"Game Over": MiSTed!
"Can you tell what it is yet?"
H\A: A lemming!
DC: An aardvark!
H\A: A pony!
Dot was all business, as usual.
H\A: What was unusual was that Dot had replaced her usual tight leather catsuit for a robe and curlers.
"Uh -- confirmed! It's a game. Scanning for landing coordinates."
Dot turned to Enzo. "This is it, Little Brother -- I mean, Guardian Matrix."
DC: (Coach) It's the final quarter of the big game. First and ten, with twenty yards left to go. Go get 'em, tiger!
"On my way, Commander Matrix." He started to go, but Dot stopped him.
H\A: (Dot) Did you brush your teeth?
"Wait! Enzo. . ."
DC: (Enzo) Jeez, Dot, don't hug me goodbye in front of the guys! It's embarassing!
"Yeah, Dot?"
H\A: (Dot)...you forgot your lunch!
"Look -- you're all I have left. Now you be careful out there. I don't know what I'd. . ."
H\A: (Dot) ...tell Mom if anything happened--
Enzo cut her off.
DC: (Enzo) Dude, Mom's been nullified for SECONDS.
H\A: (Dot) What? No, MOM!!
"Hey, don't get all mushy on me. You're a commander, remember?
H\A: Yeah, don't kiss him goodbye. BSnP wouldn't approve.
DC: (Emma) She's KISSING her brother?! INCEST!!
Anyway, AndrAIa and I can take on any User."
DC: (AndrAIa) Yeah, as long as it's not Zaytan from that gods and mortals fighting game, but I'm sure it won't be him!
"Okay, go. But be --"
DC: --prepared! It's the Guardian Motto!
H\A: Yeah, right up there with "To Mend and Defend".
"Careful? I know, I know." Enzo high-fived AndrAIa, and they left with Frisket, eager to show off their stuff.
H\A: Before he became a guardian, it was Enzo's dream to be a male model.
Dot watched them go, her face a combination of fatigue and sadness.
DC: She had one too many ROMs last night.
I put a hand on her shoulder; she turned to me.
DC: (Dot) Take it off before I BREAK it off!
"They'll be okay, Sugar," I told her.
H\A: Actually, that should be spelled 'sugah', in Mouseketerian, sugah.
DC: Wouldn't you get even closer to the actual pronunciation if you spelled it 'shugah'?
H\A: Hmm, maybe...
"I just can't get used to this.
DC: (Dot) Both "Party of Five" AND "Beverly Hills 90210" leaving, I don't think I can cope!
I'm letting my little brother go into games." She sighed wearily. "It's just too much responsibility for a little Sprite."
H\A: Or a little Coke for that matter.
"That little Sprite is a young Guardian," I countered. "Bob knew what he was doing, and he chose well."
DC: He took the Pepsi Challenge! And he switched!
"Bob was supposed to be here to train him!"
"Yeah, and if the portals to the Net were open,
ME: We could get the good stuff! (I'll leave it to you to decide what the good stuff is.)
DC: Yeah, buddy! Don't forget to hook me up!
H\A: NOW who's consorting?
Enzo could be downloaded to the Academy. Look, honey, things didn't turn out that way; we have to make do. We all have our roles to play."
DC: (Mouse) Course, I'd peg you and Bob as 'ROMeo and Juliet', shugah.
H\A: (sigh) First Dark Tigress, then Jo Ann Montgomery. Which of the other Bad Fic Fairies will visit this MiSTing?
Dot nodded slightly; she didn't like letting go of her brother, I knew; but she also knew it had to be done.
ME: He was finally going to the Bathroom all by himself.
DC: Mommy, wow! I'm a big kid now!
H\A: Don't you find it _odd_ that there's a ghostly figure imposing itself on our MiSTing?
DC: No, I find it odd that I haven't thought of revenge for you making me do this yet.
H\A: C'MON! It's not THAT bad!
Specks updated us on the situation. "The long-range sensors nailed it. Game landing where predicted."
Naturally; that's what I built them to do.
DC: They can also process Julian fries.
Both: (Mike the TV) ALL for just 99.99.99!!
"Is the sector evacuated yet? I don't want amateurs getting in Enzo's way," Dot said.
"Sector is being cleared. No movement from G-Prime. Enzo and AndrAIa are on their own."
H\A: That's what I'm afraid of.
"That's what I'm afraid of."
H\A: Hey! I just said that!
It really amazed me how close Dot and Enzo were. I'd never had anyone watching my back every step of the way like that.
DC: (Mouse) 'Cept that time Megabyte was checkin' out mah ASCII.
H\A: It's TRUE! I swear! And did you know Bob was grabbing Dot's ASCII in the Kiss during "End Prog"?
DC: No way!
H\A: (Shows Daemon pic of 'The Kiss')
DC: Dear God, you're right...not that _I'd_ mind if I were Dot! What about you, ghostly commentator, would you mind if Bob grabbed _your_ ASCII?
ME: No comment.
I hoped Enzo knew how lucky he was to have Dot; User knows I was certainly glad to have her in my corner.
H\A: Yeah, that way Mouse gets all the free energy shakes she can drink.
I'm pretty sure Enzo was, too.
"How are the power levels?" Dot was really on edge today; I would have given her
DC: (Mouse)...a push.
H\A: (Dot) AHHHH!
an answer, but she had already moved on. "Any sign the game's nearly over?
DC: (Dot) I need to get to the Y by four.
Is that reading normal?"
H\A: (Phong) Yes, when I read I usually stand on my head.
Thankfully, Phong stepped in.
DC: ...a pile of doogie doo.
"My child,
DC: (Phong) *Darth Vader breaths* I...am...your father.
the game has barely begun. Even accounting for the time
discrepancies between virtual space and game space,
H\A: Long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
DC: Second star on the right and straight on till morning!
there is still a finite time we must wait. Be patient." This seemed to calm her down a little. But Phong wasn't silent for long:
DC: Cause you know Phong, he _never_ shuts up.
"What does someone have to do to get a cup of cocoa around here?!"
H\A: Hang from your ankles while drinking a glass of water and quoting Shakespeare, silly!
Great. Between the two of them, they were nervous enough for all of Mainframe.
H\A: And on enough caffine to power an entire sector for microseconds.
DC: How many mircroseconds?
H\A: Um...twenty sounds good.
About twenty microseconds later,
H\A: See? Dang, I'm good!
DC: (binome) Phong and Dot ran outta juice! We need more caffine!
Specks said the words Dot had been waiting on pins and needles to hear:
DC: Yes, Virginia...there IS a Santa Claus!
"Energy buildup confirmed. Game about to leave."
Dot was giving orders in a heartbeat.
H\A: (Dot) I want the car washed and waxed, Frisket food and leash ready, and get those empty energy shake containers out of here!
DC: (Dot)...and feed my fish? Not too much now!
"I want med teams in there immediately. Full security alert. Get in and get our people out of there ASAP.
DC: Hup, hup, hup!!
H\A: Move it or lose it, pal!
Keep scanning G-Prime -- this is when Megabyte could try something."
DC: (Megabyte) Ooo, that green sweater set looks lovely...
H\A: (Megabyte) You know...navy blue just isn't my color. What do you think about mauve?
"GAME OVER."
Thank the User. Now maybe Dot could relax a bit.
H\A: Yeah, a facial and back rub will help relieve the stress of running a revolution.
"USER WINS."
H\A: (Announcer) User, you've just won a game that sent two little sprites and their dog to their untimely nullification! WHAT are you gonna do next?
DC: (User) Well, I'm getting tired of computer games...I think I'm gonna start reading books!
If there's one thing my life has taught me,
H\A: (Forrest Gump) ...life is like a box of chocolates...
DC: ...Always use protection! No exception!
ME:...Be prepared!!
it's that things don't always happen the way you want them to, and you have to do the best you can with what you've got.
H\A: (MacGuyver) Hmm...a grimy toothpick and shoe horn...that'll can get us outta this jam, no problem!
Hell, I'd practically made a living out of expecting the unexpected.
DC: (Mouse, a la 'Tab and Win Series') Ah took the little test thingy, just t' be saife, and ah tested positive!
H\A: Great, just great. Your favorite bad fanfics have ALL managed to manifest themselves in this MiSTing.
DC: Well, I'm sure I can find more, we still got four paragraphs left.
But as I watched that game cube leave, I was certain of one thing:
DC: Tequilas and heavy machinary do NOT mix.
this should not have happened.
H\A: (Mouse) It shoulda been DOT in that game cube! Then I'd have Bob all to myself!
Not to them. I looked over at Dot -- and almost winced at the expression on her face.
H\A: (Mouse) Dot, could ya stop it with the funny faces? It's gonna make me lose my lunch.
Not to her.
DC: (Mouse) I was supposed to get all the fame and glory, this show was supposed to be about ME! But noo... _She_ becomes the Command.Com, and all the angsty storylines happen to her! I'm going to my trailer!
Now I was angry -- and I wasn't even sure what at. The User, Megabyte, Fate in general maybe.What kind of cruelty was at work here,
DC: (Dr. Evil) No Mini Me, we do not gnaw on our kitty.
ripping this woman's life apart piece by piece?
ME: I never expected Mouse to be so deep.
DC & H\A: (singing) Deep and wide! Deep and wide!...
The whole room was silent; we were all just watching Dot. Tears were starting to run down her face. "Enzo...no," she said, barely above a whisper. Then she screamed, "NOOOO!!!"
ME: (Mouse) Man, can she do a good Bob impression. She sounded just like him.
DC: Freaky.
I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.
DC: Yeah, by _me_!
Tears stung behind my eyes;
H\A: Nasty lil' buggers, them tears.
I fiercely fought them back. Dot had collapsed into a chair and was sobbing uncontrollably.
H\A: (Dot, sobbing) Oh WHY did they have to shoot Old Yeller? WHY?
I went over and put my arms around her. "That's it, honey, let it out. It's gonna be okay; we'll get through this,"
DC: (Mouse) I've still got some 'stuff' from the Supercomputer.
I murmured, only half aware that I was even speaking.
H\A: Yeah, the same way she'd only been half aware that her hair was on fire for the last three seasons.
Dot was unquestionably hit the hardest, but this was a harsh blow to everybody. Enzo and AndrAIa may have been warriors, but they were still just kids.
DC: (Loreal Kids) Because WE'RE worth it, too!
They'd had so much potential, so much going for them--
DC: Yeah, AndrAIa just got signed to Tommy Hilfiger to do fifty magazine layouts, and Enzo just got signed to the Mets!
they didn't deserve to be taken away so soon.
Megabyte's probably gettin' quite a chuckle out of this, I thought bitterly.
H\A: Of course not! You know how much Meggy hates to see people suffering!
Well, keep laughing, you bastard. One of these cycles, you're gonna pay dearly for all the pain you've caused.
H\A: Yeah, and in cash. Mouse don't take credit, sugah!
I promise.
DC: ...not to let you force me to MiST something ever again! (sobbing)
H\A: C'mon! It wasn't THAT bad.
DC: YOU'RE just saying that! You're the one getting all chummy with the author!
H\A: That's cause Meghan's NICE! Tell ya what...if I let you read the 'Truth or Dare' snippet she sent me to beta read, will that make you feel better?
DC: Well...okay.
H\A: Good--
DC: And I want more pixie stix!
H\A: Okay, but--
DC: And a pony! And a crossbow, and a monkey....Ooo! And I want Antonio, holding a big-ASCII nail gun!
H\A: You're pathetic.
CREDITS:
"Game Over" by Meghan Wilk
MiSTed (kinda) by Heather N. Allen and Daemon-chan
(with snippits by the Ghostly Commentator, ME)
MiSTing concept by Best Brains Inc.
MiSTing of ReBoot fanfic concept by Philip LYNX and Zen Zenith
***
"That'll teach you; mess with us, and we'll nail your viral butt to the wall."
Let's go home!