Okay, here’s how we’re going to run it!  We’re going to bring one in at a time.  And we’re auditioning for the part of Inu-Yasha.  First up?

Himura Kenshin: looking confused, with little red dog-ears on the top of his head Oro?

Yes, this is the part where you meet Kagome for the first time.  I’ll read her lines, and you respond.  All right?

Kenshin: holding paper upright I will do my best, that I will.

My name is Kagome.  Ka-go-me.

Kenshin: eyes widening Ohh, I’m so terribly sorry, Kagome-dono, for getting your name wrong, that I am.

NONONONO!  You don’t apologize!  Inu-Yasha never apologizes.  He’s mean and nasty!

Kenshin: scratching head Oro?

Never mind… Next?

Sagara Sanosuke: fishbone hanging out of the corner of his mouth, grin on his face  Oi.  So what’s up with this thing?  Looking at the piece of paper, holding it upside down

It’s your script.

Sano: throws the piece of paper aside Yeah, whatever.  So gimme a scene already.  I’m hungry.

Umm… in this scene, you’re meeting Kagome for the first time.

Sano: scratches behind the makeshift dark brown dog-ears on the top of his head So, this Kagome… is she cute?

What does that have to do anything?

Sano: Hey, you’re the one hiring actors pal, not me.

(sighs) So, in this scene you’re meeting Kagome, and you want the Shikon no Tama…

Sano: grins and spits out the fishtail That’s easy.  Oi, Kagome, gimme the Shikon no Tama or I’ll bust your head open.  clenching a fist, holding it up in front of him How’s that?

(sighs) Next?  Hey, sir didn’t you see the no … smoking… sign…

Saito Hajime: with black dog ears, no less, smoking a cigarette Don’t worry, I’m only here to make sure the Battousai doesn’t get the role in this stupid play.

It’s a movie.  A mo… err, let’s just skip to the scene, shall we?

Saito: Ahh right.  Where I meet this meaningless girl, Kagome, who I want to kill.  That I can understand all too well.  I suppose I can have respect for this Inu-Yasha character.  drops the cigarette and smothers it beneath his toe

Err… right.  So you meet Kagome for the first time…

Saito: Where I eliminate her quickly and efficiently using my gatotsu.

Umm… Inu-Yasha doesn’t have a gatot…  Err, yes.  Yes he does.

Saito: I thought so… leaves the room with a smirk

(wiping bead of sweat off of forehead) Next?

Shinomori Aoshi: looking around

No, Ken…the Battousai already left.

Aoshi: nods, then turns around to walk away

Geez, that Kenshin guy’s pretty popular around here.  Next?  Ohh, for God’s sake, there aren’t any mummies in…

Makoto Shishio: cold stare I’ve always wanted to be in a play.  dirty, raggedy white dog-ears on top of his head Now, exactly what do I do?

Umm… well, I’ll read you this line, and I respond.

Shishio: That seems so … petty.  All right.  I’ll play your little game.

Umm… okay.  In this scene, you first meet Kagome…

Yumi: Played by me, right Lord Shishio? sighs and leans on his shoulder

We’re having the auditions for Kagome later!  Now… in this scene, Kagome and Inu-Yasha meet for the first time…  umm… are you two listening to me?  Huh?  Ohh, I give up.

END