Title: Diminishing Forces
Author: Nurse Darry
Rating: HIWtHI (Home Is Where the Ho Is)
Disclaimer: Can I blame George and Ridley for my whatevers? No? Okay, how about for my debt?
Timeline: A lucky escape for the city of Las Vegas

~*~

Turning night into daytime...

KABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Aladdin began smoking.

"It's not my fault." Dorotea reiterated to the policeman who calmly took notes as the room smouldered away behind them.

"Let me guess, you were trying to set your soul on fire." He didn't look up but kept writing.

"Huh?"

"Officer," said a mellifluous voice. "I'm sure you can see that this little...accident was caused by none of the people in this suit." Xani waved his hands about in front of the policeman's eyes when the man finally looked up.

"Then why was the explosion traced back to this very hotel, to this very floor, to this very room. Indeed, why was it traced back to this very closet?"

"Who traced the fire to here?" Dorotea demanded, having a sinking feeling she knew the answer.

The policeman flipped through his report. "Some free-lance volunteer fire department. Not sure where they came from."

Xani continued to furiously flutter his fingers about.

"I see," said Dorotea through clenched teeth. This was all Darry's fault. Somehow.

"But, ma'am, you have to admit, closets don't often erupt into plumes of purple smoke. It wasn't hard to track." The policeman returned to his citation-writing.

"It wasn't purple, it was lavender." At least Pelham wouldn't be impersonating a certain camp pianist for a long, long time.

"Dor, do you mind- you're just making my job harder." Xani complained.

"What do you mean?"

"You know..." Xani waggled his fingers around a bit more. It didn't seem to be working. The Bitch probably spiked that last Cuba Libre with Zima, he thought crossly of his bride.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. But you don't need that."

"What do you mean?" Xani stopped waggling and posed. The policeman seemed unimpressed.

"Watch and learn from an expert." Dor cracked her knuckles. "Hey, you know what I think would be nice?" she drawled. "How 'bout we phone room service for a nice big plate of donuts?"

The citation and pen hit for the floor.

Knock, knock, knock.

Wow, that was fast, thought Dor. She went to let in room service.

The General stood in the doorway. He looked around the room. Closet on fire, Greysider in leather posing with a leer, stunned policeman. Yup, it all looked pretty normal for Dor.

"Pack your stuff," Obi-Wan advised. "It's time to go."

~*~

I'm gonna have me some fun if it costs me my very last dime...

"You get that machine out of there, gentlemen, or you're all going to be in so much trouble!" Ellie, on hands and knees, shouted down into a huge hole underneath the Luxor.

"What the hell are you talking about, woman?" came an angry Canadian growl from below. "I didn't even dig this hole!" Logan was trying wedge out the jammed slot machine with his claws. "Why don't I just open the damn thing and give you the money?"

"Where's the fun in that? I want to WIN that money!" Ellie shouted down to him.

"This is ridiculous," Han muttered under his breath. "Even if we could get this thing out, you'll never be able to play it."

"Fuck it." Logan slashed through the metal and ten thousand quarters went spilling out of it.

"Hey!" Indy called up just from below the machine. "There's a crocodile pit down here!" He could barely be heard over the raining money.

Ellie frowned. Who would put a crocodile pit under a casino?

Then she began furiously throwing plastic Luxor cups down at the three men. "Don't' just stand there, try to catch the money with something!"

Indy's hat was full of quarters already and he watched helplessly as the rest showered down onto the basking crocodiles.

Ellie felt a tap on her shoulder. She stood and turned around. It was the General. "Time to go."

Ellie looked back down into the pit where the sounds of ringing, falling money, roaring and yelling could be heard. "Yeah, guess you're right."

~*~

All you needs a strong heart and nerves of steel...

The bubbles barely made a ripple in the pool. No one would have noticed anyway- they were all too bust going "oooh" and "ahhh".

Kendra gave Tara the "okay" after checking her tanks. They had another half hour to go before they'd need new tanks.

They had to work fast. The show would start again in 14 minutes. Quickly she set to work on another nozzle.

Had anyone been counting, there would have been three fewer jets of water in the next display.

Just then, the General, wearing his Jedi under-water breathing equipment, swam into view. Kendra looked a little guiltily at the socket wrench in her hand.

Obi-Wan grabbed at the water-proof pen and board at Tara's waist. She made him work for it.

Finally, after a lot of groping and bubbles, he scribbled a message and showed it to Tara. She squinted and shook her heard. Then she pointed at Kendra. Kendra, being the General's secretary, was much better at reading his writing.

"Finish up. We're leaving. Meet outside Caesars at midnight."

Kendra gave him a thumbs up and hurriedly went back to dismantling the Bellagio's fountains.

~*~

Just a devil with love to spare...

"I ask again, how much?" Commo rifled through his purple velvet change purse. "I will give you paper money." He handed over a hundred.

"Um, no," said Roy. The hundred had a picture of the Hamburgler on it.

"I must have that animal," Commo insisted. "Name your price!"

Siegfried and Roy stared at the whack-ed out man in his Caesar's get-up and decided to go elsewhere for daiquiris.

Commo stamped his foot. "Blast." Laure walked up behind him, Ranger in tow. "I do not understand. Some people here respect me immensely- they bow in my presence and give me this money-" he pulled some out and waved it around. Laure grabbed a stray bill.

"Er...yesssss ...."

"And others will not even listen to me when I speak to them."

"I wonder why," Aragorn muttered.

A Caesar's concierge approached the trio and handed Laure a note. She opened it.

LAURE, LOVE, WE'RE LEAVING AT MIDNIGHT. It was the General's handwriting- she'd recognise it anywhere.

Quickly she suggested, "I think we all need to retire to our rooms for a nice rest."

She'd have to think of some way of knocking out Commo. There's no way he'd leave here voluntarily. This was his new home. People (well, most people) obeyed his every whim. He'd been having the whole place renovated to resemble his palace in Rome. This wouldn't be easy.

Commo continued. "And, this palace needs new servants!" he ranted, as Laure took him by the hand and led him away. "I am going to have all the others thrown into the crocodile pit!"

~*~

How I wish that there were more than twenty-four hours in the day...

Meanwhile, upstairs in Caesars, Cic tossed another empty Hershey's syrup bottle over his shoulder, splattering everything.

The shopping buggy, now double parked outside the hotel suite sat dormant, about 100 miles having been put on it that day.

The General approached it cautiously. Caves weren't the only thing that could be strong with the Dark Side.

Without even thinking, he knocked on the door. It was answered with a loud thud, compliments of Jimmy Choo.

The General quickly jotted down a note and slipped it under the door and made a quick retreat before the cursing started.

~*~

I had a swinging time...

"You can't stay, Judith Dahling. We need to be leaving."

The General sat on a barstool at the Venetian, watching as Judy mixed a huge flaming concoction in alcohol and placed it on a tray being carried by a very scantily clad waitress.

The waitress then twirled and moved toward the thirsty crowd.

"Why?" Judy was now standing with her hands on her hips in front of the General. He wasn't looking at her. She followed his gaze.

"Hey! Over here, Kenobi!"

The General turned from the retreating waitress. "Huh?"

Judy reminded herself that he may be a Jedi, but he was also human. "I said WHY do we have to leave."

"Judith, can I trust you with a very personal piece of information?"

"Are you sure you'd rather not talk to her?" Judy motioned over her shoulder.

"This is important, Judith. My connection with the Force is growing weaker." Judy picked up the glass in front of him and sniffed it. Smelled like Bud, not Zima. "No, it's not from any substance."

"So what's causing it? And why do we have to leave? The waitresses all obey me and don't insist on eating gummy fish all day, and Mark McGuire gave me an autographed bat as a thank you after I gave him that little tip at the bookshop, if ya know what I mean..." she winked at the General.

"We can't stay here if I'm losing this connection, Judith. Don't you realise that it's been the Force that's keeping us incognito since we arrived?"

"What?"

~*~

Lady luck please let the dice stay hot...

"Honest!" Judy yelled at Emmy as the latter threw a pair of cheap-looking Candis onto the green baize table in front of them. Shelley, sitting across form her, reached down and hurled over a hiking boot.

"Call!"

Emmy laid her cards down. Three queens.

Shelly put down her two aces. "Frak."

The Diva scooped up her winnings and dumped them beside her on the floor. Judy looked down. A pile of walking shoes, tennis shoes, galoshes and flip-flops sat there.

Emmy started the next hand with an ante of one Nike.

Judy continued. "How do you think we've been able to get away with such ludicrous behaviour? He's been Force-hiding most of it."

"What ludicrous behaviour?"

Judy watched as Shelley stuck out her foot and tripped a man who was strolling through the casino. While he was dusting himself off, she surreptitiously snagged his Hushpuppies.

"As if we need to have someone keep us from being seen." Emmy grumbled, taking three more cards from the dealer.

"We're not exactly being hidden, we're just not being clearly seen. You know, kinda like in the Matrix."

"Hey," said Shelley. "What about Xan, then? Is he having the same problem...you know, with the Force?" She looked at her two new cards and tried not to smile.

"I should think so." Judy said. "Darry too, but she probably hasn't noticed."

Emmy reached down for an opening bet. "Two Easy Spirits."

"So," Judy continued. "We need to make a move or else people are going to start reporting us."

"Reporting what?" Emmy was perturbed. She was having fun.

"Us! This!" Judy motioned around. "C'mon. Look at yourselves!"

"I see you and raise you three Nine Wests." Shelley checked her hand again.

"What 'this'?" Emmy wasn't sure what Judy was talking about.

"I give up. Just be outside Caesars at midnight." Judy rose and went to find JenJen, who had last been seen heading into Paris for a Pink Banana convention.

~*~

I'm gonna keep on the run...

"C'mon Space Dog, it's time to get packed." Jael and Max finished filling their duffle bags and made their way to the exit of the Excalibur.

They found Legolas, Julia, Shana and Elrond in the lobby.

A good trick, really, to find anyone anywhere in a casino.

Shana was holding a crumpled up note. "It's from the 'bots. Apparently Kenobi dictated it to them and they faxed it here." She held it out to Max and Jael.

"I'm assuming he didn't say that 'Kim Catrell is the Second Coming'," Jael observed.

"No..." said Shana, once again crumpling it up.

"I suppose we should get over to Caesars," Julia said, idly watching as Space Dog tried to play fetch with Legolas' bow. Legolas didn't want to play. Much growling ensued.

The groups made for the door. Slowly; Space Dog was not letting go.

~*~

You'll never be the same again...

The blaring siren of the fire engine indicated that the last of the HSU party had arrived. A fleet of limousines stood outside Caesars, ready to go. Draco had decided to accompany them home, as well. It was all Xani and the General could do to keep the group from being noticed, let alone arrested.

"You are NOT taking that crocodile with you," Laure cautioned. "And leave Max alone!"

"There is NO way you had four jacks, you cheating Wo!" Emmy groused. Shelley just smiled.

"Which one of you squealed on us, you sweaty bastards," Dor advanced on the fire brigade. They didn't hear her, being too busy trying to stop Tara and Kendra from turning the hose on the General.

"You will NOT slay the dragon, you silly Elf," Shana grumbled at Elrond.

"And this one I won at the auction!" JenJen was showing the group her purchases from the convention.

"Space Dog, NO!" Judy tried to yank her new bat out of Space Dog's mouth.

"Are we there yet?" Darry whined.

The End.