WHO AM I?

     The devotee whose mind is ripe must now turn his attention towards himself. He must first be fully aware of the real nature of his own existence,before trying to Realize the Truth behind all Creation. We often say 'I'' did that,but very few of us know the Real 'I'. Who am I? Whence am I? Am I the gross physical body? Have I no separate existence apart from the physical body? Such thoughts often arise seeking an answer from us.

     Am 'I' the physical body? No,I am not; I am something higher and other than the physical body. When the body is tired and lethargic,I have often brought to bear upon it the pressure of my will and compelled it to perform the allotted task. Attracted by the flavour of a delicious dish,when the palate tries to overstep its limits,I have often checked it and kept it within desired limits. So long as we know that we are the masters of the body and not its slaves and assert our mastery over the same,it obeys us and serves us properly as our vehicle. If we are ourselves the body,the question of exercising any control over the same would not arise at all and the body would go its own way unchecked. Having often exercised control over the movements of the body and made it conform to our will,we must necessarily come to the conclusion that we are something other than the body controlling and guiding the same from within.

     There is also one other way of knowing that we are not the body. For instance,in our dreams we sometimes go through bitter experiences,such as falling from great heights and getting our limbs broken etc.,and the whole thing appears very real. We see the blood gushing out and experience the attendant physical pain also. But, the moment we wake up,we at once realize,with the feeling of great self assurance and relief ,that the whole thing was,after all ,a mere dream. The body is completely in-tact and not even a scratch is to be found on it. Further,in our dreams we often find ourselves travelling long distances on land,sea and air. But on waking up,we find our boy lying on the bed like a log. It had not moved anywhere else. These dream experiences also go to prove that we are not the body but that we are some entity working from within,using it as an overcoat.

     If 'I' am not the body,then what am I? One may say that I am the mind. But even this,I am not .Experience shows that I am something higher and other than the mind. In fact,I have often exercised my control over the same. When the mind is confronted with two alternatives,one exerting great sense attraction and the other appealing to the sense of high spiritual values,it would fascinated by the powerful sense attraction,naturally prefer the first alternative. But a spiritually inclined person would not allow the mind to go its own way. He would impressupon it the futility of pursuing fleeting sense attractions and the immense merit that would be accruing by submitting to high spiritual values. The mind recognises its master in him and obeys him accordingly. If I am the mind itself,there can be no question of my exercising any control over the same. But the fact that I have often exercised control shows that I am something superior to it.

     If 'I' am not the body and the mind,then what am 'I'? Am 'I' the intellect? No,I cannot be the intellect even. In deep sleep the senses ,the mind and the intellect go to rest. There is cessation of their activity and all awareness about them melts away. Despite the absence of such awareness it cannot be said that I was not existing then. I must have existed even through the deep sleep. The same 'I' that went to sleep yesterday night woke up this morning and continues to be the same. Even though I may not be aware of my existence during deep sleep,I must certainly have existed without any break ;for as soon as I wake up I am able to recollect the happiness experienced in deep sleep, however faintly it may be. I must have been present even during the deep sleep state to experience the happiness. Further,there is a continuity of consciousness,running right through my childhood,adolescence and old age. We often say 'My body','My mind','My intellect' etc.,whenever have an occasion to refer to them. This shows that we are separate from them,they being our appurtenances.

     If 'I' am not the body, the mind and the Intellect, then what am 'I'? I am some entity higher and other than the body, mind and intellect. I am the substratum of consciousness running right through the waking, dream and deep-sleep states and the very support of the body, mind and Intellect. This fundamental consciousness, my true existence, is vibrating continuously without any break through all the states and stages of my life. This self of mine is a continuous flow of consciousness without any intermission and always fully wide awake; for sleep concerns only the body, mind and Intellect. This is my real existence, my real 'I' ness.

     Has this real 'I' ness any form? Has it any limits? In my true existence I am pure consciousness and as such cannot be confined within the limits of a form, which always goes with the body, mind and Intellect. Since I am formless, my existence, which is pure consciousness, must be pervading everywhere, for there is nothing to limit it. Hence, 'I' am a radiating centre of all-pervading consciousness, ageless, death-less, the very substratum of all existence.

We realize this in deep meditation.

JAI SRI RAM