The Hurting People XXII

Ya, serial tayangan ini juga sudah terhenti sejak awal bulan Mei lalu. Bukan karena saya tidak mempunyai teman yang sedang sakit hati lagi, tetapi karena selain sibuk di pekerjaan, juga tidak tergerak untuk menuliskan pengalaman di bidang ini. Eh, tahu-tahu beberapa saat lalu, seorang warga Net ini, penderita sakit hati kelas berat yang masih belum sembuh-sembuh, mengirimkan tayangan sehingga memicu saya untuk menulis :-).

Apakah Anda pernah mengalami anak Anda masuk penjara? "Astaganaga, mengapa si jusni mengajukan pertanyaan "kurang ajar" seperti itu ya, dikiranya aku keluarga kriminil apa?," kata satu dua ortu warga P-Net ini. Saya pun belum pernah mengalaminya dan semoga tidak akan pernah, namun beberapa temanku sudah dan sedang mengalaminya. Kemarin ini saya berjumpa dengan salah seorang dari mereka, sebut saja namanya Lydia supaya anonim. Kata saya ke dia, "You don't look happy Lydia, what happened?" "Oh, I just had an argument with my husband. He wanted me to go out to meet some friends but I didn't want to, so he was mad." "Why didn't you want to?" "Because I do not want to meet people who would ask where my kid is. I can't lie and I don't want to tell them he is in jail." "I see," kata saya. "You could have told them he is out and is living by himself. Then you could say, I'd rather not talk about him." "Yes, but they always brag about how good their kids are, and I felt so bad hearing it." "You felt ashamed?" Ia mengangguk. "Who did the criminal thing, your son or you?" Lalu saya mulai pidato sedikit.

"First of all, it was his choice to do the things he did, not you. You should neither be ashamed nor feel guilty of his wrong-doing. Secondly, you are not a criminal, nor is your husband. Thirdly, there are no perfect kids as well as perfect parents. Look at Joe Kennedy (bohong, saya tidak bilang yang ini :-)). If some parents brag about how perfect their kids are, they are either lying or hiding something or they haven't seen their days :-). If I were you, I would disassociate myself from those "perfect parents" or find out other "normal" parents as friends. Karena Lydia masih mendengarkan, saya tambahkan pidato itu dengan kotbah :-).

"Lydia, there are so many parents who did all the wrong things in rearing their children but yet, their kids are RICH (Responsible Independent Compassion Honest) human-being. Why? Because the kids chose to be RICH. There are so many parents who did the right things and yet their kids became criminals. Why? Because the kids chose to. What I am trying to say, you are not responsible for their bad choices. Try to let go that guilty feeling, then you can start building yourself up. One last thing, I heard you said earlier, you wish he would learn his lesson when he comes out of jail. Don't put too much hope in that one. If that's the norm, the jail would be empty. Hang in there and if the kid chooses to learn from his lesson, it's good for him, otherwise you carry on with your life. Good night and I hope to see you soon."

Semoga pidato dan kotbah di atas, cukilan dari pengalaman saya yang sesungguhnya, tidak akan bermanfaat untuk Anda, melainkan sebagai bacaan yang lumayan atau selingan saja di tengah-tengah diskusi berat yang sedang berlangsung saat ini di P-Net :-). Selamat berakhir pekan (panjang sekali untuk rakyat Canada karena tanggal 1 Juli HUT "Proklamasi" kami dan banyak kantor yang meliburkan hari Senin 30 Juni yang kejepit :-)). Salam dari Toronto.

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