Time frame: Takes place shortly after the fight with Saitou (it's the aftermath of that fight the title refers to). Spoilers for Manga volume 7 and episode 30. Basically a 'what if' story, but I don't want to give too much away here so read on.

C&C welcome

IN THE AFTERMATH
by Sara Bates (sairazu@mailcity.com)


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His eye color hadn't changed back. Even after Saitou left, even when he reluctantly sat down and let Megumi tend to his wounds, his eyes had remained that same detached amber color.

"Are you all right?" Sano asked.

Kaoru nodded, still not trusting herself to speak. Everything's okay now, she thought, trying to calm herself. Everything's okay and yet...

She was broken from her reverie by her rest of her friends' worried expressions. To appease them, she managed a small smile.

"I'm fine, just a little...shaken." She turned to walk towards the room Kenshin had entered with Okubo Toshimichi.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Jou-chan." Sano grabbed her arm gently.

"But..."

"I think he has some business to attend to."

At that Megumi coughed. "Yes, I agree," she said, speaking quickly in a clipped tone, "I'm afraid I should be leaving now. It's late you see."

Kaoru turned to Megumi and nodded, remembering how moments ago she had demanded Kenshin be treated for his wounds before doing anything else.

"That isn't necessary," he had said with his back towards her, his voice completely toneless.

"Of course it is!" Megumi had replied forcefully.

He had turned towards her then, fixing her with those narrow golden eyes. Megumi had gasped and reflexively taken a step back.

Okubo had spoken up, trying to alleviate the tension by saying that he did not mind waiting. Kenshin had sat down and despite any discomfort she may have had, Megumi completed her task.

It hadn't been easy, Kaoru thought, she must have been scared, all she saw were the eyes of a killer...

Kaoru placed a hand on Megumi's shoulder. "You're right, it's pretty late--you should head on to the clinic."

Sano let go of Kaoru's arm. "I'll walk you."

Megumi just nodded, too worn out to manage a tart reply.

"Kaoru?" a small voice asked.

Yahiko. In all the commotion, they had almost forgotten about him. Kaoru walked towards his small form, the worry evident in her face.

He stood up from where he sat. "Are you all right, Yahiko?"

"I'm fine," he said in a stronger tone, "I just...wanted, um, to know if...I could stay with..."

Kaoru nodded, understanding his request.

"But it's okay if you want me to stay," he said hurriedly.

Kaoru passed a hand through Yahiko's hair, surprised that he didn't protest and turned to Megumi.

"Would it be all right if Yahiko stayed with you tonight?" she asked.

Megumi nodded and Sano spoke up, "I'm sure the Fox Lady wouldn't mind if you stayed the night at the clinic too."

"The Rooster-head is right," Megumi said with a gentle smile.

Kaoru smiled back. I know what you guys are trying to do, but I'm fine, she thought.

"Thanks, but despite everything this is *my* dojo."

The worried expressions in both Sano and Megumi's faces did not fade.

Kaoru laughed. "I'm fine! I'm fine! Stop worrying!"

She led them to the porch--almost shooing them away and watched as their figures blended in with the shadows in the distance.

***

"Do you think she's really okay?" Yahiko turned to Sano.

The older man simply smiled. "Jou-chan can surprise a man. I expected her to be nervous, scared even hysterical and--" he broke off. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the woman beside him. She hadn't uttered a single word since they had left.

"You okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Megumi said sharply.

Sano sighed. "Yeah, well you don't look it."

A few minutes passed before Sano realized she hadn't taken the bait. Beside him, Yahiko rolled his eyes.

"Megumi?" Sano asked, genuinely worried.

It was her turn to sigh. "I wasn't completely scared. I was just startled...it was too odd to understand. It was like it was him andnot him and if it wasn't him, then..." she broke off and laughed self-deprecatingly.
"I'm a liar. I was scared half to death," she confessed.

"Then you're not the only one," Sano said. "I was pretty scared too. I don't know how you managed to argue with him and treat his wounds. If he had glared at me the way he did to you, I would have probably just run awa--"

"Liar."

Sano smiled sheepishly, "Okay, maybe I wasn't *that* scared. But--" he searched for something to say and failed. "It's okay to be scared," he finally said.

Megumi smiled faintly. By then they had arrived at the clinic. Hands in his pockets, Sano turned to leave.

"You can stay here if you like," Megumi said.

"I've got some business to attend to--"

"Humph, nothing good, no doubt."

"--but I'll probably come by later."

"Don't you dare show up with more wounds! I won't be treating anything in the middle of the night!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sano turned and began walking away.

"He better not get in any fights tonight with that shoulder of his," Megumi murmured. She turned to Yahiko, "Let's go inside, it's bit chilly out here."

"Megumi?"

"Yes, Yahiko."

"I-I-I was scared."

Megumi gathered the boy in her arms. She repeated what Sano said, knowing that coming from her, the words would be more comforting.

"It's okay to be scared."

***

Kaoru occupied herself cleaning the blood of the floor. Not a pleasant task, she mused, but a necessary one. And, she reflected, it has a calming effect--not nearly as good as hitting something with my bokken, but
nothing's perfect.

She went outside to rinse out the bloodstained rag and was surprised to hear the shoji slide aside. Kaoru watched as the three men came to view.

"Please consider my request Himura," Okubo said solemnly.

"Aa," Kaoru heard Kenshin reply.

She saw Okubo get in the carriage and heard the man with him yell, "Remember, May 14!" Soon afterwards, there was the sound of horses hooves and they were gone.

Kaoru wondered what it was about. She left the rag along with the bucket of dirty water outside and made her way to the porch where she saw Kenshin sitting. She sat next to him, leaving the silence unmarred.

Kaoru couldn't take it for long, "Are you alright?"

He didn't reply for some time and when he did his answer was sharp, "You don't need to concern yourself about me."

Her eyes widened at both his words and his tone. He confirmed what she already suspected when he turned to look at her. Inwardly, she answered her own question--of course you aren't alright, if your eyes are that
color...you are definetly *not* okay.

She met his amber gaze steadily and brushed his answer away, choosing to ignore it.

"So what did Okubo-san ask of you?"

"It is none of your concern."

With difficulty, Kaoru squelched the anger building within her.

"That's where you're wrong," she said softly, but sternly, "if it concerns you it concerns all of us: Sano, Megumi, Yahiko and me. It concerns us because we care about you."

"No one can care for someone they don't know. None of you know me," he seemed to want to end the conversation with that, standing up quickly, but Kaoru didn't let him. She stood and grabbed his wrist.

"You know that what you've just said is a lie."

He faced her once more. "Then why do you fear?"

Was that it? Kaoru thought to herself, is that what is plaguing him?

"Megumi, Sano and Yahiko were surprised. Okay, they were a little of afraid, but--"

"I didn't mean them," he moved his hand and in a fluid gesture, it was his hand holding her wrist. "I meant *you*--weren't you the one who told me that you didn't care about my past?" He took a step towards her.

Why is he trying to intimidate me? Kaoru thought.

"I wasn't scared," she said neutrally, "well not of you anyway."

"Then who? Saitou posed no threat to you, his own code of justice prevents him from harming innocents and besides," his voice dipped dangerously, "I wouldn't have let him."

"Kenshin no baka," Kaoru said softly, even as a part of her was touched by his wish to protect her. Her tone became more forceful, "*That's* what scared me. You might have broken your oath--you might have *died* and there was nothing I could do about it!" She drew a calming breath and said solemnly, "I wasn't scared of you, I will never be afraid you. Ever."

True, in her naiveness she had asked for only the rurouni to stay when they had first met, but to deny a part of him...that wouldn't do. How she had come to regret those blunt words she had said so long ago!

She bit her lip. If I had known what I know now...that Kenshin is always Kenshin, regardless of outward appearances.

His sigh brought her back to reality. "You *should* be scared, I bring misfortune to those around me."

Kaoru blinked, unfazed. "Have you ever considered that just because others care they might welcome any misfortune?" she said evenly.

She watched with satisfaction as the golden eyes widened. Kenshin bowed his head. When he straightened, violet eyes met blue.

He let go of her wrist. "Kaoru-dono..."

She smiled at him taking his hand between hers. "You're probably tired, why don't you rest? Tomorrow I'm sure Megumi, Sano and Yahiko will be here, you can tell us then what Okubo-san asked of you."

Almost instantly, his face darkened. Kaoru noticed this and lightly squeezed his hand. "But for now, you'd better go rest."

Having said that, she let go of his hand and began walking away. He watched as the small figure made it's way in the dojo, certain that he would do anything to protect all who cared about him--especially her.

His throat tightened as he remembered why he had wanted to scare them, to retreat into himself and push them away. Part of him was pleased he failed, but he pushed that thought away, feeling ashamed of his selfishness.

Had he succeded, he thought, at least his leaving them wouldn't be as painful.

He closed his eyes a moment, then silently entered the dojo.


END
***
For those who don't know:

Aa-yeah
shoji-the rice-paper panels in Japanese houses
that act as walls and doors