"The leader of the shadows?" Sano asked in an unsure voice.

Kenshin nodded his eyes full of repressed hatred and anger.  Sano almost
stepped back seeing those strong emotions going through the gentle rurouni's
face.

"An important battle was to be soon fought but it was at that time that I
was ordered to go kill... Sabishi was not allowed to come with me but
ordered to stay and fight in the battle.  I had to admit I felt unease at
the thought of her fighting with the army but I had little choice in the
matter..."

"You had little choice?"

Kenshin grinned suddenly, "When dealing with women, especially like Kaoru or
Sabishi, it's a losing battle to disagree with them."
 

Inside Sabishi suddenly sneezed while Kaoru sneezed in the middle of her
bickering with Yahiko.
 

"I left, still slightly troubled but I figured no one could be strong enough
to hurt her, knowing her capabilities quite well by then..."

Sano looked at Kenshin suspiciously for a moment but let it go.

Kenshin shuddered at the memory and continued.

"My task was pretty simple and routine for me and I soon finished.  I then
hurried back to the battlefield to be with Sabishi..."

Sano narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his words...

"But I was delayed on my way back because of a group of black robed
samurais.  I fought them, taking much time before I ran the last man through
with my blade. I was suspicious and was at that moment that I saw the figure
in the trees.  I couldn't see him but I could feel his killing ki, very
powerful yet not quite sinister strangely.  He was one of the shadows and he
did not say anything.  In fact he did not speak till the end right before he
left."

"What did he say Kenshin?"

"He said something about the girl hitokiri and to beware."

"What does that mean?" Sano exclaimed.

"I had pondered for a moment as well but I decided to think it over later
and proceeded on to the battlegrounds.  When I got there most of it was over
already and there were only a few groups left and thousands of dead bodies
on the ground.  What caught my attention was the fact that there was no
fighting left.  Only two groups staring at each other."

Kenshin stopped and closed his eyes.  It was getting so extremely difficult
to remember, he did not want to remember but to throw this hated memory in
the void as he did with as many memories as he could. But he knew he could
not escape.

"I hurried over and it then that I met Yuori again."

"Again?" Sano asked with a surprised voice.  Kenshin shrugged of his
question and continued.

"Yuori glared at me, his face still that of a young boy's but his eyes were
as haunted as before.  In his blood streaked hands he held a long black
cloth streaked with blood as well.  He suddenly laughed insanely, surprising
me as well as the other members of the Ishinshishi still out in that horrid
battleground.  I was very curious to why they were there but I pushed that
to the back of my mind."

"What did Yuori do?" Sano asked anxiously.

Kenshin's eyes dimmed.

"It was at that moment that I looked closer at the material in his hand and
saw it was not a regular piece of cloth but a ribbon, the same ribbons
Sabishi used to tie back her long hair when going in battles.  It is the
same as I use."
Kenshin shifted his head slightly so Sano could note the black strip tying
back his long red-orange hair.

"You mean..." Sano began in a slow voice.

"I demanded Yuori to tell me where he got the ribbon from and he answered
with wild eyes his older sister."

"Older sister?" Sano thought quietly.

"Finally the five shadows appeared and Yuori laughed declaring that his
older sister would soon return to him and that I would be punished severely
for hurting her.  My Ishinshishi comrades were silent and a haunted look
fringed their eyes.  Yuori laughed and disappeared with three of the
shadows.  Two remained and were as silent as statues.  I was extremely
puzzled but I just wanted to see Sabishi.  I asked them where she was and
they were silent for a moment.  Finally one of them walked up to me and told
me in chopped shaky words that Sabishi had disappeared in battle and was
reported to be dead."

Sabishi massaged her temples, her head throbbing with pain and her body
feeling so cold yet so hot at the same time.  She sighed, as she looked from
her window to the see the back of the rurouni she had loved for so long and
his friend Sano.  She frowned when she saw the slight figure depart from the
bushes behind Kenshin and head toward the dojo toward her room.  She waited
expectantly and her door suddenly slammed open.

"What is it you wish to learn?" Sabishi answered in a weary voice surprising
the female doctor.

"Sabishi, it is obvious that Ken san is very upset over this, he didn't even
know I was there listening as well as Sano."

"Megumi," Sabishi answered the dark haired doctor, "it is a long story."

"And I have all the time in the world for my friends." Megumi answered sternly.

"Friends?" Sabishi said softly with a smile.  She nodded.

"What happened after this?"

Kenshin breathed slowly and deeply.

"I was inconsolable for the first few minutes but the sword the last two
shadows threw at me bought me out of the shock.  Enough so I caught the
metal sword as they disappeared without a word.  I had not believed that
Sabishi had left me but my hopes were almost completely dashed with the
solid object in my hand..."

Sano waited expectantly.

"It was Sabishi's sword."

"But how, how is she still alive?" Sano asked as he looked toward the dojo.

Kenshin looked in Sano's direction as well and his eyes disheartened.

"I wish I knew..."

"Yes, you can say I was."

"Why didn't you return to Kenshin afterwards?  I mean this is the first time
Kenshin has seen you since that event has occurred ten years ago almost."

Sabishi felt a pang deep in her chest and her eyes filled with tears at that
memory.  Megumi bit her tongue and hoped she had not hurt Sabishi too
deeply.  Sabishi looked up finally and wiped her eyes carefully and her
voice grew monotone almost.

"It was right after the battle..."

"So why do you hate Yuori so much?  I mean just seeing you hold her ribbon
couldn't have been that bad."

Kenshin laughed suddenly, almost insanely scaring Sano.

"All those bitter memories, the cause of one insane boy..." Kenshin thought
quietly.  That moment, the first moment in such a long time Kenshin actually
wanted to kill, to kill the one who had caused him so much pain... to kill
the one who he caused many others so much pain...

Kenshin breathed deeply, calming himself. He looked up finally with tired eyes.
"I'm sorry Sano, perhaps I can talk about this another day with you?"

Sano nodded and patted the ex hitokiri in the back.
"No problem Kenshin.  Why don't you go rest?"

Kenshin nodded and headed toward the dojo with Sano following him.  Sano
thought quietly of what Kenshin had said.  He knew there were many details
missing and much still remained a mystery.  He knew one thing though.  And
it was enough.
Sanosuke peered at the small figure of the red headed rurouni who has
managed to survive all those long hard years of pain.  He frowned as
something tugged at his mind but he could not grab hold of this fleeting
thought and he shrugged it off as thought of no importance.

As they neared the dojo they heard two soft voices.  One was quite monotonic
and Kenshin frowned at the voice, for he knew this tone of voice.  Kenshin
stopped briefly and Sano stared in silence at the room to the far East of
the dojo.

"Sano..." Kenshin said quietly and without turning he knew Sanosuke was nodding.
Kenshin decided to look into this with Sano.

Megumi nodded as Sabishi explained her past, her meeting of Kenshin or
rather then Battousai, her voice growing steadily colder and tedious as each
moment passed.

"I was presumably dead to the Ishinshishi.  It was quite a surprise to them
when I showed up almost a year later.  It took me quite a while to track
them down but knowing the plans, I figured it out.  I was anxious to see
Kenshin again for after all I had been missed for almost a year.  I went
straight to my leader and it was quite a surprise to him..."

***Flashback Five*** Sweet Sorrow

Sabishi hid in the shadows of the headquarters as she surveyed her
surroundings.  When she was satisfied to jumped up, grabbing hold of a thin
rope she had thrown up into the window.  She tugged to make sure it was
secure and climbed up quickly.  She went inside the window and with knowing
eyes and sense she found the room of her boss, Sasaku(?).  Making sure no
one knew she was not dead and here in the headquarters of the leaders of the
Ishinshishi she crept to the door of Sasaku's room.  She slid the door open
slightly and saw as she expected Sasaku sitting with two of the strongest
samurai next to him with unsheathed swords.  She smiled and she knocked on
the door.

"Who is it?" Sabishi heard the voice of one of the swordsman.

"You know who I am Sasaku sama." She answered evenly.

The next moment the door had swung open and he was staring at her with wide
eyes.

"Sa-sabishi?" He said almost hoarsely.  She only smiled.

"Yes, I am alive.  Why, I'll tell you later on but most importantly,"
Sabishi said as she entered the room, "where is Himura Battousai?"

He appeared sort of uncomfortable and told the two swordsmen to go outside.

"Well Sabishi we had won quite a few wars and it appears a new era will begin."

Sabishi smiled, "That's wonderful to hear but I would like to know where
Kenshin is, or is he on another assignment?"

Sasaku sighed, knowing the inevitable.

"Sabishi, I know about the relationship you had with Battousai.  He loved
you so very much and thinking he lost you came close to destroying him."

"Is he okay?!?" Sabishi asked.

"Yes, he is fine." Sasaku calmed her down.

"But understand he thinks you are dead Sabishi and-"

"What are you trying to say?" Sabishi asked in a suspicious tone of voice.

Sasaku sighed softly and finally forced it out.
"Sabishi, Battousai loves another woman now.  He loves Tomoe."

Megumi's eyes widened as Sabishi told of her returning finally and then
finding out that Kenshin had found another.  Sabishi's voice sounded almost
bitter and self-mocking as she told of her cynical sort of life.  She
stopped at the part where she found out Kenshin loved another woman and took
deep breaths of air.  She felt dizzy and so very tired...

Megumi was quiet for a moment before she spoke.
"What did you do when you found out?" Her voice was almost inaudible.

Sabishi smiled weakly.
"What I did? I would not believe this, iie I did not want to believe this.
I forced him to tell me the room where Kenshin was staying and charged over
there.  It was when I looked into his room where all hope was dashed from me
and all I wanted to do was to break down crying."

Megumi nodded for her to continue.

"Strange, but Tomoe san, Himura's wife as well, saw me.  She seemed a lonely
sort of person but one almost full of innocence in way.  Yes she was ridden
with what appeared to be sadness but she had a pure soul, a soul not soiled
by the guilt and crimes of a hitokiri like me."
Sabishi was quiet for a moment.
"Much like Kaoru... but Kaoru is a stronger woman... fitting for one like
Kenshin."

Sabishi smiled at Megumi, almost bitterly.

"Tomoe san asked of my name, which I gave her and then told her not to ever
mention about me.  I know she must have found it strange but she ensued my
wishes as well as the few others who knew of my continued existence."

Megumi felt the injustice of life and the sadness of one such as her well in
her eyes.

"Oh Sabishi..." Megumi whispered as Sabishi stopped at that point.

"I could not reveal my existence to Kenshin, it would make him ridden with
guilt as well as a heavy decision of choosing.  I can never bring such
problems to Kenshin." Sabishi said as she clenched her hands and now the
tears flowed freely.

"Never..," Sabishi whispered, "so I went into the shadows... So many times I
wished, I just wished things could be as they were before but I knew it was
impossible..."

Megumi wiped at her eyes as Sabishi bowed down slightly in pain.

"I know I should be happy that Kenshin went on, but I can't help but be
selfish whenever I look into the sky, alone... All those bitter memories
would come back and I would just wish, wish Kenshin would love me again and
be with me... so I wouldn't be alone..." Sabishi whispered, almost inaudible
to the human ear.  Tears of injustice streamed down her face as she
struggled to hold it in and to keep it inside her heart.

It was then that Megumi gasped.

"Sa-Sabishi..." Megumi whispered and pointed outside the window.

Sabishi looked up with bright eyes full of tears and followed Megumi's finger.

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in surprise as the forbidden
word tumbled from her lips.

"Ke-Kenshin?"