I just want to give a special thank you to Katsa5, Euce, Bloodraevyn, and Xara V’n’D, and even everyone else who has ever reviewed any of my stories. You guys keep me going. Without such great feedback, this story would be even more slow in coming. So, I give all of you a pixel hug ::hugs:: Thanks, guys.

BTW, this has some stuff from the manga, Trigun Maximum, where Vash’s hair was changing to black. Failed to mention previously that his hair was dyed blonde, and no longer naturally that color.

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Disclaimer: Story mine. Series, not mine.

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Somewhere in time, there is a circle.

Somewhere in time, this circle will be complete.

Somewhere in time, love is forever.

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"Tell me once more why we’re here?" I may not sunburn, but I do sweat, and Nicholai now seems to greatly enjoy watching my clothes gather the perspiration coming from my body due to the blazing heat of the double suns. It’s a bit furtive, the reasons as to why we had to come out here once again, and I have to sit down, in the dirt, with no water, watching him fire off my gun, wasting my bullets, and never hitting a single bottle. I’m almost out of ammunition... again.

"Because I want to get this right as soon as possible." Of course. Why hadn’t I thought of that? He says it as if it’s the most conspicuous thing in the world, like I should know the rationale behind his dragging my enervated ass out here. I want a nap. I’m getting cranky.

I mentally castigate myself, then, trying to clear all of the adverse thoughts out of my head that are, more than likely, brought on by the heat and possibly the fact that Nicholai’s ignoring me. I never thought I’d be invidious of my own revolver. It’s almost embarrassing.

"Heh... of course." I stare longingly into the vacuous canteen, holding it above my head. "If we don’t go back soon, we’re going to run out of something."

That unquestionably catches him off-guard. He cants his head just enough to give me a quizzical look, one eyebrow elevated. It didn’t make much sense to me, either, after I said it. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we’re either going to run out of ammunition, or the water in our bodies. I must have sweat off at least five dallons, by now."

He awards me an unpretentious smirk, then, shrugging and turning back to his shooting. His hand is not so vacillating as it was before. "I think I’ll wait ‘til we run out of bullets."

I sigh and drop my head in exasperation, then raise it once more to glower towards the back of his head. "Be serious, Nicholai. You may be having fun, but I’m the one sitting on my ass doing nothing."

Nicholai drops the gun to his side then, raking his free hand through his hair and wiping a bit of the perspiration from his brow. "Okay, okay. One more hour, and I’ll take you out to dinner."

This is getting vexatious. Instead of caring about the fact that I’m about to go out of my mind due to heat and tedium, he offers to buy me dinner, as if I would really want to go out to dinner after the little stunt he performed at lunch. "No thanks," I say, standing up and winding the strap of the water decanter around my fist. "I’m heading back."

He contiguously turns, giving me an inquisitorial look. Admittedly, I should be more honest about the fact that I’m jealous of the attentions he’s paying to my revolver, but I would just sound nonsensical. I’m hot and sweaty, tired, thirsty, worried about my brother, and jealous of my gun. What a great combination. "What do you mean, you’re heading back?"

I commence walking back towards the town, dragging my feet through the dirt with each step. "I mean, I’m going back to the bar, getting a drink, and then taking a well-deserved cold shower."

I can hear him take a few expeditious steps to catch up to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and walks abreast of me. "I’m sorry I haven’t been paying attention to you. I’ll go back, too."

Well, at least he didn’t take forever to figure out how I feel. He already realizes that I’m lonely, so I grin smugly at him, tilting my head. I think he just merited back everything that was taken away by this day. "It’s okay, Nicholai. You stay out here and finish up. I’ll meet you back at the room later." In all honesty, we’ve practically been joined at the hip since we met. I don’t think some time to ourselves could do much damage, and I’m really looking forward to that shower.

"You sure?"

"I’m sure. It’s fine."

"I won’t be too long. I promise." He leans forward, placing a light kiss on my forehead, even though it’s moist with sweat, and then moves down to my lips. I experience the taste of salt as I kiss him, but it’s still just as sweet as it’s always been. Oh, yes. He has doubtlessly earned back everything that was taken away.

I hold fast to him for a moment, noticing that the warmth he gives off can still be pleasant, even in the heat of the day. It’s a different kind of warmth, a radiance of kindness and caring that I think I could never tire of. "I’ll see you in a while," I utter, finally forcing myself to step away from him, still dragging my feet back towards the town.

It soothes me to think that Nicholai was so willing to come back, just to satiate me, to keep me happy. It was an admirable gesture, but in the end, pointless. Just like other people, I suppose I require my space, and sometimes those little things that he does can exasperate me. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’s a benevolent, caring man. I know that he means well with everything he does, but sometimes, those little things... They can be difficult to get past.

I suddenly don’t know why the hell I’m even thinking that. I never cared about the little things before, so what’s so different about Nicholai? Perhaps because I care about him so much? No. It can’t be that. I care about my brother, probably just as much, and the little things he did never bothered me. Just the big things, like him killing innocent people. That was unmistakably a big thing.

So then... perhaps it’s because Nicholai is just so virtuous. There are no big things for me to pother about. Maybe I’m simply one of those people who has to perpetually worry about others, always have something to do, some way to help people. Without having something to fret about when it comes to Nicholai, because he’s so impeccable it’s infuriating, I have to focus on some fault, just so that I can make myself presume that there is, in some small way, room for me to help him to ameliorate himself.

Sometimes I piss myself off. I hope like hell that’s not true. If it is, everyone really was correct in their assumptions that I’m nothing but a damn hypocrite.

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Shower retrieved and body refreshed, I decide to make my way outside once more, perhaps allow the children to put me in a strangle-hold. That would actually be enjoyable for me, right now. Sitting in the midst of the slightly bustling crowd of mid-day, when workers are heading back from their lunch breaks and mothers and children are doing their daily shopping, I relax against the bench nestled in the shade of a rather tall tree in the center of town. Looking around at all of the smiling faces, I notice that this city, though small and new, is quickly becoming like the others: peaceful, serene, and prosperous.

"Do you wanna play with us?"

I glance downward to see a small boy, big blue eyes and black hair, staring back up at me. With a contended smile I lean forward, crossing my arms over my knees so that I am at his height. He smiles back at me. "What are we gonna play?"

A few of the other children gather around me, one of them carrying a basketball that is obviously difficult to hold, given her small size. It’s larger than her head. "We’re gonna play b-ball!" she exclaims happily, dropping said ball from her tiny hands and onto the ground. Another child picks it up and begins dribbling it awkwardly.

"Sure, then!" I say back to them, still smiling as I stand from my seat. They begin to make their way to a makeshift basketball hoop that has been attached to the side of a building. As I move to follow, a hand is suddenly upon my shoulder and I gasp as I am shoved roughly back into my seat on the bench.

Knives leans down next to me, lips nearly grazing my flesh as he whispers into my ear. "No time for playing with brats today, Vash. We need to talk."

I stiffen at his words, wondering exactly what he could be implying and, needless to say, feeling a bit worried. The children, from their place beneath the basketball hoop, glance back at me impatiently. I laugh nervously, informing them to go ahead with their game. A few disappointed sighs are heard before they begin, ignoring me once more.

"What’s going on? Is something wrong?"

He slips into the seat next to me, one arm around the back of the bench behind my shoulders, the other dangling carelessly by his side. He stares out into the crowd for a moment, seeming to enjoy the tension he’s causing by stalling. "I guess you could say that." Said off-handedly, as if it’s not that important. Knives made the statement that he never wanted to see me again. If it was important enough for him to come and seek me out, than it must be a damn big ‘something wrong.’ I sit patiently with shifty eyes, waiting for him to speak again. "I just heard that there seems to be something wrong with plants all over the world, as of late. Seems they’re failing." He turns to me then, looking even more intense than usual, if even possible. "Seems they’re dying, Vash, and no one can figure out what’s wrong."

I take a moment to think about this, let it sink in. Plants are failing. They’re dying. The source of energy for the entire populous on this planet is failing. My own species is dying out. I reach up, my hands idly trailing through the long lengths of my blonde hair. The once black hair that has been dyed blonde. I should have known this was coming soon.

One thing that we are certain of is that when our hair turns black, we die. My hair was already changing back when I was traveling around with Meryl and Millie and Wolfwood. I thought I could cover it up, though. Change it back to the original color and forget about it. Sparing myself serious injuries would help to conserve the life I have left... and I’ve lived this long, but you can’t live forever. Knives covers his, too. He’s had so few injuries, though, he probably has some time left, but... if all of the plants that have never been injured are now failing, we’re just screwed. "How many?" I question depressedly, hands now clenched together in fists atop my thighs, still trying to comprehend.

"Hell, all of them are having trouble. The ones in Felnarl and Mei City are already out of commission. Too many failing, not enough workers."

A long moment of silence stretches between us before he finally turns to me, grasping my shoulders and nearly shaking them. "Do you know what this means, Vash!?" He looks angry.

I swallow roughly, attempting to set my gaze on anything but his intense, angered face. "It means that the world is going to be without power. And without power, the water refinement plants won’t work, which will leave them without water. And without water, they’ll all die."

It was so sudden, I didn’t know what happened. Couldn’t figure it out until I rested the palm of my hand against my burning cheek. Knives had slapped me... hard. "You’re not even considering what this means for us, you dimwit. If the plants are dying, that means we’re dying, too!"

He’s right... I hadn’t thought of that. I suppose I deserved the rather rough slap against my face. "We need to go to Felnarl. There’s a sand steamer leaving in a few minutes." Suddenly confused, I stare up at him, eyes wide as I try to blink away the tears that threaten to spill. Not just because of the emotional and physical pain I feel every time he slaps me, but because now I have to worry about the entire population of the planet. Why do these things always happen to me? I thought maybe I could be happy with Nicholai, now; live a small life and just be content. Though, sometimes it seems like the whole world is out to get me.

"Why do we need to go to Felnarl?"

"Because, you idiot! Maybe we can find out what’s happening with all of the plants."

I guess I’m not thinking too clearly right now. Too many things suddenly piled into my mind. Then, it hits me. I can’t go to Felnarl right now. I can’t just leave Nicholai behind, like that, with no way to know where I am. "You go on ahead," I say despondently, glancing towards the ground nervously. I know he won’t like it, leaving me behind, but... "I’ll catch up with you."

He snarls at me, bearing vicious teeth in my face. "Vash, what has gotten into you, lately? First you try to beat the shit out of me, then that psycho friend of yours shoots me, and now you’re telling me that you’d rather stay here with that moron than go and save your own fucking life. Stop being so brainless for once and look at your options, here."

I sigh dejectedly, nearly crying. He just doesn’t understand. Sometimes I wonder if I do, myself. Then, it suddenly hits me, and I perceive my intentions. I realize the reasons that I want to stay here. I realize the reasons that I’d give up a chance at my own life in order to spend more time with him, and not run off and leave him wondering about my safety.

I love him.

I smile to myself, nearly laughing. It’s been so obvious. It’s been right in front of me the whole damn time, and I was too blind or stupid to see it. I was too scared to look into the face of the future and realize that even if I live forever, I have no future without him and without love. It’s almost infuriating that it’s gotten away from me. It’s also laughable. Who would have thought that I was so idiotic?

"What the hell are you laughing at?"

I sober up quickly, standing and taking a few steps away from him to distance us. I know he’s not going to like what he has to hear, but he never likes anything I say, anyway. "Knives, you may not understand this, and you may not even care, but I love Nicholai and I can’t just leave him behind like that. So go to Felnarl and I promise I won’t be far behind."

I can see that I upset him, so turning around and quietly walking away is the smartest thing I can do. I shove my hands into my pockets and kick at the rocks scattered here and there on the ground, still smiling despite the seriousness of the situation. "Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?"

I glance at him over my shoulder and then turn fully around when I see the look on his face. He’s not mad, which is surprising in itself, but the look he’s giving me is so hard to discern that I’m stunned. "What do you mean?"

Then I hear his voice; shaky and uncertain, scared almost. "Why didn’t you tell me sooner that this wasn’t just some disgusting sexual game with a human?" I realize then that he is giving me a look of regret, guilt, possibly shame. Throw a little bit of sadness in there and you may be able to get the jest of what his eyes are conveying.

I quickly return to the bench and sit down beside him, the happiness of finally realizing my feelings for Nicholai depleted. "I thought you already knew that I’m not like you. I don’t see the huge rift between the plants and the humans."

"I knew that. I just never realized that someone like you would fall in love with one of them. I thought you were smarter than that."

I shake my head, nearly sighing. Yet, I can’t argue with him. It would just make things worse if I got defensive. "Maybe I am stupid after all. I mean, Nicholai will grow older and die just like all of the others, but... it really doesn’t matter now, does it?"

"It’s not that, Vash. I’d just always hoped that I would be enough to keep you happy."

"Knives, abusing me does not keep me happy. You’re my brother and all I want is your acceptance."

"You’ve always wanted to replace me with one of them."

A bit unexpected, that. I immediately straighten up, realizing for the first time that he’s jealous. My own invincible, cruel, over-protective and possessive brother is jealous. "I could never replace you!" I calm myself, lowering my voice from the previous near-shout. "Knives, you’ll always be my brother, and I’ll love you because of that, but people are capable of things other than just brotherly love. There’s romantic love and fatherly love, even love of a favorite food."

"I didn’t want a lecture."

"I know. I just want you to understand that just because I find happiness in another doesn’t mean that I’ll toss you aside, nor would I give up him for you."

He quickly stands and glares down at me a moment before turning around, fists clenched. I can tell that his teeth are gritted when he says, "Fine. You... get your things together, including that psychotic boyfriend of yours, and then meet me in Felnarl. Maybe I can get him to lift heavy boxes or something so that he’s not in my hair all the time."

I smile and quickly nod. "Okay, I’ll see you as soon as possible." He walks away then, never once glancing back, and I can’t wipe the smile off of my face. I think that for once I’ve gotten through to him and just maybe we’ve reached a new understanding. It’s wonderful, the way that just when you think it will never get any better, he does things like this, finally confessing the way that he feels, and that giant barrier he’d had up suddenly comes crumbling down around his feet. I smile to myself, standing just before he rounds the corner into a nearby alleyway. "I love you, Knives!"

His muscles visibly tense, but he doesn’t turn around. Simply stands there for a moment, staring into space. "Yeah, yeah... I love you, too." And then he’s gone and I can’s stop smiling.

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The entire room was thick with the smell of gunpowder and oil and dust. It was a small building, closeted in between others near the outskirts of the town. I went in on a whim and found what I’d been looking for. Now, one in each hand, I carry two .45 auto handguns. Black with chrome trimming added for pure decoration and pleasing appearance.

As I make my way to the area thought to be occupied by Nicholai, though, I find that he is missing. All of the bottles lie broken on the ground, obviously shot to pieces by him. I look around in confusion for a moment, totally at a loss.

That’s when I see the footprints of a thomas leading out into the sandy desert areas. I glance up into the sky, wondering why all the bad things happen to me. My answer is the loud booming sound of the sand steamer taking off from the town behind me.