xani said sternly.

"There's a ward on it to keep princesses away," Dor explained, fidgeting.

"And?"

"Um, and just a little spell."

"What sort of little spell?"

Dor grinned. "You'll find out if you ever touch another woman."

"Oh, Dor, that reminds me," Dande interrupted. "Ivana says thanks for the wanger-shrinking spell."

~*~

"YOU PUT A SPELL ON MY WEDDING RING?" Xani tried to pull off the ring, but it wasn't budging.

"And this surprises you....WHY?" Dor asked.

Dande and Qui exchanged a worried look.

"Take the ring off and unspell, despell or whatever you call it. NOW!" Xani bellowed, holding out his hand.

Dor shifted nervously. "Um, well, er, I..um..."

Xani took a deep breath. "Dor...I'm not joking...get it off!"

"Um, I don't know how, really," Dor muttered, looking around for a bottle of Maker's...actually a bottle of *anything*.

Xani started toward Dor and Dande jumped in front of him. "Here, Xani, have a cookie," Dande said quickly, brandishing a double fudge macadamia nut cookie in front of Xani's face. "I'm sure the spell isn't dangerous."

Xani took the cookie, but gave Dande an incredulous look. "Not dangerous? Dor's spells are ALL dangerous because they DON'T WORK! I might suddenly turn into a chicken if I innocently touch a woman's hand or something."

"It doesn't work that way!" Dor exclaimed. "And my spells do work. Well, mostly."

"It's the 'MOSTLY' part that has me worried!"

"I guess I could chop off your finger," Dor snapped. "Otherwise the ring won't come off until I'm dead."

"That can be arranged!" Xani said to Dor.

"ENOUGH," Qui bellowed, promptly thudding Dande. "Dor, you shouldn't have put a spell on Xani's ring without talking to him first."

Dor promptly pouted and Xani said, "YEAH!"

Qui turned to Xani, "And Dor has reasons not to trust you, Xanatos."

Xani tried to look indignant, but couldn't really pull it off.

"But," Qui said in his best "Jedi Diplomat" voice of reason, "The two of you are married now and this is a new beginning for you. You have to let go of the past and start anew. You have to communicate and work together."

Dande smiled lovingly at her husband as she lay on the ground where she thudded. "He's goooooooooood," she thought.

"Now apologize to each other," Qui continued.

"Why do I have to apologize?" Xani demanded. Qui gave him a harsh look. "Okay, I'm sorry, Dor," Xani said sheepishly.

"I'm sorry too," Dor said. "I can probably find a way to take the spell off."

"That's okay," Xani said quickly, "It might be safer just to leave it. But maybe your friend Sirius can make sure it's spelled up right? So I don't turn into a rooster with diamond cufflinks or something?"

"Good idea." Qui said as he helped Dandie up. "I think he's still here, chatting with Lupin. You should have time to see him before you leave for your honeymoon. Where are you two going?"

"WHAT?" Dor and Xani exclaimed simultaneously.

"Your honeymoon." Dande said. "I know you two had plans for a trip around the world. What's the matter?"

Dor and Xani stared at each other. Suddenly, they were both worried what might happen if they were left to their own devices.

"What if he makes me angry and there's no one to stop me from spelling him into a toad?"

"What if she pisses me off and I stomp out to the bar, and I see a woman there that's hot, and I turn into a sea slug or something?"

"And what if he tries to kill me again!" Dor added.

"Yeah, that too!" Xani exclaimed.

"Just make sure that neither of you freak and/or try to kill each other." QGJ said calmly.

"Oh, fine. Easy for you to say." Xani grumbled.

"Dande, I can call you, right? Like, in a hex emergency?" Dor asked.

"No." Qui-Gon answered.

"NO?" Dande, Dor and Xani all asked together.

"No." Qui-Gon said again, more gently this time. "Puff and Cara and I are going on holiday. I want them all to myself for a while."

"Oh Mastah! How wonderful! In all the excitement, I'd forgotten! Where are we going?"

"Yeah, where are you hauling her off to...I mean, where are you taking them? You know, so I can call?" Dor asked, nervously. "Pack your cell phone, Puff." She whispered.

"Well, it was to be a sekrit, but we're going to Great Britain. A tour of the country. We're going to visit England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales.

"Oh Mastah! How lovely! The dogs will love it too!" Puff answered, gushing.

"Dogs?" QGJ asked. Not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Well, they *are* Celtic dogs, my Mastah. It wouldn't really be nice of us to leave them home, now would it?" Dande batted her lashes and grinned.

The Master knew the game. He knew the odds were against him at this point. He also knew that a good long term strategy would be to bring up the fact that the collies had been allowed to come along at a later date, thereby securing him much fawning and fussing and general appreciation. He was a Mastah at this, after all.

"Very well Puff, tell them to pack." He said with a smirk.

"But...But...But........" Xani began, stuttering. "What's to say I won't kill Dor?"

"You never have before." The Master commented, dryly. "Even when she did spell you."

"You know..." Dor whispered to Xani. "London could be really cool."

"Oh, it is!" Dande began excitedly. "Think of Harrods, and all the chintz! Think of the riding I can do. Oh, I'd better tell Burton to pack to."

"The horse?" The Master asked with a cocked eyebrow. This was going a bit far, even for the Puff.

"Oh, he'll love it! He's always wanted to see Ascot, and we can go on a fox hunt. Do you think they'd agree to hunt princess chickens instead? And then he can stay at the beautiful English stables and we can go to tea, and then to see the rose gardens. We must remember to bring some rose bushes back for Shana. Oh, and don't forget the pubs and all the sights!" Dande was on full out ramble.

"What about the Tower of London?" Dor asked, getting goosebumps.

"Oh yes! The Crown Jewels are there!" Dande enthused. I can't wait to see those."

"What about the Traitor's Gate?" Xani asked, showing interest. "And the spot where they beheaded Lady Jane?"

"Ohhh, and the ghosts, don't forget the ghosts!" Dor purred.

"You know Dor," Xani purred. "I'd like to get you alone by the Traitor's Gate at midnight and....."

"Ohhh, you're such a romantic!" Dor grinned.

"Hey! Why don't you both come with us!" Dande suggested, thinking she'd just had the most brilliant thought ever.

The Master gave them all "The Look."

"But Mastah, think of it this way. They were going around the world *anyway.* Why can't they just start in London? Think of the fun the four of us could have in London? Then when we go on to Wales, Ireland and Scotland, they can go on to the rest of Europe."

"Yes, I want to go to Spain." Xani added. "Do you think there are still dungeons from Torquomada's time? I'd love to see those - At night, alone - With you." He leered at Dor.

Dor giggled.

"Dor?" Xani asked, with a very highly raised brow. "Did you really giggle?"

"Pay up." The Master grinned. "I believe we had a side wager. I had 75 on Dor giggling." He said with a smirk.

Xani grumbled.

"Oh, how fun!" Dande gushed in a very Wenchy way. And think how Mary Poppins will love it too! I'm sure she wants to see Dick Van Dyke again."

"Umm, sure,mom." Xani said hesitantly. He looked at the Master worriedly. QGJ waved him off. As Dande rushed off with Dor in tow to see to the thousand Wenchly things she needed to do to get her family, the dogs, the horse and the nanny ready to go to Jolly Old England, QGJ turned to Xani.

"I can't explain it. It's a mystery. She can sense my thoughts and feelings, she knows what's coming, and her Wench magic is very very strong. She really has a very sharp mind hidden in that fluffy packaging. But for some reason, the Ditzichlorians are strong with her. I can't make any sense of it. I rather like it, though. It's quite endearing." He said with a fond smile.

"You're getting soft, you know." Xani snorted.

"Aye. And so are you." The Master responded. Only the faintest smile showing, the kind that made his eyes crinkle around the edges.

"Great, now I'm feeling sick." Xani groused as QGJ patted him on the back.

"Xani, what's that tune Dor is singing?" The Master asked.

"Oh, it's about Anne Boleyn. It's called, 'With her head tucked underneath her arm.' It's one of her favorites. It's about a ghost."

~*~ In London ~*~

"You didn't pack much, Dor," Xani noted as he looked at her mostly empty suitcase on the bed in the manor they had leased with Dande and Qui.

"Why would I pack my old stuff when I can just buy new stuff here?" Dor asked.

"Dor! Ah, well, you don't need clothes for a honeymoon anyway," he smirked naughtily.

Dor waggled her eyebrows, but before she could pounce there was a knock at the door. Dor opened the door and the Wench breezed in. "I found a great tour, Dor!"

"Haunted castles?" Dor asked excitedly.

"A British Countryside Cottage Tour! Think of all the chintz and rosebushes!"

"Well, we might be a little busy for that this week..." Dor started.

Xani wrapped his arms around Dor and pinched her. "Dor will have plenty of time for that Cottage tour, I'm sure," Xani said with a grin. "But right now we are unpacking."

The Wench grinned knowingly. "I understand. I'm going to go bounce Da Mastah while Mary Poppins still has Cara at the park! I hope she didn't take the baby on another chalk painting escapade, that always makes the Master cross." Shrugging, Dande continued, "Oh, well, as she doesn't come home with chalk dust in her hair, who says he has to know everything that goes on anyway?" she smirked. "Oh, but you might want to look out the window, Dor," the Wench said as she quickly departed from the room.

Dor untangled herself from Xani and went to the window and pulled back the curtains. "Oh. My. God!"

"What? It's not the police, is it?" Xani asked.

"Why would the police be here?" Dor asked.

"No reason," Xani said quickly as he looked out the window. "DAMN! How did that frackin' dragon find us!?"

"I don't know! But isn't it wonderful?" Dor enthused as Draco happily puffed smoke rings at his Pet and Dark Man. "Give me your boots, he's probably starving!"

"Feed the beast your boots!" Xani said. "These are brand new. Custom made in Italy! Draco!" Xani yelled out the window. "You *do* realize this is England, right? They *slay* dragons here!"

"Xani!" Dor exclaimed, then she grinned at Xani who had started to back away from her. "Want to play hard to get, eh? I'll get those boots off of you," Dor said as she pounced.

Much wrestling, rolling and groping followed. Poor Draco was still waiting for the boots hours later.

THE END