Trust
(by Lady Death from Romania)
Life always gives you new definitions of the word 'trust'... Always, just like the
word 'friendship', trust, or at least what you call trust, changes. Suddenly,
after it took you centuries to defrost your soul and trust the ones around you,
all of a sudden, you look around and see you have been betrayed. You are alone,
defenseless, and you feel naked before Them, only because you committed the
imprudence of trusting them, and opening your soul to them.
All of a sudden, you realize that they actually don't care... they're all wearing
masks, and, all of a sudden, you can see right through them. You can see how
they simply DO NOT CARE, and how easy they turn their backs on you. And you're
amazed: are you the ONLY ONE who cares? Are YOU the only person that actually
gets involved? That CARES? So, are you the last person who CAN care?
NO. It's just not worth it. I can't do this anymore; it takes too much energy...
And I simply don't have the strength to care. But I know I'll always be like
this: it takes me ages to learn how to trust people, and then I wake up all
alone, betrayed by the ones I trusted the most, and I'll shut myself from the
world again. History repeats itself - always. Maybe this is the most important
thing about history: it is cyclic...
But why am I saying all this? I know I'll always end up alone... Trust enchants
me, it allures me... I'm just like the moth and the flame: from far away, it seems
so sweet, so comforting..... And it's mirage makes you get closer to it...Now, when
you're close to it, you are warm, you feel good, and this sensation of comfort
gets to you like a drug... you can't take it out of your blood, and you start to
want more... more and more...and you get closer and closer to it... it dazzles you and
fools you, just like any thing that's too good to be true. And then, what
follows is already known: you're getting closer and closer to it, until you get
burnt. And die. Always.
Keeping a certain distance is always good.
........ I should learn not to care .......