Bumper Stickers
"All generalizations are false."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."
"I love cats . . . they taste just like chicken"
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons."
"Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death"
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!"
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep."
"All men are Idiots, and I married their King!"
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish."
"Montana--At least our cows are sane!"
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian."
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"If you don't like the news, go out and make some."
"I Brake For No Apparent Reason."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS."
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
"No Radio--Already Stolen."
"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"Learn from your parents mistakes--use birth control!"
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
"Tell me to 'Stuff It'--I'm a taxidermist."
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got."
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools."
"According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist."
"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill."
"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"Forget about World Peace . . . Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
"Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder . . ."
"There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog.--Dorothy."
"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"