Note: I did not author these. They were sent to me in an email, and fit the random, humor theme of the site. So, feel free to take them and do as you please with them. Just make sure to read my disclaimer at the end...
~H\A~


50 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the sole purpose of filling them and stranding them in random locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball, and see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duals with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and say in an official tone, "I think we got a code three in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them off and set the volume at ten.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" and see if they play along to avoid embarassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

15. Repeat number 14 in the jewlery department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying five feet away. Do this till they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say "Wow...MAGIC!"

20. Put M&Ms on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others they'll be invited only if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from other aisles.

24. Ask customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "Come Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much as the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators, making them say 'hello' upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "WHY don't you people just LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "RED ROVER!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if they have any in stock; i.e. "Do you have any Shnerples?"

32. Take up an entire aisle with a battle pitting 'Beast Wars' against 'Star Wars'.

33. Take bets on the above battle.

34. Nonchalantly 'test' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the antidepressents are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible".

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, and pillows in the pet food aisle.

44. 'Re-alphabetize' the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the Auto department, practice your 'Madonna' look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When the announcements come over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position ans scream "No, NO! It's those voices again!!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a loungue chair over to the magazine rack and relax. Buy a soft drink from the food court; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. If you're under 18, try to buy spray paint! No, really, it's a BLAST! Try tellin' 'em it's for your band director, and look honest! BUCKETS of fun, I SWEAR!!


Disclaimer: I am NOT responsible for anything you chose to do on this list which gets you kicked out of Wal-mart, banned from all stores coast to coast, arrested, or disowned by your friends and family. Oh, one more thing: the code to make an announcement from the store phones is "pound-seven-seven", but you didn't hear it from me. ^_-

HOMEWARD, BOUND!