Life, the Universe, and Strat-O-Matic
Volume I, Number 4
March 28, 2001
What’s in a Name?
Would a rose by
any other name smell as sweet? Probably. But would a Strat-O-Matic team by any
other name still make the playoffs?
The most
important aspect of Strat-O is one that most of us tend to forget when we
become so engrossed in trying to win, that the basics become overlooked.
Strat-O is a game, and it’s supposed to be fun! Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve broken
many a pen, chucked many a 20-sided die across the room in frustration as Tim
Belcher’s card with a 5.47 ERA and 20 hits over innings is blanking me 6-0
after 7 innings. But there’s one way to help remember the fun of the game,
especially if you’re just starting out: pick a good name for your squad.
Choose, but
choose wisely, for just as the true Grail….oops, sorry, going off on a tangent.
Anyway, when you name your team, don’t just call yourself the “Erie Mets”
because you live in Erie, like the Mets, and have little imagination. Have some
fun with it. Of course, some people get carried away, and I always condone
sticking to league standards, but for heaven’s sake, try to be original, try to
be clever, and stay in the spirit of the Game.
A Long Time
Ago, in a Strat-O-Matic League Far, Far Away…
My first
introduction to Strat came at the hands of Phil Trygar back in 1989 while we
were working for the Scranton/W-B Red Barons baseball team. He showed me his
team, which sported the likes of Wade Boggs and Mark McGuire, and which he
called the Washington Monuments. He even had red, white and blue dice to roll
for the team. I thought that was really clever, and it helped intrigue me to
learn more about the game.
I was still in college at the time, and as it turned out, Phil needed someone to take over a team in his league. To prepare for my induction into this league, Phil and I drafted up a league of our own using the 1988 set. We drafted four teams apiece, and since I had time on my hands at school (what, you expected me to study?) I played out most of the games for the eight teams. Trying to be clever with my four team names, I chose the St. Louis Lightning, the Chicago Sting, the Delaware Destroyers and, my all-time favorite choice of mine, the Albuquerque Turkeys. I liked the names, anyway. I really had fun playing those games, not really caring which teams won and which teams lost. It was just very enjoyable, as my first Strat experience. The biggest highlight came when Tom Browning no-hit one of Phil’s teams. I just thought that was so cool.
When I returned
from school that summer, it was time to play in my first face-to-face draft
league. The team I inherited had been called the L.A. Guns by its former owner.
He was a heavy metal fan, and that was, for some unknown reason, a popular rock
band. That name had to go. I was big into NASCAR at the time, and that year my
favorite driver, Darrell Waltrip, finally won Daytona. Plus, the NASCAR movie
Days of Thunder had just come out, and my favorite metal band, AC/DC, had a hit
song ‘Thunderstruck’. So, I decided to call my team the Daytona Thunder. (A
year or two later some Arena Football team named themselves the Thunder,
stealing my idea!) The team pretty much sucked that year, as I hadn’t been
given much to work with, and hadn’t learned good drafting strategies yet. But I
had fun. Considering how bad my team did, I declared that my players were
really just a bunch of goons. Which gave me an idea. Previously the team was
the Guns. I played up on this and decided that the franchise was previously
owned by a family of Germanic descent named the Guns (pronounced Goons). The
next year I changed the name to the Thundergoons. Yes, I was young and silly,
but I was enjoying myself.
After my
induction into Strat-hood, I went back to Boston University and got all my
friends immediately hooked on the game. Beginning with the 1989 season, we
drafted up our own league. Being a Miami Dolphins fan, being that at the time
there was no major league baseball in Florida past Spring Training, and being
the fact that I like sharks, I named that squad the Miami Sharks. In their one
season, they won 109 games and the first league championship. (I graduated that
December and handed the team over to someone else.)
A couple years
later, and several failed attempts to keep at least a seven-team league, I
re-joined the Boston league on a play-by-mail basis, expanding back into the
league after a couple teams went defunct. I have always been a huge Pittsburgh
Pirates fan, and the previous year, 1992, one of my all-time favorite Bucos,
Phil “Scrap Iron” Garner, took the reigns as Milwaukee’s skipper. With Garner
as manager, and nobody in the country really rooting for the Brewers, I took it
upon myself to become a fan of theirs. I even bought a hat, which today I still
have, dirty as it may be. When a friend of a friend asked me my favorite ball
team, I blurted out “Brew Crew”, like, weren’t they everyone’s favorite? As it
turned out, the Brewers finished one game behind Toronto, who ended up going to
the Series that year, in an exciting pennant race. So, when draft time came, I
picked up several Brewers, like Daryl Hamilton and Pat Listach, to join other’s
of Milwaukee’s best (players, not beer) like B.J. Surhoff. It seemed like
destiny that my new team would be the Boston Brew Crew. The team still exists
today, though I can’t even think of a Brewer worth having on the team these
days. (Well, maybe Jenkins, but since I don’t have him on my teams, the hell
with him!)
I am still
involved in three Strat-O leagues (heaven help me). As I’ve stated, I have the
Boston Brew Crew in one league, with a nice frothy beer mug as their logo. I
re-vitalized the ole’ Albuquerque Turkeys in my second league, and even found a
nifty cartoon turkey on the Net that I use for my logo. For my third league,
which is a 16-team league spanning the Continental U.S., I chose a
not-so-original name, but I had a good reason for it. I work in the front
office for a professional hockey team, the Norfolk Admirals. They are the minor
league affiliate of the Chicago Blackhawks in the AHL. Being that I love my job
and the team, I decided to name my third Strat team the Virginia Beach
Admirals. (Ya’ see, I work for the Admirals and live in Va Beach, so….) Ok, so
it’s not all that wonderfully original and clever, but after all those other
teams, it’s getting tough to think up names no one else has. Besides, I was
able to edit the hockey team’s logo to turn it into my baseball team’s logo.
(And those of you who recognize the 64 West chant, you must live in Va Beach,
Norfolk, Chesapeake, Hampton or somewhere in the Tidewater area and know that
when the Admirals were in the ECHL, it meant we beat those !@#$% Richmond
Renegades!) Now, if I could only get someone to move their Strat franchise to
Richmond for a rivalry…..
The last
significant name I have used for a team got its inspiration back when I was
with the Red Barons. Our Asst. GM, Rick Muntean, used to tell us tales about
his previous baseball jobs. Many stories were spun about the time he was
working for Walla Walla, some low-level minor league team in Washington State.
Apparently, the owner of the club was not all there, and he dubbed the lowly
team the Walla Walla Bing Bang, based on a lyric from one of those ‘50’s campy
bubble gum songs. Rick used to crack us up with stories of ridiculous
promotions the owner would try. I knew I just had to name a team after that
squad. So, as we have been known to do, whenever Phil and I would draft up one
of our league’s minor league system just for the heck of it, my minor league
affiliate has always been the Bing Bang. It just has a nice ring to it. Who
knows, one of these days I may move one of my other teams to Walla Walla and
finally give the city a major league franchise.
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