Title: HSU Fic: Pub Party
Authors: Dynamic Duo - Kendra and Ellie (I decided we needed titles <g>)
Rating: SM – Sneaky mayhem
Archive: You bet
Disclaimer: All characters belong to GL, Marvel Comics, Peter Jackson, Tolkien and whoever else we´ve borrowed from. No money made, so don´t sue.
Summary: The Bartender´s away, the Ho´s will play…in her pub.
Note from Ellie: Kendra trusted me to do the quick clean up
before posting, so all mistakes left are my fault. <g>

Shrugging the backpack onto her shoulder, Judy shifted slightly, adjusting the weight before reaching down to the handle of her luggage.

“Let's go over this again,” the barkeep began. “No explosions or burns of any kind…”she reiterated for what her padawan figured was the thousandth time in the last five minutes.

Leaning against the edge of the bar, quickly pushing herself away upon noticing Judy's raised brow of discontent at the action, Kendra sighed loudly. “Check…” the Water Ho replied, tossing the lime she held in her hand as if trying to juggle.

“No smudges on the bartop…”

“Check…”

“No watermarks on the bartop as well…”

“Check…”

“No scratches, dents, discolorations or damage of any kind to the bartop…or anything else,” Judy quickly added, just to be on the safe side.

“Yep, gotcha,” Kendra answered, lunging for the lime so it wouldn't fall to the floor.

Judy narrowed her gaze. “There will be no touching of the bat, either.”

“At least let her bash one of the miners in the knee caps,” Darry spoke up from her spot at the bar, holding a martini glass in the air, watching the clear liquid swirl enticingly.

Cutting her gaze to the Nurse, Judy scowled before turning back to her padawan. “Bash anybody you like, but not with my bat. It's finally broken in perfectly to my liking. I'll know if its been moved, clutched, touched or breathed upon.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…Oh, check, check, check,” Kendra agreed, quickly stooping down to pick up the suddenly dropped lime, making Judy sigh to watch the Water Ho now scurry about trying to catch up with the wayward fruit.

For a brief moment as the Ho watched her padawan, the thought occurred that maybe it wasn't such a bright idea to leave her in charge of the pub. Yes, it was a test of sorts. Yes, Hak was going to be around, but still…and the General had promised to keep an eye on things as well…but still.

At about the exact moment Judy had changed her mind, deciding to stay on campus, strong arms wrapped about her waist from behind and warm breath caressed her left ear.

“Don't worry. Go, enjoy your Bahtendah's Convention and rest assured everything will be in the same shape you left it in,” the General purred, then noticed his secretary as she stood, grinning madly at retrieving the errant lime before tripping over the Nurse's new Prada purse.

“Watch the leather!” Darry exclaimed, grabbing her purse out of the line of fire and quickly pulling out a buffing cloth from within to touch up the shine.

Wincing slightly, the General quickly grabbed Judy's luggage and guided her to the pub door in one fluid motion. “No worries, Judith. I assure you, I'll help keep an eye on things while you're gone,” he reassured, while the Ho's steps slightly faltered, not wanting to step across the threshold of her beloved pub.

“Have a nice trip!” Kendra shouted, watching as Judy took one last, long look about the pub before the General bodily nudged her outside.

“We've got to hurry, love, or I'll nevah get you to the airport in time for your flight,” the Jedi could be heard encouraging.

**Insert incomprehensible nervous babbling** “…I've got a bad feeling about this,” Judy could be heard muttering.

~~*~~

Ellie watched as the General´s car made it´s way down the drive and then finally turning onto the main road and out of sight.

“All right, boys, coast´s clear!” Ellie screamed and suddenly the bushes outside the pub came to life. Han, Indy, Logan and Haldir all appeared reluctantly.

“I´m going in to get a beer,” Logan snarled.

“You´ll do no such thing until you´ve finished helping me. Or no more hanky panky.”

Logan sneered for a moment but moved over to one of the slots anyway.

“Are you sure about this?” The rogue archaeologist questioned as he took up position by one of slots.

Ellie gave him a look and he knew there would be no discussion.

The rain had been falling steadily for almost an hour while they had waited for the Bartender to leave for the airport. Even though they had put up tarps, there was still water seeping down and onto her precious slot machines.

“I do not see where I have anything to do with this matter,” the blonde Elf said superiorly.

“Oh, can it, pretty boy,” Logan snapped. None of her men were too keen on the newcomer, even though he was merely friendly company for their woman and did not ever share her bed.

All four of the men turned back to their task at hand, and then collectively sighed before getting to it.

Ellie wasn´t about to leave it all to them, they were *her* slots after all. She hitched up her cutoff jeans and sloshed over in galoshes and helped load the machines onto dollies. When the first group was ready they started rolling them inside.

Only to be stopped at the door by a very nervous Ho. Kendra stood in the doorway looking very disheveled and biting her nails.

“I don´t know, El, if Judy catches wind of this she´ll, well, she´ll…” the Ho couldn´t voice the possibilities of punishment that Judy could inflict if they were caught.

“Quit being a wimp,” Ellie said as she pushed past her former roomie with her prized Haywire slot machine. She huffed as she pulled the heavy machine into the pub and positioned it against the far wall.

“Boys, line ‘em up here,” she directed as her harem (and Haldir, just an EF remember!) moved everything in.

Kendra gasped as one of the slots landed loudly on the hardwood floor.

“Oh, I don´t know,” she said, running over to where Han had just pulled the dolly free.

“Hey, don´t look at me, talk to the Boss,” he said motioning towards the vet.

“Oh, give it up, girl,” Delphi piped up from a table nearby. “It could be fun to have some new entertainment in here.”

“Do I not keep you entertained enough?” Worf asked. Delphi squealed and pulled him into a kiss.

Kendra looked around the pub. Almost all the Ho´s and Wo´s were there with all their men in tow. It did seem to be turning into quite the party. Even Jael and Max had come down from their tower to join in the fray. She did note Qui-Gon sitting alone, bouncing a giggling Cara on his lap. The Wench must be on her way.

“Margarita?” Dor shoved the frozen drink into Kendra´s hand and went back to her table where Laure sat waiting, shrouded in black. Dorotea was going over her resurrection spell not realizing it was falling on deaf ears. Laure knew better than to let the Librarian play with spells. Though she might still let her sacrifice some chickens just for fun.

~Across campus~

"Oreo?" Dande asked, placing the plate of cookies before her unexpected visitor.

Raising a dark brow suspiciously, he declined with a dismissive wave of a gloved hand and watched intently as the Wench began to take the plate away.

Suddenly, striking out like a snake, there was a loud 'clink' of cane against fine china as the Oreo cookies departure was instantly halted.

This action only earned the guest, Dande's most powerful Wenchly ‘eyebrow raise of disapproval´, making even Lucius Malfoy feel the unmistakable urge to squirm uncomfortably under the stare.

Clearing his throat, Lucius recovered from the strangely odd sensation. "Perhaps I will have just one…" he informed, extending an elegantly, leather gloved hand to the plate of Oreos and picked up a single cookie. His hand hovered momentarily over the remaining items before deciding to grab a handful of Oreos instead.

Seeing her guest obviously enjoying the offered snack, Dande smiled and took the seat across from him, his momentary 'guestly' indiscretion forgotten. "So tell me, Mr. Malfoy, what brings you to my cottage today? I was just on my way out to the pub party. Aren´t you supposed to be there as well?"

Lucius steepled his hands before his chest, trying to hide the fact that he had just crammed his pocket full of cookies. "I was told by Delphi that you are the one I should seek for my slight…problem," he confided coolly before removing the elegant top hat he wore from atop his head. “I´d prefer this be attended to before attending the gathering.”

Dande couldn't fight the gasp of shocked horror that spilled from her lips at the sight. "Roots! Dark Roots!"

"Sadly…yes," Lucius agreed, sighing heavily over his hair dilemma.

In the blink of an eye, Dande was pulling the wizard from his seat and dragging him to her private salon. "There is no time to waste, Mr. Malfoy! This is a true hair emergency if I've ever seen one!" She excitedly exclaimed.

The shock of the flowery, pink and yellow hair salon momentarily took Lucius aback and he shielded his eyes with his hands while being shoved unceremoniously into a chair. "You do know what you are doing?" He questioned with a scowl.

"Mr. Malfoy, just who do you think does the Elf's blonde locks when he needs a slight touch-up?" The Wench informed, earning her a disgruntled 'hair' growl at the reference to Legolas.

Taking a deep breath, slowly releasing it, Lucius nodded his agreement for the Wench to do what must be done.

"I have to say, the Elf has wonderful hair," Dande chattered, busily gathering her supplies.

Grunting through clenched teeth. "It is…adequate," Lucius bit out reluctantly.

Dande just shook her head at the hair rivalry between the two and whispered under her breath. "Men…"

"Muggles and…damned bloody Elves" Lucius growled distastefully to himself.

~Later, back at the pub~

Lucius had just sauntered into the room, attracting many sneers and a few girlie grins before taking a seat with Delphi and Worf. He had left his hat in his suite and was wearing his hair down in lovely, icy waves.

“Sorry, I´m late!” The Wench puffed as she came bouncing in the bar. “What have I missed?” She asked as she scooped her daughter up into a hug. “Oh, dear!” She exclaimed upon seeing the slots lined up against the wall and more being wheeled in by Ellie´s men. Haken and a few barbarians had joined them and the work was moving faster. Almost every empty space in the bar was taken by a gambling machine. The rain was still coming down and Ellie was getting even more concerned about water damage to her games.

“What kept you, Puff?” Qui-Gon queried as his wife sat down and sipped the Shirley Temple waiting for her on the table.

“Oh, you know, hair emergency.”

Lucius quickly caught her eye across the room and moved his hand inside his cloak as if reaching for his wand. Dande simply winked and went on about the rain and frizz and hairspray, but nothing about his roots. As she finished her tale she thought she actually might have seen the hints of a smile at the corner the wizard´s mouth.

Kendra had finished her first margarita in record time and was already pouring another from the machine.

“El…” she began to fret again between sips.

“Hey, Kendra, why don´t you go out and help Legolas with that last machine?” Ellie prodded, hoping desperately to get her harried friend to calm down.

“Out, out…in the rain?” The Water Ho stuttered.

“Oh, yeah, he´s soaked to the bone. He…” But she didn´t even get the second sentence out before Kendra had put her unfinished drink down on the bar and rushed out the door to ogle wet braids. The half-full margarita glass quickly began to sweat and form a water circle on the bar. But no one noticed in the excitement of the pub. Lorne had the jukebox blaring the best songs and people were helping themselves to unending alcohol from the bar´s stores.

This party was going to rock and Judy would never know. They didn´t have anything to worry about.

~~*~~

“Alright, just where´s the Elf?” Kendra demanded minutes later as she stepped back into the pub and eyed Ellie critically as her ex-roomie sat at her beloved Haywire machine pumping in the coins at record pace.

“What?” Ellie asked, not moving her eyes from the little rolling forms before her. “ What Elf?”

“You know, the wet Elf you sent me outside to find. The same Elf that was supposedly helping wheel in the last of your slot machines, which by the way better be out of here by the time Judy gets home. But the only Elf I found was Haldir…and he wasn´t even wet since the rain has let up, and you know an Elf dries quickly, ” Kendra blathered toweling herself dry with Logan´s discarded jacket.

“Oh…that Elf, sorry, they all tend to look alike sometimes,” Ellie remarked in monotone as her eyes began to glimmer with slot machine fever.

“Fine, be that way,” Kendra groaned, totally let down with the lack of wet whatever´s. “Anybody see the General lately? Maybe he´s wet!” She loudly asked but was ignored by the gathered mass of people nearly shoulder to shoulder in the pub, the overflow drifting into Laure´s cabaret where she was planning an impromptu show, a salute to her beloved Spike.

Just then, Tara walked into the pub and huffed as she stomped her flip-flop footed way to the bar and pounded a fist. This action earned her a glare from her busy fellow Water Ho who was now trying to help tend bar to a very packed house.

“Hey! Watch it! You dent, you buy, Judy has a fit and I…well, I…just don´t do it again,” Kendra snapped, ignoring the loud plea for a pitcher of mead emanating from Aragorn at the nearby table.

“Coaster,” Tara sing-songed, holding up the item she had pounded with her fist. “But enough about you, I thought this was supposed to be Hawaiian night?”

“Huh?” Kendra grunted, ignoring once again Aragorn´s pleas and hand waving—the same ignoring the Ho had been doing for the past hour.

“That´s what the posted flyer outside the station said. Hawaiian party night in the pub,” Tara reiterated, sounding disappointed. “I wore my new tropical sarong, bathing suit and those cool flip-flops I picked up the other day when Laure and I went “mourning” shopping.”

“Milady, a pitcher of mead for me and my…” Aragorn interrupted, elbowing his way to the bar and the padawan bartender.

“Yeah, yeah…” Kendra mumbled, waving the Ranger off, wishing instead to talk about her fellow Ho´s new water attire.

Sighing loudly, raking a hand through his already disheveled hair, Aragorn slowly hung his head for a second before glancing back up and seeing Legolas skateboard into the pub. It took the ‘would be king´ by surprise to see the Elf dressed—well, in his normal Elf clothes. Surely this must be a new part of the sinister plot of the Orcs and Sauron´s shoe woman—distract, throw off, and conquer.

Waving the Elf to the end of the bar, Aragorn told the other of the mead dilemma that had been facing him. With a clasp of his hand to Legolas´ shoulder for reassurance, the Ranger set forth a plan of action. Afterwards, Aragorn nodded to the other and both plastered a look of grim determination upon their faces as they surveyed the scene.

“‘Tis something that must be done,” Aragorn encouraged the other.

Taking a deep breath, turning his Elven gaze to the mission ahead, Legolas stepped closer to the two Water Ho´s.

“…Have you thought about putting in a hot tub or Jacuzzi in the far corner near the dart board? I mean they do have those inflatable ones that are up and ready to use in minutes…I think I might even have a spare back at the station,” Tara suggested, watching as the other Ho scrounged for a pen and napkin, hoping to sketch things out.

“You know, I´ve never thought of that but it would be…”

“Milady, my fellow companions and I would like to request a pitcher of your best mead,” Legolas spoke up, his blonde braids glinting in the light of the pub in a most alluring way.

Quickly shoving the napkin and pen in Tara´s direction, Kendra blinked slowly as she ogled the Elf, her fingers tingling to fondle a braid. “Yeah, sure…no problem,” the Water Ho answered, going right about the task.

“Oh brother…” Tara coughed, shaking her head before getting to work on possible pub hot tub plans for the evening.

Pushing the pitcher across the bar to the Elf, Legolas nodded his thanks. “‘Tis truth what I said the other day. Your archery skills are much improved, you can hit the broad side of a barn if the wind is right and your ‘odd´ arrows cooperate,” he added then disappeared like only an Elf can do.

“Question, just what was in that pitcher you gave the Elf?” Tara wondered. “I didn´t know Judy had mead around here,” she commented, not looking up from her sketch.

Shrugging her shoulders, Kendra leaned down upon her elbows to get a look at what the other was doodling as the sound of slot machines filled the air.

“No idea, some sort of foreign beer…mead smead. Just what is mead anyway?” The General´s secretary asked as Tara rolled her eyes.

~~*~~

“So tell me, have you thought about a séance?” Dor asked, glancing up from her big spell book, looking over the rim to Laure.

Raising the black veil over her face so she could take a sip of champagne, Laure shook her head in the negative. “Uh…no…” the mediator answered, sighing dramatically then downing the rest of her drink before hiccuping.

“Fine, just as well. I´m not honestly sure about this whole Spike situation anyway. I mean that whole dead—undead deal is so confusing with vampires. Plus, too, it does tend to make these resurrection spells super tricky…”

Laure quickly raised a blurred glare to the Librarian who paid no attention as she flipped the page. “I said, no resurrection spell…not yet, I need the rest right now. But please feel free to turn a princess into a chicken, Cal into a chipmunk, an Ewok into a rug…just feel free,” she hiccuped again.

“Cool!” Dor exclaimed looking about the pub for a victim…err…reluctant volunteer.

“What do you think of ‘Love Bites´?” The mediator unexpectedly asked, looking thoughtfully to her cabaret and the people streaming inside.

“Love it, didn´t know you were into that stuff, I´ll have to tell Xani.”

“Huh?”

Dor once again looked over the top of her spell book before sitting it to the table before her as she took a swig of Maker´s. “Love hurts—tough love, that is what you were talking about, right?”

Laure grabbed the champagne bottle and tipped it up to her glass but nothing came out. “Great, garcon, more champagne!” Laure shouted, snapping her finger in Hak´s direction and the big beefalow looked totally perplexed. “No, I was talking about a song to sing at the tribute show to Spike in a few minutes.”

“Oh,” Dor mumbled, watching as Laure kept snapping her fingers at Hak before the big guy quickly disappeared.

“The service here sucks. And they call this a fine French restaurant?” Laure griped, earning her a raised brow from the Librarian.

“Tribute, sure. You´re not going to be on the swing tonight are you?” The Librarian quizzed, trying to keep the amused excitement out of her voice but failing miserably.

Laure pushed herself from the table and stood, grabbing the empty champagne bottle to bring with her for a refill. “Yes, the swing is the grand finale. No net, no pillows this time. Maybe I´ll just do some big, dark medley of Spike´s favorite songs,” she stated, beginning to head to the bar, tripping over the black lace train of her dress.

“This should be good to watch,” Dor mused aloud. “Pelham, Xani, come quick, Laure is going to fall from the swing again and possibly break her neck!” She shouted, hoping to be heard over the roar of the crowd.

“I am not going to be fixing any annoying, broken necks!” Darry shouted in return from the same barstool she had been sitting at all evening, the only difference now, was that she was feeding quarters to her husband while he played slots.

~~*~~

The campus was deserted, quite deserted the General thought as he strolled leisurely from the parking lot up to the wet sidewalk outside the Admin building. Odd, he mused, looking about and only spotting the one or two students scurrying in the same direction, towards the pub.

Shoving his hands in the pockets of the leather jacket he wore, the Jedi absentmindedly read the flyer taped with duct tape to the lamppost beside him. “Spell Night Tonight…join us in the pub,” he read aloud, cocking his head to the side curiously.

A few more steps and there posted to the next lamppost was another flyer. “Hawaiian Paradise in the pub…” he again read aloud and raised a brow.

“Come join us for the Galactic Bash of the century,” the General mumbled upon seeing the next flyer glued to the back of a bench.

“Wake in progress,” the General read, scratching his head in utter confusion, especially as someone had scrawled in a ‘Sharpie´ pen beneath, ‘proceed at your own risk, the mediator is drinking again´.

The closer the General walked to the pub, the more he ran through a thousand and one scenarios, each worse than the one before as he read flyer after flyer of events taking place within those four walls. Or at least he hoped the pub still had four walls and a roof.

“Casino Night…blahst, what is going on?” He exclaimed, his hands now raking through his hair as the lights, the sirens and bells from slot machines, and music emanating from the open pub doors were near enough to vibrate the ground he walked on, not to mention out shine that bothersome light from the lighthouse.

Just then the General, having quickly maneuvered out of the way of a herd of Ewoks that nearly ran him over trying to escape the noise, now stood at the entrance of the pub…

~~*~~

Tara and Kendra were once again huddled over a napkin, this time sketching out how best to bring in the blow up Jacuzzi. Tara´s boys were on their way over with it now that the rain had let up.

“Freuline, da flur iz still vet,” Haken tried to tell the busy Water Ho. “Freuline Judy alvays had me dry da flur.”

Kendra just waved her hand dismissively without even looking up from her work. The beefalow huffed and rolled his eyes. He was getting used to the Ho´s; this was nothing new.

He took out a mop from the closet and began making passes around the room with it, trying to get the last drops from the earlier rainstorm. Between Judy and Dande, he knew his way around cleaning supplies.

~~*~~

“Move it…get lost…watch it!” Emmy exclaimed, elbowing her way into the pub from the side entrance.

Grunting loudly, shoving a clunky, strappy sandaled foot quickly before her, the Diva managed to send a drunken miner to crash face first into the floor. “Move it or lose it, its not important to me,” Emmy warned, shoving another flailing, sweaty body out of the way.

Shaking her head, glowering about the packed pub that resembled a mosh pit in the midst of a Vegas casino. The Diva found that even by standing tiptoe in her clunky sandals, she couldn´t find who she was looking for—the Elf.

*Insert ear-splitting whistle by the Dean, here*

Of course nobody in the entire pub noticed and continued dancing, drinking, gambling, plotting galactic downfalls, spells…oh hells, just about anything and everything…only managing to frustrate the Dean even more.

“Anybody seen the Elf?” She shouted to those nearest her, all shaking their head in the negative. “Stupid Elf—he is so going to be miserable when I get done with him. How dare he damage my GDC,” she rambled aloud.

Instantly, Darry shoved a coaster in the Diva´s hand. “Here, sign it,” the Nurse ordered, waving her full martini glass about without the first drop sloshing over the rim, even after getting jostled by a sweaty miner.

“What is it?” Emmy asked over the roar of music and slot machines, looking at the item cautiously.

“No idea, door prize or some such rot, I suppose,” Darry remarked as she shoved her way back to her barstool.

For some reason, odd as it was, the Diva felt compelled to put her signature on the coaster. Breaking out her unmistakable shade of glittery lipstick, she left her mark then tossed the coaster to the bar.

Before the Diva could see where the item landed, a bright yellow, foamy blur flew past her head and *thunked* loudly against the mirror at the far end of the bar as it slid to the floor, leaving a smudge where it had hit.

Turning about to see where the Nerf arrow originated, the Dean fully suspecting to find the General´s secretary behind the incident, but instead found the wayward Elf coaching Commo on the use of the odd weapon.

Instantly, a wall of sweaty, stinky, sticky miners seemed to surround the Dean before she could even take a step towards her prey. “I need a drink,” she groaned, giving up, biding her time before she caught up to the Elf and figured out a torturous new outfit to put him in. With a deep sigh, Emmy elbowed one particular miner in the ribs, making him double over so she could brush by him and demand a drink.

“What do I have to do to get some service?” The Diva screamed as she made her way to the bar with her empty glass.

“Open bar, get your own drinks, we´re busy!” Kendra yelled from the other end.

Emmy stood there for a moment pondering who was closest that she could send for a drink. She spotted the big German mopping nearby and tried waving him over.

As she walked behind the table where Dor and Laure sat arguing about death, her clunky, strappy sandals slipped on the last puddle in the room. Her eyes widened in shock as she began to lose her footing. She reached out for anything to stop her fall. Where was the General and his Force now? Qui-Gon was busy with Cara and Xani was bent over his laptop playing Twisted Sims (Offworld´s knock-off version of Sims). Then her hand found something sturdy; she latched on and just managed to catch herself.

“OW! What the fuck, Emmy?” Laure screamed and reached up to massage her neck where Emmy had grabbed it. Laure´s sudden movement jostled the table, sloshing champagne and Maker´s onto the table.

“HEY! What the fuck, Laure? My Maker´s!” Dor shouted.

All three Ho´s glared at one another for a moment, shrugged and went back to their business.

Jael, having heard shouting had drawn her sword. Max patted her shoulder reassuringly and persuaded her to re-sheath it.

~~*~~

The General entered the pub and almost turned around and walked out to make sure he was in the right place. The bar was full to the point that it was difficult to walk around. All of Ellie's slot machines lined the walls, and the firemen seemed to be constructing what looked like a blow up hot tub in the last remaining free corner. Various men kept taking turns manually blowing into the valve. It was very slow work, as inebriated men tended to have very little lung capacity.

An impromptu poker game had started at another table where Logan was trying to teach Haldir, Legolas and Aragorn how to play. All seemed to think the game entirely beneath them. Han was yelling instructions over their shoulders. Trouble was, he was telling them sabaac moves.

The General barely made it across the room and behind the bar. He surveyed the scene. Judith would not be happy. And he did not like to see one of his girls unhappy. She wouldn't be returning until tomorrow, there was plenty of time to remove the slots, the hot tub, wax the floor and bartop and restock the spirits. He didn't like to be untruthful, but as long as she had no reason to suspect anything, he wouldn't *really* have to lie to her.

Just as he was organizing a plan the phone rang. He could barely hear it over all the noise.

"Hello," the General answered smoothly.

"Obi-Wan? What is all the racket?" The Bartender sounded frantic.

"Judith dahling, one of the miners simply has the television up too loud. I'll take care of it. Hold on." The General placed a hand over the receiver then surprisingly shouted, "Quiet!"

The whole bar went silent and looked at him.

"Oh, no, is that Judy?" Kendra had run over to the General and began to fidget with the napkin in her hand. "Oh, no, she'll flay me. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."

The General held up a hand. He looked around the room sternly, silently letting everyone know to remain quiet.

Then he picked up the receiver again. "You see, love, it was nothing. Yes, of course, everything is all right here. Kendra has everything running smoothly. Yes, I'll pick you up tomorrow."

"Dude, I win!" The skater Elf suddenly yelled. Not only was the outburst shocking since the whole room was trying to remain hushed, but also since the Firstborn were usually more reserved. Everyone in the room made a quiet shushing noise and Kendra nearly fainted.

"No, dear, must be something on the line."

Across the room, Ellie, in her daze had just pulled the bar again. The wheels began to spin along with its accompanying jingling and jangling.

Cal, who was trying to hide in the back of the bar and drink a beer, knocked the mug over in silent fright.

The General held out a hand calmly, stopping the glass from hitting the floor and halting the spinning wheels. Cal fainted. Ellie whirled around to complain and finally clued in on what was going on and remained quiet.

The General kept talking coolly. "I sure will. Yes, of course. Good-bye, love."

They'd made it. A collective sigh of relief swept through the bar. The General had taken Kendra aside to sort things out.

Darry and Cicero skipped out early to keep working on his cursive letters.

Laure led her Emperor and most of the group into the cabaret for her Spike memorial.

Ellie just kept feeding her machines coins.

Haldir and Legolas just won the last of Logan's money. He slashed the table in two before Han and Indy calmed him down. He'd need his energy when Ellie finally realized that the slots would have to be moved back out.

Aragorn and Jael were discussing upping the campus' defenses. You know, just in case of Orcs. Max sat by and simply rolled his eyes.

Emmy tapped her foot impatiently as she finished her cosmopolitan. She had an appointment with the General after this.

Tara and her men had just gotten the hot tub inflated and were beginning to fill it with water. It was too bad they would just have to take it right down.

~~*~~

The General stood before his secretary, hands on his hips, the leather of his jacket making that sound that was most alluring when he moved.

"Would you care to explain all…this?" He asked, nodding to the pub, which seemed to be as an official disaster area, all it truly needed was a flood or fire and things would be complete.

"No," Kendra answered before her quilt whatevers began to quiver slightly. "It wasn't my idea. It wasn't my fault…"

Holding up his hands to stop what he knew would be a long, rambling explanation, the General relented and just sighed. "Not exactly your fault if all the 'party in the pub' flyers about campus are any indication," he mused as Kendra looked at him in confusion and Emmy sank into a barstool with a huff as she looked at her watch.

"Times a ticking, we've got a moonlight stroll to get to," Emmy reminded as the General gave her a wink.

"Oh, that is so not right…the flyers…not the stroll," Kendra snapped. "Not a soul mentioned to me that they posted signs…and to top it all off, they didn't even invite me to the first party."

The General didn't blink an eye but leaned forward and kissed his secretary tenderly, as he couldn't help but grin as he pulled away. "I have a moonlight stroll to get to, and you have a pub to start piecing back togethah. I'll stop by later and help," he promised before stepping from behind the bar and taking Emmy by the hand to lead her outside.

Suddenly, Kendra hopped upon the bartop. "Okay, that's it, anybody still left breathing and alive in the pub has ten seconds to clear out or I won't be held responsible for my actions!" She shouted, as those remaining took notice. Not so much notice of what was said, though it was passionate and angry, but more to the point that somebody dared to stand on the bar-that just wasn't normal as the remaining bodies started to stampede out to the nearest exit.

Ellie usually wasn't one to get rattled, but even she had to admit, the sight of her ex-roomie-it was nice knowing her-standing in her shoes on Judy's bartop unnerved her to no end and she found herself beginning to flee as well.

"You! Not one more step!" Kendra ordered El, the other Ho stopping to gape at the sight. "This is your fault, you and those stupid machines…"

"Hey, don't call my slots stupid!" Ellie shouted back.

"And you…you…you …mutant, you'd better find some super glue and fix that table you sliced in half or so help me, I'll super glue those annoying claws of yours together," Kendra added, pointing a finger at Logan who growled at her, so she growled back.

"Oh, this should be fun to watch," Tara remarked, getting out of her inflatable hot tub, wrapping a towel around her as the rest of her fire crew filed out of the tub as well.

Before another word could be said, there was a whir of air as something came sailing by and suddenly, the inflatable hot tub collapsed in the blink of an eye, sending water to rush across the room. Sending Tara and her crew to fall to the floor in a massive heap of arms and legs, and ride the wave out the door.

"Damnit, to the slot machines, boys!" Ellie ordered, hoping to head off the rush of water before it could short out her beloved slots.

Logan looked at Han, Han looked at Indy, Indy looked at Haldir, and Haldir looked to thin air beside him. Finishing their drinks, all four sighed and then followed their Ho to the wall of slot machines.

"Hurry up, we might have to sandbag the area," Ellie exclaimed, pushing water away with her feet as it crept closer and closer to her games.

Turning, ignoring her former roomie, Kendra looked to the front door and found Legolas standing there shaking his head in shocked disbelief, skateboard in hand. "Whoa, dudette babe! 'Twas not me," he swore, stepping aside and there stood Commo, bow and no arrows in hand.

"YOU!" Kendra yelled, hopping off the bar, grabbing Judy's beloved bat, sloshing through the water to chase down the fallen Emperor who was trying his best to flee in a rather dignified manner as he got into his golf cart, the Water Ho still cursing and chasing him across campus.

"I think that's our cue, Puff," the Mastah suggested, taking a sleeping Cara from the Wench's arms as he carried the little one to the safety of the patio, placing her on the wicker couch, then coming in to carry his wife outside.

"Wait!" Dande shouted after being picked up, startling her husband momentarily as he did as instructed. "We can't leave the contestants' entries," she informed, waving him back to the bar to pick up the three coasters.

Qui-Gon grunted and carried the Wench back to where they had collected the participants. " I really thought more would enter," he remarked, heading back outside to the safety of the dry patio.

"Really? I thought we had more than expected considering I can't enter and there's only two Wo's…after all it is a contest for one of the grrls to be your secretary for the day," Dande remarked, looking into the huge brandy snifter with only three coasters inside.

"Oh," the Mastah muttered.

~~*~~

"Everybody, come quick!" Dor shouted excitedly to a near empty room, racing back into the pub, sliding a little in the slight flood as Hak tried to squeegee the water out the door.

"Somebody get the General…the Mastah…the fire department…no, better yet, a camera, Laure's fallen off her swing again and the train of her mourning dress is caught on the thing! She's flying around the cabaret like freakin' Peter Pan by the butt end of her dress…it is so cool!"

With that, Dor quickly retreated from the pub and back inside to watch Laure and her grand finale to Spike.

~~*~~

The pub was buzzing with activity, the lights blazing, the doors wide open, and a smattering of people inside and it was now sun up.

Hak had been mopping the floor non-stop while muttering under his breath in such a heavy accent nobody could understand-well, more than normal-and as if anybody was really listening to the beefalow.

Now, the big guy was crawling about on his knees with a blow dryer in each hand, attempting to rid the floor of any traces of the earlier, hot tub incident.

In the meantime, Logan stood in the back of the bar piecing together the mutilated table he had clawed in half, hours earlier, with superglue and gum.

Slowly, very, very slowly, so as not to cause a subtle change in the wind, Logan straightened while taking a few steps back, smiling cockily at his handy work, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Perfect," he remarked, ignoring that in the table restoration, he had managed to accidentally glue all the fingers on his left hand together. Then on his right hand, he'd glued his thumb to his palm.

"Good job," Han commented, eyeing the table then sitting the bottle of beer on the edge of it before walking back to the remaining slot machines, hoping to pry Ellie and a returned Cic from their magical draw.

"Thanks, bub," Logan smirked, quite proud of himself as in that instant the table suddenly collapsed under the weight of the beer bottle causing the mutant to growl quite lowly, and quite angrily.

~~*~~

The General, shirt tails hanging out of his jeans, long sleeves rolled up to the elbows, denim shirt unbuttoned half way down his chest, raked a forearm across his forehead, wiping the sweat away.

"Love…love…" the General interrupted, stepping up to the bar, trying to get his secretary's attention.

Finally, after a tap to her shoulder, Kendra lifted the goggles she had been wearing, placing them atop her head before flipping off the handheld buffer she was now using to polish Judy's prized bartop.

"Nice job," he stated, unrolling his sleeves while looking at the gleaming wood.

Kendra looked at the Jedi as if he'd gone mad. "No, no it's not. Judy will still be able to make out the outline of shoe prints and that water ring. She'll find the culprit and it'll lead right to me," she exclaimed, pulling out the magnifying glass and critiquing the work.

"And I don't want to die…I still have places to swim, things to do…a kilting appointment with you this evening," she reiterated, making the Jedi smile.

"It will be fine, Judy will be amazed that things are in one piece," the General insisted, glancing about the room, watching as Indy dropped his end of the slot machine onto Haldir's foot and the Elf began to screech in pain…yet another victim of the party to head to the clinic.

"I hope you're right," Kendra admitted, sounding tired and regretful. "If not, it's been nice knowing you…can I get that kilting appointment in before Judy gets back?"

Chuckling, the General's eyes lit up. "I could be persuaded…howevah, your Master's flight arrives in thirty minutes, which gives me just enough time to make it to the airport."

Kendra just groaned while Ellie shouted at her men to stop horsing around, she was on a losing streak and they were doing nothing to help her win, but distracting her.

"Don't worry, when I was a padawan, Qui-Gon did the same to me. Left me in charge and what did I do, but nearly destroy our quarters…" he confessed, lowering his voice and leaning closer. "…I had it cleaned, replaced, and things corrected before he stepped through the door. He nevah had a clue," Obi-Wan smiled in that conspiratorial smile of his. "Relax, all is well," he again insisted, before winking at the Water Ho and then heading out the door.

All Kendra could think about right then was Dande's words-'the Mastah knows everything.'

~~*~~

Ellie sighed sadly as she watched the last slot machine being rolled out. The helpers were down to two: Indy and herself. Not that she was being of much help sitting on a barstool and fumbling with the few remaining coins she had left. Most of the other helpers were injured or had escaped to go to bed.

Kendra on the other hand was all over the bar. The General would be back from the airport with Judy any moment now.

She'd buffed the bar, Haken had finished the floor, and Tara and her men had removed every trace of the hot tub.

"Ellie!"

The vet jumped, then tottered off the stool landing with a curse on her arse on the floor.

"You're supposed to be helping. Get that rag and wax and touch-up all those spots where you had your slots. You helped cause the mess, you've got to help!"

Ellie rubbed her sore backside and turned to tell her ex-roomie to lay off. But after seeing the look of crazed determination of the Ho's face, she decided it better to simply do as she said.

Kendra surveyed the scene, mentally checking everything off. The bat was back in its place behind the bar. The floor had been wiped dry. Ellie and Indy were now on hand and knee rubbing out the last remaining scuff marks. Han had finally fixed the table Logan built. The mutant almost slashed another in half when he'd gotten angry at his failure fixing the first one.

The bartop was glistening under fresh wax and the buff job she'd spent so much time on. There wasn't any trace of the footprints or the water circle.

They might just be able to pull this off.

"They're here, Dudes!" The skater Elf yelled from his lookout position. The General's car was coming up the drive.

"Hurry, everyone, positions. Look natural!" Kendra said, trying to sound calm.

The few remaining people quickly discarded their cleaning supplies and switched their attitudes to patrons. Indy led Ellie to the patio, sat her in a chair and lit her a cigarette. She was still in shock from losing all her money. She didn't even realize that being that the machines were all hers, she could just empty them and get all her money back. Indy shook his head and kissed her cheek. Well, at least she would be out of the way out here.

The archaeologist ran back into the bar and helped Haken straighten the last few chairs. Aragorn turned on the TV and everyone settled in trying not to look like they were still wearing the clothes they had on yesterday.

Darry dashed in and grabbed her husband, who was trying to take his bucket of winnings back out to the slot machines.

Kendra took her usual spot behind the bar and tried to look composed.

Everyone held their breath as the doors swung open and the General led a slightly nervous Bartender into the pub.

~~*~~

"See, still standing, just as I promised," the General stated, as he and Judy walked into the pub.

Judy breathed a slight-ever so slight sigh of relief-upon seeing the walls of her bar still standing and even a roof overhead, but that was just the beginning, she hadn't had the chance to check out everything else.

"Uh huh," she mumbled, walking inside further, Hak racing to the General's side, grabbing the luggage from the Jedi and hightailing it to drop it off outside Judy's room. The beefalow was not going to be anywhere near the bartender if things went bad. Let's face it, gladiator fights in the coliseum would be nothing compared to Judy if she found out-the implications were just too much for the big lug to fathom as he raced away.

"See, all here," Kendra remarked, trying to keep her voice even but there was a slight forced emphasis.

"Uh huh," the Master barkeep grunted, slowly maneuvering about the pub, eyeing everything critically.

Ellie, still upset over losing everything on the slots, had a cigarette in her mouth, one in hand, and was yet lighting another as she motioned for Indy to push her chair closer to the patio door so she could hear and see what was happening.

"I still can't believe I lost it all," the Ho muttered, shaking her head while Indy sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling his fedora lower, hoping to hide the look on his face. "I'll be having to move back in with Ken…noooo."

Shaking his head, Indy just let the Ho continue to moan the blues, hell, he and the boys deserved a little bit of fun at Ellie's expense with all this slot machine moving over the past few weeks.

"I see you…" Judy began but was quickly cut off.

"What? What?" Kendra asked, her voice going up an octave in panic.

Judy, ignored her padawan, after all, the Water Ho was prone to such moments from time to time. "I see you fixed the light fixture that had been broken for the last few weeks…"

"Huh?" Kendra grunted, feeling the General step behind her, his hands now resting on her shoulders hoping to calm her down since she was now fidgeting.

"You mean she's still alive?" Dor remarked, racing up to the patio doors along with Emmy and Laure. Well okay, Laure was speed walking since the world was still slightly spinning from the night before and the she was talking on the cell phone trying to find just the perfect black sandals to match her new black mini skirt set.

"Didn't expect that," Emmy agreed, noticing Judy's padawan still in one piece and breathing. "I've got to admit, the pub looks good as new."

"Yeah…bummer," Dor grunted as she and the other Ho and Wo began to elbow each other for a better position but still not be too close if and when Judy blew her top.

Walking slowly, ever so slowly beside her precious bartop, Judy suddenly stopped and leaned down to look at the highly polished wood. "Hmmm…"

Kendra jumped, the General tried to hold her in place.

Turning, Judy then looked to Aragorn and a few of the boys who were watching the big screen TV.

"Odd…" she remarked. "So tell me, what's up with that?"

"Fine, fine…I can't take it any longer! Stop torturing me like this! I give up! I confess!" Kendra shouted, flailing her arms in the air as she pushed away from the General and stepped forward.

"Shit!" Ellie exclaimed, hanging her head and finally noticing that she had way too many cigarettes to smoke at one time.

"Guilt whatevers," Emmy noted, nodding her head in recognition.

"Tough…" Dor agreed.

"No…I want them in black…B-L-A-C-K, you moron!" Laure shouted over everyone, still talking into her cell phone.

Judy raised a brow and crossed her arms over her chest-she'd obviously gotten way too good at this whole 'master' deal.

"I don't know what happened. People started piling inside, more and more and more and more. There was the hot tub, arrows, free bar, serve yourself, skateboarding, passed out miners, flood, no fires, bat, slots-tons and tons of slots, betting, cards, did I mention flood? Bar standing, water marks, threats…" Kendra blathered on and on and on as those in the bar moaned and groaned, even the General took a seat to wait it out.

Judy, didn't flinch-nobody was sure if that was a good sign or not.

"Judith…" the General quickly spoke up, standing, stepping towards the bartender.

Throwing her hand up to stop his words, Judy sighed deeply. "I was only going to mention that the Oreo cookie baskets on the tables and bar were a nice touch. And that why were the boys not watching Passions?" Then the bartender wandered straight behind the bar.

"She's going for the bat!" Emmy shouted, as she and Dor and Laure tumbled inside the pub after leaning too far forward to see the action.

"Kendra is wearing red, so the blood shouldn't show too much," Dor commented as Laure beat her cell phone against the floor.

"Shit," Ellie groaned once more banging her head against the doorframe. "I'm poor…"

"Now Judith…" the General began to calm, but instead of reaching for her bat, she poured herself a shot of whiskey and quickly downed it in one gulp.

"Good job on the clean up, padawan, you've passed the first test…" Judy commented, then left.

Kendra stood there gasping in shock, the General even looked startled, Ellie fell off her chair again and bruised the other side of her arse, Emmy and Dor groaned while Laure began stomping her cell phone with a black pumped heel.

"I am so going to pay for this whole mess…" Kendra mumbled, expecting full well this to be a ploy and that her life was still in danger.

The General scratched his head and then laughed loudly. " You probableh will in some sense…but in another, love. I don't think so," he remarked with a grin.

"Huh?"

"You seem to have passed her test with flying colors…damn if she wouldn't have made a good Jedi Mastah," he commented, then left the bar to catch up to Judy.

"Huh?" Kendra grunted once again.

~~*~~

"Well, that bites," Emmy remarked sarcastically. "Kendra didn't even get a scratch."

"I know," Dor piped in. "I was ready for bloodshed."

Emmy, Dor and Laure sat down together at a table and ordered drinks.

"Now what are we going to do for excitement today?" Laure pondered.

The three Ho's shrugged.

"Hello, dears. Lovely day isn't it?" The Wench came bounding happily into the bar. Even though she had left at a pretty late hour the night before, she still looked chipper, in a neatly pressed sundress with dandelions on it and every hair in place.

Qui-Gon sat down at an empty table looking very pleased with himself, and even slightly surprised that the pub was still standing and Kendra still alive.

Dande began shuffling a handful of what looked like coasters, most of the patrons in the bar not really paying attention to her.

"Now to announce the winner of last night's contest."

This got everyone's attention.

"What's the prize?"

"Is it a new skateboard?"

"Is it shoes?"

"Is it pancakes?"

Everyone turned around and stared at Cal. He shrieked and fell off his chair then ran out of the room.

Dande continued. "And the winner is…" She jumbled up the coasters behind her back, then pulled one out dramatically.

"Emmy!"

Emmy had only been paying half attention to what was going on, and barely looked up when she heard her name.

"Congratulations!" The Wench ran over and dragged the Dean to her feet and tried walking her over to where Qui-Gon was sitting.

"What the--" Emmy tried resisting, but the Wench was freakishly strong. "Tell me what is going on." She finally managed to get out.

"You won, silly. You get to be Qui-Gon's secretary for a day!" Dande said excitedly.

Emmy blanched.

Dande smiled.

Qui-Gon motioned for the Diva to come sit with him.

Emmy looked at Dande, then over to Qui-Gon. She fell into an empty chair and pounded a fist onto the table and screamed.

"NNOOOO!"

~fin~