Ranma 1/2 Anything Goes Battle Arena

The Setting:

   "Father, here's a letter for you that came in the mail" Kasumi said as she handed Soun his delivery.

    "Thank you, Kasumi." Soun read the front of the letter, and was surprised by what he saw. "It's from the Principal of Fuurinkan High... Nabiki, what did you do this time?"

    "Moi? Surely you jest father. Perhaps you should ask Akane about this." Nabiki replied to her father, then thought to herself, "Do you really believe that the principal would dare to discipline me with all of the blackmail material I have on him?"

    Soun opened his parcel, and after reading the message he was even more surprised, "It's a letter of challenge from the Principal! An armed combat duel!" The Tendo father suddenly became serious, "As a disciple of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts I cannot refuse a challenge. I have one week to prepare."

    Genma-panda, who had been sitting at the table sipping his tea, poured a convinent kettle of hot water on himself, then walked over to his friend, "It's been a while since you've had to fight, Tendo. I think it's time we did a little training."

    One week later, at the appointed time, Soun walked into the Fuurinkan High School principal's office carrying a well crafted quarterstaff. The office was a very large room with a sand floor and several palm trees, and a wooden walkway leading from the door to a raised bamboo structure, which held the principal's desk. The Tendo father walked over to the desk, and bowed to the Principal.

    "Aloha! You're Soun Tendo, ya?" The Prinicpal asked.

    "Yes, that is correct." Soun replied, "Before we duel, I'd like to know why you challenged me."

    The Principal looked through a few files on his desk, then frowned as he saw one in particular, "You see this one here, Akane Tendo? She's been a very bad one. She won't follow da rules and get a bowl cut. She must have a bad influence at home, ya?"

    "I protest! I've given my daughter nothing but kindness and the best of examples to follow!" Soun shouted.

    "Perhaps you forget to give her discipline? Since she won't let me give her da bowl cut, if I defeat you in the duel, I get to give you da buzz cut, ya?" The Principal smiled with his pearly whites, which gave off a sparkle.

    "And if I defeat you, you will leave my daughter alone!" Soun said. He imagined himself with a buzz cut, and the humiliation he would face at the hands of Genma for losing his full head of hair.

    "Good, good." The Principal pulled out his shears, and jumped off of the bamboo platform and onto the sand. "Now we fight, ya? Don't keep the big kahuna waiting." The prinicpal imagined an Akane crushed by the defeat of her father by the principal, submitting to ALL of the new rules.

    Soun jumped onto the sand and readied his staff, "Very well, I will fight you for Akane's sake!"

Commentary:

Sailor Love

Soun has got to win!! The Principle is a freaky-rules yutz! And I don't want Akane to lose her righteous hair-cut, or Soun for that matter! And did I mention that the Principle is a freaky-rules yutz and complete lunatic?!!

Alex Small

The Principal will prevail because Soun, however well trained he is, is way out of practice. Soun is somewhat cowardly, as witnessed by his grovelling to Happosai, and never really fights anyone. The Principal is always fighting with the students at school, and is full of dirty tricks. Also, the Principal is in his environment, and playing by his rules, so Soun won't be expecting the Principal's foul play until too late.

Areon

From everytime we've seen Soun fight he always loses very easily . And the principal hass to deal with ranma and his friends every day so he's got endurance. Also he'd go straight for the hair.

Justicar

I have choosen Soun because he is a more of a skilled fighter, simple as that. The Principal looks pretty built, but I don't see him as a combatant. He could probably defeat an ordinary guy, but not a true fighter. I see the actual fight ending quick. The Principal is militant but he isn't stupid, he would know that he is outclassed.

Sizer

Soun is the heir to one of the most lethal schools of fighting in the world. The principal is a stuck-up Yakuza wannabe. Case closed.

The Fight:

     A short pause ensued, during which both combattants sized each other up. Soun, looking at the principal's shears, wondered to himself, "Why did he chose weapons like that for a duel? He must not be taking this seriously. He is either very skilled or very stupid."

    "Let's get dis show on da road." The Principal said, "But before we do..." He placed a pineapple in Soun's hands, and backed away, "Have a nice Hawaiian..."

    Soun looked at the pinapple in his hands. He tought, "He really isn't taking this seriously. What good is giving gifts before a battle? I really don't..." His thought was interrupted when the pineapple exploded, leaving Soun standing in a small crater and looking quite singed.

    "That... really was a dirty trick." Soun said, shaking off the effects of the bomb. "If that's the way this duel is going to be, I won't have any part of it!"

    "Oh, come on now. I was only trying to make the duel more fun! Lighen up..." The principal said with a smile.

    "Enough talk. Let's get this over with." Soun leapt out of the crater and swung his staff at his adversary. The principal barely ducked the strike, and jumped back.

    "And here's the pitch!" The principal did his best impersonation of an American baseball announcer as he threw a coconut at Soun. Soun hit the coconut away, and watched it explode in the air.

    "Hah, it's a home run!" Soun said proudly. The principal took advantage of the distraction and lunged at his opponent, shears in hand. Soun, with his martial artist's reflexes, saw the attack coming and dodged to the side. His hair, however, was not as nimble and the principal was able to shave off part of the end of his long hair.

    Soun examined his hair, and became distressed, "What is this, A duel or a trip to the barber shop?" Soun jabbed his staff at the principal, who jumped to the side, then jabbed again. The principal moved out of the way, but just barely. Soun jabbed again, very quickly, sure that this blow would connect. The principal reacted by attacking the staff with his shears. Soun was very surprised that he never felt his blow connect.

    "Take a look at da staff! Cowabunga!" The principal did a dance of joy as Soun looked at his staff. It had been shredded by the principal's shears and was now completely useless.

    Soun dropped his staff, and clenched his fists. "Your fighting style is a mockery of true martial arts. For Akane, I will put an end to this dictatorship of an administration."

    "Akane... she will look very good with da bowl cut, ya?" The principal attacked with his shears, aiming for Soun's head. Soun sidestepped and grabbed his opponent's arm, and threw him into a nearby palm tree. The principal hit face first, then fell to the ground at the base of the tree. Several coconuts fell down on top of his head, and soon afterwards, exploded.

    Soun walked over to the very large crater caused by the bombs and said to the principal, "Do you give up?"

    The principal was in great pain, and barely managed to say, "Yes... you win! You win!"

    Soun walked away, confident that the principal would keep his word and leave Akane alone forever, and proud that he, the master of the Tendou Dojo, still had his fighting touch.

    Hours later, the principal sat in his office covered in bandages, "Soun Tendou. I'll make sure that Akane gets da bowl cut, and that you get da buzz cut. You haven't heard da last of me! HA HA HA HA!"

Voting Results:

Soun Tendou: 10

Principal Kunou: 3

I apologize for the fact that it took me two weeks to get this fight finished, but I had a little trouble with my hard drive. I thank those who voted, and encourage you to fill out the new suggestion box. Thanks.