Star

"Ken-Kenshin?" Sabishi whispered with wide eyes.  Sanosuke winced at the incredible pain and guilt carried in Sabishi's eyes as well as the loneliness...

Kenshin did not say anything but fixed his deep violet eyes on Sabishi's until Sabishi pulled her eyes away.  After a moments silence Sabishi spoke in a quiet voice, about inaudible to the human ear.

"Were you listening?"

Kenshin didn't answer at first looking away at the sky.  Then he looked back at the girl ex hitokiri who was looking at her tightly clenched fists.

"Hai, Sabishi..." His voice, something was different...

Sabishi looked back, her violet eyes afresh with new tears.
"Go-gomen!" She whispered and quickly got up.  Unsteadiness hit her as she was about to speed away... anywhere but there, it was Sabishi's destination.  She couldn't face him...  Kenshin knew her well though and jumped through the open window to stop her.  He managed to catch her arm and his grip was tight.

"Let me go!" Sabishi cried with tears streaming down her face.

"No!" Kenshin said in a raised voice. She felt her strength leave her as she looked into his violet eyes now showing his pain and emotions unhidden now for her to see.  Sabishi trembled under his gaze, her eyes blurring tremendously now and crumbled into Kenshin's arms.

"Sabishi!" Kenshin yelled as he caught Sabishi.  It was then that he noticed how hot Sabishi was and how shallow she was breathing.  Megumi rushed to Sabishi's aid.

Hot tears continued to stream down Sabishi's face almost as though a never-ending stream.

... ...

Kurayami peered out the window as Yuuri hummed softly next to him.

"You know Yuuri, I wonder about Ryuji a lot you know.  Kuanja as well."

"Hmmm... those two are the oldest of us shadows."

"Well I know that Yuuri but think about the way they act.  They do not appear to fancy killing yet they still kill.  Kuanja and Ryuji especially Kuanja appear to have some sort of attachment to the that ex girl hitokiri."

"I suppose so." Yuuri answered from behind him.

"It's strange but it's almost as though they are protecting Sabishi... weird that they know so much as well.  And for some reason, some sort of hatred toward Battousai that has nothing to do with war or killing.  Yuori sama as well.  Those two are the queerest."

"What about Kuroi?" Yuuri asked in amusement.

"Him? He's just weak."

"No, he's pretty good with the sword."

"No, I don't mean physical weakness though he definitely can not go up against Hitokiri Sabishi with that attitude of his, but I mean in spirit.  He lacks spirit."

Yuuri put down his slim sword, which he had been sharpening.

"Kurayami, you know each of us never had much of a life.  Even before meeting Yuori, I never really cared much for life."

"I know.  In way it was good I met him for I met you and the others.  The bad thing is that I just want to stop fighting."

"Iie." Yuuri said simply as he picked up his sword.

Kurayami sighed.
"I know.  I just don't want to fight Sabishi."

.... ...

"Is she okay Megumi?" Kaoru asked anxiously as she tried to peer into the room.

"She is fine Kaoru and I think it would be best to leave her alone for a little while."

"I understand Megumi..." Kaoru answered as she walked toward the other room, peering back one more time.

"Kenshin, what is your heart hiding this time?" Kaoru thought silently.
 
 

<"I could not reveal my existence to Kenshin, it would make him ridden with guilt as well as a heavy decision of choosing.  I can never bring such problems to Kenshin ... Never ...">

Kenshin closed his eyes in contemplation.

"Now I completely understand..." Kenshin whispered to himself softly.

He walked out of the dojo into yard and saw Kaoru standing there looking into the sky.

"Kaoru dono?" Kenshin inquired.

"Ah Kenshin!" Kaoru said with a smile but her voice seemed downhearted.

Kenshin frowned slightly and walked up to her.

"You should go to bed Kaoru dono.  You do have classes in other dojos tomorrow after all."

"I know Kenshin.  I guess I just need some time..."

Kenshin didn't answer but looked into the sky as thought thinking of a time long past...

"Kenshin, who is Sabishi?"

Kenshin's eyes narrowed but nodded.

"We haven't spoken to you about her have we?  She's, she's my... she was part of the Ishin like me." Kenshin finally finished.

"She was a hitokiri like you?"

Kenshin nodded as he turned to look at Kaoru.

Kaoru looked enchanting as the silver moonlight of the stars and moon shone over her, highlighting her lustrous raven hair and sparkling blue eyes.  He felt a warm feeling as he stood near her yet, there still was Sabishi...

Kenshin frowned, did he love Sabishi? Or was it... He looked at Kaoru who had resumed looking into the stars.  He was startled out of his deep thoughts when he heard Kaoru speak.

"Kenshin, we are your family.  I am your family.  Please, if you need any help, if even just speaking, please... you can tell me, talk to me... open up to me."
Kaoru took Kenshin's hands into her soft shapely hands as she implored him to talk to her.

Kenshin smiled gently and Kaoru felt her face flush and she let go of his hands.

"Arigato Kaoru dono.  And I will open up a little more." Kenshin said with a warm bright smile.  He looked into the sky and remembered... It was a cherished memory which he prayed he would never forget...

<"Will I ever have a star, Kenshin?">

Kenshin excused himself and walked back toward the dojo then and Kaoru watched him walk back.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered.

***Flashback Six*** Star- Our Most Cherished Dream

Sabishi smiled happily as she stared up into the dark starry night sky.  For the first time in weeks she was allowed a day of rest.  There was no more fighting or killing... She didn't have to hear the screams of the ones she killed for the new era.  But most importantly...

"Sabishi?" A gentle voice spoke.

Sabishi looked to her right and smiled softly at the hitokiri who sat next to her.

"Yes Kenshin?" She inquired in a soft tone.  Kenshin smiled gently, shifting over to wind an arm around her slender waist.

"Tonight is beautiful..." Was Kenshin's simple reply.

Sabishi nodded as she sighed contently, leaning her head onto Kenshin's shoulder.

"The stars in the sky are so brilliant today... It feels, so peaceful Kenshin."

Kenshin chuckled slghtly as he remembered something.

"Un... it looks beautiful..."

"Kenshin, what are you thinking?"

He smiles, "You always know. I always loved watching the stars..."

Sabishi nods with a smile.

"Do you know that some say that each star in the sky represents a dream for each person?"

"A dream?"

"Their most cherished dream that will shine forever in the sky and one day come to life."

Really?  Will I ever have a star... a star of my most cherished dream Kenshin?" She said in a soft gentle voice.  Kenshin smiled at her, his violet eyes twinkling as he reached and caressed her cheek.

"I'm sure you will." Kenshin whispered as he kissed her.

Sabishi leaned back against Kenshin.  They sat quietly in the starlight for a moment in perfect peace and contentment.

"You will also Kenshin, and yours will forever shine in the night."
Sabishi had said quietly.  Kenshin didn't answer but his arms tightening around her waist signified his answer.

"Thank you Sabishi... thank you..."
... ...

The door slid open and the rurouni walked gently into Sabishi's room and kneeled next to the immobile figure on the futon.

With gentle fingers he swiped back the pieces of silky black hair from her eyes.

Sabishi stirred at this touch, startling Kenshin a bit.

"Kenshin?" Sabishi said softly with eyes that were half closed.  Suddenly she, as though she remembered her eyes widened and she looked away, turning her head.

"Sabishi..." Kenshin murmured in his soft voice.  With gentle fingers he turned her to face him, his eyes sad, the walls lain down to rest for the moment.

"Why didn't you come back?" Kenshin words seemed choked as though he was reliving the events of ten years ago, the lonely period of loss in his life all over again.

Sabishi closed her eyes momentarily and then she answered.

"You love Tomoe san..." It was a statement that hit Kenshin quite hard.

Kenshin let go of Sabishi's chin.  He couldn't answer her.

"Kenshin, I do not blame you for going on with your life.  That is why I loved you so, the strength and giving nature of your soul.  I couldn't come back as you heard back then, you would have then had to make a choice.  A choice that would have caused you pain.  Better to die then to ever cause you that grief."
Sabishi sighed and exhaled softly.

"And now... your love for the sixteen year old, Kaoru..."

Kenshin's eyes widened and he turned staring into the eyes of a wise woman.

"Tell her Kenshin.  You have to tell her.  She loves you back as well."
They were simple sentences but it caused her great anguish and a great loss to say these simple words.

Kenshin stared into her eyes again and she smiled very sadly, her violet eyes glittering.  She had thought he had chosen, but she would never realize that the past stays with a person forever...
... ...

<"Tell her Kenshin.  You have to tell her.  She loves you back as well.">

Kenshin hung up another piece of laundry, his eyes unfocused as he was in thought.

"Who is it I chose?" He thought silently.

He sees the smiling face of Kaoru on the bright white sheets and then the face of the ex girl hitokiri.

"Or is it a choice?" He said softly.

"Well, you do have to chose eventually Ken san."

Kenshin stiffens then turns slowly and smiles at Megumi.

"Ohaiyo, Megumi dono."

Megumi nods with no expression on her face and bends down to help Kenshin hang up the white sheets.

"Oh no Megumi.  It would be better to do it myself." Kenshin answered in a soft voice.

Megumi frowned slightly.
"Kenshin, you must remember, do not shy away from help offered by your friends and family..."

She then got up gracefully and headed toward the dojo, to Sabishi's room.

Kenshin smiled wisely, knowingly.

"Arigatou Megumi dono."
 
... ...

"You are feeling better neh?" Kaoru's voice was full of worry.

"Hai Kaoru san. Please, do not worry I am quite well."

"Well I still don't want you to move around so much okay?"

Sabishi laughs slightly, "Of course of course, if it will make you happy Kaoru san.  But, I am fine."

"You should get some rest though." Megumi said as she slid the door shut.

"Megumi san." Sabishi greeted with a gentle smile.

Megumi frowned slightly though.  Something wasn't right.  There was the gentlest hint of restrainment in her eyes...

"Uh, Kaoru san, can you bring me some tea please?"

"Of course." She said simply as she left the room.  She knew that there was something private that Megumi wanted to say.

Megumi watched as Kaoru walked out toward the kitchen and then turned to Sabishi.

"You told Ken san to stay with Kaoru san...?"  Megumi said.  It was more a statement then a question.

Sabishi smiled brightly.
"Kaoru san is a high spirited girl.  She is strong enough and capable of being by Kenshin's side.  Plus, she does not have the dirt of a hitokiri.  She has the pure soul of an innocent, wise as she is, still innocent.  This will bring Kenshn happiness, the peace he has always deserved and the life of an ordinary person who never has to fight nor kill again."

Sabishi sighed slightly as she shifted in her futon.
"Kenshin wants to be left alone, not much to ask for but it would be impossible if I were with him."

"So he would not be happy if he were with you." This time it was a question.

Sabishi looked away.
"Perhaps, perhaps in a time, then, ten years ago... Now... Megumi, now..." Her voice faded.

Megumi frowned slightly.
"You must remember who he loves."

"That is not me."

"How would you know?"

Sabishi turned, her eyes narrowed.
"I am not worthy of being loved.  My crimes, my sins, the guilt and dirt I carry in my soul, in my heart, I am not worthy of his love!"

"Ken san still loves you!"

"NO! You are wrong! Kenshin wants to be free from the pain of the past. He just wants some peace, peace as an ordinary man! Yet, if he loves me, he will be forever reminded of his days as a killer! NO! A person like him... a person like him... KENSHIN JUST WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE!!!" Sabishi screamed with tears streaming down her eyes as she holds her head between her hands.

Sabishi sprang from the futon then, in god's speed and raced from the dojo.
 

Megumi screamed after her but she knew she was too far off to ever hear her...

<KENSHIN JUST WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE!!!>

Megumi frowned, this statement did not appear to be directed toward her...
She shivered as thought someone was watching her.  Something wasn't right.  That was Megumi's thought as she stood up sadly and shut the window to tell them that Sabishi has left.

... ...

Kuanja sat idly in the wooden chairs fiddling around with a dagger.

"Geez, I have never seen you so irritated before!" Kuroi said as he pulled off his blades from his forearms.

"This is not the time to mess with me Kuroi." Kuanja grated through clenched teeth.

"Sorry.. Sorry.. I just wanted to know what was wrong." Kuroi said as he left the room.

"Strange," Kuanja thought as the young boy left.
He had never seen this side to Kuroi.  Kuroi had always acted so arrogant and sure of himself.  He would never have shown any sort of emotion to anyone.

<"Kuroi is just a lost boy...">

Kuanja's lips raised slightly in a mocking grin.

"Perhaps you were right Ryuji, he is only a lost child."
Kuanja spoke to the shadows of the room.

"I won't say 'I told you so' for it would be quite childish of me to say so."
Ryuji answered as he appeared suddenly from the shadows

"Hmph, when had we have time to be childish."

Ryuji sighed, "You know, Sabishi is just a bit angry right now that's all.  It's not like she hates us."

"... ..."

"Well, she is not that kind of person.  You know that, yet you are afraid of her hating you."

"She's..." Kuanja began.

"I know I know.  I felt the same way.  She saved me as well Kuanja."

... ...

Kenshin sat on the porch, his back against a post as he closed his eyes.  Everything was so complicated right now.  He had heard Sabishi screaming and he had arrived too late to catch her.

"Why is she so stubborn?" Kenshin thought and then chided himself.  He heard the door slide open and briefly heard the voices of Yahiko and Kaoru before it slid shut again.

"Kenshin." Sano said.  Kenshin nodded in response.

"She's gone?" Kenshin repeated.

"Perhaps she'll come back..." Sano said gently.

"Perhaps." Kenshin said.  Sano frowned.

"You know, this is not like you.  IF you're so worried about her why don't you go find her.  I'm sure you have the ability to do so."

"I don't think she wants to see me right now."

Sano sighed, why was he being so difficult, no why was he hiding his true feelings away from his family again?

"Damn it! Why can't he understand?" Sano thought.

Kaoru walked out then.

"Kenshin? Would you like to eat something?"

"No thank you Kaoru dono, I think I would like some time alone to think..."

Kaoru watched with a slightly worried frown on her face.  Megumi peered out from the large window, her face undecipherable.

"You know where she is."

Kenshin looked up in surprise and Megumi caught his eyes for a moment, wise violet eyes that registered shock, which she held with her dark eyes.  Megumi then went into another room, as though nothing had just happened.

Sanosuke watched the female doctor walk to another room with bewilderment for a moment before he cleared his face.  Kaoru appeared a bit flustered by the exchange and frowned.

Kenshin sat, quiet and unmoving and he stared thoughtfully into the sky.

<"Yours will shine forever... ">

Kenshin smiled and got up gracefully.

"Where are you going Kenshin?"

Kenshin turned back slightly his eyes strangely peaceful.

"Bringing Sabishi back."