Kissing You
by Moerae
Kissing You
Written by Moerae
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Pride can stand, a thousand trials,
Hiei solemnly stood on one of thicker branches outside Genkai's temple. His crimson eyes silently followed Yukina's every small movement, protecting her from harm without her knowledge. He would not fail to protect at least the one person who was left to him. He would not.... Never will he go through such pain again. One grief was enough for his fragile heart that had once learned to love, only to be broken into tiny pieces.... But he would never admit such weakness in front of others. None except him... could possibly understand, not even his beloved twin would be able to understand his pain. He would continue to keep the mask of disdain, to stay off all offers of help. His walls of pride to show such vulnerability in front of others were just too high to overcome even by him, especially now that he had learned how painful one single mistake can be.
The strong will never fall
No one would ever doubt the fact that Hiei was one of most powerful youkai in Makai. He was heir of Mukuro, one of three rulers of Makai. He had mastered Kokuryuha, that infamous black dragon which refused to be mastered in millenia. But what others didn't know was that his heart was as fragile as glass and that deep inside there lived an innocent child who hid behind that mask of indifference and coldness. Only one, one person in his entire life has ever bothered to find what's behind that skillfully forged mask. And that person has left Hiei alone in his bottomless pit of Loneliness, never to be recovered again. But Hiei would go on, until his Loneliness would bring end to his short yet painful life.
But watching stars without you,
my soul cried.
But until then, Hiei would have to live with that constant pain in his heart. Loneliness would be his only companion now that Kurama was gone from his life. It seemed so long ago that he was once loved, but they were only memories. Those heartbreakingly beautiful memories became sharp glass shards that pierced his battered heart and it only served as remainder that he still lived. If love was this painful then why did people fall in love? 'Because people need something to hold onto, something or someone that would give them a reason to go on. That they are not alone.' Hiei vaguely remembered Kurama once saying that to him, on one deep night when the world slept peacefully, feeling content just lying there in each other's arms. It was a night like this where stars shone brightly among Darkness, lending this cold world some of their light. But Kurama wasn't here with him anymore and now he was left alone....
Heaving heart is full of pain,
Oh, oh, the aching.
Every breath he took only reminded him of his aching, unquenchable need for his beautiful lover. His heart fragile ice heart would crack a little more everytime he recalled a too brief memory of those short periods of time he had shared with his fox. They were so brief, yet why did they hurt so much? Not even memories of his lonely and painful childhood as a Forbidden Child could make his heart ache like that. Those memories lasted only a short time like a passing shooting star, but they remained just as bright and unforgettable in his heart.
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you.
Hiei brought his small hands to his lips. Even now, he could still feel Kurama's soft velvet lips caressing his own. If he closed his eyes, he was sure he could feel Kurama's presence beside him like all those lonely years in between were nothing but a nightmare. But that would be fooling himself, believing in some fantasy that would never come true. When he awakes from such dreams, reality would crash down on him heavier than before, and he wasn't sure anymore how long he can possibly endure such suffering. It would be better if he forget but he could not....
Touch me deep, pure, and true,
gift to me forever
Hiei could still remember, despite his effort to bury all memories of Kurama in oblivion, that Kurama's touch was as soft and gentle as the rose petals he so adored. Roses that Kurama always claimed that they were so much like him. But whenever his eyes gazed at those crimson petals of roses, it was not his own form that looked back at him, but Kurama's beautiful human form that had touched deepest part of his Koorime heart. And whenever he gazed at the silver moon that hung like a precious jewel among dark blanket of night, he would think of Youko Kurama's shimmering silver hair and how soft it felt in his hand. Every little thing in this world would remind him of Kurama in some way and all of them seemed to accuse him of his failure to protect one of the two people whom he would sell his own soul to save. Kurama had given him something that was more precious than all three worlds combined, his love, but in return he has stolen Hiei's heart, soul, everything that once belonged to him. And Kurama had never let go of them even in his death.... Thus Hiei would forever remain incomplete without him.
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you.
Hiei could vaguely see the small, delicate figure of Yukina turning off the bright yellow light of Genkai's temple through his tear-filled eyes. It seemed to say that he no longer had any place to return to. Once he had a person who would welcome him no matter how late it was, but now there is no place where he could turn to, to rest his tired body and mind. That thought alone was enough to make Hiei shed another tear. Immediately if formed a small, dark teargem. That teargem would be worth millions to others, but to him, they were nothing but worthless rock. Nothing compared to what he has lost. He roughly pushed himself up from the branch, angry that he still had emotion to speak of.
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Without a sound, pure white flakes of snow began to cover the land. White snow will cover the land and maybe it would also be able to take away the pain of those who lived. "Kurama, where are you? When can I find you again?" Hiei whispered into darkness, his words lost in fathomless night. But there was one who heard every word. One who would never leave him even if Hiei wouldn't be able to realize it.
'Cause I'm kissing you.
I'm kissing you, oh.
Kurama tightly wrapped his slender, transparent arms around the small, pale figure in vain hope that Hiei would realize and brought his cold lips to Hiei's. "Hiei.... I'm here. I'll always be with you. You never lost me.... We're one... and you'll never lose me. Never...."
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