Dec 1/07
As another year draws to a close and winter creeps in, it's time to sit back and reflect and get drunk and not do anything. Actually since we are soon approaching our final year to become an overnight success, hippiecritz are goin to make new records, buy some stupid t-shirts to sell to idiots and seriously plan our future, then do nothing.
P.S. We are still looking for a drummer. But we have ridiculously high standards and no ambition, so unless you are an amazing drummer, have your own studio and PA, drive a van that doesn't break down every 3 weeks and own a serious drug collection, fuck off.
June 9/07
Yes, I like to update our website every year or so whether it needs it or not. We recorded some new songs but you can't get them anymore. Thanks to Rax, Matt, Jordan, Justin, Shaebus, Jiminy, Brendo, Mark, Rich, Kayla, Gorthrax-the-Well Hung-Cyber-Leech and everyone else who helped us out on the tour. We learned a lot of things on this tour, like how handy tire irons are and how Canada sucks and it's much easier to drive to Vancouver than Winnipeg. To all the idiots who bought our new demo cd, this CD may be exchanged (with proof of purchase) for the upcoming slightly less shitty full length record or for pieces of duct tape with 'hippiecritz' written on them. Stay tuned this fall for the "THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT HIPPIECRIT" Reality T.V. Show/Audition/Music Video Extravaganza. Amen
December 7/06
Please refrain from drugging our bass player before the show, we have enough trouble keeping him sober as it is. Thank you. We've been busting our asses off in the studio for months recording and mixing our new CD which will be ready early next year. It's hard work but we know it will pay off in the quality of the final product. Actually, we haven't done anything yet.
September 20/06
All is quiet on the Western Front. There are changes afoot. Cross Canada Tour next Spring, God willing. Amen.
July 16/06
Hmm lesee, we got some new songs such as East Coast Roads, The Ballad of Leadbelly and Your Own Reality which will be on our brand new laser-disc if we ever get around to finishing our recordings. August will be relatively busy for us including a few shows with the venerable Ripcordz. As well, the world's largest punk rock festival in Salmo, BC
SCUMBALA August 11 & 12 with 15 to 20+ bands, some of which are even good! See ya there fuck heads.
March 19/06
ooof. 4 nights, 4 shows, 2 ambulances (not ours!) and a bruise that threatens to envelop entire planets, rock it. We have an article/interview in this month's Nerve Magazine whoop-dee-fuckin-doo. You can read it at
www.thenervemagazine.com if they ever manage to update their website.
March 2/06
Hippieshitz have reached the ripe old age of 3 years, a veritable senior citizen as far as shitty punk rock bands from Ki-lo-na go. Only 2 more years to go before we become an overnight success! Our new CD should be done in a month or 4, but before that we have a song coming out on Cum Sponge Records 7" Vinyl Compilation with The Tups, The Effigy and The Zombie Band from Hell. Show at the Well tomorrow night... oh how far we've come. Amen.
January 28/06
We hit the studio today (Musico in Kelowna) and recorded 2 new songs for our upcoming CD and 7". Mr. Awesome was fired from the band for being late and drunk, then promptly re-hired after giving the rest of the band blow jobs.
December 26/05
It's time for the Hippieshitz annual "Year in Review" where I sit on my ass and compile a collection of our reviews from the past year, so here they are!:
"Now, I've seen HippieCritz dozens of times and while in moments of sobriety they are one of the best punk acts out there hands down, it's a different story when they're trashed. Luckily, they were only half-trashed and their set, though I've heard the songs a million times, blew my brains out anyways. Punk rock at its finest. Go see HippieCritz next time they're near you. Fuck, seriously."
Sheldon, Rek Magazine
"There is a horrible punk band in my town called the hippy critz!..They suck!"
Local Scenester
"I think the Hippiecritz are the first truly punk rock act I seen since coming west. They are so punk that they often can't sound worth a damn, the bass player Roy has often been seen passed out BEFORE their set, playing barely able to stand on his own feets. Anthem songs like BOOZEHOUND are clever classic punk drinkin'songs, and then there's Captain America...a song regarding George W. The chorus goes like this "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck off!" That's too fockin funny!! Then there's Diarrhea Nosebleed, and God Has No Religion...very clever simple songs indeed. Their record label...is..guess what....MENTAL VOMIT RECORDS. However they are more than just funny drunk punks. I heard some punk kids tell me that singer HORKEN LUGIE was the first person in Kelowna to go out of their way to welcome them to their new home. And when I see them play to small but truly spirited crowds at the Alf House in Vancouver last July 15th, or at
the Elks Hall in Quesnel...I see these are guys who really care about the
punk kids...and that's why I thought so well of them. Their touring with THE EFFIGY this month all through Western Canada, so if you are in a town their comin thru...go see the show."
Joey Only, BC-IndyMedia
"More fun then cutting off your left hand with a pair of nail clippers."
Milo Baggins, The Grid
"...nobody bothered to stay past the hippiecritz's horrible performance for the "good" band... shows alot about our great music scene we have here."
Kelowna Live Music Critic
"The Crits are boarder line rock n' roll... more punk that anything.. but I swear
if they were in tune and the bass player was aware of what song they were playing, they could easily be passed off as the bastard son of The Forgotten Rebels and Green Day ( I mean that in the best way possible) [oh god]"
Power 104FM Listener
"bands like this are the worst thing to happen to music, especially local music"
Hippiecritz Website Visitor
"I had sex with all the hippiecritz. That gives me street cred."
Jiminy P. Intercourse
That's all folks!!! See you New Year's Eve for KaraokeCritz!
November 14/05
You aren't going to beleive this, but we are going to record some new songs. Show cuming up in Winbuck November 19 with Wantmoster from Nelson, and Les Taberfucks from Harrop; and Vernon on the 26th with The Rebel Spell from Vancouver, and Sound City Hooligans from Kamloops. We are working on getting an opening spot for Hilary Duff at Prospera Palce. We want to play a show in Kamloops sometime, maybe it won't be in a fucking church...
October 14/05
Due to circumstances beyond our control, as well as a severe lack of planning and professionalism, we regret to announce that hippieshitz will not appearing at the Oct 14 & 15 shows in Vancouver. We apolagize to the 4 people who were looking forward to us performing.
September 15/05
There's a new
photo gallery up featuring visual low-lights from the international blockbusting Get Fat & Fuck Tour 2005, as well as some misc. pictures that almost aren't a year old. Yeah, go to the show at the Well on Saturday and buy us some beer you fucking cheap skate assholes. We've been practicing the set 4 hours a day and rehersing our sarcastic stage banter in preparation for the amazing 60th hippieshitz show!
September 7/05
New links page done; now free of unfunny & misleading descriptions and outdated links. Hippieshitz next show is the CIRO Fundraiser, Sept 17 @ the Well. There's a shitload of bands playing, starting at 3pm, we're on around 6:30 I think. The average person should be able to drink approximately 11 beers in a 3.5 hour span. Will put up some new photos from the summer tour once I stop being homeless. Oh yeah there is a new recording called Live @ The Grid with almost 80 minutes of live music from Hippieshitz, The Tups & The Taberfucks. I think there's 5 or 6 left for sale, so buy them, chumps.
August 16/05
We had gone in search of the hippie dream. It turned out to be a lame fuck-around, a waste of time. Having become disillusioned with our former lifestyle and penchant for debauchery, the band has now decided to join a cult/commune in the Kootenays that worships a pancake with the shape of an eagle baked onto it. In other news, the first annual SCUMBALA was a huge success; a huge success in that the fuzz didn't show, we got paid $10 and no one was injured (severely).
July 21/05
Show listings are updated and now 15% more accurate. The Get Fat & Fuck Tour is well underway as we have just escaped Vancouver island. Hippiecritz, The Tups and Taberfucks are performing live on Thunderbird Radio tonight, don't ask me the frequency. I really wish I could change my underwear right about now but life's rough, y'know?
April 25/05
Oh, hi there my unloyal
[sic, ed.] readers. There is good show this Friday so go to it and stuff. This show will have a CASH BAR so you won't have to drink in the parking lot and pretend you are cool, you can drink inside and pretend you are cool. Oh by the way I was wondering if any of you losers out there have some photos of the hippieshatz you could email to mentalvomit@hotmail.com? I haven't put any new photos up since last June, even though I have some great shots of our European Festival Tour and various bloody debauchery. I cannot put them on the website because my scanner is broke and our photographer is in jail. K BYE!
April 5/05
Jesus Titty Fucking Christ, about time for some new news, eh? We are going on tour, we are recording a new album blah bladdy excitement blah sex blah rock 'n roll blah blah your mom. In other news, Hippiecritz have just been awarded the prestigious "Best Rock Band Ever Award" as voted on by the members of Hippiecritz. We would like thank oursleves for being such a promising band and for recognizing the special talent and timeless musicianship that goes into everything the Hippiecritz create. In the near future the band plans to sleep in our own vomit then tour Nunavut extensively.
January 21/05
Hey if anyone has a scrap of web space and would like to host this site please email mentalvomit@hotmail.com. The entire site is under 3MB and receives about 10 to 15 visitors per year. We wrote a new song, it doesn't have a name yet but it has 3 chords and a cowbell solo. We're playing a show in Quesnel tomorrow! Are we crazy? No, just mildly retarded. cheers.
December 22/04
Merry consume-mass once again. Gots some shows cuming up next year and possibly an exclusive New Year's Eve jamboree to be held at a top secret location. We need to make some more recordings so someone give us $2000. thanks. Spring/Summer BC/Alborta+? tour in the works. One of these years I may get around to making a merch page so people could actually buy our CDs and BrAND clothing, but don't hold your breath. salut.
November 24/04
... crickets...
September 27/04
Recorded a new song, "Show Me Some Leg", that will be ready for massive radio play shortly. The split 7" vinyl with the Tups is currently being manufactured by chinese child labourers and should be available in time for your consume-mass gift lists. Hippieshitz are weaseling our way onto the bill for a big show in Vernon, as of yet unconfirmed, stay tuned. In other news, some of the Hippieshits members have recently been evicted so if any of you skrags out there in Kelowna are looking for a few roommates that play crappy loud music late at night, drink constantly, break stuff, never clean up and rarely bathe, please let us know! THANX!
August 23/04
We are releasing a new 7 song CD at the show on August 31st. These are new recordings of songs not on our 11 song CD. Also we will be releasing a split 7" vinyl with The Tups in the near future. In other news, I forgot my sunglasses in Nelson and nearly quit the band because those were my rock-star sunglasses.
-Max
August 17/04
R.I.P. The Cobalt
July 19/04
Added some photos from the tour in June, and a few new shows in the works... Also there is a new mp3 of
Capitalist Plague available for download.
July 08/04
Yeah our CD is done, it's $5 and you can get it at Vintageous on Water Street but they're going fast and we are too lazy and poor to make more copies, so act fast. Our tour was hugely succesful, selling over 7,000 cd's, packing every venue we played and we had to beat off numerous major record label scouts with a broken 40 oz beer bottle. Next tour I need to remember to bring a blanket though... Special thanks to Rich Gold Airlines for piloting our luxury tour jet.
June 21/04
We are living in a van... down by the river. Shows updated, go to shows page.
June 18/04
hippiecritz are on tour... nelson june 18, lethbridge june 19, medicine hat? june 20?, winnepeg june 24, clear lake june 25, edmonton june 26!
June 12/04
Finished recording 11 song CD.
May 26/04
Hiydee Ho! Now that The Warehouse is up and running downtown Kelowna finally has a decent venue that'll host some good bands rather than the yuppie turd-herder music that seems to pervade these parts. There's a few pics from the last show at The Warehouse in the gallery. The Hippieshitz CD should be done in another week or two or three then in June we're going for a tour eastward through the desolate wastelands known as the prairies YEAYAH!
May 16/04
GO TO THE SHOW THIS FRIDAY, otherwise you won't be cool, and for christ's sake, you wanna be fucking cool, don't you? This show is gunna rock yer socks off, there will be some great bands playing great music and also the HippieCritz will be playing. FRIDAY MAY 21, 460 Lawrence (across the street from the Blue Gator) 8 p.m. ONLY $4.99 TO GET IN!!!!!
May 2/04
HippieCritz played a gig at a housewarming party in vernon. We were the headliners! note to self " the next time someone asks us to headline a house party dont!" because the cops ALLWAYS SHOW UP! Just like the house party in winbuck. In vernon (the asshole of the okanagan) we had 8 cops and the freaking mayor showed up to make sure that hippiecritz couldnt play. Fuck you Sean Harvey. Vote Sean Harvey if you want to see your neighbourhood animals and childern raped by this power trip'n asshole. I mean, come on, this dude rides around in a pig-mobile all saturday night telling people to "get an eductation" and laughing in people's faces while his private goon squad sucks his dick and tries to intimidate drunk people. welcome to redneck town.
In other news, we've finally begun recording our 16 song cd and it WILL be released in about 1 or 5 weeks. Also we are getting into the logo-mongering business and gots some t-shirts made. We werkin on setting up an awesome show downtown kelowna May 21... stay tuned. eat a water melon.
April 5/04
Next show at Knights of Columbus hall this Friday, April 9. The Brat Attack are here all the way from Winterpeg and they kick ass so check em out. Also, some plaid clad skids, smelly hippies and miscillaneous street skrags will be playing a Kurt Kobain tribute. Apparently this was some famous guy who killed himself because he had a stomach ache and they started playing his songs at K-Mart, or something. A few new pics from last Vernon show posted.
-max prophet
March 30/04
Yeah so there's a new MP3 of one of our newer songs so go download it from the musak page or die. A two-fisted beer cheer goes out to Mark Thing for doing the recording. It turned out nicely except we were all disturbed to discover that Mr. Awesome prefers to record naked. Next show is April 1st (afternoon) at the OUC North Campus beer gardens so make sure you down at least 8 beers before we play and we will rock your tommy-stinkfinger socks off. I was gunna put up some new photos but that takes time and shit and I have a lot of sleeping and scratching my ass to do. cheers.
-max prophet
March 16/04
nothing happened today. some new shows TBA soon. Check out the latest issue of Madible Claw magazine (available at Vinatgeous on water st) it now comes with a kick ass compilation CD with songs from Anger Management, The Tups, Sugar Coated Killers, Hippieshitz and others. Next show at Sneakers Pub (Vernon) Thursday March 18 5 bands 4 bucks CHEAP BOOZE PRIZES BELLY DANCERS AND CIRCUS MIDGET ACROBATS!!!
-max prophet
Feb 22/04We played a show in vernon last wensday. It was in a barn in the middle of nowhere. We stored all our gear in a horse stall. haha. it was great. I honked twice outside when I was slaming whiskey. glug, glug. wensday night heroes were fucking rad! oi punk good times. we played another show two days later at knights of columbus hall in rutland..of ..all..places. It actually was a great show all the bands played really well. by that time I had been drinking steadly for the last three days, I was drunk, smelly and I didnt care, cuz all my friends were there. The pigs showed up right after our set was finished. I had to chuck my wine in the bushes. chody from vernon got busted. $150 dollar open booze fine. owch! anyway quick plug, I met a dude that is going to record us, ya ya I know you've heard that before, but I think we are actaully going to get something on cd. we are recording in a basement. yay'er! I wrote a country song that I might be recording today,its called (your mom!) no its actually called Drinking by the Toi-oi-oi-let! yet another drinking song, do we see a pattern here! anyway thats the new newz. tell your mom I said hey!
-horken mcLugee
Feb 3/04OUC RADIO PRESENTS friday13th bash @the Well.featuring: Ryhmes with regina,anger management, dispoable pop, aku. go there at 8:00pm but the doors open at 2pm. cheap drinks, $5 @ the door, or available at vintageuos.
Some tentative shows coming up, few new songs added to lyrics page and horken lugee smells like swass.
Jan 23/04At about 7:30, Hippie Critz had a sucessful practice and it was AWESOME. After the practice, the band went to Maxi pads. We got DRUNK. Mr Awesome got better on the bass guitar. the rest of the band got worse. Quick plug; A show at the Creekside Theatre on Jan. 24, at 6:30 for 5 Dollars. No
Bullshit!this show is in Winfield(winfuck)peace love rowdyness.ya rymes with regina are playing another show at the WEll friday 13th, feb, w/angermangement, be there.tonight we are living the dream,getting drunk like rock stars and playing musuck until we drop.\m/ \m/ devil horns horkenMcLugee
last note: underpants go underneath you pants
01-15-04the newest newz of the newz. we have only jammed once as a band in the last 2 months. we got shows one lined up after another, but as long as the crowd is drunker than we are, the better we sound. Black label supreme, new favorite. dosnt go well with garlic and peanutbutter sandwitches though. drank a lot of booze last night let's just face it. I hate passing out drunk and waking up wasted!
-horken mcLugee
12-17-03Merry Consume-mass to you all. Not much happening til next year i'd wager, found a new practice spot & bassist though. Also here are some carefully chosen reviews of 'No Clean Pants' from garageband.com that we will include in our major-label-cocksucking-promotional-package:
wow man!
hahahaha that song made me laugh... how can you do a song like that?? Where is the love for music and punk?? Tha's a shame brother... you better do another thing or take this seriously...
- purelife
Union City, New Jersey
vocals suck
dude, the vocals suck. actually take some time and go get singing lessons. also bring up the volume on the instruments. the butt-rock solo is very horribly placed.
- Significants
Bakersfield, California
What did he just say?
did he just say "clean your pants"? this seems to be a poorly-worded, punk/ska? social protest song. it just doesn't have the potential that other protest songs have. "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer," is a great lyric however, but i just didn't feel this song. no offense to the band, but it just wasn't my cup of tea. and the band asked for comments on a trumpet, but i did not hear one. so either it's poorly mixed or clearly a mistake.
Special Award: Stupidest Song I've Ever Heard
- callmeeddie
Champaign, Illinois
hmmmm....
all i can say is ....wtf?
- oncebefore
Plano, Texas
11-26-03Put some photos up finally. Whoop-dee-do. We're getting evicted from our jam space and our bass player quit. Recording CD soon anyway! (heard that before, eh?).
Note to self: do not drink colt 45 and gatorade and rum in the same evening.
10-22-03The bad news: we couldn't play some of the shows we
wanted to (surprise, surprise) and studio recording has been delayed a
wee bit. The good news: we are far too lazy to play all those shows, and we'll be recording a full album instead of just a few songs. In other news, my computer blew up. I suspect sabotage.
10-07-03Nelson is a fun place. I'd move there if i wasn't so
lazy and addicted to Macdonald's meal worm burgers and Starbuck's
generic coffee experience. We will be recording some new songs this
weekend and perhaps even making some CD's in the near future. This is
good news because, as hardcore hippieshitz fans would know, our
Camel-Toe Demo is discontinued due to the fact Wal-Mart refused to stock
it.
09-28-03Back Off! compilation CD is available from
Grasshopper
Music.
If you do not buy this CD you are an idiot, aren't opposed
to killing babies and watch MuchMusic religiously. All revenues from the
sale of this CD are split equally between
The David
Suzuki Foundation and
The Western Canada Wilderness Commitee. I
made a T-shirt but then lost it.
09-24-03Obligatory band website created. Next show coming up
Friday Sept. 26 at the Cobalt. My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Interview with Joey Starbucks for Leviathan Magazine.
