"I really wish you'd stay in here and let me go down to the bus."

"No, I'm the one who wants to get away. I'll be fine." She turned to walk away but felt him grab her hand.

"I know you're hurt and angry right now and you have every right to be. But I pray that even though you said what you said, deep down you really know how much I truly love you."

Leeny stared into his eyes for a second and then turned around. Leaving him standing alone with a glass of vodka in his hand. AJ watched her until she disappeared around the corner. Closing the door behind him he flung the glass at the door and fell to his knees crying.

*On the Tour Bus*

The smell of the bus made Leeny sob. AJ's cologne seemed to seep through the walls, covers, and even her pores. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't just leave the tour the other guys were counting on her. Maybe if they found a replacement first she could leave. Hearing the bus door open she prayed it wasn’t AJ.

"Are you all right Leeny?" Howie asked sitting on the edge of the bunk.

She shrugged, "as good as can be expected."

"Then I take it you feel alone, confused, and angry."

Leeny nodded and sobbed. "Don't forget stupid, naïve, and dumb."

Howie laughed, "no we can't forget those. Look Leeny, when Claudia left me I felt the same way. It still hurts but I realized I have to move on. I don't expect you to get over it in a day or even a week. But you do need to realize you will be all right without AJ."

"I can't even look at him anymore Howie. I hate him. I'm thinking about leaving the tour."

"What? You can't."

"I just think quitting is the best thing. If I need to get on with my life then I need to get on with it away from AJ. Seeing him everyday will be like 1,000 daggers being stabbed in my heart. Especially when Amanda starts coming with us. And then they will probably get married and start their family…"

"Whoa, slow down. Who said anything about AJ and Amanda getting back together?"

"Well it's only obvious."

"Leeny, AJ doesn’t love Amanda. He loves you. Just because Amanda's having his baby doesn't mean their going to get back together. I talked to AJ before I came here. He's the one who told me to check on you. He said he'll support the baby but that is it. He doesn't want to be with Amanda at all. You're the one he wants to be with."

"I can't trust him anymore."

"I know you can't trust him now but give him time. He wants to gain your trust back."

"I honestly don't think he can. I just feel like I don't even know this man. I'm going to call my manager and tell her I'm quitting the tour as soon as you guys find a replacement."

"Eileen Carter, I have not known for very long but I'd like to think we've become very good friends. You are one of the strongest women I know and it's not like you to quit. Performing is your life. Are you going to let AJ take that from you too?"

"Well when you put it that way no."

"So are you going to stay here?"

"I guess so."

"I guess so? You belong here just as much as AJ does. Are you going to stay?"

"Yes."

"Good, now let's get back to the hotel."

"No, I can't."

"Yes you can. AJ told me to tell you to stay in your room. He's staying with me. He's probably asleep already."

"Fine, let me get my things." Leeny got her things together and walked back to the hotel with Howie.

*Howie's Hotel Room*

AJ lay on the couch staring at the ceiling. He couldn't believe he was going to be a father. How could he be so stupid? Amanda wouldn't be a very good mother. All she cared about was herself. And the poor kid wouldn't even have his father around half the time. Just a bunch of child support checks and monthly visits. How could he become the person he despised the most? How could he be turning into his father? He always swore he would be different. He swore he would always be there for his child. But the conditions are different than he expected. He couldn't marry Amanda. He hated the thought of them sharing something so beautiful together. He couldn't take the child on tour with him; it just wouldn't be fair for the poor kid to be brought up on the road with his father so busy. And bringing Amanda on the tour with them was out of the question. His thoughts drifted to Leeny. She would be such a great mother. If they had a baby together she would love it and nurture it so much. They could take her on the road with them because Leeny would take care of her while he was at shows. Then they could fall asleep with her and when she woke up both mommy and daddy would be there. Why did he have to mess up so badly? He thought about what a beautiful family they could have if only she would forgive him. Hearing the door he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Well I got her to come up. She's in your room now."

"How is she?"

"How do you think she is?"

"Do you think she will ever forgive me?"

"Only time will tell. But I know she still loves you. She may say bad things about you but it's only because she's hurt. I'm sure she'll come around."

"Thanks D." AJ drifted back to his thoughts of starting a family with Leeny and tried to think of a way to get her back.

To Chapter 53
Home Page For Heaven Sent
Main Fanfic Page