Spying Is Bad For Your Health
Parts I and II
By: Lady BlackDragon
Ohayo! I am Lady BlackDragon. Um... this is like, my first fanfic and um... sorry about the English dub names, it's more natural for me to use those, even though I personally prefer the Japanese names. Um... what else, oh yeah, hi Yang( Lady Blue). How's Reenie's Adventures in Candy Land UNCUT comin' along? Uhhhhhhh... this is rated um... PG-13 for casual swearing and general anger. Um... there is NO HENTAI in my stories, I'm so clean I squeak. Honest.
SIGNED: Lady Black Dragon( Maia-chan)
Prologue- Confrontations, A math test, and a slumber party
~ Andrew ~
I looked up sharply as the very excited blonde hurled through the door. Her
hair was done up in two meatballs on top of her head, her blue eyes were
sparkling with mischief, and her adorable Crossroads uniform attested to the
fact that although she was a major babe, she was still in junior high.
Her name: Serenity Tsukino, Serena for short.
"HIYA, ANDREW!!! GUESS WHAT!!!!" she gushed excitedly, practically hopping 16
feet up in the air.
"What?" I answered, somewhat curious as to what could make her this hyper.
"My mom said I could have a sleepover party with junk food and people and junk
food, no Sammy and junk food!!!!!! I'm inviting all the girls!!" she
shouted gleefully.
I winced as I heard her overuse of the words junk food. Please God, be
merciful. Don't let him be here, please. One day without the banter, flying
objects, and hateful glares...
"Well, meatball head, I guess that she'd have to let you have people if it's a
party. And how'd you manage to get her to let you do anything exciting
besides go to the bathroom, cow-tails!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!"
There it was. That dreaded voice I had prayed a full night not to talk to
Serena today, so I could have one day of peace, BUT NO!!!! It was Mr. Arrogant
himself, Azabu High heartthrob, Serena Tsukino's worst enemy, my
best friend. Yep, you guessed it: Darien Shields.
Expecting to hear the usual screech of anger, I involuntarily took 3 huge steps
back, praying for the best. I looked up when the inevitable explosion
did not occur.
Serena's face flushed, then paled, her back still towards Darien. Her eyes
flashed with red sparks, and her lips were drawn into a taut line. Her knuckles
were white, and clenched so tight her nails were cutting into her skin,
causing droplets of blood to leak from her balled fists.
She whirled around to look at Darien, who, to my great amusement was looking
slightly startled at her vicious countenance.
"Go to hell, jerk ass, and DO NOT EVER call me meatball head," she said in a
whisper that sent shivers down my spine, and she wasn't even looking at me!
Darien gave an audible gulp and averted his eyes, flustered by her antics. Lita
chose this time to show up looking for Serena. She took one look at the
scene unfolding, at Serena's angry glare, Darien's flushed face and averted
gaze, and burst out laughing. At her antics, I burst out laughing as well.
Serena turned to us, her fierce glare replaced by a disapproving frown.
"C'mon Lita, the girls are waiting for us," she said casually, with a bit of a
threat in her voice. She turned to Darien who still looked a tad bit
wary. " As for the answer to your question, I aced my math test! Good Bye,
Andrew." She then gave a quick nod at the shocked Darien. "Later Scumbag."
The girls walked out of the arcade leaving me to laugh at the purely shocked
expression on my buddy's handsome face.
~ Serena ~
I can't believe that guy! He is such a hot gu- I mean, total idiot! What an
egocentric, totally demonic, horrible, incredibly handsome jerkwad. Wait a
minute. Crap! I'm doing it again. Just remember, Serena, that you hate his
guts, and that the world must continue as usual.
"So, Serena, your house at eight for the slumber party, right?" asked Lita.
"Right! And tell the girls to bring flashlights."
"Why?"
"Because we'll need them."
~ Lita ~
I saw the malicious look on Serena's face and immediately became suspicious.
"What the hell are you planning, Serena?" I asked, a strange sense of
foreboding covering me with its dark, mischievous shadow.
"Nothing but a simple game," she said and I smiled in relief. "That includes
planting a bugging device on an unsuspecting Darien."
I gave her THE LOOK.
"What? It's just for fun. What could possibly go wrong?"
I whispered something in her ear. She blushed three shades of red.
"Ecchi!!!" she screeched. "Besides that- that hentai thing!!"
I smiled. In actuality, I thought Serena had outdone herself.
"Hey, Serena, what do you think about bumping into Darien in the daylight, so
we can listen to him tonight. The boys are having a party too! We can
spy on the guys and get a sneak peek at their personal life!"
Serena got a wicked, no, purely demonic glint in her eye.
"Sounds good, Lita. Sounds real good...
END OF PROLOGUE
UM... on with the show. Plus I think Darien's hot too... I mean um... what a
cruel guy. (Maia- chan has stars in her eyes.) Wish I could date him.
SSSSSSIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHH!
**********************************************************************************
PART 1- 7 GIRLS AND A BUGGING DEVICE
~ Darien ~
I looked up suspiciously as 7 girls walked into the arcade whispering and
pointing at me. One of them laughed maliciously, and I rolled my eyes. This
usually meant that Serena was up to something, something at my expense, I could
tell (little he knows, heh heh). I narrowed my eyes at her and walked
over, quirky grin in place.
"Hey meatball head, trip on your way home and come back for a Band-Aid?"
~ Serena ~
I slapped him. Hard. Managing to attach the bugging device to his earring. I
grinned and walked out, leaving six startled girls to chase after me.
"Serena, I thought we were going to plant a bugging device on him?!" exclaimed Mina.
My grin remained. "I did."
"What! We didn't even see you do it, Meatball head!" said Raye, quite
impressed. "Where did you put it?"
"I put it in his earring," I explained to Amy, Raye, Lita, Mina, Lizzy, and
Molly. "Whenever he talks, it records on a tape located in my boom- box. We can
also listen to it live. Cool, huh?"
"I didn't know you had it in you, Serena!" exclaimed Molly.
Heh heh. She knows little on young women bent on revenge.
"Hey guys, its seven- thirty. Why don't we head to my place early and start up
the tape machine?" I commented.
"Yeah!" shouted all the other girls in unison. I grinned wolfishly.
"We've got some spying to do! Let's go, troops!" I said in a very comical voice.
"Yes Sir...um...ma'am!" was wheezed out between giggles from all the girls. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
30 minutes ago...
~ Mina ~
One thought was running through my head as I heard Serena's plan. She likes
him. I can't believe she likes him and I never noticed it. I'm her cousin, and
the Senshi of love and beauty to boot! I must have been too caught up in
my own...um... pathetic...love life.
As I listened to the plan, I admired the complicity and how well thought out it
was. It seemed like something the mob would use; not the so- called AIRHEAD
Serena! Wait, no, I'm the resident airhead of the group. Serena's
the lazy one. What is it with people and their preconceptions about dumb
blondes, anyway?
Then the plan took a more devious turn: scaring the hell out of the boys by
revealing their secrets to the whole arcade, via Lizzy, Andrew's sister
who's pissed at him at the moment. But it was brilliant, I had to admit. I
wanted to do it. Everyone did. Yep, even Amy was in on it...
~ Amy ~
I watched everyone's expressions at the end of Serena's synopsis of her plan. A
quirky grin on Raye's face, a mediocre smile on Molly and Lizzy's faces, a
secretive smile on Mina's face, and probably a wicked glimmer in my eyes.
"So, who wants in?" asked Serena, a smile plastered 15 miles across her face.
"Me!" we all shouted, not wanting to be left out.
Ever logical, I asked how we would know what Andrew's friends were saying when
Darien wasn't in the room. The response:
"I let Lizzy in on the plan early, and together we planted bugs all over their
house. Every room!"
"Even the bathroom?!" asked the ever hentai thinker Lita
. To my surprise, Serena answered: "EVERY ROOM!"
By now all of us were jumping up and down with excitement (for different
reasons, trust me). Couldn't wait...
Now...
~ Author's point of view ~
( hey, remember me, Lady BlackDragon, the author, oh ya do?! Ya better!)
Raye sat on the bed, fiddling with the wires.
Amy, of course, was sitting at the desk, making sure all the bugs were
functioning.
Mina was giggling while chewing bubble gum.
Lita was whipping up munchies in the kitchen.
Molly was debating with Lizzy on how best to spill secrets.
Serena, the mastermind, was doing everything else.
"Finally, everything is ready!" exclaimed Serena.
All at once, everyone jumped for the headphones, Ami for the blue, Raye for
red, Lita for green, Mina for yellow, Molly for black, Lizzy for gold, and
Serena for silver.
They ended up in one big, giant, heap.
"SEREEEEEEENAAAAAA, silver is the ROYAAAAAALLLLLLLL color!" screeched Raye.
"Yeah, well it also my favorite color, so LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!" Serena
screeched in response.
The tongue war had begun.
20 minutes later...
Raye was tied down to the bed with old gimp to avoid any physical violence and
Serena, with her silver headphones, turned on the boom- box to listen in.
Luna looked in, saw Raye tied to the bed, and promptly decided she most
definitely did NOT want to be in the room at the moment.
Raye was now trying to BITE the gimp off, her teeth aching more and more with
every second.
Amy, feeling pity, put the red headphones over Raye's ears so she could listen
in.
And listen they did. AND BOY, did they choose the right moment to listen in.
END OF PART ONE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! WANT ME TO STOP?!!!!! Didn't think so! Email ME!! Lady BlackDragon( or Maia- chan to all my FRIENDS!!! Yang, this means you. Imani-chan, you too!!!)
BEGINNING OF PART TWO
I'm sorry to confuse you, but some of the parts might be split into chapters
with long titles. Sorry! Also, I'm trying to finish this story by the end of
November, so I can concentrate on other stuff!
Lady Blackdragon
Darien's Crush; or The boys play truth or dare
The girls listened quietly to the conversation laid out before their hungry
ears.
"Hey Darien! Stop eating all the chips! You're as bad as Serena!" they heard
Andrew cry. Serena growled in protest, and Raye snickered.
"That's not a nice thing to say, Andrew!" Darien muttered beneath his breath,
but it was heard loud and clear in the room full of teenage girls. *Why should
he care what anyone says about me, anyway?!* Serena thought. * He's one of my
main tormentors! Heck, he should get a medal for some of the insults he thinks
up!*
Greg smacked loudly on a piece of pizza and around his mouthful of food,
suggested: "Why don't we play truth or dare?!"
He was answered with a forceful chorus of "NO!" 's all the way around.
"You're all wussies, that's all!" Greg still loudly munching and slurping.
The girls all cringed, Amy disgusted with the way Greg was pigging out, the
others wondering why a group of guys would play truth or dare.
The answer: They loved gossip as much as girls!
After being accused of being a, and I quote, "fussy" they all agreed they would
play.
Serena laughed maliciously. This was even better than she had planned it! Then,
she sighed in disappointment. *Too bad we didn't put video cameras!*
~In Andrew's living room~
(AN:This is told from the point of view of the oblivious guys)
Greg started. "Okay, Andrew! Truth or DARE?"
Andrew chose, predictably, Dare.
"All right! My kinda guy!" exclaimed Greg. "Let me choose wisely your fate!
Could it have something to do with... MINA?!"
Andrew's face suddenly resembled a very ripe tomato, followed by a chorus
of "Oh ho ho! Andrew, my man, your fate has been decided! You have to call
Mina!" Andrew breathed a sigh of relief. "And, confess that you're madly in
love with her!"
*** On the other side of the bugging line, Mina paled, and Serena could have sworn
that Mina resembled a dying fish with a big red bow. All the girls were
squealing in incoherent shock.
*** Andrew confidently picked up the phone and dialed Mina's number (which of
course he knew by heart). Then Darien ruined Andrew's plan.
Smirking, he blurted out to the people in the room these exact words: "All the
girls are at Serena's house, Andrew, so why are you calling Mina's. And by the
way, how do you know her number?"
Andrew turned with a grimace of disgust. "Man, I hate you. Mark my words,
You're NEXT!" Darien's eyes grew round in fear. *Uh oh.*
Andrew turned back and dialed Serena's number.
**** Ring! Ring!
Serena and Raye (having broke free from the red gimp) casually shoved Mina at
the phone. She fell on top of it, and then to the floor, the phone right at
her ear.
"Hello?" she meekly asked.
"Oh, hello, Andrew! Uh... What do you want?"
Serena and Raye sighed in exasperation.
*Smooth Mina, real smooth.*
"Saturday? Yeah, okay!" *** Faintly in the background, Andrew could hear giggling girls, and it didn't take
him long to figure out who was doing what. Lita's whistles were unmistakable,
and Serena's voice could wake the dead. Andrew hangs up, ready for revenge.
"I've got a date on Saturday, and a chance for revenge right now. Darien, TRUTH
OR DARE. Take your pick."
"Uh... seeing the dares you guys can come up with, I choose truth."
At seeing the wicked twinkle in Andrew's eyes, he suddenly knew he had made the
wrong decision.
-************************************
End of chapter one of part two
Bwahahahahahahahhahahahah! That's it. I'm going to give you cruel and unjust
punishment. Like it or not. So sue me. (don't really, I'm broke anywayz)
*Sees vicious killer monkeys let out by reader to attack her* Or maybe I'll do
the next part! Heh heh... Damn you!
******** Chapter Two of Part Two
Darien's Confession
"Okay, Darien, who do you like?" Andrew asked.
Darien paled noticably, and the guys wondered why it was such a big deal. They
would soon find out.
"Don't ask that!" he pleaded. "It's really none of your business!"
Feeling no pity, Andrew replies with: "Yes it is."
Darien backed up slowly, his face changing from white to red, as he backed up
and into a wall. Seeing no escape, he surrendered to the inevitable.
"Well, um...IkindalikeSerenaTsukinobecauseshe'sreallycuteandhasadorablemeatballs,"
gasped Darien in one breath.
"What?!" asked Andrew, in total confusion.
Darien hesitatedly repeated the jumble of words, hoping to confuse them again,
by speaking in a quiet voice.
"Well, I kinda like Serena Tsukino," Darien said very quietly.
Then it was Greg's turn to ask what was said. Darien totally gave up.
At the top of his lungs, he shouted for the world to hear, "I LIKE SERENA
TSUKINO A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE OF HER ADORABLE MEATBALLS AND BEAUTIFUL EYES!"
Around the room, all you heard was: *Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk*
******* In the room of girls, an echoing sound to the room of boys: *Thunk* *Thunk*
*Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk* When Luna walked in to the room, and saw a bunch of unconscious girls in
brightly colored headphones, she decided she was staying at Mina's for sure.
~Later That Night~
Raye splashed another gallon of water on Serena's face. "WAKE UP ALREADY
MEATBALL HEAD! YOU CAN'T STAY UNCONCIOUS FOREVER!" She shouted, still slightly
angry because HER crush liked Serena. But, she couldn't very well say that,
seeing she was going out with that adorable rock groupie, Chad(whom she
wouldn't admit she was in love with, but confessed that she liked a lot).
Serena slowly regained consciousness. With a dazed smile, "I was dreaming
wasn't I," she asked dazedly. "You know, it was quite a funny dream. I
actually planted a bugging device on Darien's earring, and then they played
truth or dare..." Serena babbled on. "And then, that guy who hates me, DARIEN
SHIELDS, said that he actually liked me! I must have been dreaming. You know
what, I bet I'm dreaming right now!"
The girls looked at each other. "Uh... Serena...that wasn't a dream."
"Oh."
*Darien, that absolutely gorgeous gu- that nightmare of a jerk, likes me?!
Okay... Calm down Serena. You're doing it again. Succumbing to the weakness of
liking Darien, the god with the ebony hair and navy eyes. AND OH MY GOD HE
LIKES ME! WAHOOO!*
"Uh... Serena?" Molly said. "Can you stop having a conversation with yourself
long enough to tell us your opinion on matters and what you want out of this
information?"
Serena blushed. What did she want? Did she want Darien to be her boyfriend?
Yes. Did she want revenge? Yes, she wanted that even more. "I want to make him
regret every mean thing that's ever come out those insulting lips."
The girls looked at each other. This was gonna get interesting.
End of Part Two
********