by: K. C. "Kaoru-Sensei" Hulsman
Kenshin quietly left his room, heading towards
the kitchen to start in on
breakfast before the rest of the household
was awake. But before he
went to the kitchen he made the rounds, checking
to make sure that
everyone was truly safe. He could tell by
Yahiko’s snores that he was
perfectly fine. He walked by Kaoru’s room
and was surprised to find her
door open. He frowned and quietly went through
the rest of the dojo.
He heard noises in the kitchen, so he quietly
crept along. He realized
before he turned the last corner that it was
no enemy, but was Kaoru.
He walked casually into the kitchen, and was
greeted with the site of
Kaoru cooking some rice.
“ORO?”
“Ohayou, Kenshin,” replied a subdued Kaoru
without even turning
around.
“Ohayou Kaoru-dono. You’re usually not up this early.”
“Hmmm, I have some errands to run.”
“If you scoot over I’ll help with breakfast.”
She wordlessly scooted over. Kenshin sidled
up beside her and started
cleaning and preparing some vegetables. They
worked in an uneasy
silence.
“Kenshin, please hand me a knife.”
“Hai,” he said as he handed her the knife receiving
the first look at her
face all morning.
“Kaoru-dono, daijobu (are you okay)?”
“Nani? Oh… I didn’t sleep well last night.”
The dark circles under her eyes were clear
evidence of that. Kenshin
had never known her not to sleep unless she
was worried, but somehow
it was more than that. She was so subdued
and quiet, without the usual
spark of life in her eyes.
“Kaoru-dono-“
“The rice is ready! Are the vegetables done yet?”
“Hai…”
“Then let’s eat.”
Kenshin watched Kaoru as she took the food
into the other room,
wondering why she had cut him off. It was
not her way.
“Should I wake Yahiko?”
“No, let him sleep in for once. I do not want
to hear his grumbles this
morning, and there is no real need for him
to wake up early today. And
the food will keep till he wakes.”
“Hai.”
Kenshin joined her for their silent breakfast.
He could tell by the way
she picked at her food that she did not feel
much like eating. It was more
as if she was forcing herself to eat. Finally,
she gave up the pretense and
set her food down.
“I’ll be back later,” she replied with a tinge
of huskiness in her voice.
She swiftly left the dojo.
Nani? Kenshin thought as he saw something glisten
in the sunlight. A
tear? Kaoru-dono is crying….
* * * * *
Yahiko woke in a daze, his sleep-fuddled mind
trying to figure out why
the sun was coming in at that angle. After
a few moments, he realized
why. It was almost midday. He could not fathom
why Kaoru had not
come to rudely awaken him and nag at him to
ready himself for practice.
He rushed to his feet, got dressed quickly
and searched for his sensei.
* * * * *
"OI!," Yahiko called out as he saw the retreating
red-haired Kenshin
turning the corner, "Kenshin!."
"Oro?" replied Kenshin as he turned around to face Yahiko.
"Have you seen Kaoru?"
Kenshin blinked thoughtfully, and smiled. "She
woke early this morning,
she told me she had some errands to run in
town."
"Hmph! And we were supposed to have a lesson this morning!"
Yahiko stormed off towards the dojo to get some practice in.
Kenshin smiled amusedly and turned around,
as he saw Sano walking
through the dojo gate.
"Hey Kenshin!" hailed a cheerful Sano as he
watched Yahiko blow
through towards the dojo.
"Konnichiwa Sano."
"What's got the runt all fired up? Kaoru and him get in another dispute?"
"Oh, no. He is mad cause she had to run some
errands and missed
practice."
"NANI? That little runt always complains about
morning practice! Man,
he is a walking irony. So Kenshin, what's
for lunch?"
Kenshin looked at Sano somewhat disbelieving, and sighed amusedly.
"Rice and miso soup. It should be done in a little while."
"Good cause I'm starving!"
* * * * *
Kaoru sighed deeply as she slowly sank to the
floor in a kneeling
position. She inhaled the scent of the incense
deeply, and closed her
eyes offering up her silent prayers to her
departed dear ones, as she sat
alone in the old temple on the outskirts of
town.
She always came here on the anniversary of
her father's death. He had
died in a battle and his corpse had been buried
near the battle-site. She
had no true grave to go too, so she would
go to this temple, the temple
her father had brought her too when she was
a little girl. Her mother was
buried near the temple, and Kaoru had already
visited her mother's
grave.
It was always her father's death she had a
hard time dealing with.
Perhaps cause she felt like she had to keep
his ideals alive, especially
since his death had been in conflict with
those ideals. A man sworn not
to kill, but only defend, forced to fight
in a battle where he was expected
to kill. When he had left, though she might
have been young, she knew
it was her father's death sentence.
A tear rolled down her cheeks as she remembered….
"Father, please don't go. I don't want you
to go." Kaoru had said tugging
on the hem of her father's shirt as she looked
sadly at him.
"Kaoru-chan, I don't want to go either. I would
rather be here with
mother, and you, as well as my students. But
some duties, some
responsibilities cannot be shirked or ignored."
He had knelt and picked up his musume (daughter)
in his arms for what
would be the last time. He held her for a
long time, his own eyes closed
in an effort to fight back the threatening
tears. He let out the breath he
was holding and forced a smile.
"I love you, Kaoru-chan,” he said as he kissed
her forehead and brushed
the bangs off her brow. “Take good care of
your mother for me. And
keep those students of mine in line."
Kaoru stood there too numb for words but nodded her head meekly.
"My, how time flies, you have become a lady
now." Her father
observed, with clouded eyes. He ruffled her
hair one last time, embraced
his wife looked into her eyes as he gently
wiped away her tears, and
walked out the door resolute.
For Kaoru time had passed at a crawl before
she came home one day
from practice to find her mother sobbing in
her room. Her mother had
heard her foot steps, and reached out a hand
towards Kaoru. Kaoru with
fear in her heart grasped her mothers hand.
Her mother looked up with tears flowing down
her face, "Kaoru, your
father is dead."
Kaoru stood shock still, rooted in place, only
the tears that fell against
her mother and her's joined hands were the
only sign of recognition of
her father's death from Kaoru.
Kaoru never really knew what had happened to
her mother, she just
began to fade. After that day she never saw
her mother smiling, and as
time passed her health worsened. Till one
day she passed on, leaving
Kaoru alone.
"I miss you guys," she barely whispered and
wiped the tears from her
eyes, took a few calming breaths, and set
out back for home.
* * * * *
Kenshin was finishing up the laundry, hanging
the clothes to dry as he
saw Kaoru-dono return home from the corner
of his eye. He could tell
by the stony expression on her face that something
was wrong. With a
slight frown he finished hanging the clothes
up to air, and went into the
dojo to speak with Kaoru.
* * * * *
Kaoru walked into her room and very quietly
but deftly slid the door
shut behind her. With a reverence approaching
a religious ceremony, she
very cautiously moved over to an old trunk,
formally sank down to her
knees, and removed from folds of fabric an
old katana, and placed it in
her lap. Then she reached back into the trunk
and pulled out a
weathered looking journal, placing it to her
side carefully.
She unwrapped an old faded hair scarf from
around the sheath of the
katana, and let it fall mercuriously into
her lap. She took the scarf
holding her hair back out of her hair, her
hair tumbling down, hiding her
face in shadow. She slowly pulled the katana
from its sheath and ran her
old hair scarf across the edge of the blade,
her silk scarf cutting
cleanly…
Kenshin approached the door to Kaoru's room,
and stood outside unsure
if he should knock and disturb her, or let
her be. He heard the rasp of
metal against sheath, and was alarmed, when
he heard the soft hiss of
the silk he burst into the room.
"Kaoru-dono, don't….."
His voice trailed off, as he realized that he had made a BIG mistake.
Kaoru looked up, red-rimmed surprised eyes
pierced Kenshin's through
her veil of hair, as she quickly bopped him
over the head.
"BAKA! Just what do you think you are doing
bursting into my room
like that?!"
"Gomen, but I thought…."
"You thought…. You thought I was trying to take my life?!"
Kenshin's bowed head was all the proof she needed.
"How could you think that, it would be against
all my beliefs. I thought
you knew me better than that by now."
"Gomensai," he turned on his heel to leave.
He began walking out as he
slid the door shut behind him.
"Kenshin," sighed Kaoru, pausing him in his
tracks. "Its okay, I'm not
angry with you. I know you were just concerned."
Kenshin felt the weight of guilt lift off his
shoulders, and he turned back
around to face Kaoru.
Kaoru had her head bowed, her hands nervously
picking at one another
in her lap, her hair hiding her face. She
motioned with her head for him
to sit down.
He sat down unsure of what was happening or what was to come.
"Today is the anniversary of my father's death."
The words sprang from a very sad, dark void
within Kaoru, Kenshin
looked at her with surprised and sympathetic
eyes.
"This sword has been in the Kamiya family for
generations, it was my
fathers and he used it before he founded his
own school. This journal
was my fathers, full of his thoughts and recollections
of the years he was
with my family."
With ice cold hands she placed the journal in his hands.
"Could you do me a favor Kenshin?"
Kenshin blinked confusedly but replied promptly,
"Hai." "Read that to
me, please."
Kenshin looked at the book and back up at her.
"Are you sure?" he asked in all sincerity.
"Hai, please read it to me."
Kenshin slowly turned the pages till he found
the first entry and began
reading…
Kaoru closed her eyes, her hair enfolding her
in privacy. With the steady
cadence of Kenshin's gentle voice she was
lulled back into memories.
Memories of how her Dad had comforted and
dispelled her fears when
she lost her first tooth. Of the time mother
had come down with the high
fever and almost died. Of how on her ninth
birthday she talked man to
man with her father and convinced him to teach
her his budo.
As Kenshin read from one entry to the next,
Kaoru relived the
memories. Bitter sweet smiles quickly changed
to sad tears for Kaoru.
Kenshin kept a concerned eye on her as he
read, wondering why Kaoru
was allowing him this insight into something
so personal to her. He was
surprised when he had come to the end of the
journal. He looked up
uncertainly, surprised that he truly saw Kaoru
in true focus for the first
time.
Several moments past, and Kaoru covertly rubbed
at her eyes and took
a few deep breaths.
"Arigatou, Kenshin," she said in a subdued husky voice.
Kenshin was quiet a while. Then he gently put
the journal on the floor
beside him and reached out towards Kaoru.
He parted her silky locks,
and gently brushed the last remnant of tears
from her puffy swollen
eyes.
Kaoru closed her eyes strangely comforted and
for the most fleeting of
moments rested her face against Kenshin's
hands and sighed.
Kenshin removed his hand and moved over to
the basin of water in the
side of the room, and dipped a cloth into
it and handed it to Kaoru.
Wordlessly, and gratefully she accepted and
dabbed at her swollen eyes.
Kenshin watched her with concern, questions
burning in his eyes. Kaoru
looked up and could tell he wanted to say
something, or ask her
something.
"Kenshin, you have something you wish to ask?"
Kenshin gazed thoughtfully at his hands and
then back into Kaoru's eyes
debating if he should ask or let matters go.
It's not fair for me to ask such things when
I tell her nothing of myself,
nor does she ask… but…. I want to know so
much…. He closed his
eyes, a part of him wanting to know so much.
"Kaoru-dono, why did you request for me to read the journal?"
Kaoru looked down at her hands.
"This is my yearly ritual, I read that journal
so I won't forget how my
father lived, and not remember how he died.
When I lost Dad, I lost
Mom the same day, for her heart had died and
the grief on her heart
only heightened every day. I've been alone
since that day. Until now.
I'm not alone anymore, and I have you to thank
for that: Sano, Megumi,
Yahiko, and you. When you barged in you reminded
me I'm not alone
anymore… and lets face it. At least when you
read the journal you aren't
worried about getting it wet with tears."
Kenshin looked at Kaoru a long time feeling
a warmth spread through
him, because he realized he was not alone
anymore either. He smiled at
Kaoru-dono.
"I think you have a good point."
THE END