What men shouldn't say after sex:

1. "I was kidding about being sterile, you know."
2. "Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?"
3. "How come it's so BIG in there?"
4. "You've done this with a lot of guys before - right?"
5. "Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear, okay?"
6. (Sniff, sniff) "Is that cat food?"
7. (Yelling) "Okay guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!"
8. "You're great in bed, but your sister gives better blow jobs!"
9. "My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better."
10. "Do you know what a 'douche' is?"
11. "Maybe if you did some push-ups, your boobs would grow?"
12. "I want you to try some of MY deodorant."
13. "I'm not into relationships. Can't we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?"
14. "Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!"
15. "I never saw a girl with hairy tits before!"
16. "I've been getting these little blisters lately..."
17. "You wanna do those dishes before you leave?"
18. "You should go wash that, the cabby will think something died in there!"