Quatre: She won't. The last time I saw her, she was in her tent watching her small TV. Noin: What am I going to do? I feel like I'm being ignored. Zechs: Huh? We're not trying to ignore you. Noin: What do you mean? Zechs: I didn't mean it like that! I meant that… Quatre: You should stop before you get any deeper into this. Zechs: You're right, Quatre. I'm sorry, Noin. If you want you can come to the meeting or you can take care of Sakura. Noin [a little angrily]: I'll take care of Sakura. She would get in the way of your 'meeting'. Zechs: Noin… [Noin takes the cougar cub from Zechs and walks over to his tree, sits on one of its roots, and puts the cub on her lap and strokes its head and back. Zechs sighs and goes off to find Wufei and Trowa. Quatre goes over and sits by Noin. He won't be joining in the meeting. He has nothing against Duo, yet. Zechs walks around the perimeter of the camp listening for the voices of any of the three Gundam pilots. He hears Trowa nearby and walks in that direction. He finds Trowa holding Duo up on a tree with Wufei binding him to it.] Duo: Itai! Itai! Put me down! I swear I won't do it again! Zechs: Put him down. Duo, go to your tent, now. Wufei and Trowa, follow me. [They put Duo down and he runs off to his tent. He can see that Zechs is in one of his 'moods'. Trowa and Wufei follow Zechs through the forest toward the Mobile Suits. They get to the clearing where Epyon and the Taurus suit are. Epyon creates a large shadow that blocks out the light of the moon.] Wufei: What do you want, Zechs? Zechs: I called this meeting for a reason. Duo is all getting on our nerves, correct? Trowa: Yeah, my nerves snapped when he pulled me into the pond. Wufei: Mine snapped the first time that I saw him. I knew he would be trouble. Zechs: Well, I think that we should take our revenge on him tonight. If we don't, he will keep bothering us and I my go insane. You saw what I could do when that happens. In addition, I have Epyon here. Trowa: Shouldn't we let Heero in on this too? Remember he said that he wanted revenge too? Zechs: Now I remember. Wufei: I'll go get him. He fell asleep leaning on that rock a while ago. He was asleep the whole time Trowa and I was chasing Duo. [Wufei jogs back to the camp to get Heero. Ten minutes later he returns dragging a half awake Heero behind him. Heero is totally awake when he sees Epyon looming over the meadow.] Heero: Did you guys make a plan yet? Trowa: No. We where just waiting for Wufei to get you. Heero: I have an idea! Zechs: Does it involve hurting Duo? Heero: No, but it'll scare the pants off of him. Wufei [moderately excited]: Tell us! Heero: Well, I was thinking that we could make a raft out of some tree branches. Then, while Duo is asleep, we will quietly take him and put him on the raft. He is a very heavy sleeper. We could then tie him onto the raft and push it out onto the pond. Wufei: That's it? I was thinking that we could tie him upside down in a tree while he was sleeping and then leave him there for a while. Zechs: Trowa? Do you have any suggestions? Trowa: Not really, at least not at the moment. Now that I think of it we could take him out into the woods and leave him there to let him find his way back to the camp. Zechs: That I think could be a possibility. It would be quiet for a while at the camp at least. Wufei: Do you have any ideas, Zechs? Zechs: Oh, I have too many to remember. I was thinking we could do something to his hair. Heero: What do you have in mind for his hair? Zechs: I was thinking that we could unbraid it and take some of Relena's hair clips and put them up into his hair. We could maybe put some curlers in it too. Trowa: We could do that and my idea! It would freak him out and humiliate him! Wufei: That would be well worth my time. Trowa: What do you think, Heero? Heero: That would work. When should we put our plan into action? Zechs: If we can work fast, it could be done tonight. I'll get the hair clips and curlers from my sister. Heero: Wufei and I could find a spot in the woods to dump him. Trowa: I'll find Duo and make sure he is asleep before we try to do anything to him. Zechs: All right then. I'd say we have about four hours to do this in. Wufei: We can do it in less than that. Let's go! [The pilots go off to do there part of the plan. Zechs is trying to think of an excuse that he can tell his sister so he can get the hair things. He walks into the camp and goes over to Relena's tent. He 'knocks' on the flap.] Relena: Who is it? Zechs: It's just me. I need to borrow some things from you. [Relena opens the flap of the tent and sticks her head out.] Relena: What do you want? Zechs: I was wondering if I could borrow some of your hair clips and the curlers that I gave to you from before. Relena: Okay… What do you need them for? Zechs: Umm… I need to do something with them. Relena: Like what? Tell me! Zechs: No. Just hand them over. Relena: Fine! [She goes back into the tent and looks around in her bags until she finds the hair clips. She emerges from the tent and hands the stuff over to Zechs.] Zechs: Thanks. [He goes to Trowa who is hiding near Duo's tent.] Trowa: Did you get it? Zechs: Yeah, I got the stuff. It was a little aggravating trying to get them from her, but I managed it. Trowa: Good. Heero and Wufei should be coming back soon. Duo is sound asleep. I can hear him snoring. [Zechs pauses a minute and listens. He hears Duo loudly snore and almost falls backwards laughing. He stops and looks around.] Zechs: Where's Noin? Trowa: She's by Heero's rock. She must have moved there while we were gone. [Zechs gets up and goes over to the rock and peaks around. Noin is sitting there asleep with the cub asleep on her chest. He picks up the cub. When he does that Noin wakes up.] Noin: Did you kill Duo yet? Zechs: Heh. No and we aren't going to kill him. We are just going to do some things to his hair and then take him out to the woods and leave him there. It'll give everyone a brake from his loudness. Noin: Don't you think that is a little severe? Zechs: No. Not after all of the things he did to us. Noin: You can tell me about that later. I have to find a place to sleep for the night. Zechs: You can sleep in my bed in the RV. I'll be too busy getting my revenge. Noin: You're too nice to be doing something like this to Duo. However, I guess you all have your reasons. Zechs: Yes we do. Good night. [Noin takes the cub again and goes to the RV. Zechs gets up and goes back to Trowa who is now with Heero and Wufei by Duo's tent. They are just about ready to put their plan into motion.] Heero: Is he asleep? Trowa: Yeah. He's been out for about an hour. Wufei: Then let's get this done! [Wufei carefully opens the flap of the tent to reveal Duo lying on his side snoring. Zechs hands him the hair things and Wufei crawls in the tent, careful not to wake Quatre or Duo in the process.] Trowa: Try to be very careful, Wufei. One wrong move and our plans are over. Wufei: I know what I'm doing. [Wufei unbraids Duo's hair and picks up a hair clip which he had laid next to him. Zechs tells him where to put certain things and such. Wufei quickly uses all of the clips and curlers and they are ready to put the second part of their plan into motion.] Heero: How are we going to do this without waking him? Trowa: He's a heavy sleeper. Just drag him out of the tent while he is in his sleeping bag. Then we can just carry him while he is in it. Zechs: Leave that to me. [Wufei backs out of the tent and Zechs goes in. He zips the sleeping bag up all the way and starts to pull it out with Duo inside.] Zechs [straining]: I didn't know he was this heavy! It feels like I'm dragging a bag of lead bricks! [Zechs does finally get Duo out of the tent. He drops the end of the bag. Trowa goes to the left side of the sleeping bag.] Trowa: Wufei, you pick up the end. I'll get this side. Heero, you can carry the right side. Zechs [sarcastically]: Oh, joy. I get the head. [They all pick up their ends at the same time.] Zechs: Where are we going to put him? Heero: Just a little ways into the forest on the other side of the pond. Wufei: That's a long walk. We should get going. [They slowly start walking towards the pond. Zechs has to trust the directions that Wufei gives him since he can't see what's behind him. They go around the right side of the pond and into the forest.] Trowa: How much further is it? Wufei: Not much. Just a few more feet and we should be there. Heero and I planted a stick in the ground at the spot. [They walk until Heero sees the stick.] Heero: Here! [They all stop and put Duo down on the ground. He moans a little but stays asleep.] Wufei: This should be far enough away from the camp. It'll take him a while to find his way back since we didn't follow a clear path. [They leave Duo there and go back to the camp. This whole 'mission' took about one hour to complete. They get back to the camp, which is now very quiet. Wufei and Trowa go to their tents to get some much-needed sleep. Zechs goes to his tree branch and hops up onto it. Heero goes to the rock and sits down. They are going to let Noin have to RV to herself, until it rains that is. The next day Relena gets up and comes out of her tent to see Zechs and Heero in their 'sleeping' spots. She shakes her head and wakes up her brother by jumping up and shaking the thin end of the branch he is on.] Zechs: What the…? [He looks down at Relena] Oh, it's you. What do you want? Relena: Where is Duo? It's too quiet around here. Zechs: Enjoy it while you can. Relena: What's that suppose to mean? What did you do to Duo? Zechs: Wufei, Heero, Trowa, and I got our revenge on him. Relena: What did you do to him? Zechs: We did some things to his hair and them left him in the woods. Relena: What?! That is so mean! Zechs: And Duo bothering the hell out of us isn't? Relena: No, it isn't. He has a habit. Zechs: Well hopefully this will break it of him. Relena: You are mean! Moreover, to think that you call yourself a Pacifist! Zechs: I never said that I was a Pacifist. [Relena ignores his comment and starts to walk towards Heero.] Zechs: Get away from him, Relena! Relena: I wasn't going to do anything. Zechs: Go back to your tent or something. [Relena walks back to her tent and leaves Heero alone. Zechs tries to get some more sleep but hears scratching at the door of the RV. He jumps out of the tree, goes over to the RV, and opens the door. Sakura walks out of the RV and looks up at him.] Zechs: Typical cat. [He picks it up and takes it to the edge of the pond. Occasionally a fish will swim past. He puts Sakura down by the pond. At that moment, a fish swims past. Sakura's paw shoots out at it and catches it. She picks the fish up in her mouth and carries it back to the camp. She lies down by the fire pit and eats the fish. Zechs watches the cub as it eats and then plays with the skull of the fish. He leaves the cat to play with its new 'toy'. He hears Heero starting to wake up.] Heero: That is the last time I sleep on the ground for the night for anyone! Zechs: Why do you say that? [Zechs sees Heero feeling around on the ground for something.] Heero: Found it. [He holds up a sharp looking rock.] Heero: I was sleeping on this the whole night. Zechs: Why didn't you just move? Heero: I didn't feel like it. Zechs: Then stop complaining. Heero: What is today? Zechs: Sunday. Thank God, we are leaving later today! I don't think I would be able to stay here another night. Wufei: I wouldn't either. Zechs: Wha…?! Oh, good morning, Wufei. Wufei [shrewdly]: Did I just scare the great Lightning Count? Zechs [trying to get his heart beat back to normal]: No, you didn't scare me. You just startled me. Wufei: Yeah, right. I'm hungry! Heero: Make yourself something to eat. Wufei [whining]: Then I would have to make everyone something. Zechs: No you wouldn't. Well, at least not for me. I'm not eating until I get home. I don't know if I could choke down anymore of the stuff we have here. Heero: I agree with that! Wufei: We could give Relena something to do. We could make her cook breakfast. Zechs: I'm definitely not eating anything then! Do what you want, Wufei. It's your funeral. Wufei: I'll take my chances. I'm hungry. [Wufei goes over to Relena's tent and tells her to get her butt out there and start cooking breakfast. She whines a little but comes out. Zechs has the fire ready for her.] Relena: What should I cook? [Heero holds up a fishing poll with a worm on the hook.] Heero: We have nothing left. Duo must have eaten it while everyone was asleep. You have to catch breakfast. Relena: I'm not catching anyone anything! If you want me to cook, you catch the food and I'll cook it. Zechs: Fine with me. [He takes one of the fishing polls by Heero, puts a worm on it, and goes to the edge of the pond and sits down. If he catches anything, he'll cook it himself. He might eat some of it too. Sakura follows him and sits next to him with the fish skull at her feet. Heero sits on the other side of Zechs. Wufei sits near by watching them. Sakura sees him there and walks over with the fish skull in her mouth.] Wufei: What do you want? [Sakura drops the skull at his feet.] Wufei: I'm not touching that thing. Go back to Heero and Zechs. [Zechs looks back at Wufei at the sound of his name being said.] Zechs: Having problems, Wufei? Wufei: No. Your cat wants me to play with it. Zechs: She isn't my cat. It just looks that way. [Zechs looks back at his line when he feels a slight tug on it. Sakura picks up her toy and comes back to Zechs. Heero pulls in a large fish that could last for two meals. Zechs also pulls in a fish of similar size. They take their catch to the fire. Zechs puts his fish on a stick and cooks it himself over the fire. Heero gives his fish to Relena to cook. Her face beams at the slight attention Heero gives her. She starts to cook the fish over the fire.] Heero [unenthusiastically]: That was fun. I wonder how those people on those fishing shows can fish for a living. Zechs: They have nothing else to do and they get paid good money to sit out on a buggy lake to catch slimy fish. Noin: Don't we have a big vocabulary this morning? [Zechs turns around to see Noin walking towards them with a smile on her face.] Wufei: Why do you look so happy this morning? Noin: I was watching what you guys were doing to Duo last night. Did he get back yet? Zechs: Heh. No he didn't get back yet. I doubt he is even awake. Noin: I'll never understand how a guy thinks. [She goes over and sits next to Zechs though really she leans on him as he is cooking the fish.] Zechs: What are you sucking up for? Noin: Do I need to want something to sit next to you? Zechs: No. [He continues to cook the fish. He isn't going to eat it. He just wants to see how burnt he can make it. Relena hands Heero his fish on a plate. It still flops around a little.] Heero [looking at the still live fish]: I don't think you cooked this long enough. It is still moving. [The fish flops onto the ground and flips until it is to exhausted to move. Heero picks it back up and puts it on the fire, to cook it this time. Zechs is watching as his fish catches on fire. He blows out the little flame on it and sticks it back into the fire.] Noin: You like doing that, don't you? What are you going to do when it is to crisp to even stay on the stick? Zechs: I need something to do until Duo gets back. We're going to leave today. Duo [from the forest on the other side of the pond]: Why do you people all hate me?! What did I ever do to you? Wufei: Lets think, you constantly bother me. Zechs: You played a really mean trick on me. Heero: You told Relena about the guns and she took them away. Trowa: You nearly scared Wufei and I into thinking that you were dead. Duo: I get the idea. [Duo walks around the pond to the fire. His hair is free of the curlers and clips and it is surprisingly flat. Quatre comes out of his tent to join the group.] Wufei: how did you find your way back so fast? I was expecting you back at about nightfall, when we would all be gone. Duo: I followed the sound of your voices. Heero: how did you get the clips out and get your hair so flat? Duo: I don't know. Whoever put them in my hair didn't do a very good job. They pretty much just fell out. Now I need someone to help braid it again. Zechs: Don't look at me! I can't do anything like that! Relena: I'll help you. Duo: No that's all right, Relena. I can find someone else to do it! Relena: But I know how to do it! Get over here! [Relena gets up and goes over to Duo. She grabs his hair and drags him to where she was sitting. She gets a rubber band for hair out of her pocket and makes Duo sit down. He sits down cross-legged and has a pained look on his face as Relena yanks on his hair to keep him from moving. Wufei tries not to laugh at his uncomfortable situation.] Duo: Quit laughing, Wufei. There is still enough time left until we leave. I can do plenty in that time. Itai! Relena [pulling on his hair]: You won't do anything mean to anyone on the rest of this trip! Duo: I won't. Quatre: I think I heard you say that some other time, but you didn't stop. Duo: I won't do a thing. [To himself] I might get in just one more little thing before we leave, but that's all. [Relena finishes braiding Duo's hair. He quickly gets up and goes to the other side of the fire and sits next to Sakura. The cat looks at him, then his braid, and back at him.] Duo: Don't even think about it, cat! [The cub ignores him and starts playing with his braid.] Duo: Zechs, tell your cat to leave me alone! Zechs: Sakura, get over here. [The cat ignores him and continues to play with Duo's braid.] Duo: She isn't stopping! Give her that burnt fish you have or some thing. [Noin sits up so Zechs can get the cub. He picks up the cub, hands it to Noin, and sits back down. Noin leans back against him again with the cub in her lap. Zechs puts his arm around Noin and continues burning the fish he has. Relena breaks the silence.] Relena: When are we leaving? Trowa: Whenever you get packed. I just packed up my tent and threw it into the RV. Duo: I was wondering where you where. Trowa: How did you get back so fast? Duo: I have my ways. Heero: Yeah. Sure you do, Duo. Quatre: I'll go take care of the tent, Duo. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself or the tent. Duo: That would be a good idea. I have something to do… [Duo gets up and walks into the forest. Heero, Wufei, Relena, and Noin ignore him. Zechs watches what direction he goes. Duo walks into the trees and does a beeline to the pond. Zechs looses sight of him then.] Zechs: I'm not even going to ask. [The fish he was burning finally falls off of the stick into the fire. He puts what is left of the stick into the fire and makes Noin sit up so he could get up. He stands up and goes to see what Duo is doing. He sees Duo by the edge of the pond with a long stick. He sticks the stick into the mud at the bottom of the pond and pulls it up. It is covered with mud and grass.] Zechs: What are you doing, Duo? Duo: What? [Looking around innocently] I'm not doing anything. Zechs: It sure doesn't look that way. What are you going to do with the mud? Duo: Well, I found you and Noin's Mobile Suits in the forest… [Zechs jumps at Duo and grabs him by the collar of his shirt.] Zechs [fiercely]: You had better not tell Relena about them or else I'll drag you out there and make Epyon step on you! Duo: I won't! Zechs: Where you going to do some thing to the Mobile Suits with that mud covered stick? [Zechs is still holding onto Duo's collar.] Duo: Maybe… Zechs: What were you going to do?! Duo: I… Well… I already did something to Epyon… Before I came back to the camp… Zechs [trying to stay under control]: What did you do? Duo: I kinda put some mud on it… It wasn't a lot though! Zechs: Omae o korosu!!! [Duo gets out of Zechs' strong grasp and runs through the trees trying to lose Zechs. Zechs dives into Relena's tent, finds his gun and hauls after Duo.] Zechs: Get back here, Duo! Duo: Over my dead body! Zechs: I think I can arrange that! Get back here! [Zechs gets into firing range of Duo and shoots. The bullet hits a tree near where Duo was.] Duo: That was a little close, Zechs! Zechs [fiercely]: That was the idea! [Zechs continues to chase Duo until they come back around to the camp. Shots can be heard ringing through the forest the whole time. When they get back to the camp, Heero and Noin tackle Zechs and Noin wrenches the gun from his hand. He falls to his knees breathing hard. Duo stops and comes up to Zechs.] Duo: I hope you know I was only kidding about the mud. I didn't do anything to Epyon. Zechs [catching his breath]: Why didn't you tell me that before I started shooting at you? Duo: I didn't know you were going to shoot at me. Zechs: You are a fool, Duo. [Zechs gets back up onto his feet and goes into the forest in the direction of the Mobile Suits. Noin follows behind.] Relena: Where do you think you two are going? Zechs: I'm going to the Lake Victoria base… [Sarcastically] …If that is all right with you. Relena: How do you think you will get there? Zechs [annoyed]: In Epyon. Relena: What?! How did you get that here? Zechs: How do you think Noin got here? She came in a Taurus suit and dragged Epyon with her. Relena: But what are we going to do about Sakura? We can't leave here. Zechs: Who says? She can catch herself food. She'll do fine. Relena: No she won't! She's coming home with me. Zechs: Fine! [Under his breath] I at least won't be home for a while… [Zechs and Noin go to the Mobile Suits and leave without a trace. The G-Boys are ready to go. They just have to wait for Relena to finish packing.] Heero [annoyed]: Hurry up, Relena! I was expecting to be out of here two hours ago! [Relena blushes and quickly packs up her stuff and throws it into the RV. Everyone piles into it and leaves the campsite. Sakura watches out of the back window as the campsite quickly vanishes from view. Yet another fun filled adventure comes to a close for the Gundam pilots. For Zechs, this trip was supposed to be relaxing. Let's just say that he will be facing weeks of psychiatry after the encounter with the 'God of Insanity', Duo.]