I am a 26-year-old SAHM. I married my husband in June 1999, and we immediately started talking about having a baby. I got pregnant in December 1999, (on my husband's birthday!) after 4 months of “real” trying. My pregnancy was a breeze! I never had one day of morning sickness and the absolute worst thing to happen to me was one day of high blood pressure. My daughter was a pleasant baby to carry…she never kicked too hard or demanded that I lay on one side or the other like my sister’s babies did. I told people that if a baby’s behavior in the womb was any indication of how he or she was going to be once they were born then I was going to have it made! I spoke a little too soon….
My official due date was September 3, 2000, but like an idiot I moved it to August 27 after my first ultrasound said that’s what it should be. My doctor continued to go by the September date so when my August date rolled around and I still had not one single contraction he reminded me that I was still another 2 weeks away from an induction because of his due date. On the evening of September 3, my water broke. I went to the hospital where they told me it was not my water and was sent home. As soon as my foot hit our front porch, I got a huge gush so we turned around and went right back to the hospital. When we got there I was already a good 3 centimeters dilated and 100% effaced. My labor progressed very quickly…I went from 3 to 10 in less then 4 ˝ hours. My only glitch was the BOTH of the epidurals they gave me didn’t take…some kind of fluke that my doctor assured me will probably not happen again. I pushed for 2 ˝ hours before my doctor decided to try the vacuum (which didn’t work) and then the forceps. My beautiful baby girl was born at 6:26 a.m. on September 4, 2000….Labor Day! :) She weighed 7 lbs. 13.5 oz. and was in perfect health.
Right from the start she showed the signs of being a HN baby – but of course I didn’t know that then. She held her head on her own from the beginning – never had the wobbly newborn neck. We even have a picture of me holding her on my chest with her head held straight up and her finger pointed at me…kind of like she’s saying “I’ll show you who’s boss here!” I had decided from the beginning that I was going to co-sleep with my DD since my sister had slept with her DS and loved it. A lot of the nurses gave me a hard time about it but the lactation consultant and one wonderful nurse praised my decision. I didn’t realize until later that making that decision had probably saved me a lot of sleepless nights and crying fits! She slept through the night the first day we had her home only stirring to nurse. I held her constantly…I couldn’t seem to put this angel down. I would give her to my DH who would hold her until I was done showering or tending to my needs and then would take her back from him. It wasn’t until he had to go back to work the next week that I realized what I was in for. I tried to put her in her bassinet to shower and wasn’t in the bathroom all of 2 minutes before I heard her screaming. I didn’t get it… I’d put her down sleeping. Weren’t babies suppose to stay asleep?! Ha! :) So, I got into the routine of showering only when my husband got home from work…and not eating anything real until then either.
It was when she was about 2 months old that she decided that no one other then me could hold her. That was when things got really hard. I couldn’t have my husband hold her while I showered or used the bathroom. I had to figure something out. So, the race was on as to what worked that day. I’d think I had her figured out when she’d change the rules. One day she may nap fine in her swing…the next she’d demand that I lay with her all day long. The only thing that was a constant with her was nursing. A nursing session cures any of her woes!
My daughter doesn’t allow anyone other then me hold her. She started letting her Daddy hold her about a month ago but even he can’t handle her when she’s tired or hungry (she refuses to take a bottle). She hates new places and new faces. Even my parents and my in-laws aren’t able to hold her for more then 30 seconds before she starts screaming for me. Taking trips anywhere is a nightmare because of how much she hates her car seat. The very expensive stroller my mother bought me for my shower has been used maybe 3 times…she refuses to ride in it. Wal-Mart is another HUGE nightmare!! She screams and screams until I take her out of her carrier and then she’s perfect. Thank God my mother bought me a Bjorn carrier – now we can get shopping and housework done! I’ve had to endure the spoiling comments and all of the well-meaning advice. I wish all of these experts had a baby like mine for one day…then they’d be singing a different tune!
I’m lucky in one aspect of it all…Haven sleeps well during the night. I’m (of course) still co-sleeping with her and she’ll sleep a 12 to 13 hour night as long as I’m by her side. She stirs to nurse every few hours but never wakes fully. When we lay down at night, she can nurse up to two hours before she’s finally in a deep enough sleep to let me go. But, she still has to sleep with her face against my breast and her whole body pressed next to mine. She also decided about 2 months ago that she will only sleep on the couch. I think it’s because when we’re in bed I can roll away from her but can’t on the couch.
I realize (even on the hard days) what a wonderful gift I’ve been given. I’ve been given a daughter who knows what she wants and won’t settle for anything less. Her doctor comments on how advanced she is at every visit. I love my daughter with every fiber of my being and if she needs me to be with her every moment of the day then that’s what I’ll do…I just need an understanding ear for when those days get hard! That’s why I’m so glad I found this board! :) I realize this post got really long…I guess it’s just nice to tell my story to people who actually understand it! I’m really looking forward to getting to know all of the women on the board and to offer support when I can!
Karen and Haven 9/4/00
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