Kenshin Up to Bat
By Tomie

"Oh my, how exciting!" Kaoru exclaimed as she and Megumi took their seats in the stands. "I’ve never been to a baseball game before. I’ve heard it’s wonderful!"

"Hmp. Well, the game isn’t the most wonderful part, dear. It’s the uniforms," Megumi said with a certain gleam in her eyes as she pointed her thumb toward the dugout. Several built men were standing with loose tops and tight pants.

"Ahhh…" Kaoru said as her eyes widened. "Nice uniforms. VERY nice…"

"Welcome to Aoi Stadium, home of the Weasels," blared a voice from the speakers. It was the announcer, Okina, welcoming the fans. At the word, "weasels" the crowd gave out a wild cheer.

"It sure can get loud here, can’t it," Kaoru said, wincing as the roar rocked her eardrums. "Um, I’m going to visit Tae at the food booth, want anything?"

"No thanks, I’m fine. Don’t take too long, the game’s going to start soon," Megumi shouted to Kaoru over the crowed.

"Hai, hai!" Kaoru replied.

Down below, the two teams could be viewed in their dugouts. The home team wore white pants and dark blue jerseys, with the word "Weasels" written with white over the chest. The visiting team wore their expected gray, with black embroidery reading, "Lions." As the final minutes approached, the teams
received their pep talk from their managers.

"Alright, baka players, no slacking. We got a game to win and I won’t have you guys messing up like last night," said Hiko. He takes a glance at his lineup, his eyes swiftly surveying the names down the list. They abruptly stop at the number five spot. It read, "Ex-Hitokiri, 3B."

Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked at his players, finally picking out Kenshin and Shishio. He looked from one to the other, letting out a short groan. "Shishio can only last 15 minutes out there…pressure on the pitcher," he thought. He then took a look at the small, redhead. "All right, Shishio, you got the number five," Hiko announced. "Everybody, we take the field first. Now get outta here," he barked.

The players obediently jogged out to their respective places – Soujirou played left, center and right field, Sano catcher, Katsu pitcher, Enishi first base, Misao second base, and Aoshi short-stop.

"You think it’s all right that she plays?" Katsu asked Sano as he walked toward the mound.

"Yeah, it’ll be alright, baka. She’s a tough chick," he replied, sliding his mask on. "But she only wanted to play second base just to be next to Shinomori," he thought, rolling his eyes.

The batboy, Yahiko, Coach Souzou, and the manager all took a seat on the bench – with Kenshin quietly at the very end with a forlorn look on his face.

"Did I miss anything?" Kaoru asked Megumi as she returned with some crackerjacks and a Coke.

"Nope, they’re just starting," Megumi said and then added, "Look, first guy is up to bat."

Kaoru watched as the Lions player readied himself for the first pitch, leaning over and swinging his bat two and fro.

"Oh my, you’re absolutely right, Megumi. Baseball is wonderful…" she said, her eyes half closed.

**CRACK!!**

"…And it’s heading toward the left field wall, it’s going, going, going….and it’s outta here!! He ripped that one outta the park!" announced Okina. Half of the crowed clamored happy jeers while the other half booed.

"Kuso," Sano muttered as he watched the ball sail over the fence. "Oi, you alright? Maa, just forget it and get the next one," he rose his voice to Katsu.

The next batter stepped up to the plate. Sano gave a series of signals as he crouched and Katsu answered back with a nod. He wound up and released. A loud "PACK!" was heard as the ball flew into Sano’s mitt.

"Ball!!!!" growled the umpire.

Sano jumped up and spun around to face the ump. "Eh yo, that was a perfect pitch..."

"Don’t argue with your superiors boy," Saitou said with a wolfish grin. "I can get you kicked out of here."

Gritting his teeth, Sano slipped his mask back on, promising himself that he’d get in a good punch sometime – maybe after he retired. He’d probably have something called a "candy bar" named after him by then, so it would be OK.

Katsu let go a second pitch.

"Ball!!!!"

"Chikushou!" Sano yelled as he jumped up toward the ump again. Saitou raised his hand, about to give the "ejected" signal, but Sano growled and crouched back down before Saitou could do anything.

"Dammit, that smug asshole. After my first commercial, POW!" Sano thought.

Pitch.

"Ball!"

Pitch.

"Ball!"

"…And he walked the second batter," the announcer’s voice echoed throughout the stadium. "Not a good sign for these Weasels – they’re down one and it’s only top of the first…"

By this time, Sano’s face was a furious, pure red. "FORGET THIS SHIT!" he roared. Just then, he caught sight of Coach Souzou in the dugout. Souzou nodded to Sano. "Alright, alright. I can do this. But after my first feature in Sports Illustrated, POW!" he thought, trying to calm himself down.

Just then, a loud laughing could be heard coming from third base. A wild ball of fire and smoke burst from the third baseman, until there was nothing there.

"Kuso!!" Hiko said, throwing his hands up. "That wasn’t even 15 minutes!!"

"Today’s an abnormally hot day," Souzou said calmly.

"Dammit, alright. You, get the hell in there," Hiko growled pointing to Kenshin. Kenshin’s eyes lit up and he dashed out to third base. He then waved to Kaoru in the stands.

"Oh look, Kenshin’s going to play after all!" she said cheerfully.

"Hmm…I’m not sure that’s a good thing," Megumi replied.

"Eh, Kenshin, you know what to do, right?" Sano called out to him.

"Um, yeah, I think so." Kenshin sweatdrops.

The truth was Kenshin didn’t really know much about this game called, "baseball." Everyone told him that is was fun, but he never really had the time to learn. As a boy, he was too busy training while everyone else played these types of games. He’d never even touched a baseball before. But, he was too embarrassed to say so.

Katsu let go another burning pitch. The wooden bat broke from the impact, sending a chunk of it down the third base line.

"…And Tsukioka makes him hit into a sweet roller toward third base - an easy out...oh wait a minute. What’s he doing? The third baseman is picking up the bat instead!!" said Okina with rushed words.

Kenshin picked up the broken part of the bat and threw it to the side. Soujirou ran all the way from right field and was able to cover for Kenshin and hold the runner to a single.

"Someone can get hurt with that thing out there," Kenshin said sheepishly.

The entire team groans.

"Battousai! Get the damn ball first, next time! Or I’ll bring my Jinchuu on you, dammit!" shouted Enishi from the other side of the diamond.

"…And we have runners at the corners with clean-up batter, ‘Boom-Boom’ Anji up next. Not good for the Weasels," commented the announcer.

Katsu tugs at his collar, letting a rip of steam shoot out. He wipes sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand and then tips his cap.

"…The wind-up...and here’s the pitch! Runners go…Boom-Boom swings and….it’s a rip toward left field…." Okina said excitedly.

Just then, running toward third base and with an Ozzie Smith-like dive, Aoshi catches the ball in mid-air, lands and slides on his stomach, turns over, and while continually sliding on his bottom, he gracefully feeds the ball to second base.

"…Beautiful, just beautiful!! What athleticism!" Okina shouts. The crowd goes wild.

Misao gives out a shriek as she catches the feed, but regains her composure as she flips the ball out of her glove, tags the base with her foot, and while leaping over the runner sliding into second, she fires to first base.

"OUT!" said the second base umpire as he punched the air.

"OUT!" barked the first base umpire with a similar motion.

Misao squealed with delight at the sight of the "out-by-a-mile" double play.

"…And what a play! Looks like things may turn around for our Weasels. Two outs, top of the first. Now we have ‘Scythe-boy Kamatari’ up to bat with a runner on third…Tsukioka just needs this one to close the inning…" Okina continued.

In slow motion, the ball travels toward Kamatari, his eyes widen and his tongue slides out of the corner of his mouth. He squints as he swings, and the ball is slapped down the third base line. Everyone turns to look at Kenshin. Katsu’s eyes widen, then Sano, and then Misao. The fans jump to their feet as a cheering Kaoru’s mouth slowly moves to what seems to be, "Goooo Keeen-shiiiiiinnn!" The small, redheaded player jumps towards the ball and dives.

All in the stadium is quiet as he lands on the ground with a thud, face down. Dust is thrown up into the air, the thud of his landing echoing throughout the compound.

Suddenly a roar of cheers burst from the crowd as Kenshin gets up and holds the ball toward the sky. "Yeeeahhhhh!!!" they screamed.

"Go, Himura! Yosssh, I knew you could do it!!" exclaimed Misao.

Kenshin threw the ball to Katsu as the team headed for the dugout.

"You did good, man," Sano said as he slapped Kenshin on the back.

"Thanks," Kenshin said happily.

"Now, all we gotta do is get some hits."

As Misao trots her way back to the dugout, someone comes up from behind her and slaps her on the butt. "Nice play…that was a great turn," the voice said.

She shrieks and spins around to face the man of the voice. Her eyes bug out as she sees Soujirou.

"Soujirou! I can’t believe it!! YOU of all people!!" she said scolding him.

"Oh no, no," Soujirou said immediately waving his hands with a reassuring smile on his face. "It's not like that. You’re supposed to do that to show sportsmanship. It’s OK."

"Sou desu ka?" Misao asked, her eyes brightening.

"Yea."

"Cool!"

Misao then ran up behind Aoshi and pinched him good in the butt. His head sharply turned to her, although his expression betrayed nothing.

"Great play, Aoshi-sama! That was a wonderful catch!!" Misao said cheerfully.

"Misao…you’re not supposed to pinch people," he replied as he rubbed himself. "And not so hard…"

"But Soujirou says it’s OK. That it shows sportsmanship," she said knowingly.

"You’re supposed to give fellow players a pat, not a pinch."

"But, why? If it’s OK for a guy to slap another guy on the butt, then what’s the dif-- ….um, OK then," she said as she recoiled her hand and smacked him a hard one on the ass.

"Oh these uniforms are so cute!" she chirped as she skipped past him toward the water cooler.

"Oi, OI! We can’t celebrate just yet. We’re down one, remember. Time to hit, hit, hit!" Hiko growled and clapped his hands together, emphasizing the "hits."

Everyone bustled about, taking out their batting gear.

"All right, you baka players," Hiko said. "Soujirou, you got the lead-off spot. Enishi, you’re in the batter’s circle. Aoshi, you’re on deck. Sano, you got clean-up. Baka deshi, you’re after the tori."

"…And it’s the bottom of the first, no outs. The Lions lead with one. Hitting lead-off is the ‘Heavenly Bat’ Soujirou…." said the announcer.

"Oh, look, they’re going to bat now!" Kaoru shouted.

"Hai, and I hear that this guy has a perfect batting record. Nothing but home runs every time," Megumi answered.

"Really? Wow!" Kaoru replied.

Soujirou slipped on his batting gloves and looked toward Coach Souzou over at third base. Souzou gave several signals that Soujirou acknowledged with a nod. He then stepped up to the plate, dug his foot in the dirt, and focused on the pitcher. A sly smile appeared on his lips as the first pitch was thrown.

Immediately, Soujirou moved into a bunt position and gently punched the ball down.

"What the…I thought you said he hits home runs every time!! He’s bunting! You can’t hit a homerun if you bunt, even *I* know that!" Kaoru argued.

"Just watch," Megumi said smugly.

The catcher threw his mask off and scrambled for the ball. After taking a hold of it, he looked to first. Nothing. Second. Nothing. Third. Nothing.

"Where the hell do I throw??" He asked to the equally confused pitcher. The pitcher shrugged. "*I* dunno where he went!" he answered defensively.

"Home run!" Saitou announced as all eyes looked over to Soujirou drinking from the water cooler and receiving some praises from his fellow players.

"What the hell was that? That’s not fair!!" cried the catcher. "I didn’t even see him!"

The crowd clamored rowdily as a number 1 appeared on the scoreboard.

"See," Megumi grinned.

"Sou-chan, we love you!!!" screamed some of the fans in the stands. They held up banners that read, "Marry Me!" and "Sou #1"

Enishi then stepped out of the batter’s circle and headed toward the plate. He looked over at the coach and nodded just as Sou did.

"Green light," Enishi thought to himself. He knocked the dirt off of his cleats and scooped his bat over the plate a couple times before readying himself for the pitch. The pitcher wound up and fired. Just at that moment, Tomoe appeared before Enishi’s eyes.

"Oneesan??" he asked, his body frozen.

"Striiiike!" shouted the ump.

Enishi snapped back into reality. "She’s trying to tell me something," he thought.

The pitcher repeated his movement and there appeared Tomoe, once again.

"ONEESAN???" Enishi pleaded.

"Striiiike two!!" said Saitou.


"What are you telling me!!! What are you saying neechan???" Enishi asked as he reached out into the air.

"Damn. He’s doing it again," Sano said shaking his head.

"What’s he seeing?" asked Soujirou.

"I think he sees Tomoe," Sano replied.

The pitcher threw a third pitch and the same thing happened again.

"Strike three, you’re OUT!" Saitou bellowed.

"Oneeeesan! Oneeeeesan! " Enishi cried out, crumbling to the ground.

"Now that I think about it, Tomoe was always a Lions fan," Kenshin said to Sano and Soujirou.

"Aa…" Soujirou said with understanding.

"That’s pretty dick," Sano added.

"…And we have one down, bottom of the first. Up to bat is Okashira Shinomori…." echoed the announcer.

Aoshi walked calmly toward the batter’s box, tightening his gloves. He closed his eyes for a minute, and then looked over to the third base coach. He nodded, stepped into the box, swung his bat once and then held it up behind his head as he eyed the pitcher.

The pitcher shook of the first three signs of the catcher and finally nodded, agreeing to a sinker. He kicked his leg up, pulled his arm back, and fired.

Immediately a mass of calculations filled the onmitsu’s head, "Velocity at that degree…the wind’s speed of 15 mph…the curving of the ball creating an asymptote of….with the arm angle….got it, a sinker."

Aoshi swung and chopped the ball perfectly into the hole between the center and right fielders. The crowd goes wild as he runs over first base.

"Yay, Aoshi-sama!!!" Misao cheered. "And that’s another slap for me!" she thought with delight.

As Sano stepped up to the plate, Saitou gave him a sly, toothy grin.

"Bastard," Sano mumbled.

The pitcher threw the first ball, way off of the corner of the plate.

"Strike!" Saitou hollered.

Sano immediately stepped out of the batter’s box and faced Saitou. "What the hell was that? Are you blind, you bastard!?" he said, vehemently.

Saitou looked at him and replied calmly, "One more word out of you, punk, and you’re out of the game."

Sano bit his lip and glared at the ump. He stepped back up to the plate and readied himself.

"…And the pitch is set, he throws, and it’s another strike!" Okina said.

"Don’t worry, don’t worry. All you need is one pitch to hit," Sano calmed himself. "Just one."

The pitcher threw the third pitch and Sano immediately leaped back as the ball whizzed an inch away from Sano’s nose.

"Strike three! You’re out!" Saitou said as he gave the punching "out" sign.

"YAROU!!!" Sano boomed.

Saitou then gave the sign of ejection. Sano instinctively pounced on the ump saying, "Forget the damn candy bar, you’re a dead man!!!"

But unfortunately, Saitou moved out of the way quick enough to be avoided.

"Trying to hit an umpire?" he said. "Oh, that calls for a suspension! AND a fine!!!" Saitou said mockingly.

Just then, Hiko came charging out of the dugout to argue with ump. "That was NOT a strike! What the hell are you watching? Are you watching this game??"

The two men argued with their faces only an inch away from the other.

"Megumi-san, does that happen a lot?" Kaoru asked.

"Yea, it does. At least once every game," she replied.

"…And Sagara is ejected from the game!!! Oh the drama!! Looks like the relay the Weasels had going for them came out to be more destructive…for themselves!" the announcer said.

"Alright, Himura-san. It’s up to you. We’ve got two outs and we’re tied," Soujirou encouraged with a smile. "Ganbatte."

With a gulp, Kenshin took a bat from Yahiko and trudged onto the field. He looked over to Souzou just as the others had, and nodded to him, even though he didn’t have a clue to what any of that meant. He stood in the farthest corner of the batter’s box and watched the pitch.

"Strike one!" Saitou snarled.

"Himura, just keep your eye on the ball," Misao hollered.

He turned back to the pitcher. The pitcher repeated his routine and Kenshin watched the ball until it stopped in the catchers mitt.

"Time yourself and hit the ball, Himura!" Misao shouted again.

"…And we’re one on, two out, bottom of the first. Himura is down O and 2. Looks like we’re going to the second, tied, folks," Okina said.

"Alright. Now or never. Will to hit. Will to hit. I will NOT give up, there’s no reason for me too!" he commanded himself.

He glared at the pitcher, amber washing over his eyes. The pitcher gulped and wiped the sweat from his face. He bent over, nodded to the catcher and took a deep breath. He then looked over to first base as Aoshi danced back and forth, threatening a steal and then returning back to base. The pitcher licked his fingers and gripped the ball.

He set the pitch, wound up and released.

Aoshi ran.

"…And the runner goes, looks like a hit and run…" the announcer commented.

Sweat beads sprouted on Kenshin’s forehead. He gripped his bat, recoiled a bit and swung with a mighty roar. The wind from his swing caused hats to fly…

Himura stood there. Frozen. Not a muscle could move…he couldn’t believe what just had happened. A hush came over the crowd once again.

And then a cheer.

"Hey Kenshin, you’re supposed to run around the bases!!" Yahiko shouted.

"Hai, hai!" Kenshin said as he trotted along the dusty path. He made his way around first, then second, and third, waving his cap in the air and looking out into the stands. The crowd screamed uncontrollably as he finally stomped on home. The team ambushed him there with slaps and handshakes.

"…It’s a homer!! A two run shot over the centerfield wall!!" shouted Okina.

"Alright Himura!" Misao exclaimed. "I TOLD you to just go for it!"

"You have the title of the strongest for today, Battousai," said Aoshi.

"Way to go, Kenshin!" Sano said from the stands next to Kaoru and Megumi.

"Yay, Kenshin!" the two women screamed in unison.

"Not bad," Hiko said with a smirk as he watched from the dugout.

The crowd roared excitedly, louder than any other time that day. "Home run, Kenshin, home run, Kenshin…" the crowd began to chant.

"All right guys, that’s enough celebration. Let’s get more hits! This game isn’t over yet," Hiko commanded.

Everyone ran back into the dugout, but Kenshin stood there with a puzzled look on his face.

"The hell are you doing? Don’t just stand there!" Sano said, slapping Kenshin’s back for the billionth time.

"I thought you were ejected from the game?"

"Feh. Since when do *I* listen to Saitou? Besides, who’s gonna catch? All the good characters are all used up," he said with a smirk as he put on his catcher’s pads.

"Chotto... There’s more? I thought we won?"

Sano laughed at his confusion. "You’ve gotta be kidding. We haven’t even finished the first inning. We’ve got eight more innings to go…"

"Orooooo," Kenshin said right before he fainted.

*fuzz* *squiggles* *lines* *buzz*

Due to the nature of this odd, lame fic, we are unable to broadcast the rest of the game. Check ESPN for game scores and highlights.

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