Woke up around 5:15 today. Damn you Evanescence and your angsty yet energetic songs...but I love you. Shyeah, after playing that cd for 12+ hours straight, it just became too much for me. I just sat in bed and stared at things. Man, felt so apathetic. I finally snapped out of it and changed it to "Pure Snow."

Mom says their lyrics are like my poetry. Right Mom.... But yes, the Tourniquet was a very nice gothic touch. No really, it was.

I have a party to go to today (big surprise.) It's my Auntie Joy's baby girl's baptism reception. No, I'm not going to the baptism (I guess.) I'm going to the reception. I'm going with my grandparents cuz my parents are going to an aniversary dinner with their friends. Shyeah, isn't that just great? Actually, the reception (it's at Auntie Joy's house) will be pretty fun. Hahahaha...video games. Last time, we played Bust a Groove until 3 am. Yes yes...Filipino parties last a long time. At least the ones here do.

Oh, and bye to Kimiko cuz she's leaving for Germany at 1. *coughsauerkrautcough* Shyeah, have fun with los alémanes. Me hablo espańol. Pero...Icht Nict Mein Hand.

In about an hour, I set off for my daily jog...except the face it hasn't been daily. More like 4-daily. I jogged for 40 mins on Monday and my body hurt like hell for the rest of the week. Sam (at drama class) told me "yeah, if you're not a jogger you're supposed to start small or else you're body's gonna ache." Thanks Sam, wish you told me that earlier. But now it doesn't hurt anymore, and I will jog again today. Booyaka!

OMG!!!! IT'S A MIRACLE!!! Kimiko has risen from the dead of the wired!!!! Yes, my friends, she is finally blogging.

Finished my poetry journal, which I still have to send to Mai. I can't have it at home. It would be prey to my dear mother's eyes. It's called Zero Hour, and it's spifftacular. It's not as pretty as the one I did last year (Parallel Dreams.) This one was kinda rushed cuz I didn't want my Mom to see it. She's freak out if she saw some certain poems. I took some off of Quill Driving. Instead of using artwork, I burned a cd with songs that were relevant to the poems. I went hardcore with it...made the label, the back, the sides, the front and the inside insert. Shyeah, more than Kimiko and I did with her cds. Hehe. It's pretty cool. Next year, I'll go all out with art and music. Booyaka!

Went out to lunch with my mom and auntie Donna. I had two mochas, whew. They were very good though.

I loooooooove this song!!!! Go download it!!! I heard it at work on my boss' mix. They're a pretty old group and they sound alright. They sung that song, "Lovefool." You know...."Love me love me, say that you love me. Need me need me, say that you need me." *cough* shyeah, but this song kicks. I like their more rock-y ones, like "Starter" and "My Favourite Game."

Went to Helen's birthday party. It was really fun. Lin-sama, Kimiko, Saiyuki, Mai, D, Possum, Christian, Simoney, Becca, and Kelilah were there. I remember Simoney and I were standing in a bathtub that was outside. We were spinning around, it was really fun. I spent some time with my gf, which was very good. Mai dropped rosepetals on us...shyeah. It was interesting, because she snuggled me. It was very sweet, but it surprised me because she never seemed to be the touchy-feely person. *sighs* I still don't know where our relationship stands, so I'll call her after I help my Mom water the plants.

We watched a bunch of movies. I saw a few. Watched The Ring again, and a few people got freaked out. Kimiko and I laughed at a few parts. Saw Empire Records, hence the subject of the blog. Yes, Lucas kept on saying "Damn the man." It's destined to be the repetitive phrase next school year. I would so be Marcus. Anyways, saw part of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. I'm gonna get that soundtrack. The Faculty...the making out in the end ruined it for me. Saw most of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure...shyeah, the first one. I like the second one better.

Went jogging this morning, and now my thighs ache. I jogged/walked for about 40 mins. Shyeah, that was great. Mom didn't believe me when I said I would go jogging every morning. Tsk tsk.

Well, now I must help my mother water the plants. See ya!

Mega Bass

Friday, June 13, 10:51pm
"Children" by 4 Clubbers

Ah yes...it feels like its been so long since I've listened to some good, heartening techno/trance/rave. I went all out today. I played t/t/r at home, at work, in the car, etc. It makes me feel like I'm falling through the sky and I just keep on falling... T/t/r has always rouched something within me since the first time my uncles introduced me to it. I've seemed to have forgotten how emancipating the feeling of t/t/r gives me. But it's back, and I feel cleansed.

Sold books back at school. Damn, did that take a long time. I hung around for a few hours, then I decided to go get coffee, enjoy the nice weather, and write some poetry. Well, after I got my coffee, I called up one of my friends (Slauro) to see how she wass doing. I plopped myself on a bench outside and it started raining. So I pulled out my umbrella and just sat there the whole hour it rained, talking to Slauro with only an umbrella to shield me. And it rained hard too. When I finally got up after the rain had stopped, my back was soaking wet. Yep, sun rain sun rain sun rain...typical Oregon weather.

Went driving around again, my parents enjoyed it, as did I. We ate dinner at a Vietnamese restaraunt. They started to teach me Tagalog, finally. Mom had just realized that I actually understood what they were saying. Well shyeah...I've lived with them for 16 years -_-;; But anyways, so they started teaching words and phrases. It's nice. Sa an ang mga bulaklák? Dude...I hope I wrote that correctly.

Took Helen and Kimiko out for lunch Filipino style. I ordered adobo and 2 halo-halo. They liked the adobo a lot, even Kimiko, who hates rice. "Yeah, but it's rice covered in meat stuff..." riiight Kimiko. She thought the halo-halo was too sweet, Helen thought it was interesting, and I ate all of mine. Hehe. Then we kicked it at the library for a while. We partly read a weird comic about a pot or something. It was...shyeah. It was just wrong...with the booms, and the old man and little girl, "I think I am a woman!" *shakes head*

Then Helen left, I gave Travis a call. He didn't answer. He called me later and left a message. Apparently he was at work and couldn't answer. That's understandable =)

So Kimiko and I went to EB. We met a new guy named Colin. Shyeah, he was very very nice. We must give a birthday card to this boy.

Then we went to see The Pianist. I thought it was pretty good. Shyeah, it was a bit sad, but it lightens up in the end. I love Iorek!!! (however you spell it) He's the guy that started planning the retaliation. Whee~! I loooove him!!! I want to practice piano so badly right now. Alas, I have finals to study for.

We saw Flo there at the snack bar. She came over and said hi, so Kimiko and I did the "oooooooooohhh!" + back away thing. Yes.

I was going up down the escalator when I saw this guy with the prettiest eyes. I was like "...wow" and we kept on looking at each other as I walked on to wherever I was going. I told Kimiko and she said "Yeah, he's staring at you too..." And I sighed. So then she persuaded me to go find him, which we did.

Well, we ended up sitting down with him (Robert) and his friend (Josh) in the food court. We renamed Robert "Touya" (peach blossom.) He was telling us how he didn't see many brown chicks in the south and shiznit, cuz that's primarily where he was from. To keep it short, he ended up as a hhhhhhhhhhloser!!! Here's why-

1. He said he mainly met chicks at the mall
2. He wasn't in school.
3. He didn't play any sports
4. or video games
5. Didn't read comics either, pity
6. did nothing really
7. All he did was party?

No, he lacked the wang. Perhaps literally. Hehe. At least Josh had a PS2 and knew some gaming shiznit, as well as give us definite answers. He seemed to have more of a life than Touya. Yes, Josh has more brownie points than Touya. As a conclusion, Touya gave us his cell number, saying "well, you girls still are a bit young, but here's my number. Call me up and maybe you can come over and I'll show you other things than video games and comics." Oooohhh...he so does not know us. Foolish knave. He was only 3 years older than us. He did have pretty eyes though. Damn...did he have pretty eyes.

I gave him the URL to this blog, but apparently he doesn't have the wired either. Psh. As Kimiko said, "that was a waste of time...times 2."

Just finished my Graphic Design Final, so I'm rocking out to my Meteora cd. Hehe, rocking out. That lacked the wang. Cualquier...Anyways, the Graphic Design Final was really easy. Wanna see what I did? Here's the first project, a cover for the graphic design course. Here's the the second project, something on shapes. Shyeah, I have history next.

I studied for my history final last night w/ Kimiko and Christian. Shyeah, I'm not too worried about it. I just hope I remember the geography alright.

It's time to change my blog layout.

This song pulls something within me into the open air and lets it breathe. Shyeah, it's a weird analogy, but it's true. This song is probably one of my favorites by this group. A lot of their songs remind me of rain...the way their melody and tencho harmonies pour down all at once like a storm.

Saw the Pacco float on TV during the Rose Fest this morning. My mom was talking to Uncle Jet later, apparently the float overheated and it had to be towed all the way to the end. Another float overheated and had to be towed also, but I'm not sure which one. The PACCO float turned out to be very pretty though, maybe I can find some pics of it later.

I studied today, but damn, it was so hot. I fell asleep on the kitchen table right after I finished some flashcards for my H English class. So, I slept there for about an hour and then moved to my futon in my room (I only pull it out to flatten it in when I feel like it.) I slept until about 10, then practiced piano for an hour+ (I have a piano party tommorow.) Now it doesn't feel like one am. Ah well, what else to expect?

Starting a webcomic called "Pi-man." Shyeah, it's going to be interesting. We'll see how it goes, the ness isn't concrete yet.

Got the Matrix Reloaded sountrack a few days ago. It's alright, I like the first movie's soundtrack better. This soundtrack comes with 2 cds. The first one has 12 songs and the second one has, I think, 4. They should've put all the songs in one. But whatever. Anyways, the first cd has the actual songs and the second is the instrumental themes. I guess it's a good way to organize it.

Today, I wondered about my blog...how if more people were reading it, would I change the things I say to suit their perspectives? Probably not. I know a few people who change what they say so they don't endanger relationships, which is understandable. But still...I don't really know the answer I guess. If my girlfriend went through my blog, would I be nervous or embaressed that she might read something? To tell you the truth- maybe. But I still wouldn't change the things I say on this site to suit what others think of me. At least, I hope not.

Speaking of my gf, I really need to talk to her. But I haven't gotten to, I keep on hesitating. Why? I'm really not sure. When I'm away from her, I question her feelings about me. When I'm with her, our relationship feels okay. Ay nako...I can't procrastinate about this.

The subject is from the song "Twentieth Century Fox" by the Doors. It's a fairly old song and not one of my favored. I heard it today during work, and I couldn't think of a subject for this blog.

Wow, I haven't blogged in more than a week. So much has happened. Too much.

Last night, I helped with the Philippines float for the Rose Festival. It's for PACCO (Philippine American Chamber of Commerce of Oregon.) It will be the first time a float representing the Filipino community will be in the Rose fest, so it's somewhat a big deal. It looks really cool though. I was there from 6:30 to 10, and it was pretty fun. We were also in the same area as the Vietnamese and Korean floats. The Vietnamese float looks really cool, but they didn't go as hardcore as us. We stuffed carnations and irises in those damn 3000+ viles. I love flowers muchly, but as Charlie said, "if I see another flower in the next year, I'm going to kick it." Here are some pictures of the model.

I talked to a guy that I had known on AIM for 3 years. Shyeah, I sneaked on AIM for about 30 mins to see how everyone was doing and to let them know that I wasn't dead. It was nice.

The subject for today is from my Judaism Study Class (Religion.) We were doing evaluations and one of the questions were "what surprised you about this class?" I was going to say "the prevaded talks about sex rituals from Dr. Sheila," but then I felt it wasn't graceful enough. So I said, out loud, "what's another word for sex?" People looked up and laughed, and we tried...very hard...to find an appropriate word for sex. I think I used the phrase "Baal worship" but then Miki put "sex" in blue underneath. Shyeah, it was entertaining.

Sitting in the computer lab again. With nothing to do. Oh! I finally scanned a pic of me and some of my friends! Booyaka! We took it at Uwajimaya yesterday.

(bottom left to right)
Me, Kimiko/Sarah, Lindsay.
(top left to right)
Mai/Charlotte, Saiyuki/Stephanie, Helen

Risa played this song for her devotional yesterday. She orignally was going to play "Nobody's Fool" by Evanescence, but she forgot the cd. I had this song, as well as a few others, but I like this song more. So she used it, cuz she liked it a lot too.

Anyways, I'm in my Graphic Design class and it's lacking wang. I have absolutely nothing to do. So that's why I'm here. I finished pretty much everything.

I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror. Shyeah, my black hair still shocks me, even though it's my natural color. I've highlighted it and dyed it for 4 years, so it feels really weird to have it back to how it was. The blue ends aren't really visible right now, but I'm waiting for it to fade. Hehe. I don't know, I felt really gothic and dark and shiznit. So I put on some preppy clothes (that aren't too preppy) to brighten it up. It didn't help to have "Lies" by Evanescence in the background playing. Shyeah, today is that-kind-of-song day.

Booyaka! Got my hair dyed today. It's back to it's natural color (black), but with blue tips. Shyeah, it's pretty spiff. But the blue's really dark and subtle, so it'll come out better as it fades. Shyeah, it took 4 freaking hours.

Lindsay was mad at me this morning. At first, it was confusing why cuz she talked really fast and I only caught a few words like "Sarah told me" "Jason" "John Luke" "afraid to tell" "bisexual." Then I started to understand, but she promptly said "you're so mean!" right after. "Why? How am I mean?" I asked her, and I guess it's cuz I never told her I was bi. That, and that no one told her about who I was going out with. Ay nako...Sorry Lin-sama. Though you don't read my blog.

Lunch was happy today, though I don't recall why. It was just full of happiness.

That's pretty much anything that I can remember. I think it's all the scents of the stuff my hairstylist put in my hair. *sniff sniff* Shyeah, I think it is.

I don't think this is the same Jewel that sung "Hands." Definitely don't think it is. I really like the song, you can click this link to download it. Do it, do it now.

Most of the day I played Neopets because I was so fucking bored. I used to play it a looong time ago, but got too busy and lost interest. But then I started playing again a few days ago. Neomail me or something. My sn is l337_hisui. Hehe.

Abby was telling me how James looks like Gohan now because he has glasses. Now she thinks he's really cute. Let's see...Jake has his hair and James has his glasses, combine them together- and you get Gohan! Except, w/o the super powers. Abby squealed in delight. I just laughed. I used to have a huge ass crush on James (9 years.)

Talked to Slauro, she has another bf. His name is Chris. Dude, Abby and I will have so much fun making fun of him. Apparently, they've been going out for 2 months, about the same length I've been going out with my girl. Shyeah, Slauro and I haven't talked for that period of time, so that's probably why we missed a bunch of shiznit about each other's lives. Like I said before, we've been damn busy.

Added a little profile thingy. Now you know that much more about me. Wow. Added comments also. Hope it works well.

The subject is from a shirt I have. I got it at the Sandy Mountain Fest a few years ago. It's greenish-grey. It makes me happy.

It took forever to d/l this song because most of the songs weren't complete or something, and I didn't really like the live version. But I'm happy now =) Abby calls it "angry chick music". At least, I think it's Abby.

Dad brought Krispy Kremes to my work today. So sweet of him, my co-workers thought so too. I shared (hey, I'm not greedy.) Though the other day, he came in and told me he was going to Home Depot. Shyeah, that was kinda embarressing, and kinda unecessary. But only Ben was there, and he understands. Crazy-smart-ass-tall Ben. He has a cat. He would.

Called my girlfriend because she left school early on Friday, and I thought I would drop her a line. You know that silence? The one that kind of leaves you hanging on the phone, and it makes you really sleepy or really irritated? Shyeah, it was there for quite a while. It was making me sleepy, and just a tad bit irked. I don't know if it's a good sign or a bad sign, because sometimes it can be actually quite pleasant in relationships. You know, they call it the "pleasant silence" sometimes. She said she was gonna go, I told her I'd cry if she did. She said I wouldn't. I asked her "how do you know?" and she told me "I just do." I laughed softly, knowing she would hang up. She hung up. I cried.

God, I love her so much. I don't really know if she understands that. I don't know if others understand that. I don't know if you understand that. I haven't taken her out yet in the almost-2 months we've been going out because we're so damn busy. And that's not a rationalization either.

Shyeah, just woke up. I slept early cuz I was getting really really bad cramps *cough*

Gabriel/Gabo emailed back! Yayness! According to the the email header, he emailed about an hour ago. They're in Arizona, and it's been really busy lately.

Bwaaah...I have a test in physics tommorow. I haven't studied yet. Meh. Thank god for notecards =) That also reminds me I have to do mi proyecto por classe de Espanol that was due two days ago. Arghness!

This song always makes me think of Andrew...all because of that day it snowed and school closed. So I was in my room, looking at the snow falling outside and talking to Andrew while I heard this song. Shyeah, I do want him...not in a sexual manner...but just to talk to. But there's always that risk...that damn risk...

The subject pretains to Honors English class. Ya know, you write a story and think it kicks the serious cheesecake. But then you turn it in, wait a month, and get it back WITH ALL THESE FREAKING RED MARKS ALL OVER IT!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! It drives me insane, though the corrections really do help. Shyeah, we just got back our memoirs and I did mine on blogging. The central focus wasn't too sure...shyeah, I need to fix that.

Drove on the freeway today. Whoo~! It was spifftacular. The ride went quite smoothly. Hehe, can't wait to drive on it again.

Saw The Matrix Reloaded with Kimiko, and I cosplayed as Trinity, of course. Even though it is a little late...Anyways! It was alright. To tell you the truth, I couldn't expect anything better than the original Matrix, but it was pretty good compared to other movie sequels out there. When Kimiko and I were waiting, we heard a couple talking. The woman said there was too much love, the man said there was too much action. Shyeah, it's called "balance" folks. I love Keanu Reeve's hair...yes, yes I do. OMG!!! I looooove the oracle-bouncer guy!!! *drools*. But shyeah.

They showed the preview for Jason vs Freddy. The wang was teh lack. The guy behind us said "now who wouldn't want to see that movie?" and Kimiko & I raised our hands. Yes, people laughed.

The subject comes from another couple who were pseudo-making out while they were walking out of the theatre as Kimiko & I waited for the 7:30 showing. The guy was like "...you just punched my ear!" and we laughed. Yes, laughter.

I want to run...I want to run so badly. It's been so long since this sensation broke within me- that feeling of the desire of emancipation. I just want to run, I don't care where I go...I don't care what happens...I just want to run- the feeling of the wind tangling in my hair, the breathlessness of intense heartbeats, the heat rushing through my body in the cold air...I want it. I want the cartharsis of the city street lights beaming down on my figure, crisp breeze through my nostrils, the sound of my deep breathes in the still night...I want to run so fast and strong that I fall to my knees red and crying, letting everything go...just for a moment...please...just for a moment...let me go...

Alas, I cannot. My parents would freak.

So here I am, at my desk and computer, listening to "My Immortal." I want it to snow. I miss Andrew. But if I bring him back, I bring back my past...twisted into a hurtful future. But I miss him. I miss confiding in him...Damn it...I hate him...I hate him so much...He understood me...he knew...I felt so safe with him. Why did he have to turn away? Why did he betray me? Did he betray me? Or did I just betray myself...I was such a fool. I guess I still am. We're all fools, aren't we?...But I wonder...because he's not the same anymore, and neither am I.

The psychological noise finally came through again...so much like the Static.

I love you Stephanie, so much...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...

I cosplayed as Trinity from The Matrix today in celebration of the movie in theaters (though it came out last night.) Shyeah, it was spiff. Rin's after my sunglasses though =/ They kick ass cuz the reflect. Walked around downtown. Some people realized who I was, some didn't. I went to EB and saw a guy sitting outside with The Matrix video game and guide. I asked him if he saw the movie. The fool replied that he only got the game. Loser. Hehe, I also had a plastic spoon I could bend with my thumb and say "there is no spoon." Emerril threw it at me, and I dodged it- like a bullet! (bwahahaha) It was great.

Oh shyeah! And yesterday (I can't believe I forgot,) I saw a guy that cosplayed as Neo when I was crossing the road at the corner of my highschool. Whee~! He didn't look exactly like Keanu Reeve's ness, but he was pretty damn close. When I passed him, I almost fell to the floor. Damnit...I should've glomped him or something...packed him up...carried him home...tied him to my bed...*cough*

I won't get to see The Matrix 2 until this Saturday =( Too busy. Meh. I have dance program kinda thing tommorow, and I have to work on Saturday.

The subject...ummm...shyeah. Kimiko's deodorant smelled really good. 'Nuff said.

Tried to add comments with enetation, but it just didn't work out for me. But thanks to Ken for giving me the URL.

Poetry Slam was today during lunch. It was really fun, I enjoyed it. I read two of my poems: Tribute to Sappho and In A Name. A lot of people like "A Tribute to Sappho" a lot, especially my peers and English teachers. I only chose "In A Name" cuz I picked it out of my poetry pile randomly.

Ay nako...everything feels like it's in one big blur. It's a mixture of jealousy, anger, confusion, paranoia. Shyeah, a lot of negative energy swarming within me right now. Ah well, maybe it'll pass overnight. I can only guess where it came from, but I don't know if it would be wise to say. 3 words...Tribute to Sappho... There's your hint, good luck.

Oh yeah! New layout! Did ya notice? That's what I thought. My friend, Christian, drew it. I have to find her art site so I can link it later.