-----DISCLAIMER-----

Fan-fan-fan-fiction!
Being that I'm a fan.
Y'know? Individual that does not, in fact, own
subject of infatuation?
That's me.

-----AUTHOR'S NOTES-----

Lynda: **takes deep breath** 300 REVIIEEEEWWWSSS!!!! ;_; My gratitude! In plentiful abundance!

Kuroneko: Mya! **somehow, despite having no opposable thumbs, pops a party popper** =^>_<^=

-----*+*-----

For a totaled car, the hunk of dented mechanics was purring away merrily; the only indication that Vash the Stampede had rolled it over several dunes and down a sink hole was the occasional hiccup in the engine. And the lack of doors, bonnet, roof, windscreen and hub caps. The whole contraption was creaking and clanking dangerously, but it appeared to be holding together as they drove steadily over the iles upon iles of sand.

Meryl, one foot braced against the seat in front of her so as she wouldn't bounce right out the vehicle, reluctantly thanked the sandstorm for the salvage of the car. Had the winds not buffeted the crash, it might've been a whole lot worse. If the shifting sands hadn't created a sheltered dune, the car might've been be clogged with the fine grains.

After the cramped and bleary morning, sorting through personal belongings and the now usual morning tirade of breakfast, the four of them had made their way reluctantly back out to the car. And found that, for what the Humanoid Typhoon lacked in driving skills, he more than made up for in the mechanical repairs.
So here they were, driving into the desert as if they knew where they were going. Which, in fact, they did not.

Despite this nomadic attitude of roving, Wolfwood had insisted that they consult a map, follow it, then hopefully not roll the car down any more 5 ile high dunes. Considering that he was using all his concentration on navigating the perilous landscape and keeping the automobile in one piece while doing so, Meryl was designated helmswoman. The old, ratty, coffee stained piece of paper she was given helped little. But together, Wolfwood and she had managed to derive some sort of route from the nonsensical lines on the parchment.

Meanwhile, Vash and Milly were playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" in the back seat and creating more of a din than was by rights possible. Considering that they were betting on the outcome, Milly's shouts of glee and Vash's wails of defeat managed to rise over the churn of sand and rumble of the motor. Both individuals in the front of the car were trying in vain to ignore the constant whining of a now extremely poor Humanoid Typhoon. Both were failing miserably.
Eventually Wolfwood could take no more, and the brakes were slammed down upon. Much shouting later and seats were exchanged.

So now Milly was in the front chatting aimiably to her Guardian Angel about her extensive family tree, while Meryl sat herself within hitting range of her own Angel. He had taken the hint and shut up.

Another bump caused the small woman to apply more pressure on the seat in front of her with her foot. It was rather aggrivating that the only thing to think about was how to stay in the car due to the bumpy road, so Meryl attempted to turn her thoughts to more pressing matters.
Angels. Despite mulling over the concept daily, it still didn't make sense to her. The surrealism of the whole ordeal was enough to send what little sanity she had retained after dealing with Vash the Stampede out the window.
In the quiet hours of the morning when the blonde outlaw was away doing his own thing, and Milly was too tender with fatigue to cause much fuss, Wolfwood the "priest" suggested she write a report in order to understand it all.

Meryl had done so in the cozy confines of her mind.

... And got as far as the sentence that housed both "Vash the Stampede" and "Angel" before giving up. There were too many things that made little or no sense at all. And reports meant generating sense from ludicrous situations.
They didn't come much more ludicrous than this.

The most wanted outlaw on this near lawless planet turned out to be an annoying, whiny, idiotic and obnoxious lecher? And not only did these two themes not fit together at all, but somehow the small Insurance Investigator was supposed to insert "Guardian Angel" into the equation.
And, after all that, Meryl was having some issues coming to terms with the fact that he was her Guardian Angel.

The man in question was oddly docile beside her... Upon a careful glance out the corner of her eye, Meryl confirmed that he was most probably sulking. The near pouty face he had donned was not something you would see on a wanted poster, and the Insurance Investigator again had some problems believing that there was 60 Billion resting on the man's head.

He looked harmless.

Frowning slightly in the quandary, Meryl turned her thoughts to Angels in general. Angels should be harmless. They were, to a degree... But, strangely enough, they were dispised as much as the Demons and Vaults that were running riot.
Meryl couldn't blame the people who loathed them. Life on this planet was always a struggle. People were already pushed as far as they could go under the strain of survival; empathy, kindness and sympathy emotions for the rich and comfortable. And from out of nowhere, within a heart beat, an entire universe of beings appeared before them. Battling people, people who thought they had to make the best of what they've got because no one was there to save them, were suddenly confronted with powerful entities... That had sat back and watched the labour for survival without so much as a finger lifted in help.

Both the insurance agents had only made it out of the city by the skin of their teeth. Fortunately, not only were the pair of Guardian Angels quite heavily armed, both were quite resourceful when it came to escape routes. The ordeal was made longer by Vash refusing to leave people behind. Humans were lost... But at least 24 had been saved by a very determined Stampede.

The unwelcome escapade had been terrifying. Blackness swept the town like diabolical flames, consuming. Entire houses containing families disappeared into the dark never to be heard of again; screams cut off like a ribbon severed by scissors. It near broke their hearts to flee and not fight it.
Meryl shuddered as the memories crept closer. She pushed them away and returned to her previous train of thought.
Angels and hating thereof.

At the time none of the mortals seemed incensed that an Angel was aiding them. No, it wasn't until people were left panting on an outcrop about a quarter ile from the city that things turned nasty.

The scant congregation on the rocky hill watched as the city dissolved into blackness. Watched as fellow humans fled December; fleeing the Demons and Vaults that had massacred the hagglers. It was onto these horrified people that the Angels arrived in a flurry of feathers.

Immediately demanding the remaining mortal populace set to work fighting the legions of darkness.

Angels had the worst timing. They were either so stupid it was not all that funny, or a great deal more cold and callous than should be the case with Holy Beings.
Either way, within that moment, the opinion of all that wore wings and a halo plummeted into the ground like a dart.

Which made it extremely hard for Meryl, Milly, Wolfwood and Vash to just walk into any town. If they were careful, then the identity of both Wingers was safe. But if not, hordes of anti-Angel shippers and bounty hunters were after blood.
It was very depressing.

So, resolutely, Meryl turned her attention to the pair in front of her.

'Johnny... That's your... Big Big brother? 2nd Thompson offspring right?' Wolfwood attempted, grimacing as his memory was flailing desperately through the hundreds of names Milly was no doubt bestowing on him.

'Yes, that's right! Well, he now owns a thomas farm near Little Jersy!'

'Little Jersy, huh? That's quite some distance to travel.'

'Isn't it? He moved out 6 years ago, but Mama and Papa still keep his room next to Lisa and Kevin's rooms. Just in case.' Milly replied, the tone in her voice indicating she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

'You don't say?' Wolfwood returned. Unable to read his voice as effectively as her partner's, Meryl had to grudgingly admit he sounded genuinely interested. 'What, do you each have your own room?'

'Hmm? Oh, no! Me and Little Big Sister share a room, and Big Brother and Little Big Brother share a room also!'

'Still, that's alot of family. Just how big is your house?'

'We have plenty of rooms!' Milly declared. 'One for you if you ever come to visit!' she finished, then broke out into Happy Milly Laughter.

'Well, I might just do that!' Wolfwood replied, then began chuckling along with her. Meryl grimaced. The whole display was slightly nauseating.

'They're certainly getting comfortable.' she muttered, frowning.

'Well, what's so weird about that?' Vash replied. His sudden imput causing the small woman to jump. Upon turning, the blonde gunman was found resting his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow sitting on what used to be the door hinge. Apparently he had gotten over losing all his money.
The small Insurance Investigator focused back on the conversation.

'Milly's acting very friendly... And she's known him for such a short time!' Meryl managed in a hiss, careful to keep her voice from the two in front. Vash inclined his head slightly and the golden glare from his sunglasses disappeared. Through the tangerine, his eyes smiled at her.

'I wouldn't call 4 years that short a time.' he replied, then stretched languously against the shredded upholstery of the shambles car.

'W-Y-I-It doesn't work that way and you know it!' Meryl snapped. A simple conversation, and here she was being confronted with concepts she had no hope of making rational sense of.

'Doesn't it?' was the congenial reply. Finding words that wouldn't sound like utter drivel turned into a futile endeavor, so Meryl just huffed in aggrivation and sunk further down into her seat, folding her arms. Unfortunately, serious sulking couldn't be started, because that would mean giving up her brace against the seat in front of her... And that would work until the next bump that sent her flying out into the wilderness at who knows how many iles per hour.
So instead she just glared ahead.

Vash laughed softly beside her. Considering hitting him would only make him start whining again, the stupid little chuckle didn't sooth Meryl Stryfe's irritation.

-----*+*-----

Gathered around a table was congregation of individuals. Besides from the hovering lamp at the center of the large black piece of furniture, everything else was bathed in shadows; every occupant hidden from view. One stood and cleared their throat.

'Um... Well, I guess we should get this underway.' Rem announced. To her left was Black Jack, one leg slung over the side of his chair, the other on the benchtop. He appeared to be picking his teeth with a tooth pick.

'Yeah, whatever.' he muttered.

'Could we hurry this up?' Ange whined from her position at the other end of the table.

'Haste, I'm afraid, is rather necessary.' was Lina's immediate imput.

'Yeah, we've got two highly dangerous Wingers runnin' loose! Not to mention a plathora of evil Demons that escaped from the high security prison!!' Geli shouted as a conclusion, throwing her arms wide for effect.

'Yes, that is one of the reasons for this meeting.' Rem consoled.

'What about me?! There's a WAR goin' on against Vaults, woman!!' Heaven's General of Defense Marlin exclaimed, thumping a fist down on the table top.

'Planning to reap the rewards?' Hell's General of Defense Roderick sneered in return.

'BRING IT ON!!' Marlin shouted, trying to scramble over the table. Geli and Ange held him back.

'Fun for the whole family.' Black Jack drawled, aiming and launching his toothpick in the direction of Heaven's General.

'That's enough!' Rem interrupted. When she was confident she had their attention, she began. 'This is a horrible mess. As representatives of the After Life, Black Jack and I have called you all here to address this problem and hopefully find a cause... And a cure.'

'Hell did it.' Marlin blurted.

'Heaven.' Roderick snapped back. Rem held up a hand.

'Please, gentlemen. Post the merging of Planes, we have compiled a number of fact files. We'll review our information and construct, as a group, a lead up to this disaster.' she said simply. She shot a pointed look to her Hellish counterpart. He blinked at her, blinked at the audience, then rolled his eyes and stood.

'Ok.' he began in a disinterested voice, 'In short, though we've lost contact with every single faction of this cataclysm, we're are now well aware of the @#$%ers that caused this.' He took a breath, picked up a sheet of paper on the table, then continued. 'The leak of souls that triggered the Merger was result of a creature known as a Vault. The creator of these things is a man known as Millions Knives.' Rem winced as Black Jack finished and handed her the page, but took over none the less.

'He apparently devised a way of destroying souls all together. And implemented his new weapon.' she said softly, looking incredibly upset.

'If such a guy was in Heaven or Hell, then why didn't you stop him?!' Angels Commander Kirsten demanded.

'That's the problem, you see.' Rem replied. 'He's a Living.'

'Then how did he create something so particular to the Planes?' Lord Kardak snapped, his red eyes narrowing. Rem paled, so Black Jack continued for her.

'He was in possession of a skilled Winger.' the lime eyed man said simply, raising an eyebrow.

'Then what was an Angel doing helping create such a thing?' Marlin asked suspiciously. The Managers of the After Life shot each other a look. Rem winced.

'I think I should just explain this.' she muttered, then cleared her throat. 'The Winger in question was not so much a Winger at all. His name is Legato Bluesummers. Unfortunately, he was a resident under Black Jack's command, but a... A... Miscalculation had him turned over to the Angelinas.'

'Hey, it wasn't our fault! We train who shows up!' Geli shouted, glaring.

'Yes, we are aware of that.' Rem consoled, smiling weakly. 'Anyway, somehow graduating from the Silver Dunes, Legato Bluesummers was sent to his official Guard on Gunsmoke. This Guard was Millions Knives. Through his telepathic Angel, Knives learnt of the After Life and began devising a way to destroy it.'

'There's a more detailed briefing in front of you.' Black Jack pointed out, taking his seat again. 'When you've finished filling yourselves in, we'll begin, shall we?'

The gathering turned to the papers in front of them, and each began reading. The two Generals of Defense had little enough trouble, but the Commanders of the Armies kept shooting each other glares. The Angelinas all shared a fact file between them, and the different paces of reading seemed to irk Lina and upset Ange. Eventually though, everyone placed the papers down and stared at each other owlishly.
Rem took a breath and began again.

'The cause is rather complicated, as you can see. We had some trouble tracing the events back to the very beginning, but I think it's safe to say the cause of this disaster can be tracked back to Hell. When Legato Bluesummers was sent to the Angelinas.' she said firmly. Black Jack coughed in affront.

'Excuse me?!' he managed, grinning like a shark and standing again. 'I'll have you know it was a calculated decision! It was the worst punishment I could think of for something like him.'

'N-No, I don't doubt you!' Rem hastily amended. 'In theory, making a misled soul like Mr. Bluesummers take on such a good job like guarding life is a sound idea. But the obvious risks taken in such a scheme should not have been taken at all. If he hadn't have been sent in the first pla-'

'Pah!' BJ blurted over her, pulling out a pen and furiously scribbling out the first dot point on the fact file in front of them. Then, pocketing the pen as if he's just smugly slayed a dragon, the Manager of Hell said, 'I think the guilty party is none other than HEAVEN!' With an out thrust hand, the man pointed savagely at the page it clutched.

'Wh-What?' Rem stuttered, wide eyed. Black Jack laughed extremely loudly and, of course, arrogantly.

'It's painfully obvious that Heaven is at fault, my friends! As you can see, it wasn't sending a devil to the Angelinas that caused this heinous occurrence, it was HEAVEN'S system that allowed a killer to become an Angel!!' he declared.

'I SAID IT WASN'T US, YOU @#$%ER!!' Geli screamed.

'I DIDN'T @#$%ING SAY THAT!!' Black Jack shouted back.

'I don't see how the Angelinas are to blame. The man would've had to pass his training to become an Angel, so what where they supposed to do?' Rem said simply.

'It's not the Angelinas I'm talkin' about!' her Hellish counterpart snapped. 'It's that stupid "compatible" Guard finding system I'm talking about! Who's bright @#$%ing idea was it to have it match up compatible people?! If it had've been matching up pairs with efficiency instead of compatibility, then a telepathic homoscidal maniac would'n't have been sent to a genoscidal psychopath WHO ISN'T HUMAN!!' the black haired man shouted furiously. In his rage, Rem managed to snag the page back, pulled out a pen and genteelly crossed out the second dot-point. She cleared her voice.

'The system isn't at fault. Just ask the Angelinas.' she announced.

'That's right!' Ange piped up. 'How is an Angel supposed to do their job properly unless they're attached to their Guards?' Black Jack swore at her under his breath.

'Says here that together this Millions Knives fella and Bluesummers amounted huge troop force.' Marlin said slowly, reading off of the file in front of him.

'Which brings us to the next point.' Rem said simply. 'If Hell stuck by regulations, all freelance Demons should be under constant surveillance. How is it that so many managed to congregate without you knowing about it and investigating?'

''Snot my fault.' Black Jack muttered, most obviously sulking. Roderick raised a hand genteelly.

'I agree with Mr. Black. It is a hard task to take. Unlike Angels, Demons, by nature, are chaotic. Anyway, the timeline here states there's been years between faults.' he sniggered. Black Jack nodded frantically and snatched the page away from his adversary, wasting no time in scrawling over the third dot point.

'Which brings us to HEAVEN'S next big blunder!' he declared savagely, going so far as to point at Rem frantically.

'Yeah!' Kardak shouted, possibly getting too worked up. Ignoring him, BJ continued.

'Immediately after the first Vault was released, Heaven was issued a report from Vash the Stampede and his neighboring Winger, Nicholas D. Wolfwood. The report CLEARLY states the presence of a maverick Winger, a genocidal Plant child and the existence of the creatures called Vaults! Had we recieved this report, action would've been taken, but HEAVEN'S ridiculous authorization system kept it from us!'

'H-Hey!' Ange blurted in affront. 'Don't blame us! That was a lot of report to process!'

'I agree, plus the claims seemed quite facetious at the time. Remember, the Wingers in question who filed this report were already charged with breaking a huge amount of our laws.' Lina said simply.

'What were we supposed to do? We sent the @#$%ing thing to Marlin! And anyway, Marlin got a warning from Fate saying she predicted the world's gonna end!' Geli shouted, pointing at the chubby General of Defense. Afore mention Angel blinked.

'Er... Um... I... Well... Yeah.' he managed, grinning weakly. Everyone stared. He stared back. 'Well, what was I supposed to do?!' he finally snapped. 'I have a mountain of paper work! How am I supposed to find one little report?! And who'd believe those obsolete gods anyway?! They prank call me all the time!' More staring ensued. More silence. Then Rem shook herself and reclaimed the briefing file from Black Jack.

'Unfortunately, the system is required. If anyone could vie for our time, we'd never get to the serious cases. The Angelinas are right. It was a highly suspicious report from the start; there was nothing Heaven could've done about that.' she said simply, crossing out the dot point resolutely. She raised the paper, then raised her eyebrows. 'Well that's it for accusations. The causes are as stands.'

'Wasn't our fault.' Black Jack immediately replied.

'Well it wasn't ours.' Kirsten snapped back. Rem winced.

'Please, let's just think about this for a while.' she implored. Then breathed out. 'Fortunately, now that Black Jack and I have merged the Planes we have a chance to make this right. Even though we don't have a solution, we now have a hope of getting one. The good news is is that the growing in numbers of Vaults has down graded drastically. We don't know whether this is because people can defend themselves now, thus no deaths, or whether it is because we have placed rewards on their destruction. The bad news is, well...' she trailed off.

'Is?' Lina prompted.

'Well, I'm afraid merging Planes was a rather drastic solution. There was a chance that we would've destroyed the system all together. Luckily everything shut down as it should, but we face a huge problem. Even if we manage to over come this cataclysm... We have an entire planet that now knows the existence of Angels and Demons... And I'm afraid we have no remedy for it.' Rem said softly.

'It's... Not that big a deal... Right?' Kardak muttered, smiling hopefully.

'I'm afraid it is.' Rem apologized.

'You see, if people know there is an After Life then what's the point of Life?' Black Jack elaborated. 'They haven't a hope of comprehending the difference between the two, and Life seems a pointless part of existence ahead of what's to come. People will stop Living. Believe me, it'll be Hell.' he finished, reclining back into his chair.

There was a long silence.

'Never in all my time have I seen such a series of blunders.' Lina noted from the darkness of her corner, deathly quiet. The tone was alien along with it's harmonics and everyone froze slightly in confusion and surprise. Ange broke the akward silence when she announced hurriedly,

'Can't we just make them forget?' The spell broke. Black Jack shook his head.

'Nope. We can't mess with memories. It's impossible... And theoretically, doing so would wipe entire personalities clean. It's definately a no go.' he muttered.

'Sooo...' Lina said softly. She immediately gained full attention. 'We have a blame that cannot be pinned, and a world that cannot be corrected.' She smiled. But to call the eerie rictus a smile was like associating a guppy with a shark. What ever pulled her lips back from her teeth broadened as she added, 'What to do?'

Silence reigned.

'Well, the solution is obvious.' Kirsten suddenly said.

'Elementary, really.' Kardak agreed. Rem and Black Jack shot each other a look and straightened in surprise.

'Apocalypse.' The Commanders said in unison. Everyone in the room nodded except for a very shocked pair of Managers.

'Wh-What?!' Rem stuttered, white.

'You can't do that!' Black Jack shouted.

'Why not?' Marlin asked, blinking. 'It'll be easiest.'

'Start everything over would fix the problem super quick, wouldn't you say?' Roderick asked, hissing through his teeth.

'It's about time we had a war.' Kirsten said simply.

'We'll win.' Kardak sneered, narrowing his demonic eyes. The Angelinas remained quiet, somehow sinking back into the shadows and disappearing without the notice of anyone else present.

'We can't allow this!' Rem shouted. Once she had their attention, she continued, 'this is peoples lives we are talking about. Just because of our mistakes, you can't destroy an entire planet! It's- It's- Totally unfair!'

'Hey, I like death and destruction, but if you kill people for their mistakes, then no one will learn nothin' and the next lot will make the same blunder!' Black Jack snarled. Then shrunk slightly along with his counterpart under the stares they recieved.

'This isn't a Monarchy.' Kirsten noted coldly. Rem and Black Jack struggled for works. Heaven's General of Defense beat them to it.

'It's a Democracy.' Marlin said simply, inspecting his fingernails haughtily.

'You aren't our rulers.' Kardak added, grinning evilly. 'I'd say-'

'-You're out voted.' Roderick finished. He sniggered. Without another word, each member of the meeting sunk away into the shadows and out of the room.

Alone, it was some time before Rem and Black Jack could speak.

'So... 'Guess we're at war.' Black Jack noted, scratching the side of his nose awkwardly.

'This is horrible.' Rem sniffled, eyes welling up. The man beside her grimaced and took one step away from the impending tears. When he was at arms distance, he reached over and haltingly patted her on the shoulder.

'Don't cry.' he pleaded, sounding more like he was begging for his life.

'What would Alex say?' the tall woman lamented, raising teary eyes skyward.

'Um..."Don't Cry"?'

'Poor Vashu... If only I had've listened to him...'

'There's nothin' much we can do about it.' the lime eyed man noted, scowling.

'Surely we could appeal?' Rem blurted hopefully. Her partner blinked at her steadily, quelling her hopes instantly. 'Oh... Well... Best go prepare for the end of the world then.' she said softly, wincing her eyes shut. Black Jack glared at her.

'You're going to try and stop them, aren't you?' he asked pointedly. Rem jumped.

'N-no! W-Why would I do that?!'

Another bout of silence.

'Well, guess if I hang around any longer, they'll hang me for Fratenization with the Enemy.' Black Jack noted disdainfully. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking away. Within seconds, the blackness swallowed him up too. Very alone, Rem sniffled.

'Oh, Alex.' she whispered wetly, hanging her head.

-----*+*-----

-----AUTHOR'S NOTES-----

Lynda: **streamers and confetti everywhere** Er... 'Nother delay, 'nother dollar. Sorry 'bout that. I'm kinda obsessed with Onepiece at the moment, and it's hard reverting back to a desert planet from an ocean one.
Plus, I've been planning out the rest of the fic. IT'S CLEAR SAILIN' AHEAD!! BWA HA AH AH!! Yep! I now know where I'm going!!! HUZZAH!!

Kuroneko: Mya!!

Lynda: **grins** Anyway, that was a strange way of recapping my story, but it works! O_o;; And long!! I think... Word count... Pah, can't be bothered. Ahwell. Anyway, I shall be working on my story, renewed with the faith that I know what I'm doing, and that the end is in sight! WAHOO!!

OH! Thanks again for revieeewwwing!! 300!!! ;_; Waaaa~!!!