Disclaimer: I do not own any of the HxH
characters. They are all belonged to Yoshihiro Togashi, we just borrowed them
to make a fic^^.
Note: Hi minna- san! **Grins widely**
Another HxH fic! (Wow… I’m getting addicted in HxH…). And as you always know,
this IS a KurapicaXNeon fic. But it is different of what you have red in my
fics. This is a joint fic written by Maiki Aya (me) and Shiro Yuki!
Yuki: Hello to all of you!
Hehehe… Anyway, about the site again… I’ve putted another
section… Hope you visit the page! Thank you for all the supporter of KXN and
Enjoy!!!
Aoi Kioku
By Maiki Aya and Yuki Shiro
Cold, selfish, unforgiving, yet soft,
gentle and pure, this was what she saw of the rain as she continued walking
down the dim streets at night. She didn’t care that she was only wearing a
dress and a thin shirt, soaking from head to toe, all she cared about was that
she was alone, alone with her thoughts.
She didn’t know when things came
crashing down, when she lost control, she was always in control, or she liked
to think so. Things would have been fine, she would have continued lying to the
world, continued smiling and pretending that she didn’t have a care in the
world, when inside she was screaming out for someone to listen, to understand.
Yet she ignored those screams, tossed it away believing it was nothing besides
disloyalty to her father. Of course her Otou- sama was always there for her,
but… is it because he loves her? She wanted to believe she was but ever since
her nen power was stolen…
She shook her head furiously, how
could she have these thoughts? Right
was happy, contented to be in his position. Right’s happiness was her happiness
too. They all knew how much her Otou- sama meant to her, if one dared to harm
him, she’d have the bodyguards to protect him in no time. No one ever
questioned her care and love to her father.
But one did
She shook her head again and looked
up to the mad sky as if hoping the sight of it will scare away the thoughts of
him…
Yes, him…
He was a clever young man, saw right
through her, saw pass her false smile into her interior feelings, into her heart.
That scared her, no one has ever seen through her mask before, seen through to her,
it angered her as well. How dare he know so much about her! How dare he come
and throw off the unnatural balance
that she had under control! How dare he cross the limit she has set and try to
reach her! So she saw nothing of him, nothing besides some know-it-all person
that had nothing to do besides interfere in the mind’s of others. But later,
she learned more about him, that like her, he too was hiding from the world,
from those around him, those who cared about him, not wanting to hurt
them, like her too he was wearing a mask, one that he had grown so used to that
he didn’t remember how to show him, the true him.
She stopped in mid step and grinned
at the memory. She has never met someone so much like her, someone that could
lie beautifully through their teeth as if it was the truth as she could, who
could read emotion of people’s faces and see what they’re really feeling
as she could, who could be as insensitive as she could.
“Are you happy?” he asked one day
“Sou yo”
“Hontou ni?”
“Otou- sama is happy then therefore
I’m happy, his happiness is my happiness” she replied
“Then are you truly happy?”
“I already told you that I’m happy”
“Sou desu ka…”
He did not know how much that
question had got her, how much it got her thinking for days never being able to
get rid of it. Then again, maybe he did, maybe that’s why he had asked her.
They still continued to talked,
pretend they’ve never had that conversation. Things were changing for her, she
was smiling, smiling not because others wanted to see it, but because she truly
wanted to smile. But a nagging doubt in her mind told her that it would not
last long, not to get used to it because it would do nothing but hurt her even
more then things already has. But once again, she ignored them. She was
starting to feel something within her that has always been nothing but
emptiness and coldness. She felt, a little warmth.
The growing cold on her skin brought
her but to the harsh reality. She should have never trusted those feelings,
feelings of warmth. Because, he left, left as quickly as he came.
He was leaving, returning back to
York Shin, with his friends because he has things to take care of. She was
there to see him off. He promised to return, but she did not believe him. Otou-
sama had said the same thing a year ago when he left and so far… Then why should he? But still smiled and claimed that
she would be here, waiting for him. He must have sense this because the hurt
look in his eyes confirmed them, though he just smiled back and said he will
come back as fast as he could.
It started raining heavier now, looks
of pity were visible on the faces of those she crossed as she continued
wondering the streets. And what a sight she must have been. Totally drenched in
water, wearing nothing but a dress, which clung onto her, offering little
protection from the rain. She did not bring an umbrella with her, she did not
care, she tended not to care these days. A person came up to her though,
offered her an umbrella but she simply declined and turned away, saying nothing
more of it. He must have pitied her she though and she did not like it, she did
not need their pity, she was used to people envying her, not feeling sorry for
her.
Her mind went back to the rain, the
cold bitter rain. Was keeping things inside of her, bottling them up not her
way of crying? The rain poured suddenly at this awareness, continuing to freeze
her, threatening to break her down but she refused, she had never back down on
anything before, much less the harmless rain which continued…
To freeze her,
Harden her,
Turn her to ice
As if to make sure that she would
never feel warmth again in her life, never to feel the emptiness inside of her
fill up with lo-
She suddenly yelled, she just had to
except it, except the fact that she was never meant to feel love, to love and
be loved. Except she will never have the warmth again, warmth only he could
bring.
“Then let me still be your warmth
…Neon”
She immediately halted, she knew that
voice, a voice she knew all to well…
She spun around, cherry eyes met
azure.
“Kurapica…”
~ End ~
Ending Note: So, what you think? I think we’ve put to much her and
she. But, I think it is the best way to describe Neon’s loneliness…
hehehe… Ja, that’s for now… And PLEASE REVIEW!!!
PS
Aoi Kioku means Blue Memories. If you look at this closely… You could see
Neon’s memories was her feelings or thoughts about her father…