-- The camera fades in on everyone's favorite tag team and singles wrestler, Scott "The Sh*t" Tokage. He is currently in his hotel room in Minneapolis packing a bag with all of his wrestling attire and getting ready to head for the Target Center. After getting all of his crap together he heads out the door and into the elevator. He pushes the button for the lobby and waits. As the elevator takes Scott to the ground floor he begins to drift away into his imagination. The camera dissolves into a kind of wavey, disorienting effect indicating that we are about to experience a dream sequence. --

-- We now see a view of the inside of an arena, the Target Center to be exact. The crowd roars as Scott comes strutting down the ramp towards the ring. Curiously enough, the crowd is made up entirely of scantily clad females. Even more curious is the fact that every woman in the place looks like a supermodel. Scott doesn't seem to mind in the least though. He grins from ear to ear as he enters the ring. As he gets to the center of the ring he begins to speak. --

Scott: Good evening ladies and uh... ladies! It is my pleasure to come before you tonight and astound you with my amazing masculinity and striking good looks. Oh yeah, and to beat the living Hell out of three pretenders for the Light Heavyweight Championship. So, after the match, no, after the massacre the line will form directly in front of my dressing room. Don't worry your pretty little heads, there's enough Scott Tokage to go around!

-- The elevator dings as it reaches it's destination, jerking Scott from his day-dream. He walks outside and hails a taxi. After about three tries he finally gets someone to stop. --

Cabbie: Where to, Mister?

Scott: Umm. I've got a little while before I have to be at the arena. Take me to a good place to get a bite to eat. Something light though, I've gotta be ready for tonight.

Cabbie: You got it, mac.

-- The cabbie drives in silence, allowing Scott to once again drift into a day-dream. --

-- Back in the arena, Scott awaits his three opponents in the Battle Royal. First comes Feather. Well, I say it's Feather, it's kind of hard to tell who it is. The man is wearing a full body, black and white bird suit, complete with real feathers. He flaps his wings like a moron and jumps around as he comes down the ramp. By his side is a woman, and I use that term very loosely. She is barefoot, her hair is scraggely and unwashed, and her skin is as pale as Gangrel's. This must be Feather's counterpart Vixen. The two make it to the edge of the ring and begin to talk to Scott. --

Big Bird: Hey, kid. You think you can handle me? My ego is ten times the size of yours! I'll crush you with this enormous head of mine! It doesn't matter that my brains are the size of my favorite animal! I'll still get the best of you, a lowly tag team wrestler. See, it doesn't bother me that you have more ability in your little finger than I have in my whole body! I've based my plan of attack on the assumption that tag wrestlers can't make it on their own! Ha, ha, ha. I may be a fool, but I'm a king in my own mind! Now get out of my spotlight.

-- As Feather is about to climb into the ring the cab pulls to a stop in front of a small diner. --

Cabbie: Here you go, mac. That'll be $8.50.

-- Scott pays the man and climbs out of the cab. He enters the diner, orders a smoked turkey sandwich, and once again falls into dreamland. --

-- Feather is now in the ring. Scott is about to put a major hurt on the guy when Smirtdogg walks out onto the top of the ramp. He drags his little buddy KG out with him. KG looks mighty scared and pleads with his idol Smirtdogg. --

The Outlaw: No, Mr. Dogg sir! Don't make me go out there alone! I can't do anything on my own, you know that. I need someone there to support me, carry the match for me! I'm nothing without you, sir. Please, those guys will beat me to death! Especially that sexy as Hell mofo Scott Tokage. He's just too much man for me to handle! I'm scared!

Mr. Dogg: Quit your bitchin' and get your sorry ass down there. I'm sick of you hanging on to my coattail! You go down there, get beat, and go home! I don't want to see your stupid face 'round these parts again, you hear me boy? Now get out of my sight, you sicken me.

-- KG walks ever so slowly down the ramp, crying the whole way. He gets to the ring and is about to enter when... --

-- The waitress brings Scott's check. He pays the woman and leaves the diner. The Target Center isn't too far away, so Scott decides he might as well walk to the arena. As he walks he once again, yeah you guessed it, he once again drifts into dreamland. --

-- KG and Feather are in the ring with Scott. All three are about to get it on when Thorne starts wlking down the ramp. Like the other guys in the match, Thorne has to speak his mind. He begins his mind-numbing tirade. --

The Brit: Cheerio, all! Here I am, "Europe's Lamest Export"! Now, all of you blokes in that bloody ring listen up! I've been on quite a streak of not winning lately, and I don't much like it! I lost the European belt last Saturday, so I intend to try and capture past glory by taking the Light Heavyweight title which I really don't deserve. I'd much rather be doing commercials and sucking up to the fans than fighting! Wait just a second while I try and think of some stupid metaphor to use here. Umm... Hmmm... I'll shoot lightning bolts out of my a... no, I used that one. Uh... I'll kick the soapbox from under... no that's no good either. Aw, blimey. I'm just going to put up my dukes, give it my all, and go soaring over the top rope like everyone knows I will. Let's get this over with.

-- With all four men in the ring they start to fight. KG, Feather, and Thorne all team up and come straight for our hero Scott Tokage. He gives a slight grin and proceeds to step out of the way as each man dives for him, sending themselves over the top rope and out of the match. Withour even breaking a sweat Scott is the victor. The crowd roars their approval as Scott stands in the ring as four women bring him his new gold belt. --

Scott: Thank you, thank you one and all. I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anyone with half a brain that I would win this thing, but words just can't express how good I feel right now. Those three morons never stood a chance with boring as Hell ramblings and sub-mediocre ability. I am honored and proud to be your Light Heavyweight Champion. Now, as a celebration and reward for all of you fine females that supported me on my way to my first gold in this federation, I'm having a party in your honor. Everyone meet me back at the hotel!

-- With that Scott is carried off by a group of women cheering and chanting his name... --

-- Scott comes back to reality as he nears the Target Center. He grins to himself, knowing that his day-dreams could very well have been a premonition of things to come. And why not. Scott is more than ready for the fight tonight. He's more determined than all of the men combined, and has more skill on his worst day than any one of those nimrods. The world doesn't want a boring Brit, or a bird brained bastard, or even a corporate suck-ass to be their champion. They want someone entertaining, someone who can back up their words. Someone like Scott "The Sh*t" Tokage. --

-- The camera fades to black one last time before tonight as Scott enters his locker room to prepare. We see Scott the man one last time, for tonight we will see Scott the champion. --

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