( Lights, Camera,  Life!)

ENTRANCES AND  EXITS  @  more-than-just  A CHAT ROOM.
By : Maverick

There is, I find, something exhilarating about walking into a room full of strangers.

Whether it be the start of first semester in university, day one in a foreign city, or orientation at a new job, I find that the few moments when I settle into my space and  survey the surroundings are precious moments when I am most myself.  Among strangers,  there is no past to pattern  responses to; no expectations as yet to measure demeanor by. We are to each other,  fresh and new and therefore open and ready. There are  no attachments, just individuals at the brink of an empty page.

This was what beckoned to me at the prospect of joining a spiritual study group. I was also going through a passage in my life and met - or rather - attracted a book which challenged me to re-invent myself.  It was not exactly the easiest read.  I wanted to know how other people were affected by this book. which lifted the mist that had clouded my heart’s vision for far too long.

Several months into the discussion group,  I found myself attending regularly and feeling a real loss when unable to. The strangers began to assume real and complex personalities - some receptive, others effusive, some abrasive and others still, silent but solidly there. What started as a discussion group became a weekly ritual which brought me in touch with a deep and serene part of me. This part of me connected with other such parts of the study group members and for two hours each week, what mattered most was just being there and “touching auras”, whether in the shared words or the sacred silence.

The discussions were sometimes lively, other times stifled, sometimes fluid, other times heated. People came and went – appearing providentially and after finding what they needed at that moment –  moved on, never to be heard of again, yet leaving behind the gift of their personal discovery. There were little miracles – a lot more than just “lightbulb” moments.  So vivid were some that no one was left dry-eyed in the group. At one particularly touching sharing, I simultaneously felt a cool tingling up my spine and a warm enveloping embrace around my shoulder. It was a gentle group hug with God!   Others were less dramatic but very real personal transformations, nonetheless.  Each was a spiritual experience and all those present were moved and somehow changed.

As seasons and holidays passed, the duration of the discussions grew longer. There would be lingering farewells after the sessions and more discussions over meals, cups of coffee, drinks and later, on e-mail.

Simultaneous to the original group, other smaller groups formed, evolving into coaching groups, support groups and affinity groups – and into deep friendships and beyond.  All these on waves of spontaneous flowing movements. One large wave propelled some to organize into a foundation to provide the space for many others to experience what we had, coming full circle and starting yet again, more circles … of discussion groups.

WHAT moves a person(s) to even start a study group?

After all when one puts out the invitation to join a study group,  he may be setting himself up for rejection ;  not unlike preparing to  host a fun dinner party for 20, only to end up with a rather tame  circle of 3 or 5.  Why even bother?  Very often, it is a deep desire to share a new discovery.

Emilie, a convent-bred young entrepreneur,  was struck by a book  and felt compelled to discuss it with others who felt the same way. (No she was not struck by a book falling off the shelf, although that is entirely possible because Emily likes to browse around in bookstores).  Family and friends did not share her enthusiasm so she sought others in that amazing labyrinth of information and connections – the internet.  Here she met Yvette, a travel organizer, who was just as energized by the same book.  At first, it was only Emilie and Yvette. Later,  Aurora  joined. Surprisingly self-assured for her age , she was ready for new ideas and had a lot of time on her hands, not having a regular job at the time. Others gradually joined and stayed until a definite group was born.  New members would come and go but the core group remains  - ready and open to others moved by the desire to talk about new spiritual discoveries.

If Emilie felt compelled to seek others out to share with, Edward on the other hand, needed  to be pushed into completing a series of volumes.  Perennially busy with   professional  and controversial pursuits in publications and media among others, what better way to stay committed than to begin a study group. The discipline of regular meetings and the inputs of others in the group would gently force him to completely study a book which presented ideas so radical yet comforting and liberating. That study group not only helped Edward finish the book, it also took on a life of its own and like a gurgling brook, cascaded bumpily and merrily along wetting many peoples’ toes. This brook runs along still, allowing others to jump in and flow serenely or splash away.

WHO answers the invitations for study groups?

Like Aurora above, it is usually people who have some time to spare; or people who are curious. They want to know what it is that drives others to meet weekly and discuss.  Some join because they are going through a life passage – a difficult time in their lives – lost jobs, broken relationships, bankrupt businesses. Others still are looking for a place to speak and simply be heard.  And a few are trying to fill a vague emptiness in their otherwise smoothly-moving lives.

Orlando joined for many of these reasons. Having just lost a loved-one and not being able to openly grieve, he was in need of a venue to  air his feelings. He was also going through financial difficulty and had a lot of time in his hands. Like Emilie, his family and friends were not receptive to discussions about his new   discoveries from the book.  Norman , artistic and unconventional, was regarded by his friends as “coming from a different wavelength” than the average person. He joined to voice out where he was coming from and was pleased to learn that in his study group at least,  he was not that different after all. Better yet, difference  was allowed and embraced.   Hannah Lou, articulate and well-read,  was a veteran of study groups.  Years of  reading books and studying them with other groups brought her to the verge of shunning study groups altogether not because they were not any good but because she felt it was now time for her to start practicing  and doing what she has been learning. Still she was comfortable cocooned in the spontaneous waves of acceptance and compassion she felt from this new study group.

By accident – or more likely – by grand design, Grace was at the precise place at the exact time.  While hanging around in the place where the group meets, she was invited by a member to sit in.  Going through a deep depression at the time, Grace silently observed the group, where only first names mattered. No one asked what others  did for a living or where they lived or who they knew ; only  what they felt like sharing or what brought them there. And she felt heartened somehow at a time when she was ready to give up on life. A need was answered for her at that precise time and place.

WHY make a study group part of  an already filled up calendar?

Abbey is a homemaker who lives a contented family life while also dispensing counsel to others in need of guidance. She was  initially reluctant to join a group where she knew no one. Once in, she was drawn to it, becoming aware of other people’s beliefs and experiences and appreciating each person’s diversity and uniqueness. Her new friendships were forged on a higher spiritual level.  Enriched by the experience, Abbey made the commitment to find time for this weekly communion with others – a commitment she has kept for the last 5 years.

Aurora, who joined when she had only a part time job now has two full  time  occupations. She consistently makes  time for the group because of  sentimental reasons and because of the synergy created within the group. It continues to inspire her.

The weekly practice fills a void in Orlando’s life and nurtures his spirit with the joy of sharing. Undeterred by the distance, he looks forward to the weekly meetings.
Emilie realized that the group and their weekly sharings has become a part of her life and “a given”.  Her job and many other activities are mindfully scheduled so as not to conflict with this ritual.

Edward has, long ago, left the group as did others who moved on to other pursuits. But invariably, each went with the  gift of a new discovery to take with them.

WHICH valuable treasure do we carry with us?

Unexpected gems of  new personal learnings come at the  quietest of moments. Orlando rediscovered  his worthiness.  In a society which usually values agreement or the same point of view,   the acceptance and openness of Emilie’s study group showed her that it is possible and healthy to voice out one’s views while allowing another’s dissenting opinion. Hannah Lou began gently attending  to the circle closest to her  -  honoring herself.   Abbey realized that she, like every other being, is “God’s magnificent creation. Each one goes through life day by day, being and meeting that magnificent creation in all its splendor and glory - or all its warts and wounds.  And we can always choose to love and accept the whole of ourselves and the whole of the other.”

WHEN is it time to move beyond discussions into the realm of practice?

Sitting here in the gentle stillness of Good Friday in the metropolis, I thoughtfully ponder over that question.

 A big portion of the population is in churches taking part in solemn religious traditions. An equal portion fills the beach resorts clutching at the only real family time they can spend. A fortunate few are enjoying the luxury of time alone in nature or at a meaningful retreat. Perhaps many of them are doing one thing while wondering over that which they may be missing. Others are fully engaged in their activities. ALL of them are making choices.

So then every choice I make is indeed an opportunity to practice what I have read and discussed. I am actually practicing every single day!

 I am dumbfounded at the simplicity of the answer.  My doubtful and critical self sits in judgment “That can’t be. It is way too simple; too easy. To gain a valuable insight, one has to have a hard time.  There ought to be complications here, a heart break there, a degree of pain and certainly some suffering!”  The discussion group is now taking place in my mind.  My newly found serene self smiles benevolently, “You can choose that too, if that is what makes you happy.” The critical part is annoyed. “Don’t give me permission. That defeats the purpose of suffering in guilt.  I am familiar with guilt. I grew up with a lot of that!”

I am amused  at the internal dialogue.  The creative me is visualizing a stage set, colorful protagonists and witty repartee.  The rational me is fearfully  picturing  confinement in an insane asylum.

My newly recreated self speaks again addressing my fear. And I feel   my whole being relax.   “That’s perfectly alright. You are learning to recognize your many sides. You are learning to choose differently. You are aware of the choices that did not work for you in the past. Haven’t you noticed how you are almost always given another chance - same backdrop, similar plot, slightly different characters, new script.
Now ,  choose again. Which lines will you speak? Which moves will you make?”

 My smile returns as does the question.  When is it time to move beyond discussions and into the realm of practice?  I think I have my answer. Or maybe I don’t.  Right now, it does not matter to me to have the answer.  And there the struggle ends.   For now I know that wherever it is I AM  in my life ...  is exactly where I need to BE.

Where I am standing marks my spot. I’ve finally got my “blocking” right!    I’m ready.         Lights, camera …    Life!

What is the purpose of the  Study Group?
The purpose of the Study Group is to discuss how to apply spiritual principles to everyday life. Sometimes there is a need to clarify our understanding of the concepts themselves, but we are more concerned with practical application rather than theoretical discussions.

The Study Group is an opportunity to share one’s experiences and listen to others.  It is not a therapy session and the goal is not to “fix” others or solve their problems, merely to listen to them with acceptance and love.

When and how often is it held?
We have held the study group meetings on a weekly basis. The Makati group meets every Fri from 6-8pm. The Ortigas group meets every Tue from 7.30-9.30pm.

Where are the Study Group meetings held?
The Makati group holds their meetings at Powerbooks, at the G/F cafe area. The Ortigas group meets at Valle Verde Country Club at the Garden Cafe (near the Lanai).

What is being discussed?
The Makati group is currently discussing the book A Course in Miracles.
The Ortigas group is currently discussing the book Love without Conditions by Paul Ferrini.

Who can attend the Study Group? Are non-CWG readers allowed?
In the spirit of openness, the Study Group is open to everyone. Some attendees have not finished nor read CWG or the books currently being discussed (such as ACIM and Ferrini) but have read other spiritual books, which contain essentially the same message. The only requirement is to have an open mind with regards to spirituality.

Is one required to attend all weekly sessions?
Nothing is required. While it is best for us to spend enough time looking after our spirituality, it is our choice as to how to go about doing so. Many of us have found it of value to be constantly reminded of the spiritual principles through weekly meetings, since we tend to forget more easily on our own.

What are the agreements with regards to the Study Group?
First, that everything discussed in the Study Group that are personal in nature should be kept confidential, unless the permission of the person is sought. This is to encourage people to share what is truly in their hearts. Otherwise, people will fear sharing and discussion will remain on the surface.

Second, that we shall be open-minded and treat each person with respect and acceptance, regardless of his personal views. We realize there is no “right” or “wrong” but only what will benefit each one in his own path. We should practice being non-judgemental. We shall not force anyone to speak or answer a specific question if it is not their desire to do so. People are welcome to attend and just listen if they do not desire to speak.

Third, that we shall not attempt to monopolize the discussion and give others the chance to share. We realize that no one is more superior than another and everyone is equal in terms of wisdom. We are not here to impose our views, merely to express them, and to listen to and accept others’.

Can I set up my own Study Group?
Yes! Based on your desired location, HVF can assist you by giving you contact numbers of other people in your area who are in the HVF database. HVF can also post your desire to set up a Study Group in its newsletter, webpage, and announce it at events and other Study Groups. Representatives from HVF may attend the first or first few meetings of your Study Group to provide support.