My name is Anne, I am 34 and so is DH. We went through infertility (including a miscarriage) for 2 years before we got pregnant. We were absolutely thrilled when the meds I was on finally worked and we found out we were expecting.
I had a great pregnancy - felt great up until the end. Sean was born after several days of prodromal or pre-labor, all back labor (he was posterior). When I finally went into real labor, I did fine until pushing when my uterus gave out. After pitocin didn't start up the contractions, I had to have a C-section.
After Sean was born I was incredibly depressed over the C-section and felt horrible. Sean seemed like a normal newborn other than having incredible head control. After about three months, though, I began to wonder what Sean's deal was. I could never put him down - he would just cry! He would only sleep on top of us, he couldn't even lie next to us..and that really slowed down the recovery from my Csection. I was still depressed and crying a lot because I was so drained taking care of him and not feeling good physically. Sean never wanted to be in the bouncy chair, swing, etc. He always wanted to be held, and still does pretty much.
Until he was four months old, we thought he was a normal baby. Everyone says having a new baby is demanding, right? We went to visit my sister and her 8 week old and were stunned. Her baby would just stare off into space, or stare at a toy, and she could do incredible things (like bake cookies, mop the floor, etc). It was then that the High Needs term (which I had heard of from dr Sears' book) hit me.
Things have been improving little by little since he can sit up now and do more. When he could only just lie there and I would have to be in his face with toys literally all day, was really the hardest thing I have ever been through.
Not to say it's easy now but I think it's easier - at least he can smile and play a bit on on his own, etc. Also I think I have finally started to accept Sean for who he is - he has a strong and fiery personality, and he loves to laugh, and he hates being bored. He can't help it if he just gets so wound up and can't relax. I think he is a great baby if people can just be more open minded about what a good baby is. People only say "what a good baby" to the LN easy baby. But I think HN babies are good babies, too.
Before we got pregnant with Sean, I spent all my energy stressing and obsessing over infertility - would we get pregnant this month? What if we never do? etc. Lately I have realized that now I obsess over Sean and his HN. And I am so happy to have a child to obsess over - I feel we are really blessed. That seems to put it in perspective for me, though I still have lots of days where I worry and get depressed. But this board has been a god send for me. Thanks!