So yeah.....now I'm going to gain a lot of weight over vacation because all I do is sit at the computer....but at least I'll get some work done to the site....right? Over vacation I promised one friend....that, well I'd ask another unamed friend to the Junior social.....I'm scared. The fact that I have completely lost my special touch with the guys scares me to the core. I will die an old maid I bet. I bet guys like them girly girl type....HAHAHAHAHAHA...but I'll find someone...right now I just need to worry about the Junior social. I wouldn't mind going alone, only all my friends will be with their dates. Oy Vey.
Choa!
~Marissa
December 29, 2002 8:54 p.m.
Why do I put myself through this. I battled with the idea of this email for months....it took me this long to even click the measly send button. My knees knocking, teeth chattering. If last year's Marissa met this year's Marissa....she would have belted her one right there. I used to have so much confidence....so much dignity....now, I am little and meak...and cautios. I would have never been caught cautios. Pitiful. But sometimes I wonder....was this change for the better?
The noght before last, I had fun at a youth group 'lock-in'. We played games from 8 pm until 6 am. I didn't get to sleep until 3:20 am today. I lost count of how many hours that was, but by last night....I made absolutely no sense at all when I spoke. I was complaining about people putting eggnog in my eyes at one point when I was mearly watching tv.
I must go now. I still can't think clearly...
January 26, 2003 4:42 p.m.
February 21, 2003 7:34 p.m.
I spent most of the week at my friend's grandmother's house. We were house sitting. I tell you...TEMPTATION, TEMPTATION, TEMPTATION!!!!! There was mad alcohol everywhere.....And in the master bedroom.....an entire wall was just mirrors.....I wanted to get drunk and frisky SOOOOOOOO badly. Thank God my friend Megan is good with talking me out of things. I don't do well with temptation...at all.....Megan is the oppisite. I haven't put myself in a potential party position in about a year. I never knew I can't deal with the thought of partying without doing it. I need help. I need to grow up.
February 27, 2003 7:34 p.m. I agree for piano ypu must have correct fingering....but when I have made myself comfy with my own ways on a computer for so long....and I have no objections....THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Bells gonna ring
March 5, 2003 3:12 p.m. Here are the facts:
But these facts stand against it:
And well there is so much going on, I hate to go further into this subject.
March 19, 2003 12:12 p.m.
I was so shocked I almost choked on my food. It Tied!
G suggested we flip a coin, but I would not trust a coin to lead me to the best choice of a love life.
I did it. I emailed this guy....Why Am I not more honest?! The guys name is Jeff. I told him I like him. It was frightning as can be! I couldn't breath. I was shaking....as if I were have an epileptic episode. I am still shaking. I sent the letter around 4:30 pm. It is pathetic. I get so belittled by the site of men. I get so small. I expect them to do all the chasing.
Fingers crossed
~Marissa
Happy New Year! I'm having a great one so far...
Last night, while the NYC ball was droping, I was soaking it up in a hottub. There were two other girls, two guys and myself. We would roll in the snow, and jump in the hottub, and go in the snow again, and then in the tub....over and over, the whole time only in our bathing suits. WE sipped grape juice from a fancy bottle, and gave foot rubs with ice. Everyone had this big thing about having snowball fights, while in the tub. Lets just say....Ice down my cleavage...BRRRRRR!
trying to awake
~Marissa
I am so sick and tired of stupid little teenagers and their stupid dating habits. They all think that dating is to get cuddly or frisky or whatever with some guy....and break up and just go on to the next one until their parents bug them enough to settle down. Am I the only person in my high school that sees dating at this age is a useless piece of doodoo. It's not like anyone that you date in high school you'll be with in ten years. Plus....do some even know what marriage is for. I believe marriage is to put two together a one to strengthen each other in faith....and I see some kids running around dating whomever they think is hot...and not even caring about their morals and beliefs. I believe in two people in common faith (and doctrine) mature enough, and focused enough getting married. Not two horny kids getting married so they don't look like whores in case they get pregnant. And I don't think it's a thing about romance either. I don't believe in falling in love. I know it happens....but then....people fall out of love.
Sick of it all,
~Marissa
I want a truck. My mother says if I get strait A's for two terms, she'll give me a truck. I'm not sure if I can get strait A's....but I have to. I want that truck! It's a good reason to get good grades. I sure will try this term. I already am trying so hard. I will get it. I haven't missed any homework this term except history...but the teacher is super easy. I got a C in his class....and I only did a quarter of the homework. lol.
Holding back,
~Marissa
In school. Computer Tech. I am so totally bored. For over an hour I have been typing meaningless senteces like, "Mary told Jan to meet her at school at 2:30," all just to learn how to type. Now let's face it. I've know how to type correctly since fifth grade, I choose not to because it hurt my knuckles after only 3 minutes. It's suppossed to help me type faster or something...but it slows me down sooooo much. I would rather just peck.
forced to finger,
~Marissa
A certain someone may like me, which was all brought up by a certain friend of mine who is also friends with this certain someone. At first I totoally denied all the possibilities of him, or anyone for that matter to even be slightly attracted to me. But the more I ponder about this topic, the more possibilities that are...well....possible for that matter. Okay I am rambling, but when something is on my mind this much, I cannot help but ramble.
-The one who brought up this possibility is a reliable friend, and would not lead my into a fantasy romance world for her own benifits.
-This guy is a good friend of mine and has made cute little come-on's in the past.
-He has sudden intrests in me calling him.
-Lastly, he could have confessed to this friend that he does have feelings for me.
-Any man would have to be a lunatic to date me, because of my mammoth size butt and my unpredictable mood swings.
-I am not that interested in dating him.
-We are opposites, and let's be clear with this...I at least need something in common with a significant other.
-Well let's face it, the last time I saw this guy in person, he had a girlfriend, so obviously he wasn't examining me thoroughly. He must be blind to have missed how hideous I am, relatively speaking.
Over and Out,
~Marissa
The sweetest thing just happened! It all started at lunch...I was quietly eating my salad, and listening to my friend G pour out his broken heart. My friend Sara-Rose was telling him he needed to find some rebound action. SOmeone sweet and single. He turns to me and whispers "Okay...Go out with me."
"Ummm...I am kinda waiting till after high school." I couldn't make eye contact, so I simply smirked and glanced down at my knees.
He kept tryig to persuade me....and I couldn't decide. Hoping not to hurt G's feelings, even though I think he is the coolest...I took a vote. Everyone at my table said 'yes' or 'no' and explained why.
I tried to as sweetly as possible...Leave the lunch room without shattering G's already damaged heart all over the cold tile floor. I felt so guilty. He is so incredibly sweet......and there you have it....
Feeling guilty as ever
~Marissa